Conversations With A Wounded Healer

“I think the most transformative practice that I've come across is this ability to see that in all of our responses and reactivity and whatever it is we're all, deep down, these beautiful animals who wish that they could live in a world in which everyone's needs were met and everyone loved each other. And we all have that wish. And that's not the world we live in.” ~Tim Desmond This is exactly what a planet in “time out” needs: a conversation with someone who can help us make sense of any effed up sitch. In his latest book, How To Stay Human In A F*cked Up World, author and Buddhist philosopher Tim Desmond, LMFT, invites us to peel back the layers that have been papered over of mindfulness practices.  He helps us dive headlong into the process of self-inquiry, asking us to examine our motivations in hopes that we resurface with a more outward-facing practice. He even gives this Wounded Healer a crash course in compassionate rage - an incredibly helpful sidebar in light of so much pandemic-related dysfunction

I’m happy to share with you an amazing podcast called Back From the Abyss! Our latest conversation was with Dr. Craig Heacock where we spoke a bit about his experiences working with psychedelics in psychotherapy. This episode “MDMA and the Inner Healer” showcases the story of a client and his experience with the MDMA-assisted therapy sessions. It’s incredible! I’m sure you’ll be as touched by this episode as I was.  And of course, if you like this episode, make sure to follow/subscribe Back From the Abyss on your favorite podcast platform.  Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi   Sarah’s virtual speaking gigs:   Wednesday, June 3, 11am Central   Illinois Higher Education Center - Trauma and Substance Abuse https://regi

“I've had a lot of losses and vicarious trauma in my practice and, I think, starting Back From The Abyss was also a way for me to put out just balloons of hope into the world and to remind myself that people do get better and people heal and people do the hard work of therapy.” ~Dr. Craig Heacock For every harrowing loss with which Dr. Craig Heacock has had to come to terms, his practice is also populated by people who are recovering and thriving. He created Back From The Abyss in 2019 with those clients in mind as a way to share their stories of hope and healing.  A quick glance at the podcast’s episode guide speaks to the broad range of topics. The reoccurring focus, however, is on psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, namely the use of ketamine and MDMA as therapeutic tools. Often maligned by us as street or club drugs, psychopharmacology has the potential to accelerate trust within the client/therapist relationship and enhance outcomes.  Dr Heacock provides some much-needed context to this fascinating subje

“Well, that could’ve gone better…” Ever leave a therapy session wondering where things went off the rails or what you might’ve done differently?  Meet your new best friends Carrie Wiita and Ben Fineman, co-hosts of Very Bad Therapy! They dropped by to discuss their show and managed to turn the tables on yours truly with questions of their own! VBT teases out the woulda, coulda, shoulda moments from some of the worst in-real-life therapy session stories that Carrie and Ben have ever heard. But they’re not here to dish out blame-and-shame. Instead, they offer enlightened, empathetic course correction within a safe space, allowing vulnerability and professionalism to co-exist. If you’ve ever listened to a cringe-worthy therapy tale and thought ‘Oh no, I’ve done that, too!’, we’re here for you. *** Very Bad Therapy gives voice to the stories that begin with an exasperated "You would not believe what happened with my therapist." Weekly episodes explore real-life stories of very bad therapy experiences as hosts Car

“We have inherited a system and there's nothing we can do about it except acknowledge that and dismantle it. But if we don't acknowledge it, then we are actually maintaining [it].” ~Derrick Dawson A conversation that eloquently connects the dots between capitalism and systemic racism? Straight talk about our American way of life and the foundation of white supremacy upon which it was built? Yes, please, to both!  Derrick Dawson, co-program coordinator of the Regional Organizing for Anti-Racism, aka Chicago Roar, sheds light on the myriad ways white supremacy continues to fester and flourish. Using the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic as metaphor and proving ground, Derrick hits our collective compliance with his high-powered truth rays. He exposes us to the vicious strategies employed by corporations and power-brokers hell-bent on destroying our relationship to our planet, our communities, and ourselves. Once you see the light, I guarantee you won’t be able to look away.   Derrick C. Dawson is Co-Program Coordinato

“Forgiveness is not a tool to heal trauma.” ~Nate Postlethwait Here’s the thing about my conversation with Nate Postlethwait: his story made this Wounded Healer all sorts of mad - in the best possible way!  Buckle in because Nate’s journey from confused and closeted to out and authentic is a white-knuckle ride on the complex trauma rollercoaster. There are enviable highs - travel, career success. There are stomach-churning lows - sexual abuse, intense religious indoctrination, conversion therapy. And then, there’s a moment of messy, divine clarity when a broken man grabbed hold of his agency, stepped off that ride and found the other side of saved. Now, Nate’s ready to share the lessons he’s learned from “doing the work”. He’s currently busy prepping a coaching program with a unique six months on/one month off timeline.  Beyond that, Nates wants to give back by creating a safe megaphone for others to use. “This version of the ride has come to a complete stop but there’s so much more to Nate’s story on the pod

“The whole system was created to keep you distracted onto a battlefield. You could not have been put on this wonderful journey called life to fight. That could not be what we are here to do.” ~Monika Black  What do you get when a leadership maximizer and the Wounded Healer get together to discuss light and shadow, happiness and shame? A roadmap to joy and an invitation to claim your agency, naturally!  Besides being an amazing human, Monika Black, PhD., is a positive psychology expert who’s shifted to coaching, a space she says allows her to live and lead with authenticity. Pick an -ism (capitalism, racism, sexism, colonialism) and drill down to its essence, to the core of shame and pain. That’s where adherents to and victims of the dark -isms find themselves, existing in the shadows. The -isms take away individual agency and force victims to work from a deficit.  Monika sees her role as a guide out from under dark power structures.  “I can't dispel the shadows,” she said, “but in the light, they are irreleva

“You do your personal work. We really believe that we’re the change agents and we can't take our clients anywhere we haven't gone.” ~Adena Bank Lees Adena Bank Lees, LCSW, LISAC, BCETS, CP is an accomplished speaker, author, experiential trainer, and consultant working in traumatic stress and addiction. She’s a leading authority on, and advocate for, psychodrama, a modality that employs guided role-play in private or group sessions. And Adena’s encyclopedic knowledge of her field is as impressive as her compassion and empathy are genuine.  This is one of those rich, inviting conversations that begs to be bookmarked for future re-listens; it’s just that good!   Adena clients face a wide range of challenges, from transgenerational trauma to covert emotional incest. She creates safe spaces in which intuition helps them rework their personal stories. This isn’t an erasure of the past. Nor is it an exercise in traditional forgiveness. “It's the feeling, it's the understanding, it's the grieving of the losses, of t

“I look at it kind of like “ally”, right? I would prefer that other people would call me a healer rather than me calling me a healer. Just like I would prefer people calling me an ally rather than me calling myself an ally” ~Chris Hoff Where to begin with Chris Hoff, PhD, LMFT? Do I start by introducing you to The Radical Therapist, his highly binge-able podcast in which he interviews like-minded rebels in the healing arts? Is it better to go waaaaaay back to his years as a successful but unfulfilled tech entrepreneur? Perhaps you’re more interested in his evolution from meditation newbie to devout Zen Buddhist? Or, maybe, you’re looking for a kindred spirit in recovery, anxious to hear about his decades of sobriety?  Whichever Chris you prefer, you’re in luck! Our conversation is as multi-layered as the man himself. There’s an obvious link between Chris’ ability to exist in an easy flow with his woundedness and the years he spent trying to numb his unhappiness through work and substance abuse. His quest for

I’ve tried meditation but...eff that!  Sound familiar? If meditation’s super-precious, über-enlightened rep has put you off in the past, Sarah’s guest Liza Kindred is here to reintroduce you to the practice - using language that this wounded healer is down with! Liza is a wearable tech consultant, a trauma-informed meditation instructor in training, and the author of Eff This! Meditation: 108 Tips, Tricks, and Ideas for When You're Feeling Anxious, Stressed-Out, or Overwhelmed.  In addition, she’s also the creator of the Eff This! Meditation community, home to free meditation resources as well as a soon-to-be-launched online course. Accomplished as Liza is, she’s about as unlikely a guide as you’ll find within the rarified ranks of meditation teachers. In other words, she’s perfect AF. “Have you heard of the phrase teach from the scar, not from the wound?” Liza asks near the end of the conversation. The quote, she says, reminds healers, parents, and teachers of all practices to use their wounds for good. But

“I'm very grateful for the wounds that I have acquired in my life. And I see now how those wounds were openings to something greater.” ~Gregory Koufacos The patriarchy, amiright?! They’re an easy (and rightfully) targeted group. However, there’s an entire generation growing up under the influence of our current system. What are we - therapists and society in general - doing to help them heal from the twin scourges of addiction and toxic masculinity?  Gregory Koufacos MA, LCADC, NCRC, founder and CEO of Velocity Mentoring, is the bright light in the dark tunnel, not at the end of it. He and Sarah discuss his work with emerging men and bond over what addiction therapy practitioners can do to better support this community.  So where do we begin? What can we do to advance the healing? Glad you asked!  Primal Method, Greg’s soon-to-be-published book, addresses those very same questions. “A big part of the process is teaching men that we cannot take what we want, right?” It’s common-sense messaging that’s rarely re

“Each person is uniquely designed and each person is part of a big, giant puzzle of humanity.” ~Robin Winn This episode is like...your brain on pure, vibrational energy. Robin Winn, veteran therapist, Human Design specialist, and the best-selling author of Understanding Your Clients Through Human Design, chats with Sarah about how this relatively new system of awareness can radically alter the way we interact and empower us to see (and appreciate!) each other for who we really are. Using Sarah’s chart as an example, Robin explains some of the systems key components, including the four types of humanity. The results are compelling. Her analysis zeros in on this Wounded Healer’s strengths, weaknesses, and childhood struggles. “This is why it’s so helpful for a therapist or a coach or a business!” Robin says. “If I could do this for therapists, if I could use this with coaches, just think how much more quickly they could support their clients on their path and how empowering it would be!”  Just think, indeed! 

"I've been freaking out about this lately, and I saw on The Today Show yesterday, one of their medical experts said, “we have to remember that this is temporary.” And as soon as I heard that, there was something in me that took a breath and was able to pause and stop freaking out for just a moment." ~Sarah Buino Sarah offers insights and practices for leaning into confidence and flexibility as tools in a time of crisis. With a balance of practical considerations as a business owner, personal reflection, and a trusty tarot card reading, Sarah shares a meditation and an app that just may help us get through this. Special invitation for you!  Sarah is hosting a complimentary online gathering April 1st, 2020 from 7-8pm CST Go to: https://www.surveymonkey.com/rSPQP896 and share your email to receive an invitation to join. *** If you'd like to contribute to the work Sarah is doing, join the community on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/WoundedHealr  Leave a review in Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/p

“It’s hard to ask people to be comfortable with confusion. To let people sit in that a little is a challenge for most of us but vitally important. I see growth happening in discomfort.” ~Chuck Bernsohn Pronouns are powerful. And comfort is overrated. In this episode, Sarah chats with Chuck Bernsohn, advocate for LGBTQ+ and chronic illness communities, about the profound - and provoking - conversations taking place around descriptive language norms and how word choice has the power to heal long-standing systems of oppression.  As a non-binary queer person, Chuck knows firsthand how gendered language is used to reinforce institutional and personal biases. As a trans-affirming gender equity trainer, they work with both management teams and staff to create workplaces that are inclusive of all genders.  If you’re a beginning ally worried about using gender-neutral language incorrectly (or forgetting to use it at all), don’t worry, you probably will at some point. And that’s okay! Fragility - in all its forms - nee

How do you show up when you’re a therapist (or therapist-in-training)? It’s this existential question that formed the foundation for The Modern Therapist’s Survival Guide, a podcast created by Katie Vernoy and Curt Widhalm.  If you’ve ever struggled with the prevailing wisdom that therapists should exist in session only as blank slates, you’re not alone. “I was taught to be beige,” says Katie of her formative training. But the idea of working from an emotionless center didn’t sit well with her or Curt. So they built an online space in which practitioner authenticity, and all the challenges that came with that vulnerability, could be explored.  As if the podcast wasn’t enough, Katie and Curt also created Therapy Reimagined: The Modern Therapist Conference, a yearly event celebrating diversity, innovation, and connection for the #moderntherapist IRL. Of course, Curt and Katie serve up some healer and wounded healer realness and get into the thorny issue of continuing education hours. But Curt and Katie aren’t

“Sometimes, we need permission to be as awesome as we are.” ~Sarah Prager You know that old saying about strangers being friends you just haven’t met yet? This episode is exactly that.  Sarah Prager LPC, LAC, is the clinical manager of co-occurring treatment at AllHealth Network Colorado as well as an EMDR practitioner and a Daring Way facilitator. So, that’s TWO Sarahs in conversation about codependency, empathy, shame and Brené Brown for the price of one show!  But the best part is Sarah’s personal journey story. She came to this profession by accident! Sort of. The second-best part is that Sarah and Sarah became acquainted by accident. Sort of.  “Now that I look back on my life, I realize I was always supposed to be doing this,” she says. “I’ve seen addiction and mental health everywhere from my childhood and I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. It wasn’t an accident.”  So how did she get here? Originally a musical theater major, Sarah’s post-graduation search for work led her to a summer camp for traumat

A flight attendant and a music teacher walk into a podcast… But not just any podcast, mind you. This is CWH’s 100th episode! To celebrate, OG listeners Rachel and Margaret join the show to get giggly and get deep.  They bond over their favorite episode (10!), and turn the tables on Sarah with a few questions of their own. Tons of fun, loads of a-ha! moments, and a couple dozen swears (naturally). Plus, the scoop on how Charlie the pyrite skull became the show’s mascot.    “You can be in service to others and still be on your own journey yourself,” That’s Margaret, a multitasking mother, musician, teacher, freelancer, and Patreon of this podcast, describing a CWH truth she’s come to rely on while pursuing her own degree in social work. “I had this illusion that people who are therapists and people who help others have to have all their shit together already before doing that. I always felt like, well, I don’t have my shit together so how can I help anybody else?” This podcast isn’t called Conversations With A

There are thousands of online personality tests, all designed to help you uncover your type -- or, at least provide an inventory of adjectives that probably, maybe, sort of describe you. The Enneagram is not a modern survey or sliding scale of attributes. Nor is it a superficial list of words. It’s a system with ancient roots based in sacred geometry.  “To know the Enneagram,” says energy healer Rachel Alexandria, “is to have access to information about yourself that makes you feel like you’re not broken, you’re not wrong, and you’re not alone.”  Rachel is a former psychotherapist who found herself dissatisfied with the limits inherent to office-bound therapy. She wanted to support her clients in the spaces between their visits: where they lived, how they worked, the projects they needed to complete. With the Enneagram’s personality model as her foundation, she created a healing practice dedicated to accessing energies and guiding clients through their radical transformations. “I work with people to mainly he

“I feel like the Millennial generation...we’re very into breaking the generational curses.” ~Lauren McBride Behind the strong black woman archetype are millions of women seeking balance; safe spaces in which they can let down their guard without shame, fear, or judgement. Lauren McBride, LCPC, is poised to destigmatize mental health self-care in her community and, in the process, allow POC--especially women--the right to claim a more nuanced, authentic expression of self. Lauren’s desire to concentrate on the black community, a portion of the population historically underserved by therapists and counselors of color, sprung from a childhood spent in foster care. As a black woman working with clients who’ve experienced past trauma, relational issues, depression, or anxiety, she understands the cultural implications around seeking assistance. For the strong black woman, asking for help can be tantamount to tearing down generations of defences. Ironically, that’s exactly what Lauren aims to do: support POC in the

 “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars.” - Kahil Gibran  Taking care of others? That’s the easy part: shining a light so others can find their own way. But taking care of ourselves? Well… when the self is shrouded in shadows, the wounded healer can get lost in the dark.  **Trigger warning for those with spiritual or religious wounding.** A dark night of the soul, a phrase based on the 16th-century poem of the same name by St. John of the Cross, is, essentially, the suffering one endures as they travel toward spiritual growth and ultimate union with the Divine (in St. John’s case, God). I t’s a kind of existential road trip in which the first leg of the journey is difficult and the second absolutely horrible. In the deep end of this crisis, the wounded healer abandons agency; sinking while waiting to be saved. But, by reclaiming the ability to make choices, we can reconnect with our Divine (however that being manifests for you). When we do the wor