Dementia By Day

This is what you’re going to do when you’re deciding to make— or not make— a change to your loved one’s care. Should you make this change, especially if it's drastic? The answer is ultimately, “It depends.”  It depends on the person and how much their quality of life would improve (benefit) for the inconvenience, or even trauma, it would cause (cost). Let’s weigh the cost against the benefits in a specific example and talk about how there’s no “right” answer. Ultimately, you can only the best you can do for your loved one, and writing out the cost and benefits in two columns can help you figure out how to move forward with the right decision for your loved one.

Even if you move your loved one to a dementia care community, you are still their caregiver, the person who is responsible for them. Though the responsibilities may shift, the "buck stops with you," as the expression goes. Let's talk about it.

What is a "sitter" and does your loved one living with dementia need one? Let's talk about it. In this episode, Rachael breaks down considerations you should make when weighing whether or not to hire a sitter for your loved one living with dementia. She discusses options that are worth trying first before resorting to hiring a sitter, and cases in which a sitter is likely the best next step for your loved one. In this bite-sized episode, Rachael also discusses what to do if your loved one lives in an assisted living community and the community suggests a sitter. Let's dive in!

After 45 happy years together, Janice noticed that her life partner Sue had begun to repeat herself. "What do you want for dinner?" she'd ask. Then, a few minutes later, she'd say again, "What do you want for dinner?" As it turns out, Sue has Alzheimer's. Janice and Sue were recently featured in Matter of Mind, a PBS documentary that follows three pairs of caregivers and their loved ones living with Alzheimer's.   From diagnosis to getting help while caring for Susan at home, listen in on our conversation with Janice as she tells us all about her journey as a caregiver.   Stream the documentary, Matter of Mind, here: https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/documentaries/matter-of-mind-my-alzheimers/

Whether you live with your loved one with dementia or you visit them in a care community, your time together will probably be most enjoyable if you bring an activity with you for the two of you to do together. This is a great way for you to connect with your loved one! I suggest simple, everyday activities like folding, sorting, or games like finishing lyrics (filling in the blank to famous songs they know). 

"They seem fine!" This is the refrain of the folks we at Dementia By Day refer to as the "out-of-towners." The out-of-towners think they know best and they are very vocal about the care they believe your loved one should receive, but in reality, they are out of touch with what it's like caring for someone living with dementia.  If you have out-of-towners in your life, we hope you find this tip helpful for how to handle your next conversation with them, and we hope you find comfort in knowing you are not alone in dealing with these kinds of situations as a caregiver.

People often ask me how to break the news to their loved one living with dementia that they will be moving to a dementia care community. We NEVER want to say something like, "Mom, we are moving you to dementia care because there is something wrong with your brain," and we especially don't want to add, "remember?!" when they ask about what's going on for the second (or tenth) time.  People living with dementia can't make this decision for themselves and they are usually not aware of their condition (anosognosia), so telling them something like the above is not going to go well. Instead of starting an argument that is sure to upset all sides, try my 3-prong approach to get your loved one to move to dementia care calmly.

My #1 piece of advice when it comes to hospice: Look into it before you think it's time. Don't wait too long, because it's an invaluable resource for people living with dementia and their families.  Listen to learn how someone living with dementia might qualify for hospice.

For family caregivers of people living with dementia, the offerings of the senior living landscape can be super confusing. In this mini episode of the Dementia By Day Podcast, Rachael Wonderlin introduces some of the most common types of care offered in senior living, and explains how these designations can vary widely not only from country to country, but even state to state domestically in the US.

Back when Rachael first started posting content about caring for people with dementia, there were very few people inhabiting this same niche on the internet. Now, there are more and more cropping up every day. In this mini podcast episode, Rachael talks about the importance of double-checking the information you come across on the internet when it comes to caring for your loved one with dementia.

Nomenclature is so important. Listen to why I hate the phrases "therapeutic lying," "fiblets," and "white lies." Embracing Their Reality™️ is about doing what's true for the person living with dementia, NOT lying.

In this mini episode, Dementia By Day CEO Rachael Wonderlin talks about Naomi Feil's Validation Theory for communicating with people living with dementia. Validation Theory contrasts directly with Embracing Their Reality™️ because it teaches to "never lie" to someone living with dementia, and often suggests avoiding certain lines of questioning instead. For example, if someone with dementia asks "Where's my mom?" Validation teaches to answer the person with dementia like this: "It sounds like you miss your mom." This doesn't solve the emotional problem the person with dementia is experiencing.  Rachael also discusses the often lesser-known aspects of Validation Theory, which are surprisingly Freudian in nature.

Listen to this mini podcast episode to learn the fundamentals of Timeline Confusion™️. A common misconception about people living with dementia is that they "don't recognize" their loved ones. In reality, people living with dementia aren't living on a linear timeline. This means that if they believe they themselves are 40, they may not understand why their adult child is older than them (as an example), and have trouble placing loved ones on their timeline. 

Welcome to our Mini Podcast season! These are unedited, super short episodes we created for our Patreon audience last year. Now they're available for you to enjoy! When we spot people posting things like this, they're really taking facts out of context...and typically new to the industry or running out of good content to post! Here's why this doesn't make sense: - Dementia is made up of over 100 different diseases - Many diseases (read: nearly every single disease) has some genetic component - Bad luck is real: you can live a perfectly healthy lifestyle and make all the "right" choices and STILL GET DEMENTIA - Avoiding sugar or whatever all the nonsense, so-called health accounts online these days tell you is NOT a sure-fire way to prevent dementia - Accidents happen: a bad fall, a concussion or a car accident could have an effect on someone's cognitive health

This is the first and only episode of my Mini Podcast series that we'll be uploading to public channels! Want more? Visit our Patreon and sign up for only $5 a month to hear more of these episodes, dropping weekly on our channel!  Join today!

Hello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on how to convice dad he has dementia, in 2023. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6YlmWGpFbPHeHuayHefNcA?si=ec729d0f0cf643fb

Hello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what if you say the wrong thing, in 2023. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6EtGXt3VpPIoFWqEcZFqU4?si=cc50503d92dc4b73

Hello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on when to move her into memory care, in 2023. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2kG9QALP4fmZeFq9BKoYOr?si=62b526718c394d17

Hello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on why he is having trouble speaking, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Wk9afwKx2ZBq2CqOR0SsY?si=5ba23b924ddb4e67

Hello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on how you can convince your brother to let you move mom, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7CShiPrWg7xm3vcQdMUeMb?si=55fb5ff5ce904948