Conversations With A Wounded Healer

“Let's get this very clear: therapists are humans; humans are human. And, therefore, we experience the same things as our clients.” ~Bianca Hughes Perfectionism, professional pivots, and the privilege of creating space for healing. So many bases covered in this conversation with Bianca K. Hughes, LPC! Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned the cultural exchange insights - Bianca’s a British ex-pat residing in Atlanta (shout out OTP and ITP!) - or the book recommendation...or the NARM chitchat.  If there’s a single overarching theme to this discussion, it’s sacred vulnerability. Bianca makes a case for living and practicing in the glory of our imperfections. As a first-gen Brit born to Caribbean parents, Bianca brings a multi-directional perspective to her Atlanta practice. Her style is less linear, outcome-driven. For her, healing is a circuitous journey she shares with her clients. She’s quick to let them know she’s not the ultimate oracle or guide.  There’s a truism about therapists specializing in the areas wher

“Humor is how I handle the world." ~Jim Martin This one’s for the pun lovers, the meme-generators, and...the meditation-curious. Jim Martin is all of these things and a potato. As founder of The Unusual Buddha, a multi-platform community that explores meditation, spirituality, and metaphysics through an irreverent, contemporary lens - and that lens often has a potato filter over it. Jim says the goal of his mini meditation “empire” (seriously, he’s everywhere) is to provide practical, accessible meditation resources.  That’s not to say that Jim’s funny memes and quick meditations aren’t rooted in an expansive knowledge of and devotion to his practice. Instead, he’s a modern-day student of Buddhism with a fresh way of alternating belly laughs with poignant truths.  Jim believes that the tools for creating inner peace shouldn’t be so difficult to gather or understand. Nor should the practice itself feel so weighty. His rationale is, if you’ve got eight seconds to take a full breath, congratulations! You’ve just

“So, here’s the thing: liberation work is about imagination.” ~Shawna Murray-Browne What a treat this episode is (IMHO), and what a gift Shawna Murray-Browne is! That exclamation point is not hyperbole, as you’ll soon hear. As founder and executive director of Kindred Community Healing, Shawna is a liberation-focused practitioner whose forward-thinking mental health care has the power to restore generations past, present, and future. I first came to know Shawna through her brilliant class Decolonizing Therapy for Black Folks, a program so influential that I took it a second time alongside my entire staff. Liberation is the work of reconnection, a reweaving of generational threads so that the holes left by trauma are finally, wholly addressed.  “I do think that connecting to our pre-colonial history helps us to understand some of our karmic sort of energy,” Shawna says, holding space for my inquiry about white expressions of pre-colonial wholeness as well. She ends our mind-bending, heart-opening discussion wi

“What’s the point of getting better if everyone you know and love is still sick?” ~Mishara Winston Mishara Winston, LCSW, believes that healing is the byproduct of communal joy. A hundred episodes ago, this Black queer woman redefined for us what it meant to be an adventure therapist. Three years later, she’s back to share her leveled-up vision. Mishara’s one of my most favorite people and most favorite interviews. It’s exciting to catch up with this genius spirit as she continues her professional and personal transformation.  To reverse-engineer her evolution, Mishara dug into the bone-deep knowledge of her ancestors. She pulled back layers of formal education, returning to ancestral muscle memory. What did the village elders know, the medicine women, the spiritual guides? Mishara wants everyone to return to their campfires, to reclaim their latent talent as a healer.  But how to extend that ancient healing outward in modern times, to folks who have neither the money to seek out trauma care for themselves no

“My relationship with power and control has evolved. One thing I am not afraid to say anymore is that I'm on a mission to get more power so I can redistribute it.” ~Kim Young Let’s get into some trouble, shall we? Good trouble. The kind that shifts paradigms, creates opportunities, and leaves plenty of room for rest. For that we’re going to need a dope accomplice. Kim Young, aka Dope Black Social Worker, is a revolutionary who has liberated herself from the idea that she had to be a therapist. Instead, she opted to forge her own career path as a self-described good troublemaker.  The good trouble that Kim hopes to stir up is fueled by two core beliefs. First, that humans are interconnected and we need each other. Second, that racism and white supremacy are permanent fixtures in the United States.  Here’s the thing though, by accepting this with certainty, Kim says she’s more realistic about the changes that can be accomplished. Combating anti-Blackness in all its forms is her focus. As such, she doesn’t take

“Compassion and relationships create all opportunities.” ~Dr. Nzinga Harrison Revolutions need revolutionaries. What’s true for the social justice movement is true in the drive to create more equitable mental health opportunities; after all, these threads have been entwined throughout this country’s history. Meet my new favorite person in the whole wide world, psychiatrist, podcast host, and amazing human Dr. Nzinga Harrison! As co-founder and chief medical officer of Eleanor Health, Dr. Harrison has flipped the addiction care script by centering the client in a holistic, whole-person, whole-life embrace.  Eleanor Health’s model is a radical departure from prevailing intervention methods, so much so that I got choked up about it during this convo. That’s partly in response to Dr. Harrison’s common-sense compassion, and partly due to my seething frustration at our current (broken) system of care. Her experiences have shaped her answers to the healer and wounded healer questions -  answers I have never heard be

“I do want to help people build something big and awesome and impossible and that's of a very high value and that is client-centered.” ~Annie Schuessler How much do I adore Annie Schuessler? Let me count the ways so you, too, can fall hard for this business coach who helps therapists make an impact beyond a traditional private practice.  She’s also the host of two podcasts: Rebel Therapist™ and Listening To Adoptees. However, the real juice of this episode is about leveling up your professional therapy or healing aspirations and still being intentional about how you make, share, and spend your money. It’s not a contradiction to be client-centred, well-compensated, fulfilled, and successful! Annie explains it all.  Annie understands the mental gymnastics that therapists and healers get into aligning their desire to serve with capitalism’s myriad abuses. As a therapist herself, she’s tackled personal questions of shame and worthiness that often percolate below the surface and get in the way of success.  Through

“I think as therapists, there is no such thing as true neutrality, right?...The importance is knowing and owning your bias so that we can prevent it from doing harm.” ~Jessica Fern Polyamory. Well, now that I have your attention…let’s get into it, shall we? Ohhh, y’all, this episode is meaty with material courtesy of the brilliant Jessica Fern, psychotherapist, coach, public speaker, relationship expert, and author. Her new book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy* explores healthy attachments through a refreshingly non-traditional lens.  But hold up, monogamy-minded folks! You’ll want to pay close attention as insecure attachment styles can sabotage any relationship; we either feel safe and secure within them, within ourselves, or we don’t.  We can, however, foster securely functioning relationships - no matter the number of participants.  Still, too many therapists disregard the validity of monogamy, incorrectly citing it as a byproduct of childhood misattunement rather than a healthy

“It takes serious dedication to kind of chip away at rules and the contracts that we've picked up over our life that we didn't get to choose.” ~Ryan Herrick Healer, humanitarian, and homebuilder Ryan Herrick wears many hats. But the topper that compliments every aspect of his life best is the one labeled musician. The ongoing pandemic has forced Ryan to explore alternate methods of delivering his sonic magic and his interdisciplinary approach to healing. He recently produced Of Sea, a collection of new music dropping February 12, out of a desire to connect through difficult times. In this episode, Ryan shares his music with us, as well as the pandemic-prompted lessons reminding him of what it means to be fully human. “As therapists-slash-healers, we are often the perceiver and the perceived. We’re kind of going through this process of, like, self-work which is never-ending.” Ryan’s words echo the spirit fostered in every Wounded Healer episode: leaning into the dynamic joys (and, often, pain) of healing self

“What would it look like if I stopped trying to contort myself to fit other people's ideas about how I should be?” ~Christina Watkins A new year...and breathe! Let’s get into it. But first, we need to get honest at the micro and the macro. Who are we, personally and professionally? What do we want for ourselves and our careers? What are we no longer willing to tolerate in others or ourselves? What are we prepared to expose to ensure our mental health? What does all that honestly look like? Ask Christina Watkins LCSW. Over the last few years, this thoughtful, funny, Black, queer ciswoman has crafted a practice of sustainability in all things: career, personal life, public persona. She’s learned truths about honesty, both brutal and beautiful. After so much mental and physical exertion just to stay afloat, Christina’s now better equipped to advocate for her body and her spirit.  Call it equity of the ask, a soul-centered space from which Christina now lives. From here, she simultaneously confronts and protects

“Ultimately, I think for anybody who is struggling, just find that tiny bit of spark, that little bit of hope, and hold onto it.” ~Natalie LeSueur There’s no better way to end this ____(insert your fave adjective here)___ year than hanging with Natalie LeSueur and me for Part II of our conversation. If you’ve not yet listened to Part I, go back! Get acquainted with this luminous lady and then join us for our high-vibin’ finale!  “I think for most of my life, I didn't want to be here. I didn't have a place. I didn't feel safe,” Natalie explains, retracing her journey from abused child to breathwork, embodiment, and yoga teacher - a healer born from multiple complex hurts. The aching familiarity of her story affirms one of my favorite NARM truisms: we instinctively want to move toward healing. And we keep trudging onward until we find our beacon.  Natalie knows what it’s like to bob alone on rough seas. These days she shines her light so others can find their way, holding safe space online, a format that’s off

“I really feel like I not only deserve love, but I am love. I really am.” ~Natalie LeSueur The brilliant, wise-hearted Natalie LeSueur of The Light Collective is many things: mother, breathwork teacher, intuitive… the list is extensive. Natalie’s also a survivor of complex psychological and sexual trauma. I’m grateful for her honesty and willingness to share her multi-layered experience. To that end, for listeners who are feeling fragile with this type of content, please take care of yourself first. Bookmark this episode for a later date; we’ll be here when you’re ready.  In this first of our two-part conversation, Natalie and I discuss her adolescent traumas and how she finally found support on her journey to becoming a source of light for others. Her healing is centered on the belief that inner work evolves rather than finishes. It’s a lesson which circles back to the connectedness in all things: science and survival; client and therapist; podcaster and listener. “I just really liked listening to how people

“Every time I’ve helped someone with their grief, my own grief diminishes” ~Mark Sanders My chat with Mark Sanders, LCSW, CADC, is more than just a conversation; it’s a full-blown appreciation situation. If you’re in the field of addiction in Chicago, you know Mark as an inspiring speaker and thoughtful mentor.  I envy those of you “meeting” him for the first time here, on the pod; Mark makes memorable first impressions. He’s got stories to tell, naturally, as an author who’s contributed pieces to the famed Chicken Soup for the Soul series. He has ideas to share about social justice, policing, and community connection, as befits someone who’s spent his entire career at the intersection of addiction and mental health.  Beyond all of the above reasons to love Mark, he’s also a bona fine wounded healer. He survived intense generational trauma in addition to the nationwide strife that rocked the 1960s.  Now he wants to heal on the macro level, with his brilliantly designed plan to reduce police shootings at the h

“In complicated grief, what happens is, you haven't just lost the person, you've lost your identity.” ~Dr. Mark Rider Mark Rider, PhD, has developed a language for understanding the lyrical relationship between body and brain. “We learned how to use music improvisation to mirror a person's pain, to mirror a person's imagery of their cancer. And then we would change that music [so] it went in a healing direction.”  His work might best be described as a chemical connect-the-dots. Dopamine. Endorphins. Serotonin. There’s a reason your favorite piece of music makes you feel good - the brain produces all three of these chemicals in response.  Mark has adapted that mirroring further, creating a revolutionary treatment option called revisioning. In practice, the psychotherapy technique “activates” the same neurotransmitters of the brain when a client sits across from and communicates with a mirror image of their loved one (in the instance of grief) or themselves (in cases of trauma, depression, PTSD, etc).  As someo

“I wish somebody would have told that to me: it's okay to struggle. We're supposed to struggle; we’re humans. We’re complicated; we’re messy.” ~Patricia Young One of my greatest joys in life is connecting with a fellow outcast and truth-teller. All the better if said person comes equipped with a nickname like Mad Lady-Balls. Patricia Young, LCSW, the person behind the stern, brass-plated moniker is everything you’d expect her to be: hilarious, whip-smart, and dishy. She’s also unapologetically sensitive, a trait she’s built into both a successful career and a popular podcast. Highly sensitive. If you’ve ever had that phrase leveled against you, then you know the sting of those words. You’re also acquainted with the shame-spiral that accompanies all that over-thinking and over-feeling. But it’s precisely these traits, the intensity and the emotionality, that Patricia says any highly sensitive person (or HSP) should reclaim and celebrate. Her podcast, Unapologetically Sensitive, gives HSPs the space to come as

“Happiness is not a room. Compassion is not a place. Mercy is not a state. It passes, like anger, like hunger, like horniness...These are all emotions, and you have to observe them.” ~Rabbi Iggy Gurin Oh my, it’s been a week, hasn’t it?! The windows are open and fresh air is pouring in. While that big picture feels a whole lot brighter today, there’s still hella personal work to do. For anyone challenged by addiction, the world still feels awash in shadow. But Rabbi Igael Gurin-Malous says connection is the light in the darkness and everyone has access if they keep walking. Iggy is absolute sunshine in human form, a self-proclaimed wise-ass and walking contradiction. He’s the f-bomb-dropping spiritual counselor, the rabbi with tattoos and the podcast, Tattoos and Torah.  Professionally, Iggy’s a renowned Talmud teacher and founder of T’shuvah Center in Brooklyn, NY, a space that offers those in recovery a community to which they can genuinely belong rather than simply fit in. Here, authenticity plays a vital

“There’s a lot going on for the election; we know that we are not dealing with business as usual. It’s a huge turning point in the chart of the United States.” ~Dawn Silver My past and future selves got together two weeks ago to record this episode addressing this singular moment in history. The election is technically over, all votes cast but possibly not counted; all tensions less inclined to boil over but the pot remains on the fire. In times like these, when terra firma still feels shaky, I’ve found it incredibly helpful to consult the wisdom of the stars, like a landlocked sailor. I take comfort in the points where psychology and astrology converge.  Who better to help sift through the cosmic election detritus than Dawn Silver? Chicagoans might remember Dawn best as owner of Healing Earth Resources, the bookstore, organic cafe and healing center that shone like a metaphysical beacon in West Lakeview for 19 years. Dr. Silver is a naprapath, astrologer, herbalist, crystal healer and aromatherapist. She’s a

“Post-traumatic growth is a privilege and…  we need some way to detail and describe [it] without glorifying or idealizing this idea of growth while still experiencing trauma” ~Cassie Walker Bookmark this episode as the one with the Dungeons and Dragons reference and a Porterhouse steak metaphor. Seriously. No other guest has their way with tangents - or the status quo - quite like my good friend Cassie Walker. Cassie is a Black, queer activist and entrepreneur, and a life-affirming, sex-positive, kink-aware, tabletop role-playing nerd. Cassie’s impressive cred also includes their recent NARM™ Therapist designation. Who knew? Me. I knew. So, of course, our conversation delves into NARM-specific themes of complex trauma, attachment, and spiritual connection. Listen, I may be in the driver’s seat of this podcast but Cassie’s taking this episode down roads less traveled, introducing us to the Odu, the sacred text of Ifá, a Yoruba religion from West Africa. As far afield as that may sound, this episode is never in

“We store so much stuff in our body. So, sometimes that's trauma, sometimes it's joy or whatever, and to be able to recognize, be aware and, like, feel what's happening and name it sounds like you're on your way to, you know, being connected to your body.” ~Nicoletta Heidegger  Healing is what happens to you while you’re busy recording a podcast. This is the second in a series of deeply personal conversations but, unlike the first, I did not expect a landslide of emotion. I did not intend to share my real-time revelations with you.  And yet, here we are. 100+ shows in and I feel as securely held by you, this amazing community, in this process as I did my guests Nicoletta Heidegger, MA, MeD, LMFT, who shepherded me through the spontaneous quake; and Rich Buino, LSW, my husband and post-show co-pilot. My hope is that all my messy vulnerability resonates with you and sheds welcome light on what can feel like a dark, lonely process.  For the sake of mutual safety, this episode is preceded by a trigger warning reg

“There's definitely a deep, there's a deep fear of...annihilation isn't the right word but there's something about, like, going beyond the ego because it's unanchored, right? ~Sarah Buino “...as we move towards freedom, there's always madness… ~Livia Budrys  Radical transparency is overwhelming, messy, scary. It’s also empowering. In a year marked by long-overdue exposure of the myriad illnesses affecting our society, I humbly offer up the first of several deeply personal conversations. I’m grateful to my best friend and incredible human Livia Budrys for riding shotgun on this episode. She’s a beautiful presence in my life and an insightful honorary co-host. If you’re a longtime Conversations… fan - thank you, btw - you know I’ve no problem sharing (to a fault!). And why not? This stigma associated with therapists seeking support is both ridiculous and dangerous - to our own mental health and to how we show up for our clients. As Livia says, this year has forever changed the impetus for disclosure. It’s no co