The Chick Whisperer Podcast

Well, two podcasts dropping on two holidays in a row means it's a moral imperative to have Emily back on again, especially since 2020 has finally drawn to a close and it's time to address 2021. What will the 'new normal' look like insofar as dating and relationships go? How soon until we can actually get there? What unexpected surprises might be in store for all of us, whether we're currently in a relationship or looking forward to getting into one? What can be observed from past pandemics and applied to the current dating situation? What are the perhaps untold truths about how men and women have been relating together all along for the last nine months? And what about some real-world strategies for making damn skippy sure 2021 is far better than 2020? How much of that is really within our control, anyway? Are we really going to be doomed to endless suggestions for 'Zoom dating'? Where can our source of optimism come from in a world where many believe it's as bad as it gets and won't get better anytime soon?

Last week on this very show I said out loud that I had never met anyone in a happy relationship who was miserable. That concept is worth a deeper discussion, and who better to have it with than the very woman I'm in a happy relationship with? Now obviously, one can be perfectly happy without being in any relationship at all, for sure. But right out of the gate, Emily floats several more complicated scenarios; asking if someone can be happy despite a miserable relationship, if miserable people necessarily get into equally miserable relationships, or if two people miserable in the same way can somehow contort themselves into their mutually-agreeable form of bliss together. But first things first. We define 'misery' in clear terms, then call out the 'elephant in the room' with regard to whether COVID lockdowns have wrought more relationship misery even among typically happy couples. What about couples who argue constantly, aren't they inherently miserable...or not necessarily? What happens when people who love d

I told Emily I was having the guy from Origin on my show, and she responded, 'War Engine? What's that?' Well, I got someone who is arguably just as cool. I'm joined by none other than Pete Roberts, host of the Hands and Daylight podcast and leader of the pack over at Origin. What you'll notice first about Pete is he's an all-around good dude who is clearly proud to be a man and walks the walk. We tackle the subject of everyday masculinity, meaning the little things we as men do--or should be doing--on a consistent basis. For starters, discover the mindset that mature, evolved men know is foundational to manhood, yet which young men almost always exhibit the exact opposite of...even as they think they're more macho by doing so. Next, how does a man handle daily interactions with both women AND other men, including over social media? Then I share my personal lesson from a Navy SEAL on how to be more of a man in the most subtle but powerful of ways. Is it true that if you don't have the capacity to be violent, y

In the last episode we talked in depth about the concept of self-awareness. This time, we turn our attention to the idea of self-worth. Obviously, this is all about how much value we assign to ourselves and is closely tied to self-respect. My guest is Kamini Wood, who as a mother of five knows the struggle is real to find time in life for self-ANYTHING. Nevertheless, she has given tons of thought to this topic and has arrived at the conclusion that most of us basically do the equivalent of outsourcing our self-worth. So what does that even MEAN, exactly? What other areas of self-evaluation and reflection is it tied to? How do particularly smart and/or analytical guys struggle? What can we do to guard against feeling like a Lone Ranger in the midst of all of this self-worth stuff? And what is the right way and the wrong way to involve others, lest we indeed not outsource our own self-worth? Why do men struggle so much with 'strong vulnerability', therefore suffering through tough patches that could have been a

My guest is Marine Corps Lt. Colonel Ann Bernard, who as head of 365 Firsts currently advocates for getting out of our infamous comfort/familiarity zones to try new and exciting adventures. Interestingly enough, she says much of our wherewithal in that regard comes from self-awareness. Now, I fully realize 'self-awareness' is one of those terms that may mean different things to different people, but in this episode you're in for one of the clearest and most direct descriptions of it ever. In addition to finding out the practical elements of it, you'll discover the symptoms of lacking self-awareness...and how a scary amount of guys don't even realize they do (which makes sense, if you think about it). So then, is this all related to identity, maturity and some of the other concepts we talk about frequently around here or is it something else completely? Can you actually have too much self-awareness? I mean, wouldn't that lead to self-consciousness (which is different!) and hyper-analysis issues? And on that no

When you get right down to it, if you're on a team your coaches and your cheerleaders have something important in common. They're both on your side, and they both want you to win. So it's really no wonder that a former Phoenix Suns cheerleader like my co-host Bee Evans would go on to become a professional coach. More specifically, Bee is a resilience coach, and one of her biggest soapboxes is 'tearing out the tags'. What's up with the human tendency to slap a label on everything and everyone? I mean, do face-value assertions and preconceived notions really serve the greater good? You can imagine the sneaky effect this kind of psychology has wrought upon relationships between men and women, let alone everyone else. Well, this episode's discussion starts with a disarming look at how Bee views her time with the Phoenix Suns nowadays compared to how she did in the moment, and it'll be no surprise that it has plenty to do with public stereotype versus objective reality. That leads to an eye-opening discussion of h

With the recent passing of Sir Sean Connery, there couldn't be a better time to celebrate the rich legacy of Ian Fleming's James Bond, particularly as played by the OG himself. We begin with a brief discussion of Connery's legacy of smooth, debonair masculinity on film, which despite his perhaps ironic off-screen issues with women in real life stands as nothing short of iconic. So if you've never seen a Sean Connery Bond flick, where should you start? And why even watch at all? I mean, what can we gain by studying the persona of Connery's 007, from his 'alpha' demeanor to his calm, cool and collected style with women? What are the takeaways from that for our real lives, meeting and interacting with real women? Is it feasible to actually live like James Bond, even if only on some levels...and only part way? And what is it about Connery's Bond in particular that is so magnetic to women? Speaking of women, what makes 'Bond Girls' in particular so exotic, alluring and downright desirable? And on the other hand, i

Well, now I've done it. I went and got a creativity coach as a guest co-host. His name is Jeff Leisawitz from Seattle, and you're in for a show that's guaranteed by its very nature to be fun, entertaining AND interesting. To start off, we all know it's not exactly easy to simply be creative at the drop of a hat. Therefore, we define creativity in, well...some truly creative terms. That quickly leads us to the sobering conclusion that despite what many think, creativity isn't really an optional 'luxury item'. It's absolutely integral to a life well-lived. But fear not, Jeff has an elegant way to tune your mind up for greater levels of creativity...all centered around one basic mindset shift. Here's a hint: plenty of us need to have a more creative vision of creativity itself. Is it really true there's no such thing as an original thought? What is it that separates mere talent from truly legendary status? And on a far less lofty level, how does Jeff coax guys to start thinking 'out of the box' for once? What ha

The idea for this episode on dying well--or dying gallantly and with dignity, if you will--has been on my radar screen for quite a while. The issue was finding the right guest to make it as powerful a show as it deserves to be. Enter my new friend Larry Indiviglia. First off, Larry is a United States Naval Academy graduate, so he knows plenty about duty, honor and sacrifice. On top of that, however, he had the particularly notable experience just this year of meeting a woman who was dying of cancer, falling in love, and being by her side until the very end. He has written a book about that experience, and in this show shares his unique and powerful thoughts of a life well-lived to the very last breath. So for starters, what exactly does it mean to die well? Despite the archetypal theme of going out in a blaze of glory, is that reasonable--or even possible? Why are such themes in stories like Gran Torino and Breaking Bad so incredibly fascinating and alluring to us as men? Is it necessarily true that we die al

Get ready for an empowering, uplifting show at precisely the time in history when we could all use it. My long-time friend and all-around nice lady Iris Benrubi joins me to talk about personal power. In particular, we're revealing and discussing those little hidden places in your life where you can actually DO something. But to start off, we wonder aloud why so many people seem to actively want to retreat into victimhood, despite the negative impact that has on confidence and self-esteem. It's no wonder that the idea of personal agency all starts with figuring out what we actually want and how to get it, right? And is it true you're going to end up exactly like your parents, no matter what? Could it be true that doing the exact opposite of what you're conditioned to could be just as disempowering as simply falling in line with groupthink? How does the tangle between opportunity and consequences affect our psychological mindset? Do we really have to hit rock bottom and lose all that makes us comfortable before

Okay, here it is. We don't talk about marriage very often on this show. Simply put, it's a topic that tends to polarize the audience. Nevertheless, you really can't expect to cover all of the bases when it comes to dating and relationships without ever addressing it. Enter my guest Amy Schoen, who specializes in the field of marriage readiness. Together she and I decided that a particularly fun and useful angle would be to talk about what it means to be 'marriage material'. Now, to be sure this pretty much aligns with the concepts of 'boyfriend material' and 'girlfriend material'. So then, this show offers equal opportunity visibility into what indicates long-term potential for either a man or a woman. Interestingly enough, even when women aren't particularly looking for a serious relationship, they still tend to be super-attracted to men with qualities that indicate long-term potential. Perhaps weirdly, that is even often the case when they're looking for a quick fling. So do I have your attention yet? What

My guest is best known for his work on introversion, but the topic of this show is sure to hit the target regardless of your personality type. At its essence, it's all about how to be influential. So what's the right way and the wrong way to do that? I mean, isn't attention seeking for insecure, needy guys and self-promotion for douches? And hold on...isn't this whole desire to be seen, known, remembered somewhat narcissistic at its very core? Well, none of that is necessarily true. That can only mean there's an altogether better and more effective way to be truly memorable, which Nick and I discuss in sometimes alarming, at times unexpected, but always encouraging detail. And let's not kid ourselves. Even if you're not entirely motivated to conquer the world and leave your mark on a grand scale, that relatively low-key lifestyle you're content with may even be at risk if you fail to be influential in any measurable way. So then, what are the first outward steps to having more of an impact on those around us?

Everyone has heard about how men have a feminine side and women a masculine one. How true is that? And if it's the case, how does the concept typically manifest itself? Is it a good thing, or is it something we would be better off minimizing the effects of? And wait a minute...are the traits and behaviors that we somewhat automatically consider masculine or feminine really such, or are they simply human? What if all of this is just a social construct to begin with? But what if it isn't? Then what? Does that change the whole perspective? I mean, if masculinity is 'toxic' as we're led to believe nowadays, why are so many women trying to act like men? What if we all migrated toward the feminine instead? But can't there be such a thing as 'toxic femininity' in that case? After all, is femininity always 'soft' and inherently innocuous? And what of the idea that masculine dominance is sexy to women...how can that be? How come there are tomboys but no such thing as a tomgirl? What do single moms have to do with all

Fresh off of his Oval Office interview with The President, author and editor of America's 1st Freedom Magazine Frank Miniter returns to the show for a deep dive into how to rise above all the fearmongering going on in today's media. As Kipling wrote, a real man keeps his head when all about him are losing theirs, and this episode gets to the heart of that matter. To begin with, what exactly is it that's driving a culture of non-stop fearmongering these days? Can it really be only about the election...and will it therefore stop after November 3rd? What decidedly human element is nearly always lacking in a culture of fearmongering, yet acts as the perfect antidote for it? How can you be a flat-out disruptive force against rampant fear right now in a way that will make women love, love, love you for it? And how about fear itself...what is it? Is it binary? Should we learn how to deal with it and perhaps harness it, or eliminate it altogether? You'll hear what famous men of courage have said about that in the pas

Far too much conversation nowadays has been reduced to ad hominem name calling, especially on social media. There's no question it's pedantic, anti-masculine and therefore decidedly unattractive to women. Nevertheless, it seems like emotions are running at a fever pitch and sober judgment is going out the window. In the midst of all that, how do we secure our rightful place as mature, civil men of character? And what can we do to reclaim it if we've found ourselves slipping lately? Well, my guest Ed Wynn is best known for his political commentary, but his latest book We The People gets to the heart of the subject du jour. So what's the best way to set the tone for a civil conversation from the very start? How can you guard against falling into the trap of sneaky internet trolls? Why is it people nowadays have turned everything political, are so dogmatic and judge different views so harshly? Has narrative-driven cognitive dissonance really replaced rational logic? Is it really possible to 'choose truth over fa

Let's face it, everything about the year 2020 thus far has compelled most people to hide in their homes for fear of going out in public. My guest today is the author of Live Great Lifestyle and The Lean Body Guide, and his number one battle these days is helping men just like you and I to stand up and get back out there. So then, we know the obvious reasons why so many of us have become homebodies these days, but what are the sneakier, more subtle ones? For starters, have you put on the 'lockdown 15' and want to get rid of it? What are some ways you can take back both your physical and psychological well-being? And how do you do that if you've lost your job, let alone have the time, money or wherewithal to figure out where to meet women nowadays? What if 2020 has delivered a major hit to your confidence in general? What kind of havoc does that wreak on your mental toughness...sometimes in dangerously subtle ways? How might this year be wearing on you such that you're less attractive to women? So what it reall

My guest is one of those guys who had the grit and determination to go 'all in' on his dreams, laying it all on the line to become a pro basketball player. Even more fascinating is the story of how he eventually found his larger calling of empowering young athletes to greatness, while inspiring all of us to find our game and be at the top of it. Now, if you're like me, basketball isn't exactly your most marketable skill. But no worries, Dre Baldwin's message will motivate you to take your game to the next level, whatever it is. So for sure, we talk hoops some to get the show rolling, but you know how sneaky I am. It takes about a minute and a half before we're tying it all back to having the heart of a champion, overachieving and breaking apart any roadblocks standing in our way. That conversation had to start with none other than Mike, of course. What was it about MJ that was so transcendent in terms of redefining what it means to be at the top of one's game? As for Dre himself, how did he go from pro basket

When my guest Jed Jurchenko first got married, he assumed everything would go wonderfully because, well...that's how it's supposed to work, right? Little did he know he was in for a total train wreck. Emerging from that rocky first marriage, Jed sought to understand how to build a relationship around mutual trust, a sane mindset and solid communication skills. Indeed, it's not that couples won't ever disagree, but what is the best way to handle conflict when it arises? Well, for starters you'll discover the number one best philosophy for virtually eliminating hateful, spiteful arguments...and it might not be what you think. What's the best way to effectively resolve an argument, and how exactly do you know when it has indeed been resolved? What are examples of 'atomic bombs' that should be avoided at all costs during relational conflict? If you have a long history of being 'Mr. Nice Guy' in relationships, what are the ramifications of that? And how can you proactively guard against future arguments even as yo

What do you get when you have a guy who looks like Tyler Childers but talks with a Mid-Atlantic accent? Someone completely different than you're used to, and that's my main man and fellow dating coach for men Ryan Black. As it turns out, he and I are both getting asked the same question over and over nowadays, and that's how in the world to meet women given the present state of things. Well, you have questions, and we have answers...starting with a look at how the situation is both radically different from AND exactly the same as it ever was. How has the COVID-19 lockdown impacted our dating lives in unexpected ways? Speaking of which, how does wearing a mask really, truly affect approaching, meeting and attracting women? And more importantly, what do you DO about it? For sure, the pandemic isn't exactly over just yet, but what are the real reasons why women seem to be shying away from actually meeting in-person, even as the world has started opening back up? You can absolutely expect real, practical ways to

Returning guest Helena Nista is a sex therapist, tantra practitioner and author of Legendary Lover. She was a major hit with you guys the first time she was on due to her straightforward yet happy-go-lucky style, all the while absolutely free of shame while exuding pure class and femininity. That's a winning combination, so I invited her back this time to discuss how we as men should talk to women about orgasms...then actually give them all they can handle. What better place to start such a conversation than with the idea of 'mental foreplay'? Why is it that women can talk so naturally about sexual matters, yet most men freak out over it? Should we even talk about sex at all? Why not just make a move when the time is right? But wait a minute...when exactly IS the right time? Dial up the flirtation, thrill women to the moon and back, and make them come back for more. Helena spills all the secrets, and is as charming as ever as she does. And how about when we're actually in the bedroom? How can we guard against