Launching Your Daughter|psychotherapy|anxiety|trauma|mindfulness|parenting|depression|relationships

Today’s episode is all about boundaries. What are boundaries or limit setting, tips for setting boundaries and why they are important for teen girls and parents. Each week I discuss boundaries with my adult and teen girl clients. There are many myths about what a boundary is and misunderstandings on how to set them. In this episode you will learn: What is a boundary Tips to set boundaries Healthy vs unhealthy boundaries To see the full show notes visit http://launchingYourdaughter.com I invite you to sign up for my newsletter because I have some upcoming announcements for teen girls and for mothers.

My guest today is Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist and director of the internationally renowned Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. Lisa pulls back the curtain on the teenage years and shows why your daughter’s erratic and confusing behavior is actually healthy, necessary, and natural. Her book Untangled Guiding Teen Girls through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood, an instant New York Times best seller, explains what’s going on, prepares parents for what’s to come, and lets them know when it’s time to worry. I am excited to speak with Lisa today about her book and dive a little deeper in one of the chapters. In this episode you will learn: Why Lisa wrote the book Helping parents and teen girls prepare for the future Teenage development is not a personal affront to parents Preparing for the future Requirements and concerns have changed over last ten years These changes are not in alignment with normal development Creating stress for parents and teen girls Can create parents to be too involved Many

Today’s guest is Jonathan Singer who is an associate professor of social work at Loyola University Chicago's school of social work and the founder and host of the Social Work Podcast. He is the author of dozens of publications, including the 2015 book "Suicide in Schools: A Practitioner's Guide to Multi-level Prevention, Assessment, Intervention, and Postvention." Jonathan has been a practicing social worker for 20 years and has spent much of that time working with suicidal youth and their families. He's a Hoosier by birth and graduate of Earlham College in Richmond, IN. He lives in Evanston, IL with his wife and three kids. In this episode you will learn: Examples of how parents can communicate with their teenager about concerns of suicide Breaking a myth around suicide Resources available for parents, teens and mental health professionals Jonathan’s experience with working with suicidal folks He is a teacher and researcher Working with folks who are suicidal for years Uses family system perspective LGBT tee

Today’s guest is Jessica Paist who has her degree in marriage and family therapy and is located in Jenkintown, PA. Jessica is a teen therapist who specializes in empowering tween and teen girls. She uses a family systems approach, which means she supports the parents along with their daughters. In this episode you will learn: How group therapy can empower adolescent girls quicker than individual therapy Girls gain awareness they are not alone Girls can support one another To find out more check out the show notes at http://nicolecburgess.com/ep30

Today’s guest is Lynn Dutrow who is a licensed clinical professional counselor and courage coach in Frederick, Maryland. She has over 25 years of experience in the psychology and education fields and now offers coaching to teens and adults who struggle with anxiety. In this episode you will learn: Difference of coaching vs counseling How coaching can be effective with managing anxiety Benefits of parents doing coaching How coaching is different than counseling She explains how coaching can begin before parent or teen is diagnosed with a mental health diagnosis, such as generalized anxiety disorder Coaching focuses on the present vs reflecting on the past Lynn shares how Auntie Anxiety came about for coaching business This “character” can help bring in humor to the hard work and get teens and parents to get outside themselves for a moment How coaching can help manage anxiety Education about the parts of the brain that activate anxiety and fear Amygdala works like a smoke detector and its has an important

Today’s guest is Amy Morin who is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and a lecturer at Northeastern University. She is also a keynote speaker, parent teen expert and child discipline expert for VeryWell.com and best selling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. I watched Amy’s TED talk, The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong, recently and I am excited to speak with her today about how parents and teens can build resilience. In this episode you will learn: Building your mental strength What locus of control means Role modeling your mental strength to your teen Taking calculated risks Why Amy wrote a book Amy shares her personal story of the loss of her mother and husband and how it impacted her journey in becoming more mentally strong during tough times She began to write articles after the death of her husband She wrote a letter to herself about “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, posted it on line “and it went viral” Amy does speaking events in helping others “giv

At the time of this recording fall is here, which means here in the U.S. that holidays are approaching. For many people the holidays are filled with happiness and family gatherings. For some people the holidays may be filled with sadness and loss. If you have lost a parent, partner, family member, friend or a family pet, I will discuss some ways to cope with the loss. In this episode you will learn: It is healthy to share your feelings and honor the loss Adults and children share and express grief differently Self-care and self-compassion are important during this time of season Ways to Cope Talk to someone about what you are feeling or experiencing. Some people are too uncomfortable with grief, so find someone who can listen to you. If this is the first holiday without that person you may feel sad or lonely and sharing this with a trusted friend or loved one can help ease the pain. Talk about what you miss about the person or what ritual you used to do together around this time. Create a ritual to ackn

Today’s guest is Jennifer McGurk a registered dietitian nutritionist and certified eating disorder registered dietitian. Her practice is located in Nyack, NY. Jennifer believes that every client has different nutrition needs and what’s right for one person may not be right for another. She believes in intuitive and mindful eating, and structures her sessions based on lifestyle changes, behavior modifications with food, and creative and realistic meal planning strategies.  In this episode you will learn: Jennifer works with adults and teens who have an unhealthy relationship with food or they want to change the relationship they have with food Nutritional food is for fueling the body and decreasing the cravings Gaining awareness of behavioral patterns or thoughts around food For therapist and dietitians Need to begin to change what we consider normal in the media and change the language Discuss and recognize the negative “fat” talk-example “my cheeks are fat” or “I’m not beautiful” Begin to neutralize it wi

Today’s guest is Dr. Melvin Varghese a psychologist in Philadelphia, PA and host of the popular podcast Selling the Couch. He is a colleague and my mentor in this podcasting journey. We discuss what perfectionism looks like from a male perspective, how it impacted Melvin growing up and how he manages it as an adult. One goal of this episode is to continue to raise awareness how perfectionism not only affects women, but men too and ways to challenge old thoughts/stories we tell ourselves. Now here is todays episode. In this episode you will learn: How Melvin recognized perfectionism beginning as teenager and ways it manifested How he manages those behaviors and thoughts now Continuing to challenge societal beliefs about what it means to be a man Embracing imperfection Men sometimes wear perfectionism as a badge of honor Society seems to have a double standard for men “When I hold this truth and embrace these imperfections is when others can see our humanity.” Give ourselves permission to feel both negative

Todays guest is Laura Reagan LCSW-C. She is a Certified Daring WayTM facilitator, in private practice located in Severna Park, Maryland and has a podcast called Therapy Chat. She specializes in working with adults who have experienced some childhood relational trauma, such as emotional or physical neglect, physical, sexual or emotional abuse, or have witnessed domestic violence. On todays episode Laura shares what parents and teen girls can do if they believe they have been sexually abused. In this episode you will learn: Laura defines sexual assault as: “any unwanted sexual touching (touching rear end, touching sexual body parts) to rape…child sexual abuse, sexual assault where no intercourse to rape.” Sexual abuse and assault is considered a trauma Statistics: 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of 6 boys under age 18 yrs have had some type of unwanted sexual experience Often the person who has been sexually assaulted will not know they have been an answer the question as “no” when asked. But when ask more sp

Today’s episode is about communicating more effectively with your teenage daughter through reflective listening and assertive communication. You are role modeling problem solving skills to her using these skills. Now here is todays episode. In this episode you will learn: Brain develops from back to front Teens don’t have full frontal lobe until they are 24 to 26 years old Frontal lobe impacts executive functioning and impulse control Listening: Reflective listening or Active listening Improve problem solving skills for your teen daughter Parents ask yourself if this is your problem or hers. Does this problem interfere with my rights or responsibilities? Does it involve the safety of my teen or others? If no then her problem You will reflect the emotions back or guess what she maybe feeling if she hasn’t stated an emotion Don’t force her to talk about what is going on if she doesn’t want to and let her know you are there for her Reflect both the positive and the negative times with her Communication Styl

Today’s guest is Jill Castle, registered dietitian nutritionist, author, podcaster, speaker and mother of four teenagers. Jill works with families with babies up to young adults. She encourages parents to support and guide their teenagers in learning the life skill of cooking. Teen girls need this life skill to understand how nutrition impacts their learning, memory and moods and also gain confidence in sustaining themselves once they move out of the family home. Now here is todays episode. In this episode you will learn: A statistic states only 26% of today’s parents know how to cook Let teens experiment in the kitchen they will burn food they will create weird combinations they will learn and gain confidence Typically begin this skill by cooking or baking sweets Natural progression in learning skill Baking-is a science and you follow recipes Cooking-more flexible and more room for mistakes Assembly of food-create salads, make own dressings, put together sandwiches Parents need to be supportive and th

Today’s guest is Maya Benattar, licensed creative art therapist and board certified music therapist in New York city and Manhattan, NY. Maya talks about her work with women and how singing, music and mindfulness can calm worries and fears. We know music is important to most teenagers and can be a great way for parents to connect with them. Music can help us transcend from the stuckness to a place of feeling seen and connected. In this episode you will learn: Maya works primarily with women who struggle with anxiety “ Triumph over anxiety to understand it and move through it.” Getting women out of their heads and “noticing” where their anxiety is and interrupting that cycle Disconnect between mind and body and relearning that connection through sound, sitting in uncomfortable for little bit and through creative ways Techniques Used: Vocal psychotherapy-using voice, singing exercises Do not need to be a singer or have vocal training Use mindfulness around music that is meaningful to them Where do you feel it

Today’s guest is Amy Pender owner of SRI Investing. Amy’s passion for breaking down economic barriers for women and girls shines through this conversation. She encourages parents to make money a non-taboo topic. I remember my parents talking about saving, investing and being money conscious growing up, which has helped me as an adult. I hope this episodes encourages you to have more dialog about money with your daughter. In this episode you will learn: SRI Investing is a team of financial advisors and they specialize in helping people invest in companies whose processes and products are not harming people or the planet Old myth- if you invest this way you give up return but 20 years research shows otherwise Statistics: Pink Tax: 42% of the time products marketed to women cost more than those marketed to men and boys Tampon Tax: Feminine hygiene products-no male equivalent-are treated as “luxury tax” in most states Earners or Gender Pay Gap- Woman earn $.79 for every $1.00 of what man earns-regardless of ed

Today’s guest is Stacey Horn who is a personal development coach specializing in relationships, and a clinical hypnotist in Colorado. In this episode she discusses the power of introverts and how the different temperaments can affect relationships between parents and their teen daughters. In this episode you will learn: Stacey shares her personal experience of her relationship with her mom as a teen and how she is changing that with her daughter Ray W Lincoln’s book “I’m a Keeper” was recommended to her years ago and she has incorporated his teachings into her professional work She uses Temperament Sorters by Ray W Lincoln and focuses on strengths How do you restore your batteries? Staying in or going out with others Takes introverts longer to process and respond *How do you take in information of the world? Use of five senses is “S” Or through sixth sense is “N” *How do you make decisions? Thoughts and analysis is “T” Or how do I feel or how others may feel is “F” Hear differences in peoples use of lang

Today’s guest is NaKaisha Tolbert-Banks, licensed clinical social worker and addiction counselor, certified laughter yoga leader and certified empowerment coach in energy leadership here in Indianapolis, IN. She works with teen girls, adults and families to develop, strengthen, and enhance positive relationships with self and others through the understanding and use of laughter. Now here is todays episode. In this episode you will learn:  Why laughter is used during sessions  No she doesn’t tell jokes  Parents come in frustrated with their teen daughter’s behavior She works with them in stopping and reflecting on events and behaviors and may begin to laugh at themselves for how they responded Begin to change perspectives (both parents and teen daughter)  Embrace having “do-overs”-not about perfection in parenting or with being a teen girl Empowering families “When one person in your inner circle is suffering it affects the whole unit: same when person is feeling empowered” Working with millennials-parents te

At the time of this recording high schools and colleges are beginning again. This can be both an exciting and nervous time for both teen girls and their parents. In today’s episode I want to explore creating rituals around your daughter preparing to graduate high school this year and going off to college next year or moving out of the family home. If she this is her first year at college I will be sharing some ideas to support her and you (the parents) in this change. In this episode you will learn: There are various rituals all over the world that acknowledge, celebrate or reflect transitions in life. (Sometimes referred to as rites of passage.) There are graduation ceremonies and open house parties for when your teenage daughter graduates high school  We have funeral services to celebrate and remember those we loved We have rituals around the change in seasons One area I notice that seems to need a little help is creating a ritual within the family system to help with the transition from high to college o

Welcome! Today’s guest is Amanda Campbell, licensed mental health counselor and life coach in Indianapolis, IN. She works with creating connection with distance couples and creating balance for busy moms. Today we focus her work in helping busy moms create a more organized life for themselves and their families. I also wanted to let you know I needed to mark the episode as explicit due to one swear word in the title of what Amanda is offering at the end of the show. There is no other swearing or cussing, but I wanted to share that with you so you know it is not throughout the episode. In this episode you will learn:  Amanda explains the difference in counseling vs coaching services She works with busy moms who feel overwhelmed or stressed out Whether mom works full time or stay at home with kids Coaching can help with establishing goals, organization and positive perspective Amanda also offers working on goals of parenting and/or relationships She encourages family meetings (for more information on the im

Welcome! Today’s guest is Sharon Martin, licensed clinical social worker in San Jose, CA. She works with adolescents and adults in helping them embrace their imperfections as individuals and as a family. In this episode you will learn: Sharon began her career working with teenagers  She is a mom of three children In her work she pulls from her own personal teen years and the struggles she had socially, being sensitive person, and with perfectionism “Lost sense of who I was” Perfectionism can impact both teens and adults Increase stress levels If I’m not perfect, then it will be catastrophic Attempting to people please and look for approval of who you are Teens need to separate, become individuals and mess up and learn from their mistakes Supporting parents is similar to how working with teens Help parents in letting go Explore how they as parents are separate from children What do you imagine the the worst thing is going to happen and how realistic is it that it will happen Inner exploration vs looking o

Welcome! Today’s guest is Mercedes Samudio a licensed clinical social worker turned parent coach. She is located in Huntington Beach, CA. Mercedes passion to help end parent shame and empowering families comes through clearly. In today’s episode she shares her work with families in discovering their strengths, areas they are needing support and giving them tools to help navigate the tween and teen years. We also talk about perfectionism and how that impacts parenting and your teenager. In this episode you will learn: Mercedes speaks to parents in discovering and unlocking their unique parenting powers She takes what the families know, explores what they need and teaches how to implement the tools she gives and what they learn on their own Tween and teen parenting-more exposed with technology which changes their level of development How to understand these development stages What your tween/teen should be developing Normalize changes Helps parents guide child in healthier ways Teachs communication skills