This Week I Learned

This week I learned that solid metal can remember its former liquid life , that living in the city changes the way you view your future, that your dog is lying to you, and why itching is so contagious.

This week I learned dinosaurs weren't all that fast, there's an ant species that doesn't appear to age, that tattoos may boost your immune system, and that you really shouldn't be drinking so much seltzer.

This week learned exactly how an asteroid would kill us, how vultures help our ecosystem, that the feeling of nails-on-a-chalkboard may be a distinct emotion, and that elephants get no sleep.

This week I learned how the good cop/bad cop routine works, that dads also go through hormonal changes after becoming parents, that fish "talk" with their urine, and that Earth has a secret hidden eighth continent.

This week I learned the sound bees make when they bump into each other, that a well-timed cup of coffee can boost your memory, that goats know their friends, and that giant pandas are FedExed back to China.

This week I learned about the Lobster War, the weird reason UPS trucks are so efficient, why whales leap into the air, and that there was once an astronaut who was allergic to the moon.

This week I learned that dogs are calmed by reggae music, that plants call for help with odor, that our oldest ancestor was a gross sack-like creature, and that pendulum clocks 'talk' to each other.

This week I learned ancient otter species were terrifyingly huge, that nicotine can neutralize a schizophrenic brain, that rituals can be a performance boost, and that the Declaration of Independence spends the night in a subterranean vault.

This week I learned the CIA spent two decades trying to harness the power of psychics, that vampires are hungry for humans now, that sharks can reproduce without mates, and that the dinosaurs died in frigid darkness.

This week I learned your appendix isn't useless, that cramming exercise into your weekends does you some good, what doomed the world's biggest shark, and that adult dogs don't care for your baby talk.

This week I learned that misinformation can actually be good for your memory, dinosaur eggs took ages to hatch, you really need to stop cleaning your ears, and cash may be a public health risk

This week I learned there's a pretty good chance you consumed your twin in utero, that garlic can make you smell better, the fascinating story behind a classic tongue twister, and that reindeer eyes change colors with the season.

This week I learned our earliest ancestors brushed their teeth, the story behind one of the most delightfully bizarre photos on the internet, that doctors can detect cancer from your breath, and that we should all be taking more saunas.

This week I learned how to tell if a rat is smiling, that viruses may be evolving to go easy on women, the science of why you shouldn't go to bed angry, and the bizarre ways movie producers made it snow on their sets in the 1940s.

This week I learned that a plant can learn to change its behavior, poaching has changed the genetic pool of African elephants, sleep deprivation has mood-lifting benefits, and your digital music is being stripped of its joyous tones.

This week I learned your brain doesn't know the difference between feeling high and feeling spiritual, that dogs may actually be self-aware, there's a spider species that's breaking the parenting mold, and the science of freezing and thawing your food.

This week I learned why we say "hello" when we pick up the phone, why making eye contact can seem so impossible, that there was another Gettysburg Address, and the one government agency with a catchy themes song.

This week I learned that the Earth's shifting center of mass moves Australia, that pigs can be optimists, that George Washington was a medical marvel for his time, and that "baby shows" were once a popular pastime.

This week I learned how the fear of death improves your athletic game, that it's better if you don't wash your office coffee mug, why we get a lump in our throat when we cry, and that American workers get way less vacation time than medieval peasants.

This week I learned you can stop pressing the elevator close button, that having friends at the gym isn't helping you any, disgust is a confidence booster, and marijuana might just improve your night vision.