Sexology

Welcome to episode 98 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Beth Luwandi Lofstrom who speaks to me about surviving infidelity as the offender, the process of disclosure and how that impacts the partner and recommendations for offenders to get themselves unstuck.     Beth Luwandi Lofstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Cincinnati, Ohio where her specialty areas are love and loss. She treats couples and individuals healing from infidelity and other relationship wounds. Her Whole Human Theory(TM), an approach based on brain science and methods research, also includes personality assessment to effectively confront variations in individual motivation, processing, communication, and inner world. In this way, Whole Human Theory presents an approach that gets to the core of issues in a highly efficient manner and moves people forward as quickly as possible.    Her book, After the Affair, Healing for the Offender uses this unique perspective to treat infidel

Welcome to episode 97 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller who talks to us about sexual fantasies, the influence culture has in this area and understanding the difference between sexual fantasy and sexual desire.     Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Purdue University. He is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar who has published more than 40 pieces of academic writing to date, including a textbook entitled The Psychology of Human Sexuality (now in its second edition) that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller's research focuses on topics including ca

Welcome to episode 96 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Melissa Novak who speaks to us about the underlying issues around sexual performance anxiety, the way in which our western culture exacerbates this issue and learning to be honest with your partner about your sexual desires and needs.    Melissa Novak a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and Certified Sex Therapist, specializing in the treatment of sexual dysfunction, personality disorders as well as depression and anxiety-related disorders.  She specializes in working with adults, and couples on a variety of issues such as sexual dysfunction, depression, anxiety, OCD, and PTSD. Melissa has a particular interest in working with those struggling with sexual dysfunction and those concerned about some aspect of their sexual behavior.     In addition to providing individual therapy, Melissa serves as an educator and supervisor within the Chicagoland community and currently teaches as an adjunct professor at the Univers

Welcome to episode 95 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Jordan Rawlins and F.C Brandt who speak to me about their new book E Is For Erotica, the exploration of open and non-monogamous relationships and how our relationships are continually evolving.     Jordan Rawlins is a Southern California native who made a living as a poker player, stuntman, actor and trained as a magician, before finding his place as a writer. His children's movie, “Rescue Dogs,” opened in theaters nationwide in 2016. He was a semi-finalist for the 2018 Academy Nicholl Fellowship. On the digital front, he has worked with Maker Studios and Defy Studios on various projects. In 2018 he worked with WBTV and Amore and Vita on a new half-hour series. A playwright, his stage plays have been seen in theaters across America and in London. He has numerous projects for the big and small screen in various stages of development. He is the author of the novel "Monsters of the Apocalypse" and the comedy Alpha

  Welcome to episode 94 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Chanta Blue who speaks to us about what the life of a swinger entails, why she became interested in working with this community and is the stigma attached to swingers changing?    Chanta Blue is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Sex Therapist and co-owner of Blue Counseling & Wellness Center in Montclair, NJ. She holds a B.A. in Psychology from Spelman College, a Master’s degree in Social Work from Rutgers University, and a Master’s of Education in Human Sexuality from Widener University. Chanta’s aim is to empower girls and women of color to clarify and create the career, relationships, sexuality, and overall lifestyle they desire.     She specializes in issues related to anxiety, depression, self-esteem, body image and works with folks in various relationship styles including polyamory, swinging, kink, and traditional relationships.    In this episode, you will hear:     What does the sw

Welcome to episode 93 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Eva Smidova, M.A., PhDr., LMFT who speaks to me about common themes around coming out as transgender, the difference between gender identity and sexual identity and when is a good time to come out to your partner as transgender?     Eva Smidova, M.A., PhDr., LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Florida, Transgender Care Certified Therapist, Board Certified Hypnotherapist, Florida Department of Children and Family approved Parenting Care Provider. She holds EU earned degrees M.A. in Psychology and Law, and PhDr. in Clinical Psychology. She recently finished her PhD. in Family Therapy at Nova Southeastern University, Fort Lauderdale.    Eva was born in former Czechoslovakia so rebelling and craving for diversity and freedom are in her DNA. Eva worked in international business and got the opportunity to become familiar with many countries around the world. Before she moved to Florida, she became a resident

Welcome to episode 92 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to welcome back Dr. Ari Tuckman who speaks to us about jealousy, the need for open and understanding communication around this issue and steps couples can do to help manage jealousy.     Dr. Ari Tuckman is a psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist based in West Chester, PA. He writes the Sex Matters blog on PsychologyToday.com.     He has given more than 350 presentations across America and in nine other countries.     He also specializes in diagnosing and treating ADHD and recently finished his fourth book, based on research he completed on the relationship and sexual satisfactions of couples where one partner has ADHD.     In this episode, you will hear:     Whose job is it to talk about and address jealousy?   The need for open and understanding communication when it comes to jealousy   Ways the offender of jealousy can reassure their partner   Behaviours to look out for when you might be feeling jealous   What

Welcome to episode 91 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Charlie Glickman PhD, who speaks to us about somatic sexual healing, the experiential practices he uses with his clients and sexual surrogacy; the misconceptions and reality of what actually happens.     Charlie Glickman PhD is a sex & relationship coach, a sexuality educator, a sexological bodyworker, and an internationally-acclaimed speaker. He’s been working in this field for over 25 years, and some of his areas of focus include sex & shame, sex-positivity, queer issues, masculinity & gender, communities of erotic affiliation, and many sexual & relationship practices.     Charlie is also the co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners.     Welcome to episode 91 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Charlie Glickman PhD, who speaks to me about somatic sexual healing, the experiential practices he uses with his clients a

Welcome to episode 90 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb who speaks to me about what adult age play entails, how shame and embarrassment surround this issue and how a lack of nurturing at a young age could play into this issue.     Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb has been counseling individuals and couples in the area of human sexuality for over 25 years. She received her PhD in clinical sexology from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists in Orlando, FL.    She is an AASECT certified sex therapist in private practice specializing in the alternative sexuality communities, such as open relationships, ABDL, GLBT, BDSM, kink and fetishes. She wrote her doctoral dissertation on the mental health experience of ABDL individuals, specializes in therapy for this community and speaks on the subject to help promote better understanding for individuals and their families.     Her approach to therapy is helping people to understand, accept and appreciate their sexuality

Welcome to episode 89 of the Sexology Podcast, today we talk about the issue of low desire and the steps you can take to improve your sex life even if you have low desire.     In this episode, you will hear:     The common factors that contribute to low libido  Understanding whether your issue is more psychological or physiological   How relationship issues affect low desire   Understanding that sex is not perfect and that it’s ok not to be on your A-game every time you have sex  Learning to create an erotic environment   Communicating these issues as a couple and learning how to help each other    Resources  http://www.sexologypodcast.com  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasis2care      Podcast produced by Pete Bailey - https://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 88 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to welcome back Steve Bodansky (he was a guest on episode 59) to the podcast, this time Steve speaks to me about his new book Love and Alzheimer’s, the changes that Steve and his wife Vera went through after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and recommendation’s for couples struggling to deal with Alzheimer’s.     Steve Bodansky together with his wife Vera have been teachers of Sensuality for the past 35 years. They met in 1980 and were married in 1983. Steve received a Master’s in Molecular Biology at SUNY at Albany in 1979 and a Doctorate at More University in Sensuality in 1992 with an emphasis on female orgasm. He first studied and then taught at More U. thru 1992. Vera started doing one-hour orgasms demonstrations in 1980 and also received her doctorate in Sensual studies in 1992.     Steve became certified to do these demonstrations in 1987. They developed another orgasm school in 1992 after leaving Morehouse called The Wel

Welcome to episode 87 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m joined by Sonalee Rashatwar who talks to us about the concept of sexual colonization and what it means, the ways in which sexuality and low desire can be affected by the societal demands of needing to have “the perfect body” and what we can do to create more body inclusive sex education.   Sonalee Rashatwar (she/they), MSW, LCSW, MEd is an award-winning social worker, sex therapist, adjunct lecturer, and grassroots organizer. Based in Philly, she is a fat queer nonbinary therapist working as a sexual violence crisis counselor, specializing in treating sexual trauma, body image issues, racial or immigrant identity issues, and South Asian family systems, while offering fat and body positive sexual healthcare.   Popularly known as TheFatSexTherapist on Instagram, their fame hit an all time high when they were featured on Breitbart in March 2018 for naming thinness as a white supremacist beauty ideal. Sonalee is a sought-after speaker who travels nationally

Welcome to episode 86 of the Sexology Podcast, today we talk about a listener’s email around the subject of masturbation and why her husband still feels the need to masturbate whilst in a marriage.      In this episode, you will hear:     How wanting to have separate fantasies away from the relationship can lead to more masturbation   The stigma around this issue, studies have shown very few women know their partners masturbate frequently   Why sexual boredom can increase masturbation frequency   How masturbation can be used as a self-regulator for relief   Understanding that this is a very common issue, but there is currently limited studies and data to know more   Steps that can be taken to address this issue     Resources  http://www.sexologypodcast.com  https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2014.958790 https://site.themarriagebed.com/sexuality/masturbation/solo-masturbation-in-marriage/ https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care  

Welcome to episode 85 of the Sexology Podcast! Today, we are joined by Midori who talks to us about how she began her journey into sex education, learning to add new elements to your sex life gradually and recommendations to express power exchanges in the bedroom.    Midori is a renowned sexuality educator, author, and artist based in San Francisco. She emerged from the Sex Positive Movement in San Francisco in the early 1990’s, soon becoming a much sought-after international presenter on sexuality, personal fulfilment, and kinky adventures.    Her reputation as an authority and leading expert on alternative pleasures stem not only from her unique and entertaining process of teaching concrete skills but in her ability to deconstruct and distil complex matters of desire into surprisingly accessible lessons with eloquence and humanity. She’s known for tackling challenging topics with fresh and relevant insights. She calls this her “head-heart-hands” method to create a space where people are allowed ind

Welcome to episode 84 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m joined by Timothy Wienecke who talks to us about the way in which masculine identity gets tied into military service, how masculinity can manifest in positive and negative ways and the importance for veterans to work with their partners to overcome these issues.   Timothy Wienecke has spent the last decade training and educating in a variety of settings on a broad range of topics. He got started as a primary trainer for various technical positions as a Signals Analyst working with the NSA. That is where he realized he enjoys giving people the skills and knowledge they need to be effective in the places that are important to them. Timothy's command noticed his passion and tapped him for a more delicate and difficult task to be a primary trainer for the Air Force’s Bystander Intervention program. There he spent the next three years training over 3000 Airmen how to notice and engage effectively to stop harassment and sexual assault before it happens. I

Welcome to episode 83 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m joined by Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D., L.M.F.T. who talks to us about the common misconceptions about intimacy after recovery, the difference between healthy sex and addictive sex and incorporating your values into your sexuality.     Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D., L.M.F.T. is Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, Senior Fellow at The Meadows, faculty for the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals, and the recipient of the 2018 IITAP Leadership and 2012 Carnes Award. She is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist/Supervisor and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist/Supervisor specializing in the treatment of sexual addiction and other sexual disorders.     Dr. Katehakis is author of Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan (2018), Sex Addiction As Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment (2016), co-author of the 2015 AASECT awa

Welcome to episode 82 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m joined by Christine Macinnis who speaks to me about she became interested in working with transgender people, the best ways and practices we can all support transgender people and the issues they face when coming out.    Due to over 20 years working in local schools as a school counselor, Christine brings a unique perspective to her work in private practice. She loves assisting the adolescent through the trials of depression, anxiety, school and learning issues, gender and sexual identity confusion, and the adjustment to college and launching from their family.     In addition to her work with teenagers, Christine has a passion for the challenges and celebration of sexual and gender identity for all age groups. As a Certified LGBT-Affirmative Psychotherapy Provider, she has supported several transgender clients and families as they progress through the process of transition and acceptance. In terms of support outside of our sessions, Christine

Welcome to episode 81 of the Sexology Podcast, today is a solo episode where I’m going to share some personal and revealing stories about my own experience with sex therapists.     In this episode, you will hear:     How difficulties with sex affected a previous relationship   The ways in which this led to seeking out sex therapy   The difference between sex therapy, sex educator, sex surrogate and sex coaches   How our educational systems lack good information on sex   The need for patients to understand what it is they want to work on   Understanding what can get in the way psychologically to stop you experiencing pleasure   How it’s ok to receive sex therapy as a couple or on your own   Knowing how to choose the right sex therapist for you     Resources  https://oasis2care.clientsecure.me/client_portal   https://oasis2care.com/torrance/find-right-therapist-los-angeles-ca/  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care   https://www.instagram.com/oasis2care   https://twitter.com/oasi

Welcome to episode 81 of the Sexology Podcast, I’m delighted to welcome back Dr. Ari Tuckman who joined me on episode 79. In this episode, we talk about the fidelity agreement, how technology is changing our fidelity agreement and what gets in the way of having these conversations?    Dr. Ari Tuckman is a psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist based in West Chester, PA. He writes the Sex Matters blog on PsychologyToday.com.     He has given more than 350 presentations across America and in nine other countries.     He also specializes in diagnosing and treating ADHD and recently finished his fourth book, based on research he completed on the relationship and sexual satisfactions of couples where one partner has ADHD.     In this episode, you will hear:     What is a fidelity agreement?  How what is considered cheating for some couples, isn’t for others   The need for independence on your thoughts and desires   How is technology evolving our fidelity agreement?  Making a sustainabl

Welcome to episode 79 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Dr. Ari Tuckman who talks to us about Teledildonics, the common ways people use this technology and what the future will hold as this technology continues to grow.     Dr. Ari Tuckman is a psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist based in West Chester, PA. He writes the Sex Matters blog on PsychologyToday.com.     He has given more than 350 presentations across America and in nine other countries.     He also specializes in diagnosing and treating ADHD and recently finished his fourth book, based on research he completed on the relationship and sexual satisfactions of couples where one partner has ADHD.     In this episode, you will hear:     What does Teledildonic mean?  The huge variety of technology for remote sex where tactile sensations that’s now available   How Teledildonics could help prevent cheating   The common ways people use this technology   Ways in which to incorporate Teledildonic to increase novelty in