Trust The Bachelor Process

It the most sexiest time of the season (set to jingle of “The Most Wonderful Time Of the Year”). Overnights baby!! And they did not disappoint. Becca’s season comes to end with hot sex in a tent, which she swears is awesome. At least this time they had some resources (please see Becca’s overnight with Arie). Unfortunately, it wasn’t all dresses on the floor and robes in bed for our Bachelorette this week, as she sends Jason home before he gets to do it and she feels like a monster for making someo

It’s hometowns baby, and you know what means - tell all your parents you’re a virgin!!!!! Wait, what? Apparently Colton’s not so private about his private life, as it seems he came on television just to tell everyone about it, much to his mother’s dismay. But lucky for us, this week wasn’t totally a wash because we got to fall even deeper in love with Blake, and meet Bachelor Nation’s hottest new couple - Jason’s brother and his husband! Hometowns were filled with high highs, and low lows.

The men and Becca finally enjoy warm weather among the sexy sands of Baha Mar, Bahamas. The skin is showing, the energy is flowing and too bad Becca can’t enjoy any of it because the guy she’s most attracted to just admitted he’s a virgin :( While Colton’s lobbying for his shot to become Ashley I-level famous, Garrett actively avoids negative emotions and Blake begins to slowly spin out.

Hellooo Richmond, the perfect place to fall in love. Who CAN’T catch feelings around a bunch of old churches and statues? We know Becca’s guys sure can, and they are all yelling and screaming and crying to tell us about it. This week, as Becca dives deep to figure out who she can see a future with, TTBP also dives in to see who they wish would leave their TV screen forever. Hint: it’s every guy that Becca loves! And speaking of love, you’ll never guess who stars in a porno.

Happy week 5 from Franklin & Bach! Just when you thought a sob story is what you needed to stay, Jordan proves us wrong by getting sent home out of NOWHERE. David sucks, Chris R sucks, Wayne Newton sucks, and our last bit of venmo hope was sent home. Thank god for hot nerds like Wills, and just regular nerds Blake, who still remind us that true love can exist on this show.

It’s week 4...3? 4...4? Who cares. We’re out of the mansion and into the mountains, but that didn’t stop things from heating up! Garrett is helping Becca with her health, Venmo John is showing off, and Lincoln believes the Earth is flat, so we are off to a great start. Join TTBP with guest host, Shane Lennon (Playing Favorites with Shane Lennon), as they unpack Becca’s foolish decisions, taste in men and true feelings about Jordan...

The petty drama finally started to pick up this week, and we are here for it! Becca performed her Bachelorette duties well by making a bunch of hot men rub her shoulders, then making the rest of the them compete by tackling each other. Unfortunately, it sent national treasure, Clay Harbor, home to take care of his injuries, and we’re still stuck with chicken David who finds the top bunk too dangerous. Luckily, we still have Jordan to keep everything professional.

WEEK ONE DOWN and everyone is... annoying. There was not a dry eye in the house as Becca had to deal with alpha males, sneaky boys, and horrible seats to a dodgeball game in her honor. Nevertheless, she persisted, and so did we. Good thing we all find crying men sexy, right?! But we got through it, and now we have next week to look forward to when FINALLY someone else is required to talk about their ex-boyfriend. So pack that preparable swimwear, and gear up for a hell of a season.

IT’S NIGHT ONE OF THE BACHELORETTE AND THE BITS ARE HOT BABY!!! Men upon men are making grand limo exits and its a mixed bag of adorable and offensive. Meanwhile, Becca sure is doing the damn thing, but is she doing it right? I mean, what person in their right mind would eliminate Grocery Joe? We are heartbroken, and we are shook, but we’re powering through.

She’s done playing your dumb games, Done with your split screen shames, The role you made her play, of the fool, on live TV, She’s not your naive beauty, That would be Lauren B. She knows just what she wants, And no, it isn’t you. (what!?)

From Chris Harrison’s mouth to God’s ears. This has truly been the most DRAMATIC. SEASON FINALE. EVER. We didn’t think it could ever happen, but Arie proves that with a little deceit, a lack of human empathy and a bit of production creativity….ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! Michael Levin (The Rights to Ricky Sanchez/Trial & Error) joins us as we dive deep into the split heard round the world.

It’s fantasy week in Peru and Arie couldn’t be more excited to put his needle to work. But before then, the women must come together to fight about #glamshaming #ageshaming and Krystal. All the while Caroline is the hero we know we need, but aren’t quite sure why yet. UGH Arie, what have you done!????? Meanwhile, back in Bachelorland, Arie spends the night with 3 different women. Sure the dates are more boring than dirt, but it’s nothing a little LeAnn Rimes can’t fix!

Welcome, to the first ever, Bachelor. Winter. Games!!! We came, we saw, and boy did we love it more than we thought. The BWG were a lowly anticipated event, and truthfully the most underrated television event of 2018.

It’s Hometowns baby, and these families were actually a little disappointing. Shane Lennon (Playing Favorites with Shane Lennon) fills in for Alex while she’s in Paris, and Sarah reflects on her past time with Krystal. TTBP tries to decide which one of these women is boring enough Arie, and the fact that maybe he likes sticking his fingers up dead animals? Either way, this guys is unreadable and shocks us with another goodbye to a major player...

This week was tough on everyone in Bachelor Mansion, but it was especially hard on us. First, a tragic goodbye between Jacqueline and Kendall, then the brutal silence between Arie and Lauren B, followed by a backstabbing Tia??? Is nothing sacred?! Luckily, hilarious returning guest, Marcy Jarreau (Kar Dishin It, A Funny Feeling) joined to help navigate the feelings.

Pour a glass of wine and you’ll miss it BUT...Arie and the ladies have landed in the most Romantic. City. Ever. We know what you’re thinking, and no, it’s not Ft. Lauderdale. Katie Grossbard (Swiped Off Her Feet) joins us to discuss all things Paris.

Emergency episode of TTBP to cover the mystery that is Bekah M. Where was she November 12 - 17? Was it more shameful to be on the Bachelor than work on a weed farm?! Why does her mother live under a rock??!!!??!! WE. NEED. ANSWERS.

This week on The Bachelor, our beautiful bachelorettes follow our mediocre bachelor to the magical land of Ft. Lauderdale! It’s obviously the perfect place to fall in love because there are beaches, and boats...and other cool stuff like that. As Arie’s quirkiness dials up a notch, Krystal’s sanity takes a nosedive. We get it, the bowling alley is a triggering place.

It’s goodbye mansion, hello Tahoe, and now Sarah and Alex are planning another trip. This week TTBP covers hot bach hairstyles, group date strategies, and if age really matters in the game of love. Also, can we talk about the freaks in this house? Kendal keeps a dead duck named Ping in her hood?! Jacqueline is ready to drink her own pee?!?! Sorry, we’re emotional, our favorite people keep getting sent home.

Bye, Bye Bibiana. Miss you in the Bahamas (or wherever they travel this season). Bye, Bye Bibiana… You’re five thousand mice drops in the wind. We appreciate your respect and reflection during this trying time of losing our queen of the Bachelor Mansion. Wait, also though, is Jenna a malfunctioning Westworld robot?