Conversations With A Wounded Healer

“This might be the last chance we have at saving our democracy.” ~Jennifer Contarino  This year, the personal is political. In service to your emotional wellbeing and the health of our democracy, my guest Jennifer Conterino, Psy.D and I are going there. Yup, we’re exposing the damaging effects that an egregiously dangerous personality has had on our collective psyche not to mention the will of a nation in desperate need of healing.  From years of petulant tweets to his most recent and most odious debate appearance, Trump anxiety disorder is real, y’all! Jennifer would know; she wrote a chapter on the subject for The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump: 27 Psychiatrists and Mental Health Experts Assess a President.  Diagnosing the president is, of course, irresponsible as neither of us is his therapist. But diagnosis for our purposes is irrelevant. We’re more concerned with how you’re doing. It’s no coincidence that being governed by this leader is akin to growing up under a narcissistic parent. Both scenarios leav

“It's a weird place to be when you're in the midst of your own work.” ~Ashley Solomon First of all, you know I love getting to know new friends on air. Secondly, if you’ve listened to this show for a while (and why wouldn’t you?!), you know I’m all in when the topic du jour is either NARM-adjacent or Enneagram-related. But when the conversation contains all the things? Oh, my!  Ashley Solomon, PSY.D, CEDS, is founder of Gelia collaborative in Cincinnati and a new best friend. The collaborative is female-focused, supporting women’s wellbeing and empowerment through behavioral health, leadership, coaching, content creation, and events. Ashley specializes in eating disorders, fertility, anxiety, and career issues. While both of us use different models in practice, our desire to help clients regain agency lost to the relational or developmental traumas experienced in childhood is aligned. “We can alter and change those things,” she says, “through some of that inner child work and reparenting ourselves and kind of

“We have to be able to have these uncomfortable conversations and put in some uncomfortable strategies for people to move forward.” ~Brandon Jones What, exactly, is intergenerational trauma? How does structural racism even work? For Brandon Jones, the answers are balled up in the same knot of his origins story. As a psychotherapist, a professor with dual Masters degrees, and a 2013 Bush Foundation Leadership Fellow, Brandon’s committed to educating people about the intentional cycles of trauma and drama that supremacist culture has fostered within families of color.  For white folks, confronting these life-long, centuries-old systems requires acknowledgement of advantages that most of us have come to rely on, consciously and unconsciously. Our conversation begins with Brandon’s winding journey of self-discovery and travels through instances of early bias conditioning and “bootstrapping” - the racist myth that hard work is enough to level the playing field for all - in his own life. He sheds light on aspects o

“I feel like there's so many different aspects of being a hairdresser. It's like, you're an artist, you're a counselor, a psychologist.” ~Shimi Shiba If only someone could take the easy intimacy that hairstylists enjoy with their longtime clients and translate the magic into a formal therapeutic setting… Oh, wait! I’ve met such a person.  In this episode, professional hairdresser Shimi Shiba shares the behind-the-chair insights that have prepared her for a return to school and propelled her toward a degree in counselling. Few vocations provide access to both a client’s body and brain in quite the same way as hairdressing. Routine visits strengthen the trust established through touch and conversation. It’s precisely this bonding that has prompted Illinois (the state in which Shimi practices) to enact a law requiring licensed stylists complete training to identify victims of domestic violence among their clientele.  Now, as a graduate student, Shimi’s melding structured learning with life experience. The years

“Maybe it's not about healing. Maybe it's just about being with people who are wounded too. It's maybe like wounded is we're alive together.” ~Claude Cayemitte Hello friends! This is the episode in which Claude Cayemitte, LCSW blows my mind -- by answering the wounded healer question in a way I’ve never heard before.  So, who is Claude Cayemitte? He’s a NARM-certified, award-winning psychotherapist working with at-risk teenaged boys and their families. He’s a self-described passionate consumer of and advocate for outlets that address issues relating to social justice, systemic racism, and all forms of oppression. He’s a lover of comic books and chess. He’s a hater of spreadsheets (#same). He’s also a Black man living in a country grappling with the ugly, deadly realities of its white supremacist infrastructure and the confines of linear thinking.  Claude encourages listeners to reclaim joy, self-care, and intimacy - with themselves and others. They’re skills he’s had to pick up along his journey. “All I saw w

“Shame is the thing that keeps us from even admitting that there's an issue and that we might be complicit in it.” ~Erin Law I’m back from a brief summer respite with a total buzzkill for some of my listeners: healing from supremacy culture sucks!  There’s no rest for the (white) weary while our Black brothers and sisters continue to fight for their lives. More bad news: not only is our path pot-holed with shame, it never ends. The farther down the road we go, the deeper the cracks we uncover.  Luckily, multidisciplinary artist, somatic movement educator, and bodyworker Erin Law has dedicated herself to mapping this journey. Together with her coworkers at Activist Theology Project, she’s co-creating a process in which fellow white folks can work on healing from supremacy culture’s one-two punch of self-loathing and complacency.  Erin is currently launching a new course: Unraveling Our Whiteness to support an embodied exploration and unraveling of whiteness and white supremacy culture. Guest Bio: Erin Law (the

As part of our "Archival August," we are re-releasing episodes from the past that have held specific significance for me recently, as I take some time for personal healing. This episode with David Clinton was really moving for me personally. David is from my same hometown and I don't know about you guys, but during the pandemic and everything that's been going on, there's been a lot of reflecting on the past and the ways in which our upbringing caused harm or trauma. David has become somebody that I have reached out to more regularly because he's just a really, really awesome guy.  *** David Clinton is a private practice therapist in Naperville, Illinois. He's a native of Cincinnati and studied psychology and religion at Indiana university before entering his masters in clinical psychology from Wheaton college, he's counseled in private since 2002. He's also a guitarist and amateur photographer and an avid reader. David is married and a father of two children who fill his days with laughter, excitement and a

As part of our "Archival August," we are re-releasing episodes from the past that have held specific significance for me recently, as I take some time for personal healing. Lisa Lackey, is one of the premier therapists in Chicago. And it's funny, I knew Lisa from afar for a really long time and kind of had put her on a pedestal. Early on, when we were starting to talk, I remember feeling honored that she was interested in connecting with me. And now she's somebody who I know that I can go to with absolutely anything and she's one of the most generous clinicians. I mean, I know a lot of generous clinicians, but for somebody of Lisa's caliber to be so generous is just truly exceptional. Lisa identifies as a black woman and she's been doing a lot of work in the anti-racism realm lately. And we don't really talk a lot about that in this episode, but the way that she's combining anti-racism work with empathy and compassion is I think truly what needs to happen in this country overall right now. *** Lisa Lackey has

As part of our "Archival August," we are re-releasing episodes from the past that have held specific significance for me recently, as I take some time for personal healing. This episode with Tanya Markul felt right to share right now because the world is going through a major transformation and all the shadows are coming to light so we can transmute them. Tanya's latest book is The She Book v.2. *** Tanya Markul’s path is one of the poetess, intuitive and wounded storyteller. An unwanted child, she was raised on barren soil, of shame, guilt and overwhelming self-hatred. From the womb, her inner navigation was tainted from an ancestry of addiction, instability, abuse and fear. Her journey to self-heal, and to become ready to guide others, has taken many arduous paths, risks and harrowing rebirths. In this episode, Sarah speaks with the Thug Unicorn herself: Tanya Markul. Tanya and Sarah discuss the ecstasy within the ache, what lies beneath our traumatic stories, and how we share our stories in an effort to in

As part of our "Archival August," we are re-releasing episodes from the past that have held specific significance for me recently, as I take some time for personal healing. This episode was recorded in the very beginning of my anti-racism journey, a touching conversation at a pivotal moment. *** Mishara D. Winston, LCSW is a Black, queer, creative adventure therapist and the owner of an uncommon social & emotional wellness sanctuary called To Indy, With Love.  To Indy, With Love focuses on gathering, playing, feeling for communal healing. Each of it's services (mental wellness coaching, experiences & speaking) are specifically crafted for Black, Indigenous & PoC, LGBTQIA+ people and Indiana folks of many faiths, helping them to remember our ancestors were mental health experts and we can socially and emotionally heal ourselves and each other.  Her work is found at @toindywithlove on IG & FB and at www.toindywithlove.com. Mishara has redefined what it means to be an adventure therapist in the M

A quick note to let you know that I'm taking a break in August, and why. Never fear, I'll be back in September and in the meantime, we are revisiting some friends from previous episodes. *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

“Having those wounds shapes you, but also lets the next person know that they can heal from their wounds.” ~Da’Jonese Turner Empathy + Empowerment = Resilience. That’s a standard formula for wellbeing, but without access, whole communities never receive the attention they deserve. That leaves generations of traumas and day-to-day anxieties unidentified and unaddressed.  Lean in to what Da'Jonese Turner, MA, has to say about the power of affordable, accessible wellness options for all. Da’Jonese is the founder of Me In The Making Wellness, a haven where Chicago's Black population and POC can experience mental health care from therapists who understand the emotional baggage -- not least of which is the  “weakness” associated with asking for help.  Da’Jonese fantasy of a mission-driven center has been a bricks and mortar reality since 2015 -- a lifetime ago by today’s hurry-up and wait standards. 2020 continues to serve up wildly mixed messages: Stay home to avoid COVID19! Get out and protest for social change! 

“I feel like everybody has healing qualities in one way or another. We all have gifts, right, and blessings and so I believe everybody... no matter who you are, has that.” ~Ryanne Bright With friends like Ryanne Bright MA, LCPC, CADC, it's a wonder we haven't yet solved ALL of the world's problems. But we're working on it! Ryanne is the co-founder, co-owner and Chief Clinical Officer of The Family Recovery Centers in Chicagoland. As if she didn't have enough on her plate, she's also the founder of Chicago Integrative Center For Psychology. Her ability to reach high-risk kids, often without returning them to inpatient programs, has earned her the nickname "last chance Ryanne" (love that).  Another characteristic that makes Ryanne perfectly suited to connect with the classically challenging to reach? She owns the healer label and all the wounds that got her here: an early reliance on drugs and alcohol as well as a youthful arrogance directed at her own therapy, even as she pursued her degree in the field. She e

“I think it's just really trying to take time to just sit. You don't even have to close your eyes.  Just sit in your home and just look around. What do you hear? What do you feel in your body?” ~Jay Taylor Heads up, beautiful people: My conversation with Sound Meditation Facilitator Jay Taylor was recorded waaaay back in the spring, the earliest days of regional pandemic precautions and well before the murder of George Floyd. Some things have changed...and some have stayed the same. Which practices have you chosen to bring with you on this journey? Jay’s Sit In Sound sessions use gongs, crystal bowls, and percussive instruments to create immersive experiences or sound baths. We discuss how these high-vibe gatherings work to draw out tension, relieve stress, and even help participants address trauma, experiences he’s fostered in a wide range of settings (think corporate seminars, schools, addiction centers). "If you're feeling fear, anxiety, these types of things, we're trained at this point to push those thin

“We're all just trying to figure out a way through it and praying and hoping beyond hope that this hurt and anxiety we feel in these moments are actual birth pains that are about to birth for us something new and beautiful that we haven't yet imagined, or that we've imagined and have never, ever thought possible.” ~Anna Golladay Anna Golladay is a balm for anyone who doesn’t exactly vibe with Christianity. As co-host of ActivisTheology podcast, along with her partner Robyn Henderson-Espinoza, Anna explores the myriad aspects of social healing.  As a United Methodist pastor and co-director of the ActivisTheology, she’s a compelling voice for liberation, equity, and inclusion, the same causes a certain radical mystic and activist was crucified for. Yup, Jesus. For those with an agnostic - or worse - relationship with Christianity, Anna’s ministerial activism will come as a pleasant surprise. Anna’s love for her church is far from blind. This white, CIS-gendered woman with the kick-ass hair (just sayin’) is clea

“The 12 steps are a return to the internal world...If you just do the cogs in a wheel, they will create an emotional rearrangement in you.” ~Veronica Valli Hundreds of people take shaky steps toward sobriety every day. Veronica Valli began her journey 20 years ago this past May. Like many, she credits Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) with helping her stay joyfully sober. But the author, podcast host, psychotherapist and coach knows not everyone shares her experience.  That said, she's not about to let a recent New York Times OpEd piece get away with passing off misinformation as fact - especially where the care of female alcoholics in recovery is concerned.  We chat about that blog post as well as her developmental trauma and eventual emotional sobriety. Her answers to our favorite healer questions lead to our discussion about her experiences with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or tapping.  These days, it’s impossible to close the show without asking about COVID19. "I hope this is teaching us how we kind of have

“If you’re not talking about power, then you're really not doing racial equity work or inclusive work.” ~Brit Holmberg Brit Holmberg, MSW, LCSW, is a staff therapist at The Wellness Center of Loyola University and a longtime friend. He's also the co-creator, alongside his colleague Marion Malcome MSW, LCSW, of “Becoming An Anti-Racist Social Worker”.  Use of that hyphenate is critical to this conversation. Not racist is easy but anti-racist? That's where the real work sits and, spoiler alert: it never ends. As Brit explains, supporting the radical social changes Black people and people of color demand - and deserve - requires white allies to embark upon a life-long process of unlearning and decentering. So what does a CIS HET white guy know about racism? Glad you asked. Brit is clear on this point: he's not one of racism's intended victims. Instead, his mission is to make inroads with people who, like him, have long been the beneficiaries of white supremacist culture.  Does that make him a healer, wounded or

“You've got to set up the dynamic, which is, we can talk about absolutely anything here. I'm not going to judge you. I'm not going to shame you. I can take it.” ~Tristan Taormino Sex episode! Sexpisode? You decide. Either way, educator, author, and media-maker Tristan Taormino talks about the joys of her DIY career and what she wishes therapists knew about sex.  From her first book, The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women (published waaay back in 1997) to her current podcast, Sex Out Loud, Tristan’s dedicated her life to creating shame-free, inclusive spaces where knowledge and straightforward advice flourish. She’s also a prolific maker of feminist porn and erotica and a champion of marginalized voices. She uses her various platforms to amplify the views of her LGBTQIA peers and other groups who are consistently excluded from the CIS male-dominated mainstream conversations around sex and pleasure.  Tristan’s gained plenty of cognitive insight into the client-therapist relationship. She’s participated in ye

“I hope that my work speaks from the scars and not the wounds.” ~Roberto Che Espinoza, PhD Revolutions take work. The movement to dismantle supremacy culture rightly demands that much of the work be done off-camera, by those who benefit most from its proliferation. Roberto Che Espinoza, PhD engages those willing to do the requisite heavy lifting through stories (and, sometimes, food).  As a queer activist, Latinx scholar, and public theologian, they stand at the intersections of systemic analysis and lived experience. As a white-passing person of color, they move through the world with the same power, access, and privilege afforded to those who’ve set the ground rules for centuries. Roberto invites white people to get dirty, to sit with our defenses and explore our tacit acceptance of supremacy culture. Only then, they say, can we join forces and begin to heal our world. “I think the work of coming together is our work...It's an ethics of togetherness because if we are together in a practice of being human wi

~We decided to re-release this episode because we couldn’t think of a better voice to lead during this time. We have chosen to mute ourselves and support #amplifymelanatedvoices through June 7th.  “We have inherited a system and there's nothing we can do about it except acknowledge that and dismantle it. But if we don't acknowledge it, then we are actually maintaining [it].” ~Derrick Dawson A conversation that eloquently connects the dots between capitalism and systemic racism? Straight talk about our American way of life and the foundation of white supremacy upon which it was built? Yes, please, to both!  Derrick Dawson, co-program coordinator of the Regional Organizing for Anti-Racism, aka Chicago Roar, sheds light on the myriad ways white supremacy continues to fester and flourish. Using the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic as metaphor and proving ground, Derrick hits our collective compliance with his high-powered truth rays. He exposes us to the vicious strategies employed by corporations and power-brokers hel