Shapes Of Grief

At just 23 years of age, Australian Palliative care doctor Merran Cooper became a widow when Mark, her childhood sweetheart and husband, died of leukaemia. Forced to move out of her home while still shell-shocked at her husband’s death, it would be three more decades until Merran followed her heart and studied medicine, becoming a palliative doctor to help change the broken system on how we approach dying and grief. In this moving account of loss and a complete rebuilding of the self, Merran introduces us to her newly developed Electronic End of Life Plan - she is passionate about opening up better conversations about death and dying and helping people to take responsibility for how their end of life could be. To watch Merran’s beautiful 12 minute film on dying, see https://vimeo.com/366741393 Password is TLCSTC and is kindly offered for free to Shapes Of Grief listeners. About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief a

It was wonderful to speak to Roy Remer, Executive Director of the Zen Caregiving Project (formerly Zen Hospice Project), talk about what brought him to be drawn to work with people at the end of their life and what he has learnt from accompanying hundreds of people through the dying process. Roy shares some great wisdom with Liz about how we might approach accompanying our dying loved ones and what really matters. As always, this is a rich and educational conversation.  About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss. With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief

I was delighted to be joined by Dr. Kathryn Mannix for another episode of Shapes Of Grief. In this episode, we discuss the #ihfforum 2019 'Dying is Everybody's Business', at which Kathryn was keynote speaker. We take a look at what it takes to be an effective caring professional, how to avoid burnout and, when someone is dying, how do we know when "enough is enough".  People who care for other people may find this episode particularly useful, so please do share it! We mention the Irish Hospice Foundation's 'Think Ahead' programme, details of which can be found here https://hospicefoundation.ie/programmes/public-awareness/think-ahead/ and the gift of Organ Donation https://ika.ie/organ-donation-transplant-ireland/?doing_wp_cron=1572109326.2442059516906738281250 About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips

When Ger was 9 years old, he found his father dead at home. Unable to process his grief, it would be shut inside for many years until Ger found his way, as a young adult, into a caring profession and gradually began to address his own inner landscape and wounding. His early experience of his father's sudden death and unexpressed grief caught up with him eventually and he developed stomach issues which lead him to discover Somatic Psychotherapy, opening a door into working psychotherapeutically with others. Ger talks to me about his personal experience of grief, how it unfolded in layers over the years and how a spiritual perspective can be a great resource for us in times of overwhelm. We talked about ways that we can manage the collective grief we feel about climate change and the environmental legacy we are leaving our children. Such a rich conversation with Ger Murphy on a range of grief perspectives and a little poetry woven throughout.  Ger's website is http://www.iccp.ie. One of the poems that Ger

Eight years ago, Gretta Manners had a full time career in teaching and was a busy (and exhausted) mother of three young children; Hazel, 4, Maria, 2 and Tadhg, 6 months. She began to feel unwell and eventually went to the Emergency Dept. of her local hospital to find out what was wrong with her. It would be almost a year before Gretta got home again. What followed was months in hospital due to a rapid onset brain injury of unknown cause. Gretta lost her ability to talk, to walk, to determine the difference between her conscious and sleeping mind. She was plagued with a ‘ticker tape’ of nightmares and felt like she had ‘gone mad’. An encounter with a trial drug, along with a dedicated consultant (Prof. Tubridy), meant that Gretta’s deteriorating condition was thankfully stopped in its tracks and she would be able to start to slowly rebuild the broken brain connections, needing to learn to walk and talk all over again. The dedication of her family who didn’t leave her side during all of those institutionalised

Thirteen years ago, Declan Hammond received a phonecall that is every parent's worst nightmare; his son had been involved in a mining accident abroad and was killed instantly.  Declan was spiralled into what felt like an alternative reality, his life would never be the same again. In this brutally honest account of his grief, Declan describes how, for a number of years, he felt mad with grief. It was in the company of other bereaved parents where he found understanding, as many of his former friends fell away, unable to tolerate his grief. Declan speaks about how his grief transformed him over the years and how he has now made meaning from his loss. Declan recorded this short video for another podcast, it's well worth a listen to https://youtu.be/Nhgnu3xZITw About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips in

For many of us, we take it for granted that our text will read something like “a beautiful baby girl was born at 5.55am, 8.2lbs, mother and baby doing great”, but for Annemarie McCarthy and her husband, the reality was far from this. The 20 week scan showed anomalies that would render the rest of Annemarie’s pregnancy a constant source of stress and worry. When baby Ruth took her first breaths alone, her parents hoped that the worst was over and, once reparative surgery would be completed, they would take Ruth home and get on with their lives. Little did they know that their epic journey to keep their baby alive was just beginning. Ruth’s complications were a lot more than they and the medical team first realised, resulting in numerous surgeries, interventions and four years on  a life-support machine.  By the time Ruth was well enough to shed her reliance on the various machines that kept her alive for the first few years of her life, her mother Annemarie describes herself as ‘an empty shell’. Tryi

Aisling Fitzgibbon and her mother Martha were inseparable. As well as mother and daughter, they were best friends and soul mates. Following a few years of depression in her early twenties, Aisling went on a journey of finding meaning and purpose in her life, accompanied every step of the way by her beloved mother Martha. When Martha suddenly became critically ill, all of Aisling's spiritual learnings were put to the test and she had to dig deep to be able to come to terms with her mother's impending death. Aisling takes us through that journey and talks about how she accompanied her mother in her dying process and how finding meaning in her mother's death helped her to cope with the enormous grief she experienced. Listen to Aisling and be inspired! 'Fairytale' - a song by Richie Ros, which Martha listened to as she was dying https://youtu.be/WgaDYR9LcGU About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement lite

When Siobhan was two years old, both her parents, her older brother who was seven and her aunt all died in a drowning tragedy on Carlingford Lough. Siobhan, her  eleven month-old brother Terry and a nine-year-old sister Orla, were separated from each other and taken in by two sets of grandparents and were raised in a society that didn’t condone mourning or talk of grief.  Siobhan tells us about how she created an imaginary life for herself as a child and how this loss coloured her life experience and influenced her life choices. Decades later, Siobhan still feels anxious whenever she has to wait for someone and how she finds solace in the company of family and friends. She finds healing in the work she does with grieving children who come to the Rainbows programme which Siobhan facilitates and offers advice to anyone supporting a grieving child. #rainbows #grief #carlingfordlough #drowning #grief #bereavement About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedica

In 2000, a bus carrying 7 young tourists in Bolivia crashed into a ravine killing all of the 9 passengers on board; the driver had fallen asleep. Among them were two young Irish sisters. In this episode, Musician and Poet Siobhan Daffy, talks about the sudden death of her best friend, the importance of getting the girls home to Ireland and how community and poetry supported her in coming to terms with her bereavement. Two years later, Siobhan’s little brother Donnacha died suddenly, leaving a bereft family. They were barely coming to terms with their grief when their father also died.  Siobhan speaks about the magnitude of love and loss that hit her family and how they coped together, somehow finding a way to grieve, to find the courage to move forward with their enormous grief and to take heart in the love and life that still remained for them. The accident was widely covered in the Irish press at the time https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/driver-in-ravine-horror-deaths-may-have-dozed-off-26118447.h

Author of "Love's last gift" Bebhinn Ramsey recounts the sudden death of her husband Alistair while on holidays in San Francisco, leaving her widowed at 31 with a baby and a toddler. At the age of thirty-one Bébhinn had lost her soulmate, the father of her two young sons, but also her faith in life.Bebhinn tells of how the weight of her grief made her feel like a 'cornered rat' and how she went on a search for the cure for grief. That search lead her to The Work of Byron Katie, which provided her with a map that worked for her and helped her to navigate her grief by taking a spiritual approach to her experience. A heart-warming story from a beautiful woman. Bebhinn's ebook can be bought on Amazon at https://www.amazon.co.uk/Loves-Last-Gift-Bebhinn-Ramsay/dp/1444743112 In Love's Last Gift, this inspirational and thought-provoking memoir, we journey with Bébhinn as she searches for answers and a sense of meaning to her husband's untimely death. From walking the Camino de Santiago with her two young sons in the

Helen Lamb, owner and founder of the Dublin Wellness Centre, takes us on an intimate journey through her experience of grief following the death of her beloved husband when their baby boy was just months old. Listeners who have accompanied loved ones through cancer will resonate deeply with some of the experiences that Helen shares. She talks about the acute loneliness of grief and the importance of friends who ‘get’ exactly what you’re going through. Helen describes how grief changed her and how she approached loving again after losing ‘the love of her life’.  About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss. With a curriculum that has been meticulously de

Catherine Monaghan talks to Liz about life after the sudden death of her brother, what the grief of losing a sibling was like for her and how Tony’s death affected every part of her life. To read Cath’s article in the Irish Times, click here https://www.google.ie/amp/s/www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/my-brothers-were-inseparable-until-one-died-1.3878482%3fmode=amp About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss. With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The awa

For those of you who listened to last week's episode with Justin Caffrey, this is your opportunity to now listen to Beatrice Caffrey's perspective on the life and death of their beloved baby son Joshua. Having endured three miscarriages, Beatrice and Justin were delighted that this pregnancy was going well. When Beatrice was 25 weeks pregnant, they took a much-needed holiday to the south of Spain, when Beatrice was woken by her waters breaking, 15 weeks early.  Several days later in hospital, Joshua was born and immediately needed the care of the neonatal unit where he was not expected to live through the night. But Joshua was a little fighter and lived for almost a year, most of that spent in the intensive care unit. Beatrice takes us through that really difficult twelve months where their whole life was put on pause and Joshua's intense care regime was central to their lives. She takes us through the tasks of caring for a very ill baby, the days leading up to Joshua's death and how she took to the Wick

From high-flying banker to kangaroo parenting, Justin Caffrey takes us through a searingly honest account of his experience when his second son Joshua was born fifteen weeks early and life as they knew it stopped for the rest of the family. Forced to live in the south of Spain near the NICU unit where their son battled for survival, their son’s ongoing dance between life and death would change Justin’s perspective on almost everything in his life. After Joshua’s death, just short of his first birthday, Justin’s suppressed grief would eventually scream to be addressed, forcing Justin into a whole new way of being in the world. He generously shares with listeners what this journey was like for him, the abyss of grief that he faced, along with suicidal ideation and eventual acceptance of his grief and the rebuilding of family and career after trauma. Justin describes being surrounded by friends and family at a barbecue yet feeling totally alone and desolate. It is a poignant reminder to all of us to not forget o

From twenty years in general practice to a full-blown transition to journalist and broadcaster, Dr. Ciara Kelly takes us through her experience of grief following the very sudden death of her father several years ago and then the more recent and prolonged death of her mother just under two years ago. Ciara speaks candidly with Liz about the different experiences, what surprised her about their deaths and how the experience of deep grief changed her as a doctor and as a person. We also hear about her first experience as a doctor, having to break the news to a young mother that she was going to die and how her own bereavements have changed her as a person. The first 11 minutes, Ciara chats about her transition from GP to broadcaster. The conversation then turns to grief and Ciara’s very personal experience of loss. Note from Liz: I hope you're all getting something really beneficial from the Shapes Of Grief podcast. I want to send out a huge thanks to those of you who have sponsored the podcast so far. I'm deli

More like a conversation between friends, Liz and Interfaith minister Treacy O’Connor talk about a variety of topics related to loss, personal growth, separation, as well as the dance between spirituality and the corporate world. Treacy discusses how her relationship with her father became deeper through the continuous bonds she forged with him after his death. She takes us through her personal journey from a young, searching woman to corporate life and eventually to the role of interfaith minister. We talk about the spiritual aspect of growth, as well as spiritual bypassing, childbirth, the grief of relationship breakdown and self-rediscovery.   For more on Treacy's work, see https://treacyoconnor.com #Treacyoconnor #interfaithminister #continuousbonds #death #loss #bereavement #separation #spiritualbypassing  About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist

Kevin Toolis is a BAFTA winning film maker and writer of the acclaimed death guide My Father’s Wake: How the Irish Teach Us to Live, Love and Die.  Toolis has reported on famines, wars and plagues all over the world for The New York Times and The Guardian. As a documentary maker he has filmed in the middle east and directed the Emmy-nominated Cult of the Suicide Bomber television history series. He is also producer/director of a compelling new stage work Wonders of the Wake that revives the lost art of Irish keening and celebrates the ancient rite of the Irish Wake.   In this episode, Kevin talks to Liz about what compelled him to write this book about his father's death and what it taught Kevin about  life. It will take the reader on a sometimes uncomfortable journey towards mortality, but ultimately is an invitation to wake up to our finite lives and live them. Buy 'My Father’s Wake' https://amzn.to/2vbg08I About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization d

Donna tells us about the work of the Dougy centre in Portland Oregon and gives us some insight into what support children may need to help them through times of grief. The Dougy centre have some really useful resources for supporting grieving children and adolescents, which can be found here https://www.dougy.org. We also mention the Irish Childhood Bereavement Network who are a great resource for childhood bereavement in Ireland, details can be found here https://www.childhoodbereavement.ie. About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss. With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material avai

Psychotherapist and author Edy Nathan joins me on Shapes Of Grief this week to talk about the grief she endured through sexual abuse and bullying at a young age, which lead to the debilitating condition of agoraphobia. Edy’s experience would later shape her career choice, leading her to study the creative arts therapies, sex therapy and grief support. In this conversation, Edy takes us through her early experiences, how they shaped her and how she eventually came to integrate her grief and become a support for other people also experiencing cumulative grief and trauma.  Edy is offering listeners of Shapes Of Grief a free grief mediation download from her website, when you mention Shapes Of Grief. Her book ‘It’s Grief’ can be purchased on her  website, which can be found here https://edynathan.com. In the conversation, I mention an article that I wrote about Ritual, Symbol & Metaphor which can be found on my blog here https://www.shapesofgrief.com/grief-stories/2019/1/17/ritual-symbol-amp-metapho