100pedals Talk

It all began with a phone call informing me my son was in jail. What unfolded from that call was a story of homelessness, legal troubles, and a heroin addiction.  This is where my addiction journey began.  In the early stages I learned all about addiction related behaviors. I received a crash course in theft, deception, arrest, court systems, and jail. With every relapse, every arrest, every painful event, I felt more the failure as a man and a dad. All this became so painful, so difficult and so overwhelming it broke me. Thankfully, there is so much more to this story and it gets much better from here.  The following podcast is a recording of a talk shared with the congregation at Broadway Christian Church.  It is an inspiring, uplifting, and informative message for parents and other family members struggling with the addiction of a loved one.  It also provides a insightful perspectives for those who do not yet understand this issue of addiction and what families go through when dealing with a loved one who

One of the greatest conflicts that arise as a result of addiction in the family is the impact this has on the parents’ relationship.  Moms and Dads respond to the situation and look at the issue from two different perspectives. At some point in the process, as the addiction adversity increases, the differences in approaches often lead to conflict, confusion, and resentment.  When parents are divided, the addiction has control over everyone. The family will experience an even greater division at a time when strong agreement and support for each other is at its most critical juncture. Addiction can easily, and often do, ruin marriages. This can be avoided. Nothing is more critically important to an addiction issue than having two parents in agreement, collaborating to find ways to support each other and their child appropriately, while going through the collective thought and education process together.  In today’s podcast, I talk about the keys to parents working together, how they can proactively collaborate

Every parent dealing with the choices and behaviors of child with an addiction struggles with developing and honoring boundaries.  In reality, most parents struggle with clearly defined boundaries and consequences, in general.  Teaching our children and ourselves this lesson is a critical life skill that the entire family benefits from.  The process for creating healthy boundaries involves three key steps. First, in a moment of rational thought clearly define your rules and expectations for the acceptable behaviors of others. Second, take time to share these expectations and outcomes with those involved. Finally, make and honor your commitment to follow-through on the consequences you have identified and articulated. Every parent has the authority and the responsibility to teach their children, whether they are using or not, that there are expectations and rules associated with their behaviors and their choices.  Part of teaching these responsibilities requires parents to be willing to assign outcomes for fai

We have all heard the saying “your gut is always right.” Despite our affirmative experiences with this truth, we have all had that defining moment where we wish we trusted our gut instincts. It is hard for parents to believe that one of their children is using, lying, being dishonest, or manipulating them.  Even though our strongest instincts are screaming at us to pay attention to them, many times we allow denial, not instinct to manage our decision-making processes. In this podcast, I share a story about a personal experience with denial and the powerful lesson I learned to trust my instincts from that day forward. From this experience, I have developed the confidence to trust my instincts over everything and it has protected me from disastrous decisions ever since. **** If you are struggling with the addiction of a loved one or child and need someone to talk with, please contact me. I am here to help you better understand the situation and help find a way to maneuver through the chaos and the pain. You can

This podcast segment is a response to a question sent regarding the boundaries a parent set for her addicted son. The boundaries didn't change anything and now the parent is struggling to be comfortable with the decision and the undesired outcome. In this response, I reflect on two components to this challenge: First, the motivation and necessity for these boundaries in the first place; Second, encouraging they embrace the opportunities for a healthier life as a result of their decision. So many times, we take action hoping to inspire a response that causes a change in behaviors, attitudes, or results. However, not everyone will see the guidelines as motivation enough to change. This does not mean we adjust our guidelines, it means that we need to recognize and honor the benefits of these constructs on our life until our loved one reflects appropriately on the impact of these boundaries on their life.

The question was asked, "how do you talk to your addicted child without pushing them over the edge?" The answer is easier than you may realize, executing it may take some time and effort. We want so badly to steer them toward recovery, responsibility, change that it is hard to resist the urge to remind them what they need to do to get there.  When in reality, they pretty much know all this already. In this short podcast, I share the approach I have used to have healthy conversations with my addicted son. While it sadly has not changed the choices he is making, it has enabled us to have very productive conversations that allow me to convey my unconditional love, hope and my commitment to him regardless of his mess.  I have learned that these conversations are more impactful to him because he always leaves knowing he is loved and left with something that reminds him there is hope. **** If you are struggling with the addiction of a loved one or child and need someone to talk with, please contact me.  You can rea

The last scheduled speaking stop on the Cycling for Recovery Mission was in Somerset, PA on Sunday, September 25. With nearly 35 people attending this event at St. Francis in the Fields Church, I shared the story of my journey with my younger son's addiction and the impact it had on our family. The chaos and pain of the addiction of a child can often break a parent as they often go all in to save their child.  I was one of those parents.  It took me almost eighteen months before I realized how destructive my son's addiction was on my life - relationships, home life, health, and business. In this talk, I share the struggle in my journey.  More importantly, I share my story of how I learn to love my son and help him through his struggles while learning to live and celebrate my life in healthier, happier, more peaceful and powerful way.

Dave Cooke made a presentation in Godfrey, IL on Tuesday, September 6 at the United Methodist Church. Dave shared the story of his journey with his youngest son's heroin addiction and his testimony in how he has found peace and hope in the chaos. 100Pedals is sharing this message to provide guidance and inspiration to other parents struggling with the addiction of a child. This talk was part of 100Pedals' Cycling for Recovery campaign a 3600 mile cross country cycling ministry.  The mission with this ministry is to provide love and support to family members struggling with the issue of the addiction of a loved one while bringing education and awareness to the issue of addiction in our communities. To learn more about the Cycling for Recovery Mission - http://cyclingforrecovery.com.

Today's guest, Midwestern Mama, went searching on the internet to find the answers for dealing with her son's addiction. Frustrated by her inability to find cohesive information for simplest of searches, she knew she would need to build a better on-line community, someday. In the meantime, she studied, researched, and interacted in many of the same ways every parent does. Except, she kept a mindful eye on managing the other relationships and resposibilities in her life - her other children, her husband, and her career.  Maintaining balance while learning, while growing an on-line support community helped her navigate and evolve through the difficult, challenging, and painful experiences of her son's addiction.  Today, her online community, Our Young Addicts is a manifestation of the lessons learned and the resources built through her journey and experiences, plus the wisdom and insight of others.   Resources: Our Young Addicts (Website) Our Young Addicts (Twitter) Our Young Addicts (Facebook)    

How do our belief systems affect our behaviors and responses to a child’s addiction? Do you want to learn how to better navigate the obstacles that get in our way? Have you ever struggled to find your way to a better, more peaceful life? Welcome to the addiction conversation.  Today’s guest, Tam Veilleux, is a mom, a transformational life coach, and a parent with a story about her child’s addiction.  Leaning on every ounce of professional training and experience, she was able to work through her own painful, difficult and challenging experiences with addiction – including her son’s harrowing, near death overdose.   Tam shares her journey plus her passion and commitment for coaching other parents in similar situations.  In this podcast she enlightens us with her three step approach to transforming our lives, even in the most chaotic and disruptive of situations.    Links to Tam's Coaching Programs: http://www.choosebigchange.com/dealing-with-addiciton/ http://www.choosebigchange.com/recovery-coach/

Not many people survive a thirty year addiction filled life unless it is followed by a nine year celebration of recovery. Today’s guest, Michael Manning, is one of those special people. Not only has he been celebrating his nine year recovery he has utilized his experience and his journey to teach, coach, and counsel those who are in their own addiction battle.   Like many of our addiction conversation podcasts, Michael brings his personal brand of honesty, passion, perspective, and truth our interaction. Please join the conversation as Michael shares his views and experiences with drug courts, parents of addicted children, societal stigmas, and rehab facilities.  There's a little something in here for all of us. Enjoy!

Today’s guest shares our passion, our desire, and our commitment to better treatment norms and outcomes for all people and families suffering from the effects of the disease of addiction. Today’s guest, Lorne Hildebrand, is Executive Director of Edgewood Treatment Facility in Vancouver Island, Canada.  Our guest passionately and enthusiasticlly declares "the disease of addiction is treatable" and how it can be accomplished. He shares a proven, conventional and documented approach - though it is not as easy or simple as any of us would wish it to be. Lorne brings a refreshingly direct and honest conversation to the issue of addiction in our society, including the legal, medical, societal, political, educational and personal obstacles to obtaining and sustaining a proper treatment regimine. There is nothing better that an authentic intellectual discussion about addiction - today's Addiction Conversation delivers in a wonderful way!  

Today’s featured guest brings her powerful perspective to a very painful, personal story.  On April 12, 2013, Arlene Rice lost her youngest son, Gabriel, to his addiction. Through her extended addiction journey, Arlene has lived, learned, and experienced a great deal. From the moment she held her son Gabriel in her arms for the last time, nearly two years ago, she has been on a passionate journey of faith, advocacy and education. On today’s conversation she shares very moving and comforting perspectives for parents who are dealing with the addiction of child and for parents who have lost a child to their addiction. In today’s conversation, Arlene reminds each of us the incredible power and peace discoverable and accessible in the resources around us. Arlene’s message of faith, hope, love and restoration are quite compelling. Combining her past experiences with a relentless quest for knowledge and insight, Arlene brings wisdom to the addiction and parenting discussion. Those who take the time to listen to t

Today’s guest, Chris Aguirre, has been in recovery from alcohol and drugs since 1997. From firsthand experience he knows sobriety may be simple but is not always easy.   Chris shares an interesting recovery story and brings a unique perspective to his conversation.  For Chris, recovery wasn’t connected to a treatment program or sustained by traditional methods. Though he followed an untraditional, somewhat ill-advised path to his recovery, his eighteen year sober journey has been reflective and elightenting.   It is in conjunction with his perspectives of past and present that Chris has made a commitment to be a resource to those who are dealing with their addictions.   In our conversation, Chris comments on: His own challenges dealing with the addiction of a loved one; The joy that comes from witnessing others grow in their sobriety; The power that comes with positively reflecting on your past without trying to hide or forget it; How he found contentment in recovery and life. We are often blessed by

  Today’s guest, Chavonne Long didn’t know what to do when she realized her son had an addiction.  Rather that react, she responded.  Her response was to learn everything about addiction, the impact that her son’s drug of choice had on his brain and on his recovery, and she set out to manage how the family would interact and communicate in the face of this issue.     It wasn’t always smooth or easy. It was like learning a foreign language. She did it.     Addiction can and does destroy families. Today’s podcast offers constructive perspectives on how to minimize or better manage the impact of addiction on the family.     In this podcast, we cover three critical learning areas for parents who are struggling with addiction in their family:     How to create and define expectations for everyone, including the one with the addiction, that facilitates respect, communication, and understanding; The critical importance of self-care in coming from place of strength and clarity in managing this issue; The power

Today’s conversation features Jennifer Miller - a mom with two perspectives to her addiction story. As a professional therapist, she works with young adults and their families dealing with the issue of addiction on a daily basis. As a mom, she witnessed the devastating effects of addiction through her 27 year old son’s opioid addiction battle. As more and more stories of children dying from addiction overdoses have been shared, Jennifer made a commitment to be more involved, engaged, and active. Her passion for this cause clearly resonates in our conversation.  Listeners to this podcast will learn from her story about her son. How he went from a wildly popular, accomplished, scholarly student to a young man struggling with his addiction. Plus, we discuss the impact that labeling people “addicts” has on their recovery, the perceptions it reinforces, and how we can change the addiction discussion simply by changing how we talk about it. As Jennifer declares there is a battle out there; but, it is not the b

Today’s podcast features an incredible, if not improbable story. At 22, Jack Kelly was homeless, living on the streets, and addicted to heroin. Having lost everything that was important to him – his family, his athletic prowess, his dreams – all he had left was his addiction. Even though they don’t have to, too many stories end here. Fortunately, for us and for Jack this story demonstrates that recovery is possible. That hope is not wasted. And, those who find their recovery are capable of incredible, successful life outcomes. When you listen to this podcast, you will hear how Jack found his recovery, turned his life around while living and celebrating an accomplished, exciting life – running for office in his hometown of Boston, working for and mingling with community leaders, and even developing an IRecover App to help those in recovery connect with others in the same situation. Never lose hope, never give up – it possible. Jack is proof amazing recovery stories can and do happen!   Links of Interest: Tw

When it comes to parenting and addiction, “sometimes you have to think out of the box.”  Today’s conversation features the story of a mom, Gerry Standard, who found herself at a point of desperation. She didn’t know what else to and decided to trust her instincts and her research and do something different. Her “different” was Ibogaine and her experience began over six years ago. We talked about Ibogaine with the staff at Crossroads, Inc. on a previous conversation. The team shared wonderful insights and opportunities for the Ibogaine approach.  It was quite interesting and compelling to hear the personal story of a family’s direct experience with Ibogaine*.  Since her daughter’s Ibogain treatment* six years ago, she has been clean the entire time and has made great progress in reclaiming her life.  Those who listen to this podcast will again discover that Ibogaine is only part of the recovery process. Aftercare is also the other critical component; plus, a willingness to all members of the family in reco

What happens when a father’s recovery journey is not enough to protect his daughter from following her own addiction path? In today’s conversation we hear the story of father who spent a good part of his life fighting to find his recovery to be the dad he knew he could be. And, the subsequent story of his life in recovery as his daughter fought her own addiction battle until she nearly died from an overdose. It has been a long journey, the lessons, experiences and outcomes of their choices have had lasting impact; but, love is the victor in this battle. In this podcast you will hear about the journey of addiction, how guilt and hopelessness can trigger more abuse, and how recovery can be found in very unique and special ways. My thanks to Jeff Bertolet for sharing his incredible story and committing to using his story to inspire others.

Today's guest is a very special advocate for our children and loved ones. Judge Jodi Debbrecht Switalski, is a district court judge in Michigan.  More importantly, she is clearly leading the way to help change the way addiction is managed in the courts, in our criminal justice system, and in society.  She is a voice of education, awareness, and change. As parents dealing with this adversity in our family, we can all be grateful for the presence of those who think forwardly and proactively. More importantly, we cannot stand by and have others fight our battles on our behalf. We must join in the fight for increased awareness, for improved education, and for the change that helps our children and loved ones in their battles with addiction. Please listen to this podcast and learn more about the resources and programs that can help us in our battle.  Nothing changes until we stand tall and fight for change.  I promise, you will find hope and courage in this conversation! Peace! Links of interest: National Associat