Conversations About Divorce

Being physically intimate is a normal, even integral component to most romantic partnerships. So if you’re dating, chances are you are going to be talking about sex. What you really need to be talking about is safe sex.The statistics are startling. Between 2000 and 2010, the overall rates for sexually transmitted infections have doubled in adults over age 50. Chlamydia infections in adults aged 45 to 55 have tripled and the number of women diagnosed with HIV has increased by 40 percent since 2003 and 90 percent of those infected contract HIV through heterosexual activity.That doesn’t mean you have to become a statistic. There’s plenty you can do to keep yourself safe and that’s what we’re talking about. Listen in to discover:Is there such a thing as safe sex?What’s the best way to keep yourself self?When do you talk to a new partner about safe sex?Should you get tested for STI’s?How to handle objections from your partner?… and more.Today’s guest is Dr. Patricia Weitzman who is a senior research scientist at t

Usually it’s the kids that move between their parents’ homes after divorce. With nesting, the kids stay put and the parents move in and out.A few celebrity couples have famously tried this. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin of the “Consciously Uncoupling” fame, and Jon and Kate Gosselin from Jon and Kate Plus 8. Now, with eight kids, having the child stay put is clearly much less work but most of us don’t have that challenge.Still, nesting can mean fewer changes for the children and that can make the transition through divorce much easier. Is nesting something you and your STBX should consider? What does it take to make nesting work and does it really help the kids?Joining Mandy for this show is writer and child of divorce Alana Romain who wrote about nesting on Romper.com. You can follow Alana on Facebook and Twitter as @AlsoAlanaRomain.

For most of us, there is always less money after divorce and that means having to be more intentional about your spending. Even before you’re actually divorced, knowing where the money goes each month can help you make more informed decisions about your housing and since that’s typically the largest portion of anyone’s spending that decision alone will impact everything else.If your spouse was the one who handled the household accounts, then learning to do this now, on top of everything else can seem a bit like learning a foreign language. Even if you did handle the bills, it’s still hard because not only is everything in a state of flux, there’s usually a whole of emotions and judgments mixed in with the money.Joining Mandy is Todd Curtis, Chief Customer Officer at YNAB.com – that’s You Need A Budget which offers software and education around managing your money. Listen in to hear:The difference between tracking expenses and budgetingWhy people find budgeting scaryHow to make budgeting funWhy downloading isn

Nobody ever describes divorce as an easy time in life. Far from it. It’s emotionally traumatic, mentally challenging and there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to deal with everything that needs to be addressed. The one thing that’s easy for people to let slide is taking care of themselves and yet, that’s the very thing that will help you get through this while making the tough decisions you face.Joining Mandy to talk about what taking care of yourself means, how you can do it and why you might not, is fellow divorce coach Martha Bodyfelt. Martha is no stranger to having to take care of herself: her dream career in the Army ended abruptly with a devastating injury and five years after that, her marriage ended. Despite everything she’d learned recovering from her injury, Martha wasn’t eating or sleeping. She remembers cleaning out her closet in the early morning hours eventually falling asleep on the floor exhausted.Martha blogs about divorce at her blog at SurvivingYourSplit.com and has a free download:

Father’s Day is coming up and even though it is meant to be the parallel celebration to Mother’s Day, it doesn’t get equal billing. Married dads may find that irritating but for divorced dads it’s much worse. My guest, blogger Kyle Bradford aka, ChopperPapa says single dads need to understand that the deck is stacked against them from the very start.Listen in to the conversation as Mandy and Kyle talk about:Kyle’s first Father’s Day as a single dad and why he felt he’d been replacedthe significance of Father’s Day to single dads, andhow single dads need to step up their parenting gameKyle Bradford writes about being a father, a husband and an ex at ChopperPapa.com. Kyle also has a podcast on fatherhood, Fatherhood Wide Open.

Few of us like to think about our own demise, however if you’re divorced this truly is something you need to consider. Chances are your spouse was your executor, your trustee, your healthcare power of attorney and your beneficiary and if you don’t do anything, they could still be any or all of these and that could mean trouble.Join Mandy and Boulder-based estate planning attorney, Martha Hartney from Hartney Law as they discuss:the five basic documents every person needs even if they have no assets,what changes the law stops you from making while your divorce is pending.the pitfalls of naming your minor child as your beneficiarywho you can ask to serve instead of your spouseThe big takeaway from this is that your divorce is not complete until you have taken care of what will happen if you are incapacitated or die.Martha has a free download for listeners: 10 Tips When You’re Going Through One of the Worst Times of Life.

Many experts will tell you that you need to approach your divorce as a business transaction. If you can do that then figuring out the impact divorce will have on your finances becomes a mathematical analysis, but it’s rarely that simple or easy to do.There’s almost always less money after divorce and that creates many fears, such as not wanting to change your lifestyle, having to go back to work, or not being able to afford to stay in your current neighborhood. Sometimes those fears are enough to keep people in deeply troubled marriages.Fears however, are False Evidence Appearing Real and often the way to combat them is to do more research and gather more information and that’s definitely the strategy when it comes to financial fears.Joining Mandy for this conversation is Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Russ Luna from Luna Financial Advisors. Listen in to learn what is a lifestyle analysis, how to identify the financial obstacles to divorce, how professionals evaluate the self-employed and what is dissip

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, in today’s episode we’re talking about what it means to be a mother after divorce, how divorce can change your responsibilities as a mother, and of course, celebrating Mother’s Day after divorce.Joining Mandy for this show is licensed therapist, author and college instructor, Terry Gaspard. Together they discuss:if there are unique challenges for mothers after divorcehow changing gender roles have changed the role of mothersthe special role mothers play in helping children adapt to two homehow to enjoy Mother’s Day after divorce, even if you can’t be with your children.Terry is the author of the book, Daughters of Divorce: Overcome The Legacy of Your Parents’ Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship which is available on Amazon. You can follow Terry at her website, Moving Past Divorce.

Even though  parts of the country are still getting snow, it’s not too early too early to be thinking about summer and that’s especially true if you are divorced and have kids. Making plans for your kids over the summer has the potential for many disagreements with your ex and those disagreements can sometimes be serious. They can sometimes mean returning to court and they can sometimes significantly restrict what you’d like to do.Mandy is joined by family law attorney Valerie Jules McCarthy to discuss:why communication and flexibility are key to summer planswhen you should be prepared to seek legal helpthe difference that notification and approval can mean for out-of-state travelwhy you can’t just enroll your child in the summer camps you wantwhy making assumptions about your ex could make things more difficultValerie Jules McCarthy is an attorney with the New Jersey law firm of Pashman Stein. You can follow their family law blog at NJFamilyLaw4U.com.

We don’t talk much about divorce and suicide but sadly, it’s not uncommon. Whether it’s a child whose parents are getting divorced, the person who wants to end the marriage but can’t or the person whose spouse has said they want a divorce, it’s a sign of a person who is struggling for their life and desperately needs help. So what should you do?Joining Mandy to discuss what you need to know about suicide and divorce is Samantha Nadler, regional coordinator with the Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network. Samantha has made multiple suicide attempts both as the child of divorcing parents and as the person wanting to leave the marriage. She also experienced her husband’s threat of suicide. You can read Samantha’s story here.Listen in to learn:the signs that someone you love may be considering suicidewhy you always need to take talk of suicide seriouslywhen a suicide threat becomes domestic violencehow you can help someone who is suicidalwhy a suicide threat doesn’t mean changing the divorce decisionIf you or someo

Sooner or later most people try dating after divorce: some people dive right in with little hesitation, other people are more cautious, and some of us even need a push!While there is a danger in waiting too long, being ready is important. Being ready means approaching dating as an adventure with more self-confidence and less intimidation. You’ll be the chooser and less likely to take “no” as rejection. In short, being ready means opening yourself up to lots of fun.So what goes into being ready? Joining Mandy again today is dating expert and founder of LastFirstDate.com Sandy Weiner. Listen to learn:what being emotionally ready looks likethe essential physical preparations you don’t want to ignorethe difference between dating for fun and dating for keepsthe importance of open, direct communication, andhow many people are picky about the wrong thingsVisit Sandy’s website for her free download, The Top Three Dating Mistakes Midllife Daters Make.

If you and your spouse own your home, then whether one of you is going to keep it or it’s being sold, you’ll need a Realtor to work with. It seems like everyone has a friend who’s a Realtor so that should be easy, yes? Turns out it’s not so easy because not all Realtors have the expert knowledge about divorce you need.In this episode Mandy is joined by Peggy Spiro who is a Realtor and a Real Estate Divorce Specialist in Colorado. Peggy was one of the first real estate agents in the nation to specialize in divorce.Join Mandy and Peggy to discover:what special expertise to look forwhy some agents don’t want to work with divorcing coupleshow an agent needs to communicate with youwhy you shouldn’t wait till your divorce is final to find an agentwhy you might not want to work with your friendAre you trying to decide what to do with your home? You might find this post on Should You Stay Or Go helpful. 

Your child’s school is a major part of their life and teachers are key players in your child’s well-being. This makes it critically important that you work with your child’s school through your divorce. There’s a fine balance though between providing essential details and too much information.Joining Mandy is single-parenting expert Dr. Leah Klungess. Listen in as Mandy and Dr Leah discuss:when to let your child’s teachers know you’re getting divorcedwho needs to know and what do they need to knowthe difference between classroom communications and school communicationswhy your child’s school isn’t responsible for knowing your parenting scheduleLeah Klungness more widely known as Dr. Leah is the co-author of The Complete Single Mother — the best selling self-help book ever written for single parents. Visit her site DrLeah.com and follow her on Twitter @Dr_Leah.

Sooner or later, most people are interested in dating again after their divorce and as exciting as that is, it typically comes with some anxiety, nerves and hesitation. That’s not surprising. For many of us, it’s been a while since we dated and maybe we didn’t really enjoy it the first time around. We have questions!how long should you wait before you start dating?how do you know you’re emotionally ready?do you have to wait until you have your divorce decree in hand?what if you never meet that special person?is everyone capable of falling in love?Join Mandy and dating expert Sandy Weiner as they talk about all these and more.Sandy Weiner is the founder of LastFirstDate.com. Visit her website to download your free copy of Sandy’s report, The Top Three Mistakes Midlife Daters Make.

It’s the start of a new year, the Holidays are over and many people will move ahead with filing for divorce. People who decided to end their marriage in the fall often hold off taking any action because they don’t want to spoil the Holidays.But now, one of you may be moving out, you might be getting your house ready for sale, and you may have stopped going to social events together. That means it’s hard to keep the truth about your marriage secret any longer. Other people are going to start noticing the changes that are happening in your life. You’re going to be forced to tell friends and family what’s really going on.So how do you do that? When is the time right? Are there some people you should tell before others? And how much detail do you share?Joining Mandy is New York based divorce coach, Karen McMahon. Karen McMahon offers a free webinar, Stepping Out of Chaos: Transforming Pain to Possibility.

For thousands of years, humans have been making New Year’s resolutions. Today, those resolutions are usually focused on some act of self-improvement. While that sounds positive and helpful, it’s estimated that 88 percent of people who set resolutions fail to keep them.So if resolutions are such a good idea why are we so bad at keeping them. How should we set them and do we set ourselves up for success rather than failure.Join Mandy and her guest, divorce coach and mediator, Tara Eisenhard as they reveal the secrets to making New Year’s resolutions that work.Tara Eisenhard is the author of The D-Word: Divorce Through a Child’s Eyes and the blog Relative Evolutions. Tara is a daughter of cooperatively divorced parents as well as an ex-wife and former partner of a divorced dad.  From these life experiences came her beliefs that a marriage shouldn’t survive at the expense of its participants, and families should evolve, not dissolve, through the separation process.

Feeling guilty about the decision to end your marriage is pretty typical. Few people find it easy to break their marriage vows, cause pain and hurt to the person they once loved or bring turmoil and distress to the lives of their children. Even if the decision to divorce wasn’t yours, you may still feel guilt about the things you did or wish you’d done differently.Listen in to Mandy and her guest, divorce advisor Karen Covy as they discuss:what feeling guilty meanswhere guilt comes fromwhat you can learn from your guilthow we compensate for guilthow to handle guilt in a healthy wayKaren is a popular speaker and has been featured on the Channel 7 News, WCIU You and Me This Morning, as well as numerous radio shows. She is the author of the popular book, When Happily Ever After Ends: How to Survive Your Divorce Emotionally, Financially and Legally.  You can download her divorce toolkit for free from her website KarenCovy.com.

If someone asks you why your marriage ended, you might respond that you and your spouse were constantly arguing about money or the kids or sex. What this really points to is an inability to resolve conflict and the most common reason for this is the parent-child dynamic. Where you the parent or child in your marriage?While many couples are able to endure this type of relationship, it often leads to resentment and bitterness and can cause one spouse to detach and disengage, resulting in divorce.Joining Mandy to discuss the parent-child dynamic is psychologist, Dr. Tony Ferretti. Listen in to discover:How to recognize the parent and how to spot the childWhere we learn these behaviorsWhy these behaviors cause marriages to endHow to start responding as an adultWhy responding as an adult is the best way to avoid making the same mistakesDr. Tony Ferretti, is a licensed psychologist specializing in helping professionally successful clients achieve work-life balance and manage interpersonal problems and conflicts. He

With Thanksgiving and Black Friday looming large, it’s time to figure out how to manage your Holiday spending so you can enjoy the Holidays without guilt over what you did or did not buy, and without going into debt.That’s not easy – our household incomes don’t magically increase and we have increased expenses from gift-giving, entertainment and travel. But no wants to be a scrooge. So what’s the answer?Join Mandy Walker and blogger, author and single-mom budgeting queen, April McCaffrey as they discuss:Why it’s not too late to budget for your Holiday spendingWhere you can find extra $$$Ways you can be creative about gift-givingWhy not incurring debt is more important than Christmas morning oohs and aahsWhy you might want to team up with your exApril McCaffery is the single parent of two teenage daughters, a paralegal, blogger at It’s All About Balance, and author of Balancing the Single Mom Budget, available on Amazon.

Even though you may not feel much like celebrating the Holidays, experts say it’s not a good idea to just skip them.Traditions are what helps to bind families together and they are a part of what makes each family unique. They help us grow and thrive. So rethinking and recreating the traditions that are meaningful to you is an key step in healing from your divorce.Join Mandy Walker and divorce coach, Micki McWade for the expert tips you need to know about the Holidays so can still enjoy them.Micki McWade is the author of two books: Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery and Daily Meditations For Surviving A Breakup, Separation or Divorce – both available on Amazon.com.Mandy has some more tips for managing family stress during the Holidays on her blog.