This Is Actually Happening

“I had no reference point of how to live or behave or anything….It was like this cocoon had been just ripped away from me, and I didn’t know what my beliefs really were.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: A man searches to find love for himself and his family after facing the dark consequences of being disfellowshipped by the Jehovah’s Witness.Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, molestation, suicidal ideation, alcohol and drug abuse, addiction, mental illness, domestic abuse, suicide attempt, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://

“I honestly think that if the mom I grew up with hadn’t given me such a great sense of self-esteem, I don’t think I would have lasted as long under this current strange mother that I was now stuck with.” Today’s episode featured Wren Feeney. Wren lives her life surrounded by pets and people who love her, and yet spends her free time writing horror. If you'd like to read her work, or just reach out and say hi, visit wrenfeeney.com for stories and contact information. Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: A woman’s happy childhood with her single mother unexpectedly takes a bewildering, dark turn, leading to a moment that will change everythingSocial Media:This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: alcoholism, child neglect, sexual solicitation of a m

“I kept thinking there’s no way that God is going to let this happen to me…What could I have done in my life to deserve what’s going on right now.” Today’s episode features Jessie Bains. If you’d like to contact her, you can reach out at jbains21@gmail.com. Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman growing up in a sheltered life with conservative parents is taken from her driveway one night and led into a darkness she never could have fathomed.Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comContent/Trigger Warnings: kidnapping, rape, violent sexual assault, graphic violence, graphic sexual imagery, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Co

“It was like I was in a whole other universe for like five to ten minutes just walking around, like I couldn’t function, I didn’t know what to do.” Today’s episode featured Miles. You can reach out to Miles by emailing him at Miles1357@yahoo.com. Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: A man searches for healing after his father, a disgruntled post office worker, falls into a violent downward spiral.Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Content/Trigger Warnings: suicide, mental illness, graphic violent imagery, workplace abuse, sexual harassment, explicit languageWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Eng

“Your whole sense of reality has been shaken so much that you question what is even real any more.” Today's episode featured Melissa. You can find more about her on Instagram @littleredmeli or on Medium, https://medium.com/@littleredmeli Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpisode Summary: Growing up in the Mormon church, a woman follows a structured path to love and marriage, but what hides underneath threatens to unravel everything she’s built.Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusContent/Trigger Warnings: sexual abuse, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, explicit languageSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with

“The best way I can explain how it feels to not be believed is just profound loneliness…To not know where to turn to seek advice or to get a hug, I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpisode Summary: After her parents’ divorce a girl’s relationship with her mother tailspins until a shocking accusation throws everything into chaos.Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusContent/Trigger Warnings: domestic abuse, parental abuse, mental illness, attempted murder, alcoholism, addiction, explicit languageSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Disc

Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Whit Missildine, host of This Is Actually Happening and The Long Shadow, and Dan Taberski, host of Missing Richard Simmons and 9/12, discuss 9/11 and their approaches to their respective series honoring the tragedy.Today, as part of our series, The Long Shadow, honoring the 20th anniversary of September 11th, we bring you an interview between me and Dan Taberski. Dan is the host of the podcast Missing Richard Simmons, Running from Cops, and, most recently, The Line. His new show is called 9/12, and the series is about what happened after 9/11: How 9/11 the day became 9/11 the idea, and how that idea has shaped the world, our culture, and ourselves for the past 20 years. While my series focuses on the deep personal histories, experiences of the day itself, and the long aftermath for people who have experienced the tragedy up close, Dan’s series takes a sweeping look at the cultural, social, political and conspiratorial implications of 9/11 and what it means for u

“The surrealism of the experience just it was hard to fathom…here we were in a clothing store being asked to do these sort of impossible thing.” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: In the aftermath of September 11th, 2001 a cardiologist volunteers to help process the body parts from those who lost their lives in a temporary morgue inside a Brooks Brothers department store.Today’s episode featured Sandeep Jauhar. Sandeep has written three books. His first book, "Intern: A Doctor's Initiation," "Doctored: The Disillusionment of an American Physician," and his latest book, "Heart: A History," tells the colorful and little-known story of the doctors who risked their careers and the patients who risked their lives to know and heal our most vital organ. A practicing cardiologist, Jauhar is currently a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times. He has appeared frequently on National Public Radio, CNN, and MSNBC to discuss issues related to medicine, and his essays have also been published i

“You try not to think about the fact that you really think you’re going to die here…that it’s totally out of control.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: On September 11th, 2001, the first female firefighter in the New York City Fire Department confronts the impossible tasks of that day and the skewed narratives that followed.Today's episode featured Captain (ret.) Brenda Berkman. Since her retirement from the New York City Fire Department in 2006, Brenda serves as a volunteer guide at the 9/11 Memorial, is Vice-President for Programs for the women’s history organization Monumental Women (monumentalwomen.org) and pursues her passion for printmaking, specializing in stone lithography. You can see her artwork at www.brendaberkmanartworks.com.Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs bro

“It’s not like there was time to ponder your fate…you just thought, we’re powerless to get out of the building….This is it.” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A Port Authority employee narrowly escapes from the 68th floor after a plane hits the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001, but the most devastating impact comes from the psychological wounds that haunt her life for decades after. Today's episode featured Kayla Bergeron. In addition to serving as chief of public and government affairs for The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, Kayla has also served in senior roles for the New York State Housing Finance Agency and South Florida Water Management District, the lead agency restoring America's Everglades. Kayla currently resides in Suwanne, Georgia and serves as Program Director, and as a Certified Peer Support Specialist -Addictive Disease (C.P.S.- A.D.), for The Connection Forsyth, a 501c3 non profit recovery community organization, b

“The world looks like it’s coming to an end, and another cloud comes over…Everything goes dark, and the world is covered in dust.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: On September 11th, 2001 an ER Doctor finds himself in charge of the closest emergency room to the Twin Towers.Today's episode featured Tony Dajer. Tony was born in New York City, grew up in Puerto Rico, and has been practicing as an ER Doctor in New York for 30 years. You can read one of Tony's articles called "Vital Signs" featured in Discover Magazine at www.discovermagazine.com/health/vital-signs-37.This episode is part of a special, four-part series called The Long Shadow. Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th repr

“There’s really no way to explain how it feels when you realize one decision you made in an instant altered the life of everyone around you.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A woman who finally finds her sense of purpose after a tumultuous upbringing realizes a mother’s ultimate horror.Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follo

“All the reality that I had been putting off, and all of the denial, it all crashed in on me.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: Growing up in the closet with a mentally ill mother, a man finds his true love, but as their past continues to weigh in, the only remedy he knows threatens to consume everything he’s built.Today's episode featured Gabriel. Gabriel is now a psychiatric social worker and licensed therapist in Orange County, California. You can find out more about Gabriel on Instagram @gabriel.emmm. Website for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with th

“I was too ashamed to reach out and say, ‘Look, I don’t understand what’s happening, I think I’m going crazy…please help me.’” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpisode Summary: Following early experiences of isolation and bullying, a man assigned female at birth finds a beautiful friendship, that soon descends into a bewildering cycle of gaslighting and obsession.    Today's episode featured Vel Ryder. You can find out more about Vel on Twitter and Instagram @whiskeyandspite. Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This

“When I knew I was dying, I knew that I wasn’t going to have the anxiety or the OCD brain, it was just going to be over.” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman with severe harm OCD encounters the many faces of death and dying but finds renewal in caring for others and ultimately herselfToday's episode featured Rachel. You can find out more about her on Facebook at fb.com/RachelHillestad. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online

“That’s me, and I’m dead. But if that’s me, then who am I?” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: After surviving a brutal upbringing in the South Bronx, a man finds himself on the other side of death following a minor accident and returns with a profound awakening. Today's episode featured Jose Hernandez. You can find out more about Jose and the work he is doing at: https://innerimmersion.org where you can sign up to join the community and participate in the free Monthly conversations, "Evening Joe". To learn more about Jose's art check out his gallery at https://www.josehernandezfineart.com.You can see Jose featured in the Netflix docuseries, "Surviving Death.” If you're interested in learning more about near-death experiences, Jose will be a featured speaker at the IANDS conference this year. IANDS stands for the International Association for Near Death Studies. He will be presenting "Embracing the Masculine: Helping Men make the Shift into the New Paradigm" wit

"No one can even understand. You can't measure the magnitude of that pain. You can't measure the pain that we went through." Producer: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A refugee recounts her experience of the horror and devastation of the Rwandan genocide. This episode is part of the Summer 2021 rebroadcast series, featuring listener favorites from the back catalogue. All episodes in this rebroadcast series were released prior to episode #130, which are currently exclusive to the Wondery Plus. Today’s episode originally aired as #113 in August 2018Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSocial Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Co

"The hardest part is that I still don't have any answers...what came into my house that night?" Producer: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A musician is sideswiped by a sudden break into a nightmarish world that will not let him go This episode is part of the Summer 2021 rebroadcast series, featuring listener favorites from the back catalogue. All episodes in this rebroadcast series were released prior to episode #130, which are currently exclusive to the Wondery Plus. Today’s episode originally aired as #103 in November 2017Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSocial Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This

“It was just full chills over my body, tears in my eyes, it was that moment of I don’t know, I don’t understand, I don’t know.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: A woman who seeks awakening through myriad healing practices finds her ultimate challenge when she goes missing in a Maui forest. Today's episode featured Dr. Amanda Eller. You can find out more about Amanda by going to AmandaEllerPT.com. You can also find her on Instagram: @amandaeellerAnd on Facebook: @amandaeeller. Amanda is currently living on the island of Maui and is offering her healing services to both the local and global community through in-person and online sessions.   Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningShow Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: https://jasonblalock.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all

“The not knowing is awful, and it’s awful from day one and it’s awful thirty years later, but every day that goes by you get more and more in reality.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: Decades after her brother disappeared in the early 1980s, a woman becomes deeply involved in the search for a missing friend.  Today’s episode featured Sarah Haynes. Somebody out there knows something about her brother Jon Haynes, who went missing in Boulder July 1981 just days after arriving for college. If you know anything, please contact the Boulder police department. There is a $10,000 reward for info leading to his body, his car, or for information about who may have harmed him https://apps.colorado.gov/apps/coldcase/casedetail.html?id=258 Sarah’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/sarahspitfire  Her animal sanctuary on Maui is called Kitty Charm Farm and the Facebook page is:https://www.facebook.com/KittyCharmFarm Website for Jason Blalock: h