Meditate Awake

DAILY INSIGHT: Shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset doesn’t mean you have to ignore all of your negative thoughts. In fact, those negative thoughts are really important to you growth; they highlight potential problems as well as showing you the areas of your Self that you would benefit from working on. People with a growth mindset don’t think only positive thoughts. They simply understand that their negative thoughts aren’t always the whole truth. And they consider those thoughts with interest, welcoming the insight they might hold. For example, pretending that you’re never scared of anything is not helpful to your personal evolution. DAILY ACTION: Acknowledge your fears and ask yourself where those fears come from, and what you can learn from them. Expand your consciousness!

INSIGHT FOR TODAY: Assertiveness vs. aggressiveness. What’s the difference — and how does each affect your stress levels? To be assertive is to express your opinions and choices firmly and with confidence. Assertiveness is rooted in confidence; if you know who you are and what you want, and you know and respect your personal boundaries, it is easier to be assertive. You can communicate firmly but kindly. To be aggressive is to express yourself strongly, but without that kindness towards yourself or others. You’re more likely to be aggressive if you feel less confident in what you’re communicating; you overcompensate. Or if you feel threatened, belittled, or somehow less than the people you are communicating with. Aggression produces and feeds on stress hormones. Assertiveness makes use of hormones that promote calm and feelings of happiness. What situations in your life would benefit from more assertiveness rather than aggression? ACTION FOR TODAY: Seek assertiveness over aggressive in a personal or

Have you seen the list of questions that will make you fall in love? Psychologist Arthur Aron created a list of 36 questions specifically designed to create intimacy between strangers. The questions are divided into 3 sets — with each set more personal and probing than the last. Aron and colleagues argue that by creating a sense of vulnerability for both people, these questions can stimulate feelings of love. The growing intensity of the questions reflects the way that intimate relationships develop — but by asking these questions in sequence, the experience of intimacy is speeded up. These questions may or may not help you and your potential partner — or current partner — fall deeply in love. But they make for a fun evening together either way!

In 2017, the Nobel prize-winning research in medicine was all about sleep. Subjects were confined in a room for two weeks with no clocks, windows, TV or internet. The point was to remove any way for them to know what time it was, or how much time had passed. This allowed scientists to identify a mutation of a gene dubbed the ‘night owl gene’, which governs the circadian rhythm — the 24 hour sleep/wake cycle found in all mammals. The mutated gene makes our internal body clock run slower; and it’s estimated to cause sleep disorders in forty-seven million US adults. What causes the night owl gene mutation? There’s an element of ‘being born with it’, but the research shows that using screens shortly before going to bed aggravates the condition. So overuse of phones, tablets and computers is thought to be a key reason why so many people in America struggle to sleep well.

Yesterday we touched on the power of words to create what you want in life. Today, we go further and use words in a simple practice to change your state of mind. Studies show that labelling your emotions with words can instantly reduce their power to overwhelm you. So close your eyes and start to identify the emotions you’re feeling. Label each emotion with a word. Say it out loud if you can. You might say “Angry,” “Anxious”, or “Hurt”. Or if you’re feeling good, label your positive emotions too! You can use this technique whenever you feel that your emotions are taking over and disrupting your life. Why does it work? Because applying a word to a feeling immediately changes your brain activity so that you’re working from the thinking brain regions rather than the emotional brain regions. And that puts you in a state of mind that’s much better for making decisions and choosing how you want to react.

Let’s talk about the power of words. Repeating statements to yourself that reflect things you want to achieve, feel or be, is proven to be effective when it comes to making those things happen. And if you feel stressed out or worried, or regularly struggle with intense anxiety, repetitive statements could help to turn things around. Create a statement that you can use in any stressful situation. Keep it simple — for example, your statement might be “I am calm even when the world around me is not” or “I am good at working steadily in the middle of a whirlwind”. And then use your statement. Repeat it when you start to feel stressed. Do this regularly, and it will become more and more powerful. Your subconscious mind will integrate this statement into its understanding of life and the world. And you will begin to be what you say.

What motivates you to get fit, lose weight, stay fit, gain muscle — or whatever your body goals are right now? Hugh Jackson said “There comes a certain point in life when you have to stop blaming other people for how you feel or the misfortunes in your life. You can’t go through life obsessing about what might have been.” And this is so important when it comes to health and fitness. You can take responsibility for your body and make the decision to stop obsessing about what might have been. Because instead of imagining how different life would have turned out if you’d had the body you wanted, you can train and reshape and refocus your physical energy. No one else is stopping you.

Directing your energy towards the career and the work lifestyle you really want is crucial to achieving those dreams. And the Law of Attraction reminds us that directing our energy towards the right things also means turning our energy away from the wrong things. Staying in a job you hate because of uncertainty about what you’ll do next will hold you back. A job that doesn’t give you energy and motivation does the opposite — it drains the energy out of you and leaves you feeling apathetic, tired and stuck. And the sense of urgency created by leaving a bad job when you don’t know what you’re going to do next could be the motivator you need to spark new energy. New energy that you can direct whole heartedly towards your genuine passion.

Do you see yourself as a big thinker? Michael Port writes that we assign the role of thinking big to certain people in our lives, but not many of us apply that role to ourselves. Allowing judgemental voices to tell us what could go wrong or why something won’t work means that we start to internalize that negative voice. Instead, Port argues that we need to get comfortable with discomfort and become the big thinker in our lives. We need to surround ourselves with brave and supportive voices, not cautionary ones — and we need to get comfortable with taking risks and learning lessons through trial, error and success.

When psychologists talk about the elements that create a happy and enduring romantic relationship, there are a few things that come up again and again. Having positive thoughts about your partner, sharing good memories, and enjoying new experiences together are all important ingredients of a loving, understanding and caring partnership. Embracing every magic moment that presents itself to you will take your relationship into a new realm. If a couple goes out and dances in the rain instead of closing the curtains and switching on the TV they will create a night to remember together forever. And those memories form part of the foundation that can carry a couple through the tough times.

Biomedical and social research has repeatedly found that men sleep less than women. Scientists suggest various reasons for this — from differences in work, social expectations, and physiological makeup. But why is it important to know about this? Because getting enough sleep is essential for good health and productivity. Sociologist Robert Meadows suggests that women may make more time for sleep and carve out moments in their day to nap, or preserve evening time for early nights. Whereas men “understand sleep as an unfortunate necessity”, because it takes up time that they’d rather be using for something else. Meadows also notes that behaviors involved in preserving sleep might go against men’s desire to prove their masculinity and strength — for example, getting an early night or taking a nap are sometimes seen as childish or weak. In reality, not making time for sleep decreases productivity, mental resilience and physical strength.

Boys crave emotional closeness with their friends. But by mid to late adolescence they turn away from that platonic intimacy. Why? Because that’s what they’re taught to believe is required of them in order to become men. Developmental psychologist Niobe Way discovered this shift in the behavior of young men, and urges us to recognize that what we see as ‘human nature’ is actually just cultural bias and conditioning. In other words, we don’t have to disconnect from human connection in order to be real men. That’s just what society tells us. Way also points out that late adolescence, that point at which most men stop seeking emotional intimacy with friends, is the age when rates of suicide and violence increase significantly. We need to start teaching boys that they don’t have to be alone in order to be men.

How aware are you? Have you noticed what’s going on around you right now? The simple act of noticing is a powerfully meditative practice that you can use to enter the present moment. Any time. Take a closer look around. What do you see? Look up and look down. Focus on detail. Become aware of the way objects connect with each other; the way that one color touches the next. Notice money on the ground. Threads hanging from fabric. The texture of the sidewalk. The lines in the skin of your hands. There is no goal. No great discovery to seek in this moment. Allow yourself to be here and notice. Existing is enough — and how acutely can you exist? How vibrantly? How real can this world become?

Stress can affect your ability to make decisions. In 2017, a study found that stressful experiences influence human decision making in ways that are far more complex than previously thought. Stress can create an internal bias towards habit, and against risk taking. So if you’re struggling with a big decision in your life but you’ve recently experienced significant stress, it might be a good idea to give yourself time to recover from that stress before you take the plunge one way or the other. Making important decisions during a time of stress might hold you back — because you’re more likely to choose the safe and familiar option, rather than the one that feels risky or intimidating. Focus on you first. And then choose your path.

The human body is capable of incredible things. We’re equipped with something unique: the drive and mental power to achieve physical feats far beyond the things we need to do to survive. Take Ross Edgley; the first man to circumnavigate Great Britain in water. Swimming. With nothing but sheer strength, determination, and a wetsuit. Edgley’s 157 day swim left him shattered, with a rotting tongue and 37 jellyfish stings. Why did he do it? To push himself to his limits, and to inspire other people to get out of their comfort zone. He said “find something that you didn’t think you were capable of and prove yourself wrong.” Although not all of us will swim 1,791 miles in cold and hostile water, getting out there and changing your perception of what you can and can’t do might just change your life.

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” These wise words from comedian Milton Berle hold within them an important lesson for anyone seeking to build a career that fulfills them. The perfect opportunity for you might not exist yet — and there’s no need to be afraid of going out there and making it. If there’s a wall in front of you, take a moment. Do you want to get past it? Is there something for you behind that wall? If so, figure out how to step into the space on the other side. Like all things in life, building doors takes practice. But you will only learn by doing.

Rick Hanson, author of Buddha’s Brain, said “Nurturing your own development isn’t selfish. It’s actually a great gift to other people.” This is such a profound statement in a world where we are constantly under pressure to be busy doing everything other than taking care of ourselves. If you feel a sense of guilt for focusing on your development and expanding your experience of life, it’s time to stop. Integrating practices into your life to open up your consciousness and awaken to the full potential of your experience is not selfish. It is good for everyone around you. You will be in a position to help — to really help. You will be calmer and more at ease within yourself. You will be more empathetic, more aware, and better and communicating and connecting with others. This work is not selfish.

The full moon might have an impact on your sleep. Nope, it’s not just a myth! Several studies have found that people sleep, on average, 20 minutes less than usual on full moon nights, and take five minutes longer to fall asleep. But intriguingly, less sleep during a full moon doesn’t necessarily mean worse sleep. In fact, we experience an average of 30 minutes more REM sleep on these moon bright nights. REM, or Rapid Eye Movement, is the sleep stage in which dreams take place — the deep sleep state that is vital for learning processes, memory, and stable moods.

Find three minutes today to stand outside and look up at the sky. Set a timer on your phone with an alert so that you don’t have to look down for the entire three minutes. You could do this first thing in the morning after you wake up — just go outside and look up. You could do it in the middle of the day, or after work, or late in the evening when the sky is dark. Look without expecting to find anything. Without needing to find anything. Look at the sky for the sake of looking at it. Uninterrupted exposure to elements of the natural environment have an incredibly powerful effect on your state of mind. Doing this can even slow your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, and calm the fight-or-flight response of your nervous system.

Turning to sugar in moments of stress is something that lots of us do. The pleasurable experience of eating some sweet, delicious treat makes us feel as though we’re taking care of ourselves in a way. It takes our attention and temporarily puts our stress at bay. But studies point out that sugar is not a helpful antidote to those tough moments in the day. Feeling stressed can actually be a trigger for binging on comfort foods which causes a spike — and then a drop — in blood sugar levels. This crash causes irritability, nervousness and anxiety which leads to even more stress. In contrast, lean protein, healthy fats, green vegetables whole grains keep blood sugar and insulin levels steady, which in turn supports steady energy and mood.