My Life My Choice

It happens all the time, images in black and white or full Technicolor surge to the forefront of your mind making you feel like screaming, crying and curling up into a tiny ball. Words, sounds, the memory of smells, the visceral feelings that you felt, the knowing within your scope of understanding that you know, the visions of past events that you’d rather keep buried or locked in the recesses of your mind.  New and old hurts that you’ve dissected and then catalogued for some sort of future reference…if needed.   The problem is, these catalogued events seem to magically escape the mental lock and key and surge to the forefront of your mind replaying like a horror movie starring you.  This is what I call going down into the rabbit hole of Alice’s wonder-land.  I wonder if I said this or I wonder if I did that.  These innocent questions start a chain reaction that compound.  And before you know it, somehow you’ve slipped and the perceived negativity that has happened in the past now runs rampant around your