Meg-john And Justin

Content note. We chat about different kinds of pain and also talk a little bit about injury and trauma. This podcast is all about pain and sex, with a focus on how to ensure that sex isn’t painful in ways that you don’t want it to be. We’ll do a future episode about how to bring pain or strong sensations into sex if that is something you want to do.

Here we chat about how we might go about enjoying penis in vagina sex more. Which is a bit of a radical departure for us, so we hope you find it useful. Listen to this in tandem with the Enjoy Non-Genital Sex https://soundcloud.com/megjohnjustin/enjoy-non-genital-sex and you'll be on to a winner. Also our Being Present For Sex video which we mention is here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oYaDYX8LCo

Trans and the GRA This week we spent the podcast talking about trans and the Gender Recognition Act (GRA) given that this is in the news so much at the moment. More details (and links) at https://www.megjohnandjustin.com

This week on the podcast we tackled the issue of jealousy in answer to the following question… Is jealousy healthy in a relationship? Or else, is the absence of jealousy unhealthy or even possible? If it is, how do we get there? If it's not, what do we do to manage it? And how do we know whether it comes more from us or the behaviour of other person? Head over to megjohnandjustin.com to read our blog to accompany this episode. MJ&J x

Cosmopolitan x Instagram created #AskMeThisNotThis campaign, which was created in collaboration with influential LGBTQ+ figures and explores the outdated and often offensive questions they’re sick of being asked. We were asked to record one of our podcasts at their final event. We thought it might be a nice thing to do for Pride Month so we did (we didn’t get paid, though we did have a couple of very tasty bento boxes). On the panel were Sade Giliberti - Gilberti is a South African TV presenter and works to raise awareness of LGBTQ issues: https://www.instagram.com/onesadie/ Hannah Winterbourne - In 2013, Hannah came out as a transgender woman and became the highest ranking transgender soldier within the British Army. As part of the Army LGBT Forum, she became the Army's Transgender Representative where she has responsibility to advise Senior Army commanders on transgender policy: https://www.instagram.com/hannahw253/ Jessica Kellgren Fozard - Jessica Kellgren-Fozard is a disabled, gay YouTuber who

Here we chat with Alex Iantaffi our mate, who now hosts the wonderful podcast Gender Stories. You can search for this through the usual podcast platforms. He can also be found at http://genderstories.buzzsprout.com/ and on the twitters https://twitter.com/GenderStories and also on the instagrams as GenderStories. It's a long one, but we didn't want to break it up because of plugging references (you'll hear).

In the podcast this week we talked around a topic that a listener had emailed in about: the wisdom of getting back together with somebody you’ve broken up with. They rightly pointed out that a lot of relationship advice says this is never a good idea, but that there are plenty of circumstances where it could work pretty well, for example if your needs and desires have become more compatible or if you’ve done some work on yourself in the meantime to bring you to a different place.

Staying with feelings in relationships In the last podcast we ended with a point about how it’s always okay for people to have the feelings they have, and that it’s important to cultivate the ability to stay with other people’s feelings: whether that be our friends, partners, or other people in our lives. Staying with feelings is an idea MJ has written a lot about including this zine which goes through the reasons why it is important to learn to stay with our own feelings, and how we might go about it. Juz has also written about the important of staying with feelings when supporting people in our lives. Generally if we can stay with feelings - or ourselves or another person - those feelings can be experienced and expressed and move through us. If we can’t stay with feelings then we often layer more feelings on top of the existing feelings as we try to eradicate or repress them, e.g. guilt about feeling sad, then worry about feeling guilty, then frustration about how anxious we feel. Trying to deny or get a

Changing relationship agreements over time We were inspired to do this podcast by a Dan Savage podcast where Dan suggested that a non-monogamous person starting a relationship with a monogamous person could always try a monogamous agreement for a while and then shift to a non-monogamous one. We liked the ideas of seeing monogamy to non-monogamy as a spectrum that people could move around on over time. This is very much how we see it ourselves - check out our zine for more on this. The rules or agreements that we make in our relationships can and should be constantly shifting, not something we lock into place forever. This is because both individuals and relationships change over time in all kinds of ways. More on this in MJ’s book Rewriting the Rules. In the podcast we unpack two key ideas in relation to this: It’s okay for rules to change over time We should let others know if the rules are likely to change 1. It’s okay for rules to change For example there are many reasons that we might decide that we h

We tried to think of a really easy question for us to answer like 'what do I do if I need to fart whilst getting a blowjob?' But this being us, we unpacked this to talk about how we might navigate our use of the toilet when it comes to sex and relationships

This podcast covers the different ways to go about getting laid - having unpacked what that means, and how it might mean different things for different people of course.

Here's a bonus podcast with our hot take on Queer Eye (which is a show on Netflix that's right up in our wheel house - although Justin has no idea what a wheel house is, a house made of wheels?). What does it open up and what does it close down? This is one of those 'chatty chatty chats' rather than a 'trying to answer a question chat.' We'll be back with another more regular podcast next week.

Content warning: In this post - and podcast - we discuss deliberately non-consensual behaviour. We don’t give any detailed descriptions, but we do touch on things like rape culture, the low conviction rate for sexual assault, and how people often make excuses for other peoples’ non-consensual behaviour. If these things feel live for you at the moment do please think about how to engage with this in a way that is kind and gentle with yourself - if you want to engage at all.

Hear our panel discussion with Girl On The Net about how to give sex advice (full title, how to give *responsible* sex advice). Read the blog here http://megjohnandjustin.com/sex/give-sex-advice/

We discuss how we might feel better about our bodies. So we touch on the social messages we get about bodies and this includes us talking about fatphobia, diets, 'health', disablism, but we don't go into much detail. It's a long one -- sorry about that.

In this podcast we decided to unpack romance… and kind of put it back together in a different form. By the end of the podcast we realised we’d followed a similar line to the line we follow with sex in our book Enjoy Sex (How, When and IF You Want To).

This week we answered a question about trauma and hookups on the podcast. A content note up front is that this episode does cover issues of sexual abuse/assault and trauma responses/PTSD. So if those things are live for you right now you might want to think about whether you want to listen or not. FYI we don’t go into any description of abuse or assault, we do have a bit more detail about possible trauma responses (fight, flight, and freeze) and what those can look like.

In this episode we explore how to go about having a hookup consensually, given that this has been in the headlines recently with the story about Aziz Ansari.

For this one we decided to take a leaf out awesome sex & relationships podcaster Dan Savage’s book and answer a few questions from listeners together on one show. Content warning: this episode begins with us singing our version of the Savage Lovecast theme song in an *ahem* beautiful homage to Dan Savage!

The podcast this time is all about how to make the festive season as consensual and self-caring as possible. http://megjohnandjustin.com/you/the-christmas-special