Arnold Schwarzenegger Presents

A freeze is coming, as the best Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast in town chills out with the coolest movie in town, Batman and Robin. I hope you enjoy terrible ice puns, because they're certainly not going to get any better. Matthew Hespe joins Jemry and Rob to talk about Frasier, Coolio and George of the Jungle, plus we get to the surface of those Air Buddies films, and take down all the fat cats in the diamond industry.

There's railguns galore, Perfect Dark-style, as the podcast visits Arnold Schwarzenegger's 1996 classic Eraser. Suspiciously large brooches, high pressure skyscrapers, and some bloodthirsty CGI alligators all make for a fun time, as does Robert Pastorelli as Johnny Casteleone. Also, Sven Watch makes a return. Roland Hoffmann (@RolandoHoffmann) joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast, and creates some literal Shakespearean tragedy, and also probably traumatises a fictional deer. The Arnold Schwarzenegger film Eraser also comes up in discussion.

The podcast celebrates Christmas in July as we revisit Jingle All The Way, the movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger fights a group of Santas trying to sell bootleg children's toys. Of course, this is likely in direct retaliation to Turbo Man taking over the starring role in the Christmas parade, but what can 30 Santas do in the face of consumerism gone mad. Donna Collins joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast, as we discuss the ethical problems with continuing franchises and feeding poisoned 14-year-olds into woodchippers, as well as touching on Jingle All The Way for a moment or two.

The podcast this week visits Junior, the Ivan Reitman film that casts Arnold Schwarzenegger in his most unlikely role yet: a scientist, and dares to ask the question "how can man form prangent"? Tess Bentley joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast, as we watch Junior and learn that a bag of heroin can't raise a baby, giving birth is relatively chill, and lobster claws can be propelled to the strangest of places.

This week on the podcast, we cover True Lies, our last James Cameron film before the release of Avatar IV: The Quest for Peace. With some questionable hiring procedures and horse-elevator etiquette, Arnold Schwarzenegger rides real fast past a guy on a saxophone, and oh boy, is he surprised? Yes. Randy Adeva joins Jemry and a characteristically quiet Rob for some analysis, rankings, and the typical fight to the death scenario between a whole bunch of Jim Carrey characters and a bus. Along the way, they also discuss the Arnold Schwarzenegger film True Lies, and really, who could ask for more?

The president is replaced and donuts are smacked out of hands this week, as the podcast visits Dave, the movie that you didn't even realise had Arnold Schwarzenegger in it. A thirty second cameo for a familiar director means we have another movie to cover, and this one is full of intrigue if you watch it enough times, and notice some conspicuous corgis. Sean Morgan joins Rob and Jemry to watch the Kevin Kline vehicle Dave, and witness the long-con Kevin Kline pulls to help his struggling employment agency. There's also a fight between a newscaster, an athlete, a dinosaur and an aquatic mammal, but the only way to find out who won is to like, share and subscribe, or however podcasts work.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is Arnold Schwarzenegger as Jack Slater as the podcast goes beyond the silver screen and visits Last Action Hero and the films contained therein. Fish go both in and out of water as Danny Madigan from My Girl 2 uses a magic ticket, handed down from the greatest magicians, and also a lousy projectionist, to visit an Arnold Schwarzenegger character and A Talking Cat!?! Ry joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast as we go beyond the fourth wall, and fight a bobsled, a T-Rex and a homicidal Macaulay Culkin in John McTiernan's silliest film, Last Action Hero.

This week on the podcast, there's some time travelling, liquid-metal-body-morphing shenanigans going on, and only our good terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger is fit to deal with the problem. First, however, he has to learn some 90s slang from an American teenager. Cowabunga! Ben Searle joins the podcast to cover Arnold Schwarzenegger classic Terminator 2, fights to the death, and what would be a very strange book club. Will he turn out to be Robert Patrick in a clever ruse to infiltrate our ranks? There is not fate but what we make for ourselves.

The podcast is going back to school, as Schwarzengger re-teams with his old pal Ivan Reitman to bring us Kindergarten Cop. This time, there's jokes along with the premise, and the whole thing goes swimmingly. Well, except for a missing 3 million dollars, a burning school, kidnapped children, witnesses handcuffed to corpses, a liberal application of shotgun rounds... you know what? Maybe it doesn't go so swimmingly after all. Emma Holland joins Rob and Jemry to discuss talking ferrets, propeller caps, and the origins of the chalk font. They also happen to discuss Kindergarten Cop, which is lucky, because that's the whole premise of the podcast.

If it was a Total Recall, why was he there at all? The podcast that tells you the how, the why, and the who of Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to Mars to figure out his missing memories, or maybe they're just being lobotomised. It's all up to interpretation. Joined by comedian Luke Leonard, Rob and Jemry explore Arnold Schwarzenegger's best film (fight me!), and have Cher lose at karaoke (it's a long story). You can catch Luke Leonard's MICF show, Late Night Storytelling at a Reasonable Hour tonight, assuming you're listening on day of release.

Get your passports ready as the podcast covers Red Heat, a film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as a Russian police officer on assignment in the USA. Paired opposite awful policeman and charisma vacuum Jim Belushi, the two learn that Russia and America aren't so different after all, at least when it comes to police brutality. Laurence Fishburne, Frank Boyle and Gina Gershon all have their time wasted as side characters who don't get much screen time, and there's plenty of gratuitous violence throughout. Joined on the podcast by Martin Dunlop, Rob and Jemry review, rank and revise Red Heat, but hopefully they won't have to fill out any paperwork. You can catch Martin Dunlop's show Small Tales of Little Mercy at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, April 12 - 21 at The Butterfly Club.

What happens when you take the director of Ghostbusters, add Arnold Schwarzenegger, and throw in a handful of comedy writers? Depends on what year. This podcast visits the 1988 result, premise comedy Twins, where Danny Devito is the long lost criminal sibling to Schwarzenegger's naive multi-talented behemoth. Can they reconnect, reunite with their long-lost mother and escape with a stolen prototype engine, or will a giant chain fall on their heads over an extended period of time? Filmmaker Nic Barker joins Rob and Jemry this week for a look at one of Arnold's first leading roles in a comedy, Twins. They analyse, recast, and ponder what Hollywood would do with the premise now, all before hearing about the upcoming Josh Brolin/Peter Dinklage film Brothers.

Stick around, we're putting together a crack team of commandos to record an Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast about Predator. We'll need a scorpion on a knife, a spare arm, a cloaking device and way too many pencils. The hazards include being hunted by an intergalactic alien, who was born and bred for trophy hunting, along with the occasional chance of being skinned alive or having your spine removed. Don't worry though, because the alien has anti-mud vision, and can be undone by a little dirt and water. Rob and Jemry are joined on the podcast by Dave Campbell to discuss Predator, the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic. Join us on an adventure into the jungle and to the chopper, but be sure to hurry, because there's no time to bleed.

It's showtime! The podcast puts on its running shoes, and covers your favourite Richard Bachman aka Stephen King aka Jack Torrance adaptation that also features Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Running Man. The good news is Sven actually plays a character called Sven. The bad news is we don't see enough footage from The Hate Boat. Who loves you, and who(m) do you love? Rob and Jemry are joined on the podcast by Ry of Backyard Boys Gaming to cover The Running Man from start to finish. From Sven Watch to Stalker Showdowns, if a segment starts with S, we may (or may not) cover it! We hope you saved room for this podcast because we're going to ram it into your ear-holes & break your god damn spine!

Remember not to drink and bake, as we go from being the sheriff of a small town to undercover with the mob, as the podcast arrives at the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic, Raw Deal. Magnets, junkyards, and games of chicken with bulldozers dominate as Arnie tears apart the mob piece by piece, and a priest accidentally runs into an open grave. Whoops! On this podcast, Rob and Jemry watch, discuss and rank Raw Deal, and the Arnold Schwarzenegger content contained within. That's the whole premise, you dingus. Try to keep up! We also introduce a new, very important, very exclusive portion of our podcast during our rankings segment, Sven Watch.

Put on your tactical vest, feed your daughter some ice cream, and grab the guns out of your two-digit combination safe, because your favourite Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast is revisiting one of your favourite Schwarzenegger movies, Commando. With a kill count of 81, and more great one-liners than we remember to mention, it's a podcast you could eat for breakfast, and right now you're very hungry. Joined by Josh Webb (@JoshwaWebb), Rob and Jemry let off some steam, and watch/podcast about Commando. Both Josh and Jemry are part of Pretty Good Lineup, Mar 26 - Apr 7 at the 2019 Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Arnold Schwarzenegger co-stars as Kalidor (aka Not Conan) this week on the podcast, as Dino De Laurentiis carefully makes his way around some copyright shenanigans with Red Sonja. Pull on your Levis, grip your sword loosely, and marvel as Arnie appears at the last minute to save our heroine EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. This movie is a true masterpiece of not being a masterpiece. Joined by Scott of Backyard Boys Gaming, Rob and Jemry take the podcast through the failed Conan the Conqueror attempt that is Red Sonja.

"So, this podcast, it’s from the future, is that right?" "One possible future. From your point of view. Listen, and understand. That Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you have listened to it." Joined by their first guest, the fantastic Daniel Stiglec, Rob and Jemry watch the movie that put "I'll be back" in the Arnold Schwarzenegger lexicon, The Terminator.

Wilt Chamberlain, Grace Jones, Andre the Giant, and the return of Mako?! Why, this is my kinda movie! Join us for a thrilling romp through the highs of Conan's second adventure, and the fun, active atmosphere that encompasses it. Forget that silly podcast that put down Conan the Barbarian. Now this is a movie! Rob and Jemry watch Conan the Destroyer, and this time, it's enjoyable. Listen along as we discuss this fun, silly movie.

Is it just me, or did you want more of James Earl Jones and the snake transformations? This witch is done, throw her into the fire! Arnold becomes a king in an unrelated and untold story at the end of this film, and you too can become a king*, just like, share, and subscribe, or whatever you do with podcasts. Rob and Jemry watch Conan the Barbarian, and hold a somewhat controversial opinion about it. You, too, can be outraged by their opinions, all you need do is listen to the episode, which we provide here for your listening pleasure. *Offer void if read.