Synopsis
Dementia By Day is a blog and—now—podcast by Rachael Wonderlin. Rachael tackles common challenges in dementia caregiving and seeks to make everyone a better care partner by promoting education and empathy. Rachael has a Master's in Gerontology and owns a dementia care consulting company. She is the author of "When Someone You Know is Living in a Dementia Care Community," published by Johns Hopkins University Press.
Episodes
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All-Star Episode: What ambigious loss is and why you're feeling it
14/11/2022 Duration: 19minHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what ambiguous loss really is and why it's important to understand that term, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7B7ZyiIXasASgpr5x8aRjr?si=457fbac766204064
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All-Star Episode: Activities every care partner needs to know
07/11/2022 Duration: 18minHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on the activities every care partner needs to know, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5Adel19p1zobAviPhYe9kp?si=a1f237f731854158
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All-Star Episode: How my 16 Things poem almost disappeared
31/10/2022 Duration: 36minHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on how my 16 Things poem almost disappeared. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/29Bpczs4F8h7MYPSFKKX4n?si=6f28362a35ea4c40
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All-Star Episode: The 3 questions you need in dementia caregiving
24/10/2022 Duration: 15minHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what the 3 questions you need to ask in dementia caregiving, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1OGmLJ14bXfsOh2FvxrpOK?si=869d8aa2a97b473a
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All-Star Episode: "What is Timeline Confusion™"
17/10/2022 Duration: 16minHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what Timeline Confusion™ really is, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Von9LSEFepzXDz3fAgtVQ?si=1f316cdee4934319
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All-Star Episode: "What it really means to Embrace Their Reality™"
10/10/2022 Duration: 20minHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what it really means to Embrace Their Reality™, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3jLYiH1rtrjKXWTbxwX9Rw?si=5180132830cb4016
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All-Star Episode: "#1 reason a routine is going to save you drama"
03/10/2022 Duration: 19minHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on the #1 reason a routine will save you some drama, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0gGandwz6bRB3y2ZXWd5Eq
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All-Star Episode: "The 3 worst move-ins I've ever seen"
26/09/2022 Duration: 17minHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on the worst move-ins, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/32OdyMLRFTF52NZ0jUOHHW
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All-Star Episode: "When can I go home?"
19/09/2022 Duration: 20minHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on answering the question of going home, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1eevWRMMGZ4T8zH1XOo3cF
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All-Star Episode: What is mini-reorientation?
12/09/2022 Duration: 19minHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on mini-reorientation in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/55TUmpAZ433bVedZsUipzf
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"What do I say when she says she 'wants to go home'?"
28/02/2022 Duration: 10minHey guys, this is our last episode of season 4! Thank you for joining me on this journey. “Wanting to go home” is a really common phrase for people living with dementia. ‘Home’ is not so much a place as it is a feeling. I’m sure you can relate to this. What we don’t want to do is try to convince a person living with dementia that they are already home. Instead, let’s focus on the ‘what’ behind the feeling. The feeling may be that they don’t feel sure, or that they are scared, and just need to be in a place where they are comfortable. Stay for the entirety of this episode for some tips and advice on this issue! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
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"How do I stop her from doing this annoying thing she's doing?"
21/02/2022 Duration: 10minI had many people reaching out to me on Instagram asking about their loved ones doing different kinds of annoying things. The bottom line is, you may not be able to get them to stop doing these things, at least not completely. Eventually, they will stop doing it, but that would also mean that they have progressed in their dementia. What we can do is try to solve for what the underlying issue is, which is what is causing this person to act this way in the first place? Join me in this episode as I share some stories that may help answer this question! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
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"Why does he sleep so much?"
14/02/2022 Duration: 09minI hear this one a lot. This is typically indicative of someone advancing in their dementia. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is in the late stages of their dementia; it could be a result of a lot of causes. It could also mean that the patient is dealing with some depression or that they are taking some medication that makes them sleepy. Once we rule out the other variables, we do need to consider that their dementia has progressed. We need to be aware of this and not fight it so hard. Stay for the entirety of this episode for some insight on this! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
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"How do I involve my spouse in our life, even though they have dementia?"
07/02/2022 Duration: 10minI hear some versions of this question pretty frequently. Having a spouse living with dementia is completely different from having a parent with dementia. The inherent difference in the relationship is what makes it difficult. The biggest challenge is that previously, this person used to make decisions together with you, and now it’s all up to you. So, how do you keep them involved when they really can’t offer too much on a lot of issues? I have a few tips on this, so be sure to tune in and learn more about how to navigate this! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
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"Why is he suddenly incontinent?”
31/01/2022 Duration: 09minIncontinence is actually a big reason why a care partner may choose to initiate a move to dementia care. Aside from the fact that it’s an embarrassing issue, it can also turn into a big problem because for some care partners, it may begin suddenly. The truth of the matter is, there’s no official timeline for incontinence, so there’s no way of telling when (or if) your loved one will be dealing with this issue. Luckily, more and more adult briefs are becoming normalized in the world of aging in general; and I really appreciate that because it alleviates the stigma around this issue. Stay for the entirety of this episode for some advice on how to deal with this delicate situation. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
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"How do I convince dad that he has dementia?"
24/01/2022 Duration: 09minLike I’ve said in past episodes: we can’t convince people living with dementia of anything that’s not in their reality. So, bad news if you are trying to convince them that they have dementia. Here’s my argument – why would you WANT to? Even if you convince them for a couple of hours that they have dementia, what happens the next day? Are you going to re-convince them? If a person has forgotten that they have a disease, why would we want to remind them? This goes for similar reminders, like taking them to the cemetery or showing them obituaries. Just. don’t. Stay for the entirety of this episode for some tips and advice on this issue. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
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"Where's the 'line' when it comes to 'lying?’ What IS Embracing Their Reality™?"
17/01/2022 Duration: 10minWhat’s the difference between lying and Embracing their Reality? I keep hearing people using this phrase incorrectly. There are a lot of people who consider themselves experts in dementia care communication and they are still telling everybody the same thing that you’ve been hearing for years: Validation, Redirection, Distraction. And that’s NOT Embracing their Reality™. It’s also not lying when you are doing what’s true for THEM. Stay for the entirety of this episode where I break down the difference between these two dementia care approaches. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
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"How do I take over finances when they feel they can still do it, even though I know they can’t?"
10/01/2022 Duration: 10minAs you probably know by now, you are not going to be able to convince the person living with dementia that they are no longer capable of handling their own finances. One of the main things that people will hold on to with all their might is money. No one wants to feel like somebody else is taking control of their financial affairs. But when you are living with dementia and things are being taken away from you, it can be even more overwhelming. Remember, dementia is not an ask-for-permission group of diseases: You are going to have to take control. Tune in to learn more about how to navigate this! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
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"What if I say the wrong thing?"
03/01/2022 Duration: 10min“What if at some point I say something that completely confuses the person living with dementia? Should I really do this Embracing their reality thing, because what if I embrace the wrong reality and then they get upset?” Here’s the real deal: you are 100% going to say something you shouldn’t have said. We’ve all done it. Especially if this person is living with you and you spend a lot of time together. I have a few stories related to this subject, so join me in this episode for some tips on how to deal with it! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
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“How do I know if I’m getting burned out?”
27/12/2021 Duration: 10minThis is a great question! But, unfortunately, this is a question that most caregivers don’t ask until they are deeply burned out. Sometimes people don’t give themselves enough space and time to take care of their own things. Actually, I used to be that kind of person until I got more serious in hiring other people to help me with my business because I realized that I can’t do everything myself. When it comes to taking care of a person living with dementia, the same thing goes – you can’t handle it all by yourself; especially when the person living with dementia starts needing more and more help. Stay for the entirety of this episode for some tips and advice on how to avoid burnout! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.