Taking Control: The Adhd Podcast

We all know the moment when we realize we’ve said “yes” too many times. Maybe it’s a blinking cursor. Maybe it’s a half-warm cup of coffee gone cold. Maybe it’s your third attempt to open the same email. But in that moment, something tilts: the awareness that saying yes to one thing has meant saying no to something else… and no one told your brain.This week on The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki crack open the economic principle of opportunity cost—not in the language of Wall Street, but in the tender, messy vocabulary of ADHD. What happens when our neurological defaults make the unseen costs of our choices invisible? When our brains are wired to chase novelty, to dodge rejection, and to overestimate time like it’s a limitless currency?Pete revisits the metaphor of the “red line”—a hard truth learned from a boss long ago, now a framework for managing finite energy with zero-based budgeting. Nikki unpacks how ADHD minds experience the psychic toll of every task: the emotional bandwidth, the recovery periods we ne

We tend to think of memory as a vault—something that, if built correctly, should always open on command. The vault metaphor is tidy, satisfying, and wrong. In truth, memory is more like a three-legged stool balanced precariously on a floor that shifts beneath us. For people with ADHD, that floor isn’t just shifting—it’s often crumbling. And still, we’re asked to sit perfectly still.This week, we’re joined by Dr. Daniella Karidi—executive coach, cognitive scientist, and founder of ADHDtime—for a conversation that reframes what we know about memory. She maps its steps—encoding, storage, retrieval—and then shows us exactly where, and why, those steps falter in the ADHD brain. What emerges is a picture of fragility—of a system doing its best under conditions for which it was never optimized.We explore working memory, the critical minute when new information is either transformed into long-term knowledge or simply lost to distraction. We talk about why prospective memory—remembering to do something in the future—i

In this episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki sit down with Dr. Dara Abraham—board-certified psychiatrist, women’s mental health expert, and founder of Dr. Dara Psychiatry—to explore the complicated and under-discussed relationship between ADHD and hormones.Dr. Dara walks us through the key hormonal transitions across the lifespan—puberty, pregnancy, postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause—and how each stage uniquely disrupts ADHD symptoms and medication effectiveness. She shares why estrogen is your brain’s best friend, how hormonal shifts wreak havoc on dopamine regulation, and why women are so often dismissed when seeking help. From the science of hormone replacement therapy to practical tips for self-advocacy and lifestyle support, this episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the double whammy of ADHD and hormonal change.Whether you’re struggling with brain fog, sleep disruptions, or medication that suddenly stopped working—there’s help, there’s hope, and Dr. Dara is here to

When you live with ADHD, you might be used to the mental whirlwind — the dopamine chases, the deadline surges, the exhaustion that follows. But for many, there’s a deeper and more insidious battle happening in the background: chronic illness. This week, Pete and Nikki welcome clinical naturopath and passionate advocate Jules Galloway to unpack the tangled web between ADHD, adrenal fatigue, autoimmune conditions, and the gut-brain connection.Drawing from her own experiences with late-diagnosed ADHD and years of working with neurodivergent clients, Jules explains how chronic stress and inflammation can alter the architecture of the brain, and how burnout isn’t just a buzzword — it’s often a physiological crisis. From cortisol testing and histamine intolerance to why so many ADHDers feel like they’re constantly “wired but tired,” this episode brings clarity and compassion to a deeply misunderstood intersection of mental and physical health.Jules also shares practical, empowering strategies for healing — from sta

What happens to ADHD when the scaffolds of career and parenting fade, and we’re left navigating a world that’s quieter, slower… and far less structured?This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki are joined by one of the most influential voices in ADHD research and advocacy: Dr. Kathleen Nadeau. An internationally recognized expert and the author of 14 books on ADHD, Kathleen is the founder and director of the Chesapeake Center—one of the largest private ADHD specialty clinics in the U.S. Her career has been defined by breaking new ground for underserved ADHD populations, and today she turns our attention to one of the most overlooked groups of all: older adults.Drawing on extensive research—including interviews with more than 150 individuals for her groundbreaking book Still Distracted After All These Years: Help and Support for Older Adults with ADHD—Kathleen guides us through the realities of aging with ADHD. She brings nuance, humor, and urgency to topics like isolation, structure loss,

GPS is Now Open! Visit https://takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and take control of your planning today!What if the relentless chase for productivity isn’t a sign of progress—but a trap?This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki return to the idea they began exploring with Dr. Ari Tuckman: the Productivity Trap—a psychological cul-de-sac where effort doesn’t equal accomplishment, and perfectionism becomes performance. But this isn’t just about missed deadlines or overloaded to-do lists. It’s about identity. About shame. About what it means to be “enough” in a world that rarely says you are.From a deceptively simple mantra—“You don’t have to be productive all the time”—springs a story of emotional reckoning. Pete recounts how Nikki’s offhand remark evolved into a viral merch moment, while Nikki shares coaching experiences that reveal the heartbreak (and humor) of managing ADHD in a culture obsessed with output. They dissect the nuance between urgent and important, spotlight how AI can s

It’s not that people with ADHD don’t want to be productive. It’s that they’re often trapped in a paradox: striving to do more, while silently blaming themselves for not doing enough. That tension—between internal ambition and external expectations—is the focus of this conversation with returning guest clinical psychologist Dr. Ari Tuckman.In this episode, Ari joins Pete and Nikki to explore the deep psychology of productivity, the social pressure to “look busy,” and the subtle ways perfectionism becomes a form of avoidance. Along the way, they discuss the myth of the perfect planner, why your to-do list is lying to you, and what happens when you finally admit you just don’t want to do the thing. With humor, heart, and a healthy dose of hard-earned insight, Ari introduces lessons from his new book, The ADHD Productivity Manual, revealing how managing productivity starts not with apps or alarms—but with radical honesty.Because the real challenge isn’t doing more—it’s knowing what matters enough to do at all.Lin

Imagine your brain as a control room. On most days, the switches flick and the dials turn just as they should. But then something small—an unanswered text, a missed deadline, a critical glance—trips the wrong lever. Suddenly, that control room is submerged. The signals blur. The system floods.This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki sit down with two returning champions of clarity and compassion: Dr. Sharon Saline and Dr. Dodge Rea. Together, they unravel the hidden mechanics of emotional flooding—not as a character flaw, but as a neurological response shaped by fear, history, and a sometimes-overzealous amygdala.Through stories, science, and metaphor (including rogue trains and Wile E. Coyote’s ill-fated cliff dives), they reveal what happens when the ADHD brain short-circuits under pressure—and what we can actually do about it. Along the way, you’ll learn how shame disguises itself as control, how the body signals what the mind can’t process, and why sometimes the most strategic thing y

There’s a moment—maybe you’ve lived it—when the email goes unanswered, the dishwasher remains unloaded, the phone rings but your hand doesn’t move. You’re not tired. You’re not lazy. You’re just… stuck.We call it overwhelm. But what if that word is too small? What if what you’re feeling is your brain's way of saying, This system is not working for me?In this episode of our Duos series, we bring together two people who have spent their careers listening to the quiet, misunderstood signals of ADHD: Dr. Tamara Rosier, author of Your Brain’s Not Broken and You, Me, and Our ADHD Family, and Brooke Schnittman, author of Activate Your ADHD Potential.Tamara talks about emotional flooding—those tidal waves of feeling that hit before a single task is done. Brooke explains how to pause just long enough to choose a different direction. Together, they unpack why ADHD-related overwhelm isn’t a sign of failure, but a clue. A trailhead. A door.Because maybe, just maybe, the problem isn’t that your brain is broken. Maybe it’s

Shame is a formidable force—an emotional wildfire that can either illuminate our path to growth or consume us in cycles of self-blame. For individuals with ADHD, this complex emotion is often amplified, lingering far beyond its utility as a corrective signal. But why? And more importantly, how do we break free?This week on The ADHD Podcast, hosts Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer embark on an exploration of shame spirals with two powerhouse guests: James Ochoa, LPC, renowned ADHD pathfinder and author of Focused Forward: Navigating the Storms of Adult ADHD, and Dr. Nachi Felt, an ADHD specialist and professor at Columbia University where he teaches Psychopathology and helps direct the Cognition and Neuroscience Research Lab.Together, they dissect the neurobiology of shame, its insidious tendency to hijack our presence of mind, and the ways in which ADHD uniquely intensifies its grip. James and Nachi offer profound insights into the role of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and the often-overlooked power of resourci

There’s an inflection point when technology shifts from novelty to necessity. The printing press. The telephone. The internet. And now, artificial intelligence. For those with ADHD, the rise of AI presents an especially tantalizing paradox: a tool that promises to sharpen focus and streamline tasks, yet one that, if wielded carelessly, could just as easily become another source of distraction.In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer take us into the heart of the paradox. They begin with a simple but profound question: How do we make AI work for us, rather than the other way around?It starts with a refresher on prompt engineering—the art of structuring AI queries with precision. It’s not unlike training a dog. Give vague instructions, and you’ll get unpredictable results. But with the right prompts, AI can become an invaluable assistant, distilling complex information, organizing thoughts, and even generating study guides.But then comes the tension. The unease. The creeping realization

Artificial intelligence is everywhere—shaping how we work, think, and even how we manage our ADHD. But is AI a game-changing cognitive assistant or just another digital white whale primed to swallow our focus whole?This week, Pete Wright and his AI-curious co-pilot Nikki Kinzer embark on tour of ADHD and AI. With AI tools evolving at a dizzying pace, the duo explores how these technologies can either empower or derail neurodivergent minds.Throughout the episode, they share some of the tools making waves in the ADHD community, from AI-powered task managers like Motion and Reclaim to text-based assistants like ChatGPT and Claude. They also unpack the critical distinction between AI as a thought partner versus an unreliable oracle—one that is often confidently wrong.But AI isn't just about efficiency. Pete and Nikki probe the philosophical and ethical dilemmas AI presents: Is AI truly augmenting human potential, or are we handing over too much cognitive agency to machines?Links & NotesSupport the Show on Pat

Friendship. It’s a word that evokes warmth, nostalgia, and—if we’re honest—a twinge of confusion. Because once upon a time, it was effortless. A shared lunch, a game of tag, and suddenly, a best friend was born. But then, something happened. Adulthood. And with it came the slow realization that making and keeping friends isn’t just harder—it’s an entirely different proposition.We've heard the lamentations before: Why is this so difficult? Why do friendships slip away? Why does it feel like rejection when it’s just… life? Enter Caroline Maguire. She is no stranger to the complexities of human connection. A coach, a teacher, and the award-winning author of Why Will No One Play with Me?, Caroline has made it her life’s work to decode the unspoken rules of friendship—especially for those with ADHD.Today, she returns to the podcast with answers and a roadmap. What if the secret to adult friendships isn’t just about finding the right people, but about understanding the invisible structures that hold relationships t

What if the very quality that makes those early, intoxicating moments of romance so vibrant—the spontaneous weekend getaway, the surprise bouquet of flowers—later becomes the source of relationship friction? The human brain, particularly one wired with ADHD, contains multitudes of contradictions, and nowhere is this more evident than in how impulsivity shapes our intimate partnerships.This week on the show, relationship expert Melissa Orlov peels back the layers of impulsive behavior in ADHD relationships with Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer. Pete's personal confession—renting a convertible for a romantic coastal drive during courtship, then later purchasing an entire car during what should have been a routine oil change—illuminates the Jekyll-and-Hyde nature of impulsivity that Melissa has observed in thousands of couples."It came from somewhere," Melissa notes of impulsive words and actions that wound our partners. But where? The answer lies in a neurological tightrope walk between present-moment reward and lo

Imagine two people standing on opposite sides of a canyon. One, tethered to the rhythms of neurotypical expectation—cause and effect, action and consequence—a world in which forgotten keys are just that: forgotten keys. The other, moving through a landscape of impulsivity, of fractured attention, of a thousand micro-failures that feel, at times, like an existential indictment. They love each other. They try to reach across the chasm. But the bridge they need is invisible.This week on The ADHD Podcast, Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer embark on a three-part exploration into ADHD and relationships. Their guide this first week: Jonathan Hassall, an ADHD and executive function coach with a background in psychiatric nursing and ADHD research. Jonathan has spent years decoding the paradoxes that arise when ADHD meets the relentless machinery of relationships.Why do partners of those with ADHD feel unheard? Why does an innocuous comment about condiments over lunch spiral into a silent war? Why do people with ADHD someti

ADHD doesn’t just complicate relationships—it shapes them. From romantic partnerships to friendships, family dynamics, and workplace interactions, the traits of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity ripple across every connection. Romantic relationships often bear the brunt, with ADHD symptoms leading to miscommunication, frustration, and even intimacy challenges. Couples may struggle with mismatched libidos, impulsive behaviors, or emotional dysregulation, but understanding ADHD’s role can transform these struggles into opportunities for deeper connection.Family and professional relationships, too, are affected. ADHD parents often wrestle with providing structure or consistent discipline, creating chaotic home environments that strain relationships with children and partners. At work, impulsivity, time management issues, and difficulty following through on commitments can complicate team dynamics and career growth. Socially, the ADHD brain’s challenges with focus and emotional regulation can lead to fe

Emotional dysregulation is one of ADHD’s most disruptive yet overlooked symptoms. It’s not just a passing mood or a fleeting frustration. For those with ADHD, emotions can spiral into sudden waves of intensity—anger, hurt, joy, or anxiety—seemingly out of nowhere. This week, Nikki and Pete explore the science and strategies behind this turbulent experience, offering insights to help listeners navigate its challenges.At its core, emotional dysregulation is the brain’s difficulty managing emotions effectively. The overactive amygdala—the emotional alarm center—reacts strongly, while the underactive prefrontal cortex struggles to rein it in. When dopamine levels are low, the prefrontal cortex can’t regulate the amygdala, resulting in overwhelming emotional reactions. These aren’t just limited to anger or sadness; moments of extreme joy, excitement, or frustration can also feel uncontainable.And then we have our dear friend, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a particularly painful form of emotional dysregulati

Why is making a decision sometimes the hardest thing in the world? For those with ADHD, the labyrinth of choices can feel impossibly complex. Each twist and turn demands attention and energy—resources that are already stretched thin. This week Nikki and Pete peel back the layers of decision-making through the ADHD lens, unraveling why such a seemingly simple act can feel like scaling a mountain.At the heart of it lies one of ADHD’s most challenging riddles: the executive functions. These are the mental tools we use to plan, prioritize, organize, and remember, but for those with ADHD, these tools often feel dull or misplaced. Enter the paradox of choice. Too many options? Paralysis. Too much time? Overthinking. Too little time? Impulsivity. Each scenario is riddled with traps.Decision-making with ADHD is an art, not a science. It’s messy, it’s nonlinear, and it requires flexibility and self-compassion. Join Nikki and Pete as they navigate this intricate process, offering insights, stories, and strategies to he

What happens when life throws you off course? The meeting runs late, the pipes freeze, or the day crumbles before it even begins. For most people, problem-solving is instinctive. For those with ADHD, however, it’s a far more complex process—one filled with creativity, frustration, and unpredictability.This week, Nikki and Pete explore the unique challenges and strengths of ADHD-powered problem-solving. The ADHD brain can shine in adversity, using creativity and hyperfocus to tackle unconventional problems. But it also struggles with all-or-nothing thinking, freezing under pressure, emotional overwhelm, and the need for more time to process situations.Nikki and Pete offer practical strategies to navigate these challenges. Start by clearly identifying the problem without spiraling into blame or “what-ifs.” Ask yourself: Is this my problem to solve? Often, the stress you carry isn’t yours to fix. Once you know the answer, reframe and readjust—communicate, prioritize, and take action, no matter how small.The epis

WARNING: This episode contains discussions of youth bullying and suicide.What does it mean to transform heartbreak into hope? For Tony and Cassi Bellezza, the loss of their son Anthony was not the end of his story—it was the beginning of a mission. Anthony, a vibrant and compassionate child who lived with ADHD, inspired those around him with his unique ability to see the world through a lens of kindness. But his journey wasn’t without challenges: navigating school accommodations, transitioning between educational systems, facing bullying, and finding outlets for his passions.In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, hosts Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright sit down with Tony and Cassi to explore the roots of Anthony’s Way - The Road to Kindness, the non-profit they founded to honor their son. They discuss how Anthony’s struggle—and his empathy—became the foundation for a program designed to help children and teens with ADHD not just survive, but thrive.From the challenges of private school 504 plans to the life-changing