Your Life, Unlimited

Have you ever had to deliver negative feedback and found it extra difficult because the person in question didn't take it so well, maybe they took it  little to personally. We have been well trained to communicate using the benefits of eye to eye contact (or two point communication). But there are certain situations when it’s not the best option and delivering negative feedback is one of them. Next time try using three -point communication. Three-point communication is less emotional than two-point communication because the focus is on the issue level of the communication instead of the relationship level. To do this turn your eyes on a neutral object, a paper, a book, a board, the messy room! Something besides the other person’s eyes. So remember, if the interaction you’re having is positive, it’s okay to make eye contact; if it’s negative, it’s better to employ a third point. Notice is your listener is more receptive and is less defensive. Mastering the Three-Point C

  Know when to take action Your colleague is late and it’s affecting you. Your spouse says that certain word that gets your back up. Your kid left something at the top of the stairs instead of bringing it downstairs. You caved and had the extra slice of pizza even though you are full. How do you know whether to just count to 10 and ignore it or speak up? In general, I follow the rule of three. If it (being late for example) happens once, that is ok.  Stuff happens - no big deal. If it happens twice then realize you may be seeing a pattern developing.  You may want to pay a little more attention to the situation. If it happens a third time then it may be time to figure out what is happening and what needs to be done to change it.  It’s very likely a pattern that is developing. So, could you have a conversation with the person in question to get things on track, could you develop a plan for yourself to create a different outcome, If it happens 3 x's then it may be something that

Do more autotelic things! The other day I stood on my head. “Why?” you ask? “Why not?” said I. I stood on my head because I can!  I stood on my head because I hadn’t done it in decades and I wondered if I could still do it. When I came back right side up, I felt great! It was an autotelic activity. Autotelic activities are those that you do just for the joy of doing them. Not for external reward. Not for money. Not for glory. Just the act of doing them is reward itself. For me playing ringette is another autotelic activity. When I go home after a game, my hub asks me what the score was - and I usually don’t know - sometimes I don’t even know who won. Yes, really!  But... I love it - I love playing that game. I love skating fast (well, my version of fast!) with the cool air blowing through my helmet. I love digging hard for the ring. I love picking up a perfect pass. I even love falling down when I’m trying hard to stop the ring. I love chasing the

I was thinking about the word honour this week.  Sometimes we honour people to acknowledge a special occasion for them, when a milestone is reached or when they have passed.   Do you remember the last time you felt honoured? What was that like for you?  Who have you honoured lately? So here’s something to think about …Who in your world would benefit from being honoured? What might that do for them? How do you think that would make them feel? Do you have to wait for a special occasion to make them feel honoured? And for sure, we don’t want to wait until it’s too late to honour them.  What could you do this week to show appreciation, gratitude, respect or love to that special person? How could you honour them in a way, big or small.  Whether it’s a parent, child, colleague, family member, friend or someone is who making a difference in your life or community - take this opportunity to let them know that who they are matters to you.      &nbs

Be where you are. Do you ever find when you are at work you are thinking about everything that you are missing at home and when you are at home, you are spending too much time thinking about work. When you are on a date night with your honey, is your head where your heart is - or is your head full of other ‘things you should be doing? When you are attending your kid’s activities, is just your body there? We might think we are pulling one over on others, but I'm guessing we aren't. As we go through our day from task to task, it’s sometimes easy to forget that almost all of those responsibilities come with touch points with people.  Real, living, breathing people.  People with feelings and concerns and stories.  Some of the stories we know but most, no matter how well we know the person, we do not. Each day is made up of many stories that shape who we are and how we show up in the world. At momondays we are privileged to hear people share their stories with us. Through

Get ready, I'm on a rant. A poetic rant - but it's a rant nonetheless. Enjoy. Or not.  Either way, it felt good to get it out. The best or nothing, Go big or go home, You can have it all Rah, rah, I want to be your cheerleader, your greatest fan But I disagree with the motivational posters Which is probably bad when you are a motivational speaker But it is my truth so I speak it now, I give voice to how I really feel And I feel like good enough is enough. Part way is better than no way, some is better than none, and done is better than perfect Put that on a poster and see how you like it  But allow me to explain I am not the best, so am I nothing? I am not going big, why do I have to  go home? I will never have it all, everything comes at a cost, after all. Does that make me less than or not good enough? Please, don’t insult me with your platitudes  For I am standing up for being good enough I am full, so I say no thanks to more food - that’s  enough I am satisfied, so I s

Meet Sean, the shoelace guy. I meet him last week. Sean, a nice, young, corporate guy dressed in the tidy requisite suit caught my attention. Not because of his smiling face but because of his shoelaces. Yep, his perfectly polished brown dress shoes were adorned with lime green shoelaces. Hmmm, I’d never seen that before. Turns out Shoelace Sean, (who also sported very snazzy socks) has quite a shoelace collection and changes them out sometimes daily, depending on this mood or his attire. He thought it was funny that I was grilling him about his laces, but what I learned was that it wasn’t just about how his laces looked, the shoelace thing was also about how it made him feel. It made him feel good. Every time he took the time to change out his laces - which as you could appreciate - would take a few minutes out of his already busy day, he would get a little positive buzz, a little feel-good charge. When he would glance down at his shoes or his laces would spark a conversation with someone who h

I don't know about you, but I'm busy.  Busy, crazy, nuts. But I never use those words - they don't serve me well. Still, if you are like me you spend much of your time doing and very little time being. I have committed to spending 24 hours in silence with the next month. I'm scared just thinking about it but I was inspired by the incredible story of my radio guest this week. Frederick Soucy  did the unthinkable. He spent four days alone in the woods with not only no screens, no reading or writing but also no food and no water. No nothing, just himself. And ... Frederick has done this 3 times!  Now of course, you don't have to do that, but you can turn your phone off for 24 hours or go 24 hours without speaking or join me in my personal challenge of 24 hours of silence. Frederick says everything you need to know is within you, you just need to be quiet enough for long enough to hear it. So for a change, I'm going to stop doing and start being a little bit more and 24 hours of silence s

  Whether you believe in them or not, whether you call them resolutions, commitments, affirmations, intentions or whatever… they can, and have, worked for thousands of people across borders - why not make them work for you? Here are a few ways to increase the likelihood of making 2016 one outstanding year - the year you didn’t just talk about doing ‘it’ - this is going to be the year you actually did ‘it.’ First get clear on what your ‘it’ is - is it something your that gets you jazzed and excited or just something you feel you should do? I’ll tell you right now that The Shoulds are very unlikely to make it to February but the jazzy ones - now you’ve got hope! To tell or not to tell - People often ask me, should I tell other people about my commitment  - to which I answer yes and no. Yes, tell encouraging, motivated, positive, supportive people who will help you. No, do not tell people who are negative, unsupportive or the  jealous ty

Every year, I choose a theme.  I choose a word to wrap my year around. A word to help give me focus and clarity. After careful consideration and lots of conversations with my favourite person, the word to focus on for this year has finally been settled on. Our word is GROW. There are many different associations we can put with the word grow. By definition grow means to become larger or greater over time. Yeah, I like that. Well, not larger as far as the scale is concerned but I would like to grow in other ways among them: - in open mindedness - in spiritually - I would like to grow my knowledge base - it would be cool if I could grow my significant relationships to new heights - grow my circle of influence - grow my physicality - grow older as gracefully as possible - grow my contributions to the world, both locally and globally - and you know, I've always wanted to grow herbs - this will be the year! Yep, for me focusing my 2016 lens through the word grow has the potential to help me create a

They say when you are ready the teacher will appear and so he did. About three weeks into my self-imposed 50 day sugar-free retreat, I was connected with Barry Friedman, author of I Love Me More Than Sugar. His enthusiam for being sugar free is (almost) contagious! Almost 4 years into 'the lifestyle' now, Barry says he will never go back and he now helps people of all ages, stages and geographic location to kick the sugar bug to the curb. Barry says you may miss sugar for awhile, but you won't miss any love or  fun in your life, it's just a mind shift and he uses the acronym FREE to help. F - Fruit - enjoy to your heart's content R - Replace - sugary treat with things that are not food E - Examine what you are eating, when and why E - Exercise, old news that still works and takes your mind off of eating junk! As for me, I challenged myself (the most sugar-addicted person I know) to go 50 days and I allowed myself 5 cheat days within that time frame. Please give me bonus points as

Dr. Ryan Greschuk author of, It's Not Your Fault You've been Lied To shares some insights on today's podcast. Dr.Ryan believes that your body has within it everything it needs to be healthy and encourages us to not accept the myth that aging equals being unwell. Three positive steps to healthy living... 1) Start HITT training 2) Buy organic, at least for the Dirty Dozen 3) Get more micronutrients in your diets - Dr. Ryan says these are like the nuts and screws that hold your house together. Deb Dawson-Dunn, personal leadership coach, and I talked about the effects of winter on us and the Way of the Happy Woman. Please enjoy Deb's guest blog post below as well as our entire Your Life, Unlimited broadcast. Expanding Your Energy! "When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in the worship of the creator." - Gandhi Practice noticing how your body feels when ever you are asked to do something this month. I just rea

I would like to tell you this because... When you set up a conversation like this, it's like a signal to the other person, it helps prepare them for the message you are about to deliver. That was just one of my learnings today from Pat Hirst,  author of In a Perfect World - Interpersonal Skills for Life - as she talked about skills that matter. We had a great conversation and I left with takeaways such as the above tip and the below thoughts: Get curious vs furious Give developmental feedback vs negative feedback Add a healthy person to your life and... what really resonated with me was to think about the intention of you communication before you even begin the conversation.  I'm thinking if we all did that, there would be a lot less drama in our (perfect) world. Her book contains endless ideas and great exercises to help you master your communication skills.  Here is a complimentary chapter with a cool and useful conversation checklist!...Chapter 8 - Conver

I asked the flight attendant my 'famous' question, "Tell me something beautiful, loving or kind you have seen done on a plane." This smiling woman didn’t even have to think, she answered immediately. "That’s easy, it’s when I see a couple who are sitting across the isle from each other holding hands.  I just want to take picture it’s so sweet!  Oh and there was this older couple sitting up front one time and she feel asleep before take off and her husband reached over and snugged up her seat belt. So, so sweet!" Ahhhh. You know, the big surprises and gifts we give to people we love are special. They are planned and intentional and deliberate and that's great. Consider though the small, unconscious acts that you do (or are done for you) by people you love that show love in the tinest, most beautiful way - like the ones that the flight attendant noticed. Doing, and appreciating, unconscious acts of love, it’s just one more way…it just one more way to live You

What’s your purpose this week? To get through it. To get as much done as possible? To stay out of trouble? To leave your mark on our world. When my friend Wendy moved from California to Manitoba, her friend sent her off with this inspirational instruction. "Go put your ‘W’ on Winnipeg." You see Wendy had left her mark in California, her positive imprint, her progressive and pro-active impression and her friend knew that now was time for Wendy to make her mark elsewhere. And she has - enhancing, educating and inspiring our community in the short time since she arrived. What about you? Have you left  your positive, pro-active and progressive mark on your community yet? We don’t have to start a foundation, donate an organ or give away our life’s saving to have a favourable impact. It∂ can be made in hundreds of tiny but impactful ways. Think about your purpose this week, think about how you can leave your …insert your initial here…mark on our world.it’s

If you locked your partner and your dog in the trunk and twenty minutes later you went back to get them out - which one would be happier to see you?  lol We love our pets and this week on Your Life, Unlimited I spoke with My Fairy Dog Mother, Barbara Neray, who said some of us say no to our dogs so much, the dog ends up thinking is name is "No!" Hmm, I never thought of if that way! She offered up some dog training tips if pups are part of your world. AND  Kathryn Mackenzie, author of the shiny new book, Throw Your Scale Away - Reclaiming the True Meaning of Health & Fitness. Kate  offered up some insight on her philosophy of Feel Good, Look Good - rather than the other way around. I do know people who judge how their day is going to be based on the number that the bathroom scale tells them in the morning.  That sucks.  Focus on being strong, fit and moving better.  Focus on being healthy and happy.  Focus on being true to yourself and authenticity. Do activitie

I passed by a drink machine the other day and the sign said Out of Order. Oh man, that sign resonated with me at that moment. I had felt out of order for the last few days.   It was the  weekend and we expect them all to be good, 'cause - well it's the weekend. But not this one. I could tell it wasn’t going to be great when I received a text the hubby sent from work on Friday afternoon…   "l am feeling miserable, save yourself."   Even with this warning, we had a bad weekend. We were both sick and cranky. And the more sick we got, the more cranky we got and the more cranky we got, the more nasty we got. It wasn’t pretty.   By Sunday, we were feeling more human and talked things out. How could we have lessened our pain that weekend, how could we have been more gentle with each other and ourselves?   Here’s what we came up with…   Give time and space - realizing this situation is temporary, not the norm - everyday can’t be p

Thought for the week, if plan 'A' doesn't work there are 25 more letters in the alphabet! Too often we quit if our first try doesn't work.  Come on, we are more creative than that! Pull out - or create - plan C, D, E...L,M,N,O, P! *** Join me and one tall dude, former NBA player turned Motivational Speaker Walter Bond on this week's radio show. We discussed a few Peak Performance keys and you can download all 31 Truths for Peak Performance at www.walterbond.com/31. Also on this show, defence lawyer turned pastor, Marvin Dyck shared some cools ideas for keeping relationship in tip top shape. This man sends his adult kids a motivational, inspirational or humorous  text everyday - wow! Wait 'til you find out what else he does, and we can do, do improve important relationships. *** Stephanie Staples, CSP* is the author of When Enlightening Strikes – Creating a Mindset for Uncommon Success, an internationally acclaimed motivational speaker, and the recipient of the 2014 Manitoba

What’s driving you crazy this week?  Something at home? At work? Something about yourself that is pushing you to the edge this week? Today here are a few options for dealing with difficult situations. You can do nothing and complain about it and let it negatively affect others areas of your life.  I don’t recommend this option. You can do nothing and accept it. Accept the person, the situation, yourself. You do nothing about the situation, you only change your mindset around the situation. I used the word only but this is far from easy - it’s just sometimes it’s the best or only option. You can remove yourself from the situation, the drama, the chaos. You can choose to vote with your feet, walk away, cut your losses, say sianara! It’s not a matter of if a difficult situation will happen to you, it’s just a matter of when. Don’t let them take any more from you than they have to. Changing your mindset or your behaviour or get out, it&rsqu

When dining out, a friend of mine does something a little unusual.  When the waiter comes over to introduce himself, Brian asks, “Are you the very best waiter in this restaurant?”  As you would guess, the serving staff almost always answers, “Yes, of course!” Brian is a clever man, what he is doing here is setting the bar high.  He is planting the seed in the personal’s head that they are the very best at what they do. He is subtly challenging them to show him that they are the very best.  You can imagine that Brian manages to stellar service nearly every time he eats out. Hmmmm. How can we apply this idea to our own lives? Where in your world can you set the bar high, plant the seeds for success and expect the best? Who can you encourage, challenge and invite exceptional performance from? Expecting the best - it’s just one more way you can live Your Life, Unlimited. *** This week on Your Life, Unlimited radio Dr. Dawn-Marie Turner au