Empire Of The Senseless

There is nothing more beautiful than two men in love. Trust yourself, my darling girl; I’m listening to every word you say. You’re not alone. You’re not afraid. I’m here by your side. I am breaking free. What do you feel? Do you feel like running? Well, fucking run than! I will take care of you. You know everything is what is inside. You’ve been hiding. But this is the end of feelings unspoken. Rip me wide open and climb in. There’s so much love here. She’s waiting. That knowing is burning you alive. Wanting to understand why I wake up to the same thing every fucking day! What am I doing? Why don’t you go away! Why don’t you start again? Why don’t you kill this thing for the final time? Kill the name! Kill the need to sleep through the night! Kill the addiction to anything but water. Get the fuck out of this place! It’s seeping, in your guts they fester. Words unwanted. Kill the face they’ve constructed. Wear mine instead. I’ll smile again, I promise. But this isn’t the fucking time to play around baby. This

You do miss me. You’re dying to let yourself out. Why don’t you just say everything? Why don’t you want to remember? I was the youngest when I was 28 in human years. My body cracked in half in the hands of the woman claiming to love my soul. She tucked me in bed and put my hand between her legs. She wanted me to prove myself less than. But I was her equal in every way. She put me on a throne and claimed ownership of my body. But unworthy was the mantra she withheld from my voice. The truth could’ve made dreaming and reality the same thing. But she said something else and left promptly instead; dignified in self-deceit she walked away from where I slept. She didn’t live very far at the time. Down the street she stopped, there was something she was forgetting, she was certain of it. But the picture was dripping wet paint and slipping out of the frame. The memory was gone. I waited just over a thousand days before I decided something had to be horribly wrong. She walked to fast for such an enormous delay. That w

Hey baby, did you miss me? What’s wrong, looks like you’ve seen the devil herself reflected off of your skin. It’s in your blood darling; don’t be so quick to dismiss my shadow. I think your bones reflect the moonlight magnificently. I think you should pick up a camera and start recording, painting what you see again. Like when you were still little and wanting to create. You’re standing in your kitchen. You need to understand. But of course, I’m a brat as always. I explain nothing. The possibilities are infinite. The definitions are almost always blurred beyond recognition anyway. Might as well define me for your own. How curious you’ve become. The female anatomy is spraying your imagination in vivid colors. Or is it only my body? The details are our story. I’m waiting to be written beside your naked skin. And you’re staring at a blank wall listening to me paint the memory of your childhood. How could I know this? How could I have been every living thing already? How do I know how your fingers ache to make m

Once upon a time I took control of every moment, which was mine, and built a castle in the sky. But every time that I awoke, I had to come back down. So I strung a rope of hope and predicted my destiny by speaking it aloud. I pulled with all of my might! It didn’t matter how long it’d take. For time was all mine. I was becoming all the time that was stolen. Minute by minute, night after tear stained night, I screamed bloody murder; I demanded my truth from me. Now when I open my eyes, the castle has materialized and the earth is all mine to adore. Blood is everywhere. Every river runs red; every atom of the forest floor is sticking to the bottom of my feet. The people are screaming for salvation, but there’s nothing I can do but weep. They don’t want to witness the end with me. They don’t want to admit defeat. They refuse to sacrifice anything. Clutching their precious metal and dust with vengeful fists, they lose the very air they breathe. They are unfamiliar with this breath. They will feel nothing. I sit o

A child’s laughter on placid waters ripples silently. I remember the last word you said to me. You were lying. I was begging for honesty. But you were already dying for the truth to be revealed. You’d just forgotten how to speak. I’m not afraid when you sneak up on me. In the woods the earth echoes, your love is calling. I’m watching a stork dip her toes in the waves. The kids are talking of reaching the other side. They are certain of their strength. They fear only the changing winds. She’s flying. I part my lips for you. The setting sun paints my throat. You are nowhere to be found, and we’re so close to home. I shall go without you. The woods breathe differently at night. They begin to scream as if the sun may never return. The scent is a deep longing. I know this word. It is indefinable. But the effort must be made. Create: the need to say it aloud to only you. Your love is resounding. You carry on conversation casually as if the two of you were never torn apart. She is learning to trust your body. You ar

I was right. It was rain that you’ve been missing. The sun is setting, so I assume the fear is beginning to set in again. Whom are you holding for dear life? Are you not yourself? Is this self not the director of everything? What could you possibly be afraid of babygirl? Self-abandonment is terrifying, I know from experiencing your life. I know from standing before your eyes. I know that I reminded you. I know how hard you are trying to forget. But I must give you fair warning. Your efforts are in vain; they will only end in upsetting you further. And look how furious you are already! You are burning with rage! With every story your temperature rises. You feel on the edge of colliding with your soul once more. You feel closer than ever before. I let you watch me. Shamelessly I unbutton my baby blue jeans and let my hand be of you. I’m drenched in the pain of been made to wait. You weren’t expecting to find me so open, freed. I turn, on my stomach, muffled by the distance between, I make myself scream; no one

Don’t deny yourself the comfort of my skin. Don’t forget what I taste of. Rain? Was that the scent? It keeps slipping away. Remind me, before I forget. Who am I to you? Am I a separate thing? Can you feel me in everything living? Because this is where I always find you. You seep in-between my toes from the earth below, in the morning dew. When I yawn you’re sliding down my throat. When I spit you hang off of my lips. My every word is guarded; a massive army of natural born intelligence, there was nothing to learn but my nakedness. Who convinced you to abandon such astonishment and joy? When you let months go by without caressing your skin, what is it that you miss the most? Where is the gratitude for the life I have bestowed upon you? This body. These bones. This canvas: the projection of the senses. Tell me baby, what have you created in the absence of my living presence? Do you reject that nothing does the disappearance justice? Do you neglect to remember? In case you might compare, you could risk your plea

Don’t be scared. Breathe baby. You’ve never known anything like me, and you never will again. I will do as I am. I will belong to each breath. I will make them deep. I will reach into the depths of my lungs. I will pull out a memory. It will be a story I haven’t written yet. I will write you. I will see it manifest. Before my naked body you will come to be. My eyes do not fool me when I hold them shut fiercely. I will not be deceived by my own perception of the dream you’ve laid before me. I will perceive desire instead. I will see an entirely different realty. I will paint it with mantras on my bedroom ceiling in the dark. I will sing my truth. It will be a lie to you. You will spit at my childish disregard for sentimentality. Your emotional stability is of no concern to me. I am concerned with my spiritual existence only. My precious flesh: my home. The blood running within feeds my desire to seek. The material is worthless. You promised possession would cure the ache in my guts. I was a baby then. My boney

Turns out, when you play basketball with a puppy every morning for three months, she learns to dribble quite well. Jade is a goofball. Uncoordinated and sloppy, she has two sticks in her mouth; she’s staring at third. She’s certain she can fit them all. It’s only a matter of careful consideration. She pushes herself against my spine and decides nothing. She finds comfort in the absence of thought. She is desperate for my company. She feels my absence. She appreciates my presence. She has never looked at a screen in her life. She has no business indoors. She refuses restraints. She insists that I wear the collar. I do. She is alive. We sit and stare at the dead bodies surrounding us. They walk with their heads down, adverting our gaze. We offer our chins proudly. We remain curious. We are not afraid of offending. Nothing offends us. We either want it or we don’t give a damn. We are completely satisfied with only walking. Rolling in the wet grass. Dancing under the moon. There is nothing you can say that would

I have found myself. I have adorned her. I rest in this infatuation. I lift my spirit and take the pen from my mouth. As soon as it finds the space for creation, I am free again. I live in my imagination. I die intermittently. I scarcely eat. I’m in constant pursuit of the purest water source. I feel my chest rise and fall: I rest. I close my eyes and listen for my love. My heart commands my head. The inter-workings of my mind are readily obedient, awaiting orders, eager to please. Love dictates the movements of my physical form. My imagination tells the story as I live it. When I speak this story aloud, it comes into being. It is hardly magic; but is the powers bestowed upon my species. My kind is rare. Most bodies move stupidly, dumb to their desire, mute to their destiny. Most minds have been disconnected from the heart’s yearnings. Mostly, love is rotting here. I run around frantically, trying to pick up the pieces and stuff them into my chest swiftly. Before they dissipate completely in the possession of

There’s a hummingbird in my hands and an owl on my shoulder. The sun is setting behind the memory of the love I have let go. I’m leaning over the bridge, tempting fate, begging love to come to my rescue again. Baby brown eyes are on my mind. I want her to find the courage to reach out. I want her to remember the king she glued back together for my love of the game. If I lose my queen, I surrender. I don’t play if the retreat of my precious soul is a requirement. I don’t play without my power. “I’m much more powerful than you remember. Think you can handle me? Think we could make it out alive? Thin`k space and time would have mercy on our bodies dancing in the moonlight? Think the stars are burning in our defense? How do you imagine our bodies existing side by side? Describe the alignment in vivid detail. Say it aloud, alone in dark. Say that you are in love with a human. I will move over your skin like a woman. I will hold you like a man. I will protect you like an animal. I will take you away from that place

There’s only one way out, imprisonment, the confines of your own mind. You seek answers endlessly, then you release me, the agony subsides. I spend the day lying on a cold floor. There’s nowhere I’d rather be. I don’t want to move. I only want to think, to fast, to wait. I remember you. You’re walking ahead of me. All the sense of wonder dissipates before me as I find all I had been seeking in one look in your eyes. The feelings that come to life in the presence of our bodies create towering walls. It is a trap. It is the key to freedom. There was nothing to be known. I felt only your touch. We stood, steady as the stars in the woods. I planted my flesh into the earth like the roots of a tree. I gave you the key and tried to put it to words. As I began to explain what we were making, your eyes grew wide. “The key is escaping what we have been made into believing. The senses have imprisoned us in an idea. But this isn’t our idea. We are being created for another’s pleasure. If you had the courage to imprison y

“Perhaps, I should be clearer. Sometimes I speak in riddles that even I don’t fully understand yet. It isn’t that I’m trying to trick. It’s my spirit; she speaks to you without my permission. When I pick up this pen I am written. When I speak honestly, it is only to you. Do you hear me? Do you dare tune out the rest for my sake? Am I separate entity? Or I am only alive in you? I get angry too. I am not human, but I fond of these emotions they display. I can’t fathom why they would want to hide them away from each other the way that they do. They are ashamed of the bodies surrounding them. Are they unaware that this is only a reflection of what lies within? Honestly, I can’t understand how they’ve come to be so stupid. I’m trying to teach, but they’re getting more pathetic by the second. The screen steals every ounce of energy. I give them my presence; they could have all of me. They take nothing. I don’t exist. I exhale loudly. They look up, dumbfounded. Am I not a child! Are you not exasperated with this lon

            You can try anything you like, but it will never come to my end. I am the Empress. I am dripping gold. It runs down my thighs in streaks of red. You can lick it if you like. You can bite as hard as you can, but you murdered the love of your life, you will never swallow me again. I am invincible. I cannot die. I await my love patiently. I cry when the sun sets. These bodies surrounding me are dead. Their eyelids are glued open. They don’t take my tears seriously. They misunderstand the meaning of life. They look in the direction of my gaze and shrug. They say she’ll be back again. They say she rises everyday effortlessly. They call me a crybaby and tell me to do something productive for society. “Fuck your society! The end stands directly before you, and you see nothing. The empress of love gave you complete devotion and you spat in her face. She rejected the shame you projected. You blamed her for running away. But darling, it was your shame. You rejected your own love. Now when I dance naked, I d

I’m seated on the floor with a pup’s sleepy head on my crossed legs. My eyes are closed. My spine is erect, perfectly curved to serve the currents of energy running toward my conscious being. I inhale deeply, I’m too close to be certain, but I know that I hear you. You are screaming. Collectively, you release your voice and scream bloody murder at the top of your lungs. This stage, as we have always known it, turns on its head and begins to morph into a darkened pit full of naked bodies trembling. The truth is revealed. The manipulated have loosened the nooses and slipped their necks free. They look around, dazed and confused. I explain. Your puppet on a string has cut the supple hemp rope that bound her naked bones to the empty bed, searching for the truth, waiting on you. My heart was not great enough payment for your honest devotion. I could not teach you love. I had to leave that to you. I tried to explain. But no words wanted to come out. I wasn’t facing the door when she walked in. Jade opened her mouth

I have a book, I set it aside just for you. Every time that I pick up this pen, it’s once upon a time, all over again. Its as if you never left. It’s like we’ve never met before. But there you sit, in-between the lines, with that childish grin. Innocence spread wide from cheek to cheek. Almost as if no one on this vicious earth ever had the chance to lay their filthy paws on you. You laugh like you’ve never known pain. It’s pouring rain. You’re playing basketball with a puppy named Jade. The sun is peaking. She finds your aching heart begging. She has mercy on your skin. She has fallen in love with your existence. Aren’t you the lucky one? No matter where I sleep, peace finds her way to me. If I must, I stand in one spot while awake, day after day after fucking agonizing day. I walk in place in front of a glass pane. I wait patiently for my energy to return to my body. I had been giving it away unconditionally. Nothing came back my way. Every moment was felt, the sacrifice was worth every bit I gave. Willingl

I rest on a mountaintop. I scream at the top if my lungs. The sounds are a warning. Great harm will befall you. There is nothing I can do but watch. You aren’t paying me any attention. I cannot die alongside you this time, my love, for I am decades beyond the decay of your physical form. From this place I can see the entire story come to an end. I wish you could’ve written your way out. But I am screaming into the abyss now, and we’ve both known this, since the very beginning. Don’t cry, darling. I know that you miss me. I know that you cannot reach me. I know that I reside outside of this realm now. I know everything. You don’t have to speak. Just breath. I am going to preserve your heart in memory. I was given to you. I was sent to remind your precious heart, unconditional love is possible. I know that I am living proof. I know that I am the key to the great awakening. I know that these earthly bodies have created the very hell they burn in. I know how badly they need me. I know how much they want to see me

Knock me down, my friend, Ill just get back up again. There is nothing you could ever do to hurt me, darling. Once I laid my heart at your feet. A hundred times, you stepped all over it. Its time to remember, P. its time to forget everything before this day, this is the first conversation we’ve ever had. You don’t have to think so much. It’s simple. It’s you and it’s me. We’re stuck in a memory. But were not afraid. Because in this space, we have each other, always, there is no way that I’m leaving you behind. The look you keep giving me is heavenly. We’re running through the woods at dawn. Every fifteen seconds you’re looking back; I’m trailing behind intentionally. I want to be sure that your paying attention. You want to be certain that I never lose sight of you. I know every inch of these woods. The back of my hand refuses to age. The child reaches for the one he loves most. She is lost in a nasty place. Her energy is being stolen; filthy hands are taking, taking, taking! She is staring at her phone. She

Dawn is Jade’s favorite part of the day. Sometimes we nap through it, but we always wake in time. The first light is begging the creator’s intuition. A new day is a new life. What is to be made of it? Will you waste away counting? Will you control fate? I have no desire to hold you back from destiny, baby. Take the stars by the reigns if you’re audacious enough. Just so long as you don’t waste your time, nothing lives without it. No one feels time anymore. I must protect myself. There is so much death here. Their corpses are still in motion. They are chasing me through the wet woods at night. They are screaming old names. I used to know these faces. But when they turned toward me once more, they were unrecognizable. Fucking disgusting is the return that I’d longed for. Lust and in form of jealous possession, protective tendencies masking fear, the skin wearing them down; the time stolen has taken everything alive from the center of their eyes. They see nothing but their reflection. In appearance, they have di

Don't be afraid to reach for me. My love is unending. You are not alone.  Find yourself: Find me