Sexology

  Welcome to episode 157 of the Sexology Podcast! Today it’s my pleasure to welcome Xanet Pailet to the podcast. In this episode Xanet speaks to me about she overcame a sexless marriage, looking at the barriers of sexual shame and taking the power back over arousal.   Xanet Pailet is the best-selling author of Living an Orgasmic Life. Xanet is a recovered NYC health care lawyer who lived in a sexless marriage for over two decades.  After experiencing her own sexual healing and awakening in 2011, she transitioned her career into a full-time sex and intimacy educator and coach.       Xanet believes that pleasure is our birthright and she is passionate about helping women and men find their way back into their bodies, their desires, and their pleasure.  Xanet works with couples who are in sexless marriages and women who have experienced abuse and trauma. She helps them heal their wounds, release their shame, and reconnect with their sexuality.      Xanet is a certified Somatica Sex and Intimacy Coach

  Welcome to episode 156 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Dr. JoAnna Nguyen to the podcast. In this episode Dr. Nguyen speaks to me about labia surgery, why people have the surgery, how common it is and looking at the process of the surgery.     Dr. JoAnna Nguyen is a board-certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon in Los Angeles, California, with expertise in all fields of plastic surgery, including aesthetic, reconstructive, pediatric, hand, and burn surgery.  She has a particular interest in aesthetic surgery of the eyes and face, breast surgery and labiaplasty. Dr. Nguyen is also passionate about skincare and has extensive experience with non-surgical treatments such as lasers, peels, and topical treatments.      Dr. Nguyen was born and raised in beautiful Southern California. Spoiled by the perennial sunny weather in Huntington Beach, her curiosity for the seasons led her to the the East Coast, where she attended Boston University. There she graduated Summa Cum Laude wi

Welcome to episode 155 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m excited to welcome Fiona O'Farrell to the podcast. In this episode Fiona speaks with me about paper dolls, how they can be used as a vehicle for self-pleasure and understanding you can still be sexual when not reproductive.     Fiona O'Farrell is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Sex Educator and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. In her practice, she works with clients on issues relating to sexual identity, dismantling sex negative messages, and enhancing pleasure and intimacy.     She is the coordinator of the Sexuality Therapy and Sex Education Certificate Programs at Antioch University in Seattle and teaches classes in human sexuality, sex therapy, and relationship therapy. Fiona is dedicated to expanding sex ed resources to be inclusive of body diversity and challenge binary thinking.    In This Episode You Will Hear:     How paper dolls allows for diversity   Having many options available as an add-on  Using pap

Welcome to episode 154 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Amy C. Moors, Ph.D to the podcast. In this episode, Amy speaks with me about consensual non-monogamy, looking at the quality of attachment, and recommendations for how to deal with minority stress.     Amy C. Moors, Ph.D., is an Assistant Professor of Psychology at Chapman University and a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. She also serves as the co-chair of the American Psychological Association’s Division 44 Consensual Non-Monogamy Task Force. Prior to joining Chapman, she was the Director of the Social Science Research and Evaluation Program in the College of Engineering at Purdue University. She is an interdisciplinary researcher with backgrounds in psychology and women’s studies (Ph.D., University of Michigan), higher education (postdoctoral fellow, National Center for Institutional Diversity) and social science evaluation (researcher, University of Michigan's ADVANCE Program).     Dr. Mo

Welcome to episode 153 of the Sexology Podcast! Today it is my pleasure to welcome Dr. Alison Ash to the podcast. In this episode she speaks with me about the art and science of seduction, differentiating between friendliness and flirting, and how anyone can develop seduction skills.    Dr. Alison Ash is a sex and intimacy coach and educator, lecturer at Stanford University, author, and founder of TurnON.love. As a sociologist with a PhD from Stanford, Aly has a comprehensive understanding of the complex societal challenges that often lead to unsatisfying and disempowering sexual experiences.     Aly designs workshops and retreats and offers individuals and couples coaching to give others the tools to discover their desires and confidently pursue them.     In This Episode You Will Hear:     How Alison began working in sex education   Differentiating between friendliness and flirting   Mistakes people often make when flirting   Learning to seduce yourself   Looking at sleaze free seduc

Welcome to episode 152 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Dr. Shannon Chavez to the podcast. In this episode she speaks with me about casual sex, how to best use dating sites like Tinder and emotionally preparing yourself for casual sex.     Dr. Chavez is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with a private practice, SHAPE (Sexual Health and Pleasure Enhancement) Center in Beverly Hills, California where she provides individual and couples therapy, sex and relationship coaching, and workshops on sexual health and wellness.     Her work focuses on adult sex education, integrating sexuality and spirituality, and sexual discovery towards personal growth. She frequently appears on national news, radio, and media as a sexual health expert.    In This Episode You Will Hear:     Limiting ideas that get in the way of women having casual sex  The importance of exploration and having fun  Learning to verbalize your wants and needs   How having c

  Welcome to episode 151 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m excited to welcome Shane Birkel to the podcast. In this episode he speaks with me about relationship challenges that affect sexual function, how excitement lessens as bonds deepen and ways in which we can assess ourselves in this situation.     Shane Birkel is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice near Boston. He works primarily with couples and is a certified Relational Life Therapist with Terry Real as his mentor.     Shane hosts a weekly podcast called the Couples Therapist Couch that is all about the practice of Couples Therapy. He is the creator of the Couples Therapist Inner Circle which is a membership site supporting therapists in their work with couples.    In This Episode You Will Hear:     Relational challenges that affect sexual function   How many people don’t realize the negative habits they have that will impact sex in a relationship   Looking at overdependence on our partners for how we

Welcome to episode 150 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am joined by Dr. Robert Glover. In this episode we discuss the Nice Guy Syndrome, the issues nice guys have around sex, and the ways they can change things inside and outside the bedroom.     Dr. Robert Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome and author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications. Through his book, online classes, workshops, podcasts, blogs, consultation, and therapy groups, Dr. Glover has helped change the lives of countless men and women around the world.     As a result of his work, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of Nice Guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males. Along with these personal changes have come similar transformations in these men's professional careers and intimate relationships.    Dr

Welcome to episode 149 of the Sexology Podcast! Today it’s my pleasure to welcome Dr. Tammy Nelson to the podcast. In this episode she speaks with me about sexual boredom, contributing factors as to why people cheat, and the concept of new monogamy.     Tammy Nelson, Ph.D. is a Board Certified Sexologist and Certified Sex Therapist as well as a  Relationship Therapist and author of several books for couples including Getting the Sex You Want, The New Monogamy, When You're the One Who Cheated,  and the upcoming Integrative Sex and Couples Therapy due out in March.     She is the Director and Founder of the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute in Washington DC., a training Institute, and Think Tank focused on obtaining and creating sustainable relationships. She is also an expert consultant for Ashley Madison, an online dating site for married people. She has been featured in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Business Insider, Time Magazine, and is the host of a popular podcast, The Trouble wit

Welcome to episode 148 of the Sexology Podcast! Today’s episode is a solo episode during which I will respond to listeners’ pre-recorded questions. Here are the questions that I will answer in this episode: Why do so many women have spanking fantasies? How common are BDSM fantasies? How hard should a “normal” erection be? How do I know if I am “hard enough”? What do I do if I can’t get “hard enough”? How can you get your partner to initiate sex more often? How do you ask your partner to have sex without sounding desperate? If you’ve got questions, I have answers! Record your questions here: http://www.sexologypodcast.com/ or email it to drmoali@sexologypodcast.com   Resources mentioned in the episode: Books: Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies https://www.amazon.com/Arousal-Secret-Logic-Sexual-Fantasies/dp/0312302428   Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life  https://www.amazon.com/Tell-Me-What-You-Want/dp/0738234958   Articles:  http://

Welcome to episode 147 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke to the podcast. In this episode they speak to me about the misconceptions people have around having good relationships, not over compromising in a relationship and finding your voice to communicate what you really want to your partner.     CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke are the co-founders of Thrive Inc. They’ve spent 20 years helping men, women, couples, and teams to resolve difficult conflicts and create strong, thriving relationships. They’ve written two books: The Beauty of Conflict and The Beauty of Conflict for Couples.     They’ve given presentations on conflict resolution, communication, teamwork, and creative problem solving at Fortune 100 companies like Johnson & Johnson, Microsoft, AT&T and Nationwide, as well as, at organizations like the Gates Foundation, University of Washington Medical Center, and San Francisco Giants and many others.     They also run tr

Welcome to episode 146 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m excited to welcome Jose Luis Tapia-Fuselier Jr to the podcast. In this episode he speaks to me about sex and disability, the effect a chronic illness or physical disability will have on a person's sex life, and sex tips for individuals and couples.     Jose Luis Tapia-Fuselier Jr. (pronouns: he, him, his) is currently a third-year doctoral student in counseling education and supervision at the University of North Texas. Jose’s research is focused on clinical interventions for interabled couples in couples’ and sex therapy. Specifically, Jose focuses on the adjustment process after one partner acquires a disability. Jose provides individual, couples, play, and family therapy with a special focus in working with disabled people in three languages (English, Spanish, and American Sign Language) at a private practice.     Jose has spent time working with interabled couples at a private rehabilitation setting for people with brain injuries (TBI

Welcome to episode 145 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m pleased to welcome Elizabeth “Liz” Newsom, LCSW to the podcast. In this episode she speaks to me about using BDSM as a form of self-care and finding your healthier self, and provides recommendations on where to get started.     Elizabeth “Liz” Newsom, LCSW, is a sexuality/intimacy therapist/educator specializing in working with individuals who identify as kinky and/or consensually non-monogamous (poly, swingers, etc.); those who identify as gender non-conforming and/or have questions about sexuality; as well as those who need assistance with issues such as depression, anxiety, mood disorders, trauma, communication/anger/intimacy issues and much more. In addition to standard individual, family and relationship counseling, Liz is currently expanding her practice to include supervising and training new therapists with her sex positive inclusive therapeutic approach.     For the last few years she has been providing community/professional educatio

EP144 - Getting Off Without Checking Out with Jessica Graham   Welcome to episode 144 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Jessica Graham to the podcast. In this episode she speaks to me about incorporating fantasy in a healthy way, how sexuality is connected to spirituality, and using mindfulness to increase your desire   Jessica Graham is a meditation teacher, sex, relationship, and spiritual guide for couples and individuals, speaker, and author of Good Sex: Getting Off Without Checking Out. She is a contributing editor of the meditation blog, Deconstructing Yourself and co-founded The Eastside Mindfulness Collective. Jessica also founded Wild Awakening, to help people become more human through psycho-spiritual evolution using meditation and self-inquiry. Jessica is also an award-winning actor and filmmaker.   As a gift to Sexology listeners, Jessica is offering one month free on Simple Habit!   Trial Code: WILDAWAKENING First, sign-up for Simple Habit at http://www.simplehabit.com Usin

Welcome to episode 143 of the Sexology Podcast! Today it is my pleasure to welcome Dalychia Saah to the podcast. In this episode she speaks to me about allowing yourself to have more pleasure, why we struggle to connect with our bodies and finding your erotic voice.    Dalychia Saah (she/her) is a sexuality educator, professor, writer, and speaker. Through her words and work, Dalychia facilitates space for people to connect deeper with their desires for their body, relationships, life, and our world. She is passionate about people unlearning oppressive norms that are externalized, inter-personalized, and internalized that keep us from moving towards a more liberated way of being. Dalychia believes that systematic forms of oppression can be overthrown by a reclamation of intra- and interpersonal power.     Dalychia is the co-founder of Afrosexology, a pleasure based sex education platform that creates educational content and workshops to center the pleasure, empowerment, and liberation of Black people.  A

Welcome to episode 142 of the Sexology Podcast! Today's episode is a solo episode where I discuss fantasizing about others while you're in a relationship, understanding from the fantasy what you want more of in your relationship, the way our sub-conscious plays a role in this issue, and how this is a very common issue for lots of couples.    In this episode, you will hear:     Is it normal to fantasize about someone else while in a relationship?  The importance of communication and dialogue when defining the parameters of your relationship   The stigma attached to non-monogamous relationships   How our sub-conscious plays a role in this issue   Recognizing obsessional thoughts and what to do with them   Being true to your own values   Learning to not judge yourself for having certain thoughts   Removing yourself from situations where you might regret a decision later, e.g. drinking at a social event   Understanding from the fantasy what you want more of in your relationship   The

Welcome to episode 141 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Tara Galeano, L.P.C., CST to the podcast. In this episode she speaks to me about the challenge's women face in regaining sexuality during and after cancer treatment, incorporating a holistic approach with feminine energy and the first steps women can take to regain their sexuality.    Tara Galeano helps women reimagine their bodies after cancer and rekindle their sexuality. She is a certified sex therapist and teaches the class, Rediscovering My Body after Cancer, to amazing, courageous women who have had cancer. For the past five years, she has taught this class at Boulder Community Health.     Currently, she is creating an online course based on this class to make the content more accessible to women everywhere. Tara is also inspired by her studies of Ayurveda, Sanskrit, and being a grandmother. She is currently writing a book based on the Rediscovering My Body class, so she may share widely with all those that are s

Welcome to episode 140 (a) of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m pleased to welcome Susan Bratton to the podcast. In this episode she speaks to me about sex toys, why couples are using them, how they can add sex appeal and changing the sexual dynamic of a relationship with a sex toy.     Susan Bratton is a champion and advocate for all who desire passionate relationships.     Considered the “Dear Abby of Sex,” Susan’s fresh approach and original ideas have helped millions of people of all ages and across the gender spectrum transform sex into passion.     Married to her husband Tim since 1993, Susan is an author, award-winning speaker, and serial entrepreneur who teaches passionate lovemaking techniques to her fans around the world. Susan has been featured in The New York Times and on CNBC and the TODAY show as well as appearing on ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox, and on NBC as the “Marriage Magician.”      Millions of couples and singles have been touched by her TV appearances and Better Lover YouTube ch

Welcome to episode 140 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Stefani Goerlich to the podcast. In this episode she speaks to me about working with non-traditional couples, the sexual challenges they face and understanding what it means to be kink aware.     Stefani holds a Masters in Social Work from Wayne State University, where she specialized in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She has over fifteen years' experience in working with poly/kinky individuals, swingers, commercial sex workers, and child and adult survivors of sexual trauma including human trafficking. Stefani has served as a guest lecturer on minority sexual communities at Northwestern University and is a frequent conference presenter on topics related to Kink Aware Practice and consent. An award winning author, she currently working on her second book entitled The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients.    In this episode, you will hear:     The non-traditional relationship Stefani sees in her pra

Welcome to episode 139 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome back Dr. Ari Tuckman to the podcast. In this episode he speaks to me about his new book (adultADHDbook), navigating the challenges that couples with ADHD will go through, creating fairness and managing expectations and how an overall good relationship balance will lead to great sex.    Ari Tuckman, PsyD, CST has given more than 350 presentations across America and in nine countries. His fourth book, ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship, was just published and is the first to examine how ADHD impacts a couple’s sexual and relationship satisfaction and how to improve both.     In this episode, you will hear:     Looking at the survey Dri Ari conducted for his new book   Do men with ADHD experience more desire than women?  Navigating the challenges that couples with ADHD will go through   The role medication plays in this issue   Distractions during sex, looking at keeping focused and in the zone