Simple Saturdays

I have been researching goals and habits since we started setting them in 2015. You can hear Conor share his take on doing this work as a couple in this episode.  Over the years I have searched to the ends of Pinterest and tried a lot of strategies to create habits for myself. I was doing this work fueled by the notion that I had to become a morning person now that I was a mom. I was thinking that habits would make me the optimal human, efficient and productive.  I have since learned to bring grace into it. Chase habits that make me feel purposeful rather than productive, and to set goals and habits in line with my personal vision for the areas of my life.    Four simple habits that make my momlife better 1. Having vegetables for breakfast.  This is part of my 'food uniform' that I try to have for breakfasts and lunches.  What I used to eat was sweet and carby and I was feeling crappy and shaky after breakfast. Then I did the Whole30 (here are 11 things I learned doing the Whole30) and weaned myself off

Andrea is a Registered Dietician who is here to talk with me about our relationship to food and teaching our kids a healthy relationship with food I also had a secret motive in asking her on because I had questions about how to handle food with my kids. I know I’m undoing a lot of cultured rules, how I was raised, my own biases, and I want to be mindful about how I teach my kids, especially my daughter, about the health of food without the food guilt or body shame.       In this conversation we will cover: Common struggles that women have when it comes to their relationship with food Emotional eating can be a common situation that happens in motherhood The ‘diet culture’ pressure that moms have to ‘drop the weight’ can lead to restrictive and unsustainable approaches to food Using food to manage our emotions (my own experience with emotional eating in motherhood) Using food as a way to control our bodies   Healing a heritage of food guilt and body shame We know enough about attachment to know

This is a Q+A episode featuring questions from the Simple Squad (the Simple on Purpose Facebook Community). We are talking about feelings, marriage, seasons of life, parenting and family chores. These answers are coming at you from my life coaching point of view. I am a mom of three kids, trained Life Coach, practical minimalist, and I help moms with intentional living.   Questions covered in this episode: 1. Can you talk about the seasons of life and how we can't do certain things at certain seasons? Related posts with more information on this topic Simplify your life series All posts about Mom Life Expectation overwhelm   2. How do I change my parenting style when my husband is not on board or how can I get him on board...? Related posts with more information on this topic: When your spouse doesn't want to declutter Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Emotional Intelligence 101 (and by Enneagram Type) Book review: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child   3. Meeting adult friends

Expectation overwhelm is when you have a to-do list that is so long that it overwhelms you. This starts a defeating cycle of hustling, beating ourselves up for not doing 'enough', and not really feeling empowered to live a life of purpose.    Feeling productive and the beliefs we have about how we spend our time Coach women a lot on productivity and procrastination They feel like they can’t get things done in the day They want to be better at getting things done.  And it is the same issue on both ends of the spectrum - they are about how we FEEL about how we spend our time.  Did we FEEL we were productive? did we FEEL they procrastinated? Remember our FEELINGS come from our thoughts. So the story we tell ourselves about how we have used our time is going to matter. It will change our experience of how we use our time.    What is expectation overwhelm? Expectation overwhelm is when we have such a long 'should do' list that it constantly overwhelms us. We walk around thinking something is wrong with us th

Do you struggle in your relationship to getting dressed each day? Do you feel guilty for it, or lack confidence in it?  Jaime McLaughlin is a hair and make-up artist who is helping moms take care of themselves without the mom guilt.  In this episode we talk about the internal shifts we can make, the judgments we might have of ourselves and other moms based on what they wear, busting myths around how much money and time it takes to get ready each day, and tips to build a capsule wardrobe   Using the ‘tool’ of getting dressed every day Contesting the views that this is vanity vs a tool to help our personal motivation in our day Considering the areas of our life that we try to sacrifice on the altar of motherhood   Challenging our self-perception and the ‘rules’ we give ourselves on what we wear or don’t wear Making your outcome whatever you want it to be and working backward Aligning with your personal values as you work on getting ready each day   Reasons many stay at home moms have that we don’t get r

When we think about being home with the kids for the summer there can be a lot to dread AND be excited about in this season.  I have found my way out of that mental overwhelm is to make a plan on what what I DO want my summer to be.  Over the years of planning our seasons as a family, we have developed an approach that helps us stay flexible, work around the hurdles and show up even on hard days.  I want to share the main points with you here.    This episode has a companion workbook that takes you step by step through planning out the summer that you and your family want to have.  Get your Summer on Purpose Workbook here.   Planning your days, as a mom I have found so much value in having a plan on what we will do. I started planning when I was home with my babies and have been loving the benefits ever since.  My kids even asked me to schedule their days for them during isolation, and I shared how that went here.    Why should a mom make a plan? To feel in control, rather than scramble for it last

As moms who want to have hobbies and do things they love we get bogged down with notions that we have to monetize our hobby, or that we have to be exceptional at it. We almost use these as measurements to determine if this hobby is 'worth it' in the time, energy, and money it could involve.  I want to pitch the Joy of Being Mediocre and how it can unhook the hustle from the hobby and allow enjoyment to come into the hobby rather than expectation.  Full episode transcript is available at the end of this post   Monetizing hobbies We are living in an age where we are constantly consuming images, captions, and videos of people creating amazing things.  We are also connecting the dots that it is their industry as well Modern career advice tells us to follow our passions and turn our hobbies in jobs.  But there a flip-side to this industrialization of our hobbies:  our hobbies don't NEED to be monetized, and (gasp) we don't even need to be that great at them.    How we have lost touch with our passions and

Do you wish you made time for the things you enjoy? Maybe you aren't sure what hobbies you would like, or you think you aren't 'creative enough' to have hobbies.  I have encouragement for the mom who feels guilty that she doesn't enjoy her time, but also feels guilty when she isn't 'productive enough'  Siobahn Johnes from the Unlocked Creative is sharing her insights and tips to help moms make more time for the things they love to do.      For the woman who says 'I'm just not 'creative'' What it means to be creative Where creativity comes from    How we are made to be creative and use our creativity in the world For the mom who says 'what do I even enjoy? how should I spend my 'creative time'?' Following the breadcrumbs and trying new things The hurdle to exploring the hobbies and routines that you will enjoy Steps you can take to learn what you enjoy in life For the woman who feels like 'creativity' is frivolous or childish Permission to enjoy something just because it is enjoyable P

This is not the house I would have chosen to be my forever home, but over the years I have come to terms with us staying here - but how to reconcile with the dissatisfaction of this home not being exactly what I want.    Acknowledging our home dissatisfaction Recognizing that deep desire to create a space that FEELS like home Addressing the longing we have to change our homes How we handle our dissatisfaction   Working with a partner to build a home together Having different ideas on what a home should be Looking for the ways we both want to create a great place  Owning where we think the grass is greener   Are we entitled when it comes to having an upgraded/ideal home? Addressing the concept of what is 'normal' for how our homes should look Getting overwhelmed to just 'get there already' Asking about what we want, why we want it  Can we consider the costs of having this 'ideal' home   Appreciating the home you have The one question that helped me see the resent I was looking

This is the LIVE recording from a Facebook Live held earlier today in the Simple on Purpose Community group I am answering FAQs and addressing the myths we might have about emotional intelligence and emotion coaching our kids.  I have been emotion coaching my kids for years now and I have noticed such a huge difference in my own relationship to my emotions and how I handle theirs and help them problem solve.  Here are some of the myths and FAQs on emotional intelligence that I am addressing: Why do emotions even matter?!  If I pay attention to their emotions, we can’t have fun anymore cause we’re busy working through upset emotions If I give them empathy, they will think their misbehaviour is ok I don’t have time for more ‘parenting tool’ in my life When they have done something wrong, they should be punished - no need for all this emotion stuff I was never raised to consider my emotions, and I turned out fine   If you want the tools, approach, and support to emotion coach yourself and your

Health class may of taught us about anatomy, maybe our moms taught us about how to manage a period (but if you are like me, you just figured it out on your own reading the pamphlets in confusion and piecing together crumbs from Seventeen magazine). And then we start going through life, having babies, experiencing postpartum, living momlife and we realize that this whole 'WOMAN' thing is more than just knowing what products to use and how to use them. We learn that there is a whole-body wisdom that we need to develop around what our bodies are going through and how to support our bodies.    This is episode is for the woman who is wondering what more she can do to support her whole body with hormone health.   Today I am talking with Dana Irvine from Wise Divine Women Dana is a Canadian teacher, Clinical Thermographer, and podcaster - supporting women with hormone health and wellness.  Looking at life four-fold: mindy, body, soul, nutrition Thermography is an infrared study of the body looking at the hea

As we talked a lot about emotional intelligence, I want to move over to the physical side of emotional awareness. So often we just ignore our bodies and treat them as something that slows us down - but I've learned through experience, health problems, and researching the SCIENCE that listening to our bodies is vital. It helps us have a better awareness of ways we need to respond, more emotional freedom and it brings us out of living on the surface of our thoughts and into the experience of our lives.      Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I will be compensated at no cost to you. What is your relationship to your body? Do you ignore it, do you mistreat it, do you appreciate it, do you have anger towards it? Many of us women experience a range of these sentiments over the decades.  I really realized how I resented my body when I learned I had an autoimmune disease called Graves Disease. You can read about that thyroid condition here, and

I have had some great questions on how to teach our kids emotional intelligence - and I will answer them in this episode. I will also run through the 5 steps I use (and learned from John Gottman) on how to walk our kids through their emotions and misbehaviours - also called emotion coaching.    This episode follows up on 119, about tolerating the emotions in ourselves and in our kids.  The 5 steps to teaching our kids emotional intelligence, as I have learned through the work of John Gottman (my summary of his book is right here)  1. Awareness It takes time and practice to observe how our kids might be feeling. Each of our kids will act a little differently depending on how they are feeling. Boredom looks different in each of our kids.  Emotional awareness is the foundation for understanding what is happening for us internally - because all of this will have an external result in our lives.    2. Emotions are a chance for connection This feels really tough at the moment when our kids are pouting or blamin

I want to run through the steps of teaching your kids emotional intelligence. And to lay the groundwork for that, let's take a minute to explore our relationship to uncomfortable emotions. We are conditioned to view certain emotions as acceptable and unacceptable - and this causes us to have a low tolerance for these emotions that show up in ourselves and in our kids.  Emotional intelligence is important for moms because it helps us to walk them through their own emotions from a more tolerant, accepting, and capable place   Emotional intelligence in our kids We underrate their emotional capacity to observe and internalize the world around them Sometimes we parent the surface level of 'keeping them happy' - aka the Hustle for Happiness, Episode 66 Happy kids cannot be our parenting goal, it is short-sighted and defeating   Raising kids will emotional intelligence is important because it allows our kids to be: more mindful of how their emotions are impacting them less fearful of 'negative' emot

There is an emotional experience of motherhood that can feel dark, angry, exhausting, hopeless. Some of us even experience postpartum depression or other hormonal imbalances that impact our emotional experience.  Is joy still available to us in these really tough times? Does joy mean I'm always happy? Does joy mean it comes easy? Can I find joy in things OUTSIDE of motherhood?     This is my conversation with Jenna about these topics. Jenna is a mom of two (with one on the way) and she hosts The Joy Filled Podcast. She started a podcast to give her a gathering place and build community as she shares her real-time story of walking in joy amongst her struggles with PPD after her firstborn.   Joy filled motherhood Topics we covered in this episode:   Postpartum depression in motherhood looking back and recognizing postpartum depression in yourself seeing when something is 'off' and 'not me'  learning from PPD and deciding what you want to do differently  doing the work of keeping your peace and j

What does it mean to be 'Emotionally Intelligent'? How can this help you in motherhood and your life? I'm sharing the basics of Emotional Intelligence (aka EQ) and giving you my take on where each Enneagram Type can develop and round out their EQ The basics of emotional intelligence In a nutshell, EQ is being aware of feelings and managing those feelings in yourself and in your relationships (socially). I'm looking at the info out there on this topic and summing it up into four major themes of what Emotional Intelligence includes: Emotional Awareness Emotional Self Control Motivation Social Skills   1. Emotional Awareness This is being aware of WHAT you are feeling, WHY you are feeling it, and HOW it affects you and your life.  This is foundational in coaching because it brings in a piece of the puzzle to the thought-feel-act cycle (as per the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy model).  We aren't often paying attention to the low-level emotions we feel through the day, but there is a lot of leverag

This is a bit different of an episode - it is a FUN episode! It is OUR episode - the one where I tell you what is happening behind the scenes and tell you what the reader/listener feedback survey revealed. What I heard from you: Episodes that have helped you Identity Clutter Being a Mom Martyr Who is listening The topics you love to hear about  Yes, we are friends IRL   Why you are here hanging out with me, the podcast, the Facebook Group, and the Simple Saturdays: To remember to slow down To remember it doesn't have to be perfect To remember that small things matter To remember to be purposeful   What you didn't know about Simple on Purpose: The Homemaker on Purpose Workbook The Life on Purpose Roadmap Course The free coaching mini-sessions, the strategy sessions can be booked here and the coaching program info is here.    Answering some of your questions: How to get work down and run a business? Having a hard time completing the Life on Purpose Workbook  Sharing

I was a controlling mom. I turned on the NO switch and said no to my kids, to my husband, to myself. But this need to control everything came from one very specific belief I had about myself: that I was not a capable mom (or a capable person, for the most part) We all like the feeling of being in control, but it can lead us to act in ways we don't like and it cuts us off from developing the skills of feeling capable.  Because the more we fight for control, the more reduce the practice and sense of capability in ourselves.    A Self-Professed Controlling Mom In this episode, I shared how, two kids in, I was becoming very reliant on CONTROL. I found myself controlling all the people and all the situations because I really didn't feel capable as a mother.  I said no to my kids, to my husband, and to myself. And I had everything wound up so tight.  For me, the solution to move out of this was turning to my village to help me pull out of my comfort zone, get out of my house and DO stuff with my kids.  Ho

What it means to be a mom on purpose - and it is not about having happy, obedient kids. It is actually about being a mom on purpose when our kids are NOT happy or obedient, or when life feels hard and we aren't feeling happy.  Dealing with Automatic Negative Thoughts Coming off a couple of weeks of feeling like I was hitting a wall and spiralling to all the things that are wrong in my life  Our brain is wired to find problems so we can keep ourselves safe and protect ourselves from 'problems' We are the ones that need to talk back to our brains and tell ourselves what is true   Mindfulness as a mother Mindfulness isn't always beautiful and lovely. We need to be mindful of the things that feel not so lovely in our lives. It is important to be mindful of the stories we tell ourselves because we act out, show up from those thoughts and how they make us feel When we show up from frustration, resent, victimhood and then our outcome is always disconnection and more helplessness and frustration.    Our

There is a quote 'don't just survive in motherhood, thrive in it' When I first heard this quote I really hated it.  I was home with three kids under four and very aware of how I was NOT thriving and felt like I wasn't even surviving.  I resented this notion I had to be thriving.    What I thought thriving in motherhood had to look like cute home, always clean healthy home-cooked meals, everyone likes them  well dressed, kids are happy, I'm training for a marathon I also have a successful side hustle It felt very far away from where I was   Over the years I have learned that there are some very important hurdles to 'thriving in motherhood' I will be sharing the four reasons we aren't thriving in motherhood in the upcoming Mom on Purpose Bootcamp. If you want to do the work with me and set a great foundation for going from surviving to thriving then save your spot right here.  One big reason we aren't thriving in motherhood You cannot thrive when you feel like you are not surviving. That is to