Your Life, Unlimited

Enjoy Allison Graham's guest blog here. :)   How "Positive Thinking" Made Me Miserable. When I started my decade of hell, before I would have considered myself a Resiliency Ninja, I had a very different opinion of what positive thinking meant. I thought it meant seeing everything through rose-colored glasses and spewing sunshiny messages about how incredible life was every where I went. The problem was, life wasn't rosy, at times, it was black. My business was on rocky ground, my body was screaming for me to stop and my resentment was being forced down into the depths of my soul, ready to erupt at any moment. Meanwhile, I'd picked up this notion that I should be happy and positive all the time and anything less than that meant I was failing myself and society's expectations. The essence behind positive thinking – in it's misunderstood form, which is often shared in the personal-development industry - is that if you just think positively and speak no ill-will then everything will be, or become, positive.

Seven point four billion. That's the current estimate for our world's population. Yet even with those odds, here we are thrown together by chance and by choices made - some by us, some by other people. We are reading this same email, hearing the same messages, enjoying the same entertainment, each of us having the opportunity to learn and share and grow in ways that can not only impact ourselves personally but create a ripple effect to benefit those whose lives we touch, impact, influence. I believe the people who take a moment out of their busy take to pause and read the Your Life, Unlimited message are a unique & special group. A group that knows that we must be continually immersed in the world of personal development. We know that 'one hit' only lasts so long. We know that we must surround ourselves with people who build us up, who inspire us, who 'get' the fact that we can and do make positive change possible. There is an Invisible thread that connects us - all seven billion of us and the thousands o

I can't count the number of flights I have been on in the last year. I pretty much get on a plane to go to work. The glamour of being a professional speaker is balanced with the exhaustion, loneliness and tedium that comes with business travel. Once in awhile, someone crosses your path that makes you look up. Pay attention. Smile. Laugh even. And so it was with Bruno this week. The Westjet flight attendant who was doing the safety demo. The safety demo that even those obedient Type A's typically tune out of. Bruno brought us back to life. Lip syncing to the female voice en francois, he milked that safety demo for all it's worth. He put his body and soul into it. Little by little people started laughing and more and more people started looking up from their books and devices. When he was done with his 'show' - and really that's what it was (I cannot adequately describe his demo, just trust me when I say it was epic), the passengers erupted in applause and he did a lovely curtsy in appreciation. "Gotta have fun

Hope and confidence - sometimes it comes from the inside out and other times it comes from the outside in! Once in a while we need someone to believe in us more than we believe in ourselves - if you find yourselves lacking hope and/or confidence tell someone you love and trust exactly what you need. For example - I'm feeling super stressed out about this project at work and I don't feel like I can pull in off, can you please reassure me that I am the right person for the job and that if I put in my best effort it's going to turn out great. Insert/ask for pat on the back, reassuring smile or appropriate hug, here. Then remind yourself of all the things you have already accomplished that you weren't sure you could. See there you go! You are awesome - sometimes you just forget! Now, take three deep breaths, click your heels together and go out there and do it. #yougotthis! Hope and confidence, it's just one more way to live Your Life, Unlimited!   This week on CJOB... Jim Beqaj, author of True Fit-How to F

Who talks about giving at the end of February?! The holidays have passed, Valentine's Day is over, what is left to give? PLENTY in my books! In fact, some of my most favourite types of giving occurs when it's not the 'have to give' kind of giving. For example: You see something in the store and you just know someone you care about would absolutely love it - and you just buy it for them for no reason. You whip up a tasty delight in your kitchen and it turns out wonderful and you share the extra with an unexpecting benefactor. You see someone that needs a hand and make a spur of the moment decision to offer yours willingly. You read a book or an article or see a video that you know would really resonate with a colleague or friend or family member and you take time to share it with them. You are generous with warm words or tenderness that may land exactly when that person needed to hear them. You praise someone publicly, to their boss, on social media, or somewhere it can be 'overheard'. You give more than feel

I had a nice chat with Kristin Arnold of extraordinaryteam.com. We talked about some biases that sabotage our thinking. Kristin talked about the great distinction between what we notice and what we imagine. For example, we notice what someone is wearing, or what they said or what we saw them do, but we imagine a lot of other things - we make assumptions. The thing about making assumptions is that we are wrong 50% of the time and this is where we can get into trouble. Consider checking in to see if your assumptions are accurate or a little off base.

Beautiful Interruption   I first heard this phrase while watching a TED talk about talking to strangers (when you can spare 12 minutes, enjoy it here). These two words, so rarely put together in the same sentence really made me think about the beautiful interruptions that sometimes find their way into my days. I work from home, when I'm not on the road, and Randy (the hub) used to say to me, "When you are done working, we'll go for a walk."  This rarely, if ever worked because when you are self-employed ( or a parent!) you are never actually 'done working' - there is always more to do. Instead I would say to him, "Tell me when you want to go for a walk and then I'll be done working." I needed to create a beautiful interruption. Something that would stop me from the endless to do's and engage me in something different, something positive, something that allowed me to connect on a different level.   Occasionally, beautiful interruptions just happen, like:   when my son pops in after

A relation of mine and I had a blow up recently. The two of us, normally rational adults who get along just fine - were at odds. It was awful, uncomfortable and sad. He was upset and I was crying. For over an hour we dumped our issues on the table and tried to sort them out with little success. From different provinces, it is rare to literally be sitting across the table together and so to process things after the fact, in our own spaces was necessary. As I reflected upon our conversation, the situation and the emotions that were going wild (mostly mine), I thought about the intent of our conversations and especially about the difficult situation that preceded it. It was never either of our intentions to hurt, disappoint or upset the other person. Yet that is what transpired for both of us. Hurt. Disappointment. Upset. And we could have left it at that; take a relationship that was strong and let it die. We could pretend it never happened. Or we can deal with it. At the end of the day, maybe it doesn't really

Curiosity may have killed the cat but for the most part it can help you grow your world. Here are ten reasons to encourage curiosity in yourself and others… It makes life more interesting and that attractive! It encourages life-long learning. It sets a good example for your kids, staff and others. It will help you understand things/people that perplex you. It's a great way to reduce judgement and increase understanding. It helps reduce boredom. It can be really fun. It could lead you down new paths. It challenges what you believe to be true. It stretches your mind. What can you do to encourage curiosity in yourself and others this week?  

Pay attention to what's happening next. I was in the security line the other day, you know, where you put all your worldly possessions on trays? The man in front of me loaded his stuff into the trays and then took out two extra trays for the next person. In all my flying I have never seen (or done) that small act before. What's the big deal? Well my observation was that this man was not so caught up in his own little world as the rest of us might be. He was paying attention to what was going on behind him, who was coming behind him, even though he didn't know them. Simple things like holding the door open for someone behind you and uh - gentlemen ... putting the toilet seat down. It's not about those individual acts per se, it's bigger than that. It's about being aware that behind you, after you, someone else is showing up and you can do little things to help them out and make their life easier without taking more than a tad of effort, thought, time from you. Paying attention to what's happening next, it's j

The risk of insult is the price of clarity. Gair Maxwell, author of the upcoming book, The Reinvention Code watched me do my keynote live and then joined me for this week's radio show. We talked about his concept of "Climbing Down" - leaving our perch of arrogance and walking the path of humility and uncertainty to move to a new area of clarity.  You can download 7 Timeless Secrets to Unlock New Beginnings in Business & Life here.    AND …   Karen Insley, founder of HealthyWayEveryDay shared her insights around the psycho-social perspective for healthy living, that is non-physical things that effect mental health and well being. Our body is clever and she helps us decipher a little bit of what it's trying to tell us, specifically around food and sleep.  

This is going to sound odd and I'm just telling the essence of the story but … I told a woman I was working with that I thought she was beautiful. Immediately tears welled up in her eyes and she began to cry. "I'm not." she replied. It was so sad. I wanted to wrap my arms around her in comfort but instead I will recommended she listen to the founder of the Beautiful Women Project. This week on YLU radio, I shared my Creative Coaching experience with the multi-talented Cheryl-Ann Webster, founder of the project. She has completely changed the way I see myself in respect to art, brought about a new level of body awareness and shared how our sense of self can impact all aspects of our life. I hope my new friend seeks her counsel. AND also on the show... Did you know that if people are happy at work they are more than 150% likely to be happy at home? This information came while I enjoyed an insightful interview with Chester Elton who lives by his Dad's motto, assume the best and you'll rarely be disappointed

Replace a word. There is one word you say. A lot. It's not a happy word. It's not a good word. It's not a positive word. But you sure like to say it and it's not serving you well. What is your word? But Just Whatever Always Never Fine I don't care Should My word was too bad, well I guess that is two words. I don't know what your word is, but I am certain you know. What if you rarely said that word any longer? How would things be? It's hard to just stop doing something but easier to replace the old habit with a new one. When you figure out what the word is that is not serving you well, come up with a different more productive word to replace it. Replacing a word, it's just one more way you can live Your Live, Unlimited! *** Creating Happiness at Work! Have you ever thought about just what happiness at work means? Does it refer to having lots of friends, having a good time, doing interesting work, feeling a sense of accomplishment or having a good boss? Actually, it means all of those things; however, the chall

Robert Brault said, "Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true." Ain't it so - it's hard to know what is true, but it's easy to know what is kind. Most people are easy to treat politely but admittedly some are a little hard to be nice to. But what if, just WHAT IF we treat everyone with politeness?! Yes, even those who are rude to you. Especially those who are rude to you? What if we declare we are going to treat them nice not because they deserve it and not because they are nice, but because WE are? We are nice, so we treat people nice. Even difficult people. Sounds like something we learned in kindergarten, eh? Treating people nicely, it's just one more way you can live Your Life, Unlimited! *** This week on Your Life, Unlimited radio on CJOB Michele Matt, author of Attitude-The Choice is Yours! and sleep expert Carolyn Schur, author of Birds of a Feather share their thoughts and expertise with us.

I challenged myself to write 50 thank you cards this year. Write them. On a note card. You know, with a pen. Writing words that come from my head, not pre-printed on the card. That's less than one card per week but it's about 45 more than I wrote last year. I was up to the challenge and I wrote a list of about 20 people who came very easily to mind and then I let the rest of the list unfold as naturally as the year did. Now I have challenged myself to actually make, that is create an original card for my remaining people. That has added a whole different dimension to the task! One thing that did make this challenge easier was having everything ready ahead of time. I had the envelopes with stamps ready to go. I carried the pre-made cards with me so that if something 'thank-worthy' happened I could leave the card immediately. It was a great exercise to hammer home the power of gratitude. You don't have to do fifty - but how about doing one thank you card for someone this week?

Minor aggravations can be a major pain and a major waste of your precious resourses. Don't let minor aggravations ruin your day. Minor aggravations are things that will not be important next year, next month, probably not even next week. Maybe not even in the next hour! Think traffics, store lines, rude people you never have to see again. To go past the annoyance… Acknowledge your feelings - say that's interesting, get curious,  wonder why that is bothering you so much? Keep your perspective.  Ask yourself is this worth ruining my day (or this hour) for? Usually not. Develop strategies to combat minor inconveniences - counting to ten, cueing up a favourite song, repeating a mantra Visualize the problem shrinking. Literally, it's getting smaller and smaller. Or picture erasing it with a huge eraser. Accept that you may not be able to change the annoyance but you can change the way your relate to it and that is very empowering! Combatting minor aggravations  that's 

Ever been stressed?  lol There are of course, different types of stress, honing in on what type of stress is causing your angst can help you get over it quicker. Physical stress is pretty easy to identify, it's a threat to our physical body. Mental or emotional stress is a little bit tougher - this happens when we feel threatened. It could be our values, our security, or our well-being or when our expectations aren't realized. It could also be when we lose control and feel helpless or experience change, even positive change. Major changes in life are stressful and even minor one can cause unpleasantness. No matter the stress you can respond in three basic ways - resist it, avoid it or confront and adapt to it. And on the happy side, not all stress is bad. Good stress can make us feel focused, energized, motivated, challenged and aware of options. Develop an anti- stress regime that works for you. There is not one right plan for everyone. The best anti-stress regime is one that works for you. In order to

Pre-Thank You Guest Post   Thank you Stephanie Staples for having me on your radio show! Check out all the amazing things she is doing on Stephanie's Website or connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.   The main thing to remember about PRE-Thank You idea is that we are using gratitude to shift our thinking from, "How can you serve me?" to "How can I make your life Better because we met?"  Here are a few more ideas (and scripts) on how to incorporate Pre-Thank you into your life on a daily basis.   School: Send a Pre-thank to your kids' teachers/principals at the beginning of school.   Work: Send a Pre-Thank you to the event organizer of a conference or event you're about to attend. Employers at the beginning of every day- mingle about your office and tell your employees "I'm glad you're here today- Thanks for doing a great job" Association meetings send the guest speaker a pre-thank you for coming to your meeting. They may be coming on their own dime; a little pr

Now I like to have fun just as much as the next guy - possibly more. And I like a good challenge too.  But when I signed on the dotted line to run the Las Vegas Rock and Rock Marathon in November of this year, I had no idea how 'not fun' the training would be. How much I would have to give up. How much I would have to invest - both literally and figuratively.    Time, money, energy, resources not to mention the blood, sweat and tears.   As the weeks of training began to unfold I waited for the runner's high to kick in. I waited for the fun to begin. I waited for something to shift in my mindset so that I too would catch the 'running  bug' or experience the famous (yet elusive) runner's high.    I ran and I ran. I ran in sun, I ran in rain, I ran in old shoes and new shoes. I ran slow and fast (mostly slow). I even bought $20 runner socks (whatever the heck those are).   Nothing. I don't like it. It's hard. It makes me sweaty and sore and uncomfortable.   Not everyt

One of my favourite things to do is to get a glimpse inside someone else's world. Well, not in a creepy, peer through your window sort of way, just in a way that helps me to learn and grow and appreciate.    And that was the incentive to spend an afternoon with Crash Test Dummies' drummer extraordinaire, Mitch Dorge.    A south end Winnipeg boy, this guy's heart is a big as his talent. And his patience, as I found out recently is even bigger! Did you know that when he is not in his studio adding music to our world he is out speaking to and inspiring students across the country? Yep, it's true and did you know that he is like the world's best hugger? Also true.    But I digress…    Recently I was privileged to be in his recording studio for my first, and quite likely my only, drum lesson. To get an idea of what this experience was like imagine an Olympic athlete trying to teach a kindergartener their sport. To say he had to dumb-it-down was an understatement!&nb