Shapes Of Grief

Rosie Mankes’s mother has had dementia for ten years. She had to be transitioned into assisted living, and then into memory care. And little by little, Rosie has had to watch her mother go. She recently wrote an article (https://thriveglobal.com/stories/what-i-wish-i-knew-when-i-transitioned-my-mom-into-an-assisted-living-facility/) about this deeply troubling experience that more and more of us are going to have to go through. It starts like this: I am watching my mother’s brain die, right before my eyes. During a recent visit, she said to me, “Please, Rosemarie, can you help me remember who my children are?” I held my composure and said, “Of course, Mom, let’s go through them. There’s Betty Ann, Tommy, Carl, and me.” She looked deep into my eyes and tried to repeat the names but couldn’t. So, we did it again, and again, until her frustration and agitation seemed to settle. She said to me, “I’m so upset that I can’t remember things. How many children do I have, six?” I said, “You have four.” And then we repe