This Is Actually Happening

“The feeling of unknowing while you’re going through that is probably the strongest, most terrifying feeling I’ve ever felt.” Today’s episode featured Matt Boman. You can find out more about Matt on Instagram @studioboman , on his website, studioboman.com, and you can check out his car’s tik tok page @the_namastang . If you’d like to contact him directly, you can email him at matt@studioboman.com Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A man suffers a serious injury after a drunken fight, but in its wake, a deeper unhealed wound festers that leads to an act of hate.   Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: hate crime, graphic violence, graphic medical scenarios, explicit language  Episode Sponsors: Impact by Int

“I was just terrified, just the not knowing what was happening or what was even going on in my own body…and I was so confused and hurt and scared.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Sara Marinelli Episode Summary: Just before coming into adolescence, a young girl experiences an unspeakable trauma, but a bigger horror begins once she reveals her secret. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.comInstagram for Sara Marinelli: @saramarinelli1Content/Trigger Warnings: rape, sexual abuse of a minor, threats of extreme violence, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Sh

“It’s just terror, it’s just fear with no object…It’s so purely guttural and instinctive it’s almost like the prey of a tiger…the moment that it knows it’s about to be ripped apart.”Today's episode featured Neil Woods. You can find out more about Neil by going to neilwoods.net, where you can also find links to his two books: Good Cop, Bad War and Drug Wars, with more about his own experience and about the War on Drugs in Britain. To find out more about his organization, LEAP, or Law Enforcement Action Partnership, go to lawenforcementactionpartnership.org. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up with a sense of heroic duty, a man becomes a cop fighting the drug war, when the sobering realities of his job lead him to profound awakening. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits:

“I felt like I went through a portal into this evil place…and I immediately knew that we were in a whole different world.” Today’s storyteller requested to remain anonymous. However, if you’d like to contact her, you can reach out through email at foundatsea9@gmail.com Producers: Whit Missildine, Sara Marinelli Episode Summary: Growing up evangelical in the Purity movement of the 1990s, a woman constructs the ideal life, when piece by piece, her image of family, marriage and her identity begin to be dismantled. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/  Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Sara Marinelli: saramarinelli.comInstagram for Sara Marinelli: @saramarinelli1 Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual abuse, sexual abuse of a minor, suicidal tendency, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part

“Because so much of my life when I’d seen things happening I’d been told that it wasn’t really happening, I think my brain kind of formed to think that reality was not real.” Today’s guest requested to remain anonymous, but if you’d like to contact her, you can email at: kbojangles5@gmail.com. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A woman struggles to break out of her role caretaking a father who was haunted by his experiences in Vietnam, but when both of their worlds unravel, she must find a new source of strength.   Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/  Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com Content/Trigger Warnings: graphic violence, graphic bodily injury, graphic images of war, rape, mental illness, derealization, suicidal ideation, death, explicit language Wondery Plus: All epi

“What it felt like was - I am absolutely here, but this is not happening to us…This is not happening at all.” Today’s episode featured John W. Evans. John is the author of three award-winning books. His poems and essays appear in Slate, The Missouri Review, ZYZZYVA, Poets & Writers, and have been listed as Notable in Best American Essays. He is the Nancy Draper Lecturer of Creative Nonfiction at Stanford University. His author website is www.johnwevans.com. Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A newly married man traveling the world with the love of his life faces unimaginable horror on a hiking trail in Romania. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: graphic violence, graphic bodily injury, de

“I would look in the mirror and my eyes wouldn’t focus because it was like my brain wasn’t registering that that was me…I literally saw a stranger in the mirror.” Today's episode featured Grace Hartman. You can find out more about Grace on Instagram @graceAhartman or contact her through email at grace@hartman.net.  Producers: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: Soon after coming into adolescence, a woman develops flu-like symptoms of an unknown illness that continue to progress until it alters her forever. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com  Content/Trigger Warnings: suicidal ideation, severe illness, disfiguration, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free,

“People who are grieving a serious loss, and you’re staring into the abyss, they understand intimately the loss that we are all going to face, what we all will see.”Today's episode featured Frank Vaughan. If you'd like to reach out to Frank, you can email him at f.vaughan@verizon.net. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: At the peak of his life, having built a successful marriage, family and career, a man faces a series of compound losses that put him through a dark night of the soul. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/  Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com  Content/Trigger Warnings: cancer, terminal illness, alcoholism, death, animal death, compound loss, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium serv

“I didn’t get a chance to know who I was or who I should have become, and I will never know that person.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: After a girl is saved from her abusive father, she finds solace in her mother’s protection, but when her mother meets a new man, an even greater menace threatens to take everything.  Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/  Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com Content/Trigger Warnings: abuse of a child, graphic domestic violence, threat of murder, threat of rape, molestation of a minor, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Sh

“Now I know that half of me it’s a lie where does that leave me who am I who is this person it’s like you entirely lose your identity and I feel like I almost have to start again to figure out who I am because I lost it.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A woman who always felt different is compelled to hold a shocking secret that could shatter the family illusion. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening&

“If life is so fragile, death can come to you anytime any day in any place.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A man who always felt like he didn’t belong in his own house wakes up one morning to a surreal tragedy. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com Content/Trigger Warnings: mental illness, graphic bodily injury, death, description of a corpse, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially

“All that stuff I went through, the abuse, the physical, verbal, everything was not rock bottom for me….Me realizing that I was being abusive to people I loved, that was my rock bottom.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A woman struggles to free herself from the catastrophic consequences of an obsession with a man she cannot leave Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com  Content/Trigger Warnings: infant death, domestic violence, graphic domestic abuse, near death, abortion, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The

“I just thought this is not happening, like how could this be happening? This isn’t supposed to happen…I felt like it was my fault.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: An obstetrician must find healing and forgiveness after an unexpected tragedy opens old wounds. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/  Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual molestation of a minor, incest, death, infant death, pregnancy trauma, medical trauma, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Sh

“It’s never given that you’re going to be here tomorrow or in the next hour. You’ve got to respect that and you’ve got to live your life accordingly.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A man goes on a duck hunt with his friends, when a freak accident changes everything.  Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: medical trauma, shooting, graphic bodily injury, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually

“Is this really happening? Like, is this really my reality? I’m questioning myself as to whether or not I was crazy and had I really seen what I just saw.”Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up in a strict, sheltered household, a woman must confront a new reality when her older sister, who was the glue of her family and her identity, begins to fall apart.   Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com  Content/Trigger Warnings: teen pregnancy, abortion, alcohol and drug abuse, mental illness, schizophrenia, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.c

“We are not necessarily who we think we are…There are more paradoxes in life than things that make sense.” Today’s episode featured Kim. You can find out more about her and her writings at her Myth and Medicine blog on Patreon: patreon.com/mythandmedicine  Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: From the ashes of her own descent into severe mental illness, a nurse finds resilience to face her job’s gravest challenges. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.comContent/Trigger Warnings: domestic abuse, self-harm, cutting, suicidal ideation, sexual assault, suicide attempt, drug addiction, COVID death, animal abuse and death, hallucinations of war, abduction, beating and rape, and loss of child, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to epis

“Time stopped while my brain was trying to catch up, and I was horrified I was confused I was bewildered I was panicked…just a wave of all of that came over me.” Today’s episode featured Kate Solberg. You can find out more about Kate on Instagram @ka.solberg03Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt Volla Episode Summary: After her first marriage falls apart, a woman has a second chance at a dream family, but growing suspicions lead her to unimaginable revelations.  Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Matt Volla: mattvolla.com Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual exploitation of a minor, child pornography, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for W

“I was like a walking dead. I was just a shell, but I couldn’t stop…my soul was gone.” Producer: Whit MissildineGuest: Kenneth Ginlack Sr. Episode Summary: Growing up in the projects and a broken home, a man learns survive on the streets through dealing drugs and brutal violence, when a desperate moment leaves him with a choice that changes everything. Today’s episode featured Kenneth Ginlack, Sr. Kenneth has been the Director of Outpatient Programs for Milwaukee County Behavior Health Division (BHD), an ad-hoc instructor at the University of Wisconsin Continuing Education extension program, president of the board of directors for Revive Youth and Family Services, and a board member for SALS Recovery Houses and Coaching. Kenneth is now Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of Serenity Inns. You can find out more about Kenneth by going to kgsctc.com Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039

“My life is so much more fragile than I thought it was, and my existence goes beyond this tiny little place that I live in.” Today’s episode featured Jenna. You can find out more about her on Instagram @jennajacqueline. Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: Breaking away from her childhood, a teenager buries a traumatic encounter in self harm, pushing her to the limits of life and death. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Content/Trigger Warnings: sexual assault, drug use, suicidal ideation, graphic bodily injury, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/p

“It just got too hurtful to think of him in the ground and me still alive…I couldn’t understand the meaning in it.”Today’s episode featured Hayley Ross. If you’d like to reach out to Hayley you can contact her at kattannie@yahoo.com. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: Growing up in an abusive household, a woman struggles to find meaning in her life, when one night, a sudden, unexpected, violent attack changes her life forever. Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningThis Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWebsite for Andrew Waits: www.andrdewwaits.com  Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, physical abuse, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, sexual assault, graphic violence, graphic bodily injury, murder, explicit language Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To