Rat Boyz Presents: The Musclecast

Producer/Engineer: Bill Pollock Editor: Sarah Rendo Cover: Rob Mitchell   A modern Odysseus, Rube Foster was a giant concoction of pitcher, manager, businessmen and visionary, all shaken up together inside a 6 foot 2 Texan frame. In 1920 Rube Foster gathered a group of businessmen to the Paseo YMCA. By the time the men left they had created the modern Negro National League.   Some say that Rube Foster never left that room and even though he died in 1930, he never stopped watching over the YMCA. One day someone tried to steal a car outside of the YMCA but the thief retreated when he was pelted by a cascade of ice. Some say it was a freak hailstorm. Some say it was Rube Foster chucking ice at the dude.   Some say that Rube Foster never left that room and that his genius is so powerful it resonates through the room in a constant current of electricity. Some say that there’s enough in Rube Foster’s room that if electricity were tiny packets of ketchup there would be enough tomater sauce to overflow a regular size

Producer/Engineer: Bill Pollock Editors: Sarah Rendo/Robert J. Baumann Cover: Rob Mitchell   Satchel Paige was the greatest pitcher that ever lived. He was famous for a number of pitches, including the bee ball, a pitch so fast it buzzed past a batter’s ear like a thousand wax masters. What you might not know, probably because you’ve been drinking too much pop, is that in tribute to Paige (or in an awe-inspiring coincidence), a giant jumble of bumble bees continuously hovered around Paige’s memorial in Forest Hills cemetery. At first several visitors to Paige’s grave got bumble bites all over their face, arms and noses and it seemed that all hope for peaceful visits to the grave of the great hurler were lost. That is, until one day when Elmer Fartz accidentally plopped a tiny honey and peanut butter sandwich on the ground. By the time Fartz stooped to rediscover his sandwich, dozens of bees were busily slurping honey off the bread. The bees ate to their great content and a hearty round of bee burps soon follo

Producer/Engineer: Bill Pollock Editors: Sarah Rendo/Robert J. Baumann Cover: Rob Mitchell   Before Ernest Hemingway handed out cigarettes and candy to Italian troops in World War Uno, he worked as a cub reporter for The Kansas City Star. It didn’t matter if the story was about church farts or missing sewer lids – no street went unpaved by his narrative. Soon thereafter, Hemingway took a trip to the Kansas City stockyards. The dust of the West Bottoms swirled with a whirlwind fueled by a thousand cow farts as Hemingway approached the corrals. Although it was like standing in the furnace of a great booty bomb factory, Hemingway followed his internal journalistic compass deep into the bowels of the stockyard. Suddenly a gust of cow toots blew the cap off his grand noggin and sent it tumbling down a cattle shoot. Ernest hopped down from the corral and snatched his hat, hundreds of bulls racing closer and closer, their snorts and grunts ringing in his ears. Maddeningly close to his person, young Ernie began to sc

Producer/Engineer: Bill Pollock Editors: Sarah Rendo/Robert J. Baumann  Cover: Rob Mitchell George Washington Carver. America’s greatest inventor. Tesla of the Midwest. Some call him the Peanut Butter Genie. Mr. Carver spent a summer learning stenography in the Union Telegraph Building.   The summer of 1885 changed his life and the face of sandwiches forever.   Young Carver was destined to cultivate great thought from the fields of his fertile mind––but even geniuses get hungry.   To prepare for vast mental surveys Carver would often make bread sandwiches. One day while preparing a largely lightweight limp bread sandwich, Carver wondered if the flavor of the bread would be enhanced by a companion.   And so Carver began a great experiment. First he sprinkled pepper on the bread, but it made the sandwiches far too peppery. Second he sprinkled salt on the bread but it made the sandwiches far too salty. Third, he sprinkled a handsome collection of beans between the slices of bread, but it tasted like a dry soup.

Producer/Engineer: Bill Pollock Editors: Sarah Rendo/Robert J. Baumann Cover: Rob Mitchell   Everyone knows that Walt Disney started his first film studio in Kansas City. You’d be a stupid idiot not to. But what most people don't know is that Walt Disney left behind something behind in the Laughagram Studios.   Before leaving Kansas City for Hollywood, Walt Disney accidentally locked a tiny mouse in his desk drawer and not just any old mouse––Mickey Mouse.   The mouse that kept him company during all those restless days and sleepless nights in the studio; the lone candlelight to his genius. Disney fed Mickey Mouse with tiny crackers and ginger ale droplets. The most famous mouse in the history of famous mice left to nibble out his fortune––eternally.   No one knows if Mickey Mouse escaped the desk, but strange happenings have been reported ever since. The building that housed Laughagram Studios is now merely four lean walls of brick buttressed by metal supports, but there are rumors that if you walk the block

Producer/Engineer: Bill Pollock Editors: Sarah Rendo/Robert J. Baumann Cover: Rob Mitchell These spine-tinglers are the outcome of years of research and a lifetime of speculation. It is my personal belief and professional opinion that they are the scariest stories in the history of the world. Take heed-- these spine-tinglers are full of blood, sweat, tears, hotdogs, hamburgers, circus, horse pelts, rascals, extinct parakeets, Donnie Turtle, cemeteries, grave robbers, ghouls, ghosts, trains, guns, wranglers, bank robbers, mice, baseballs, piglets, architects, activist birders, troll goblins, feathers, boots, calendars, napkins, candles, shitheads, dog murderers, shovel thieves, toasting bread, beekeepers, corn chips, Donnie Turtle, peanut butter genies, betrayal, burritos of redemption, toots, turds, doo-doo boys, and all of the invisible words that you, dear reader, provide between the lines.   And so I ask, are you prepared to be mentally jostled? Do you like that stuff?   Good. Nay - Great! There’s plenty o