We Hate Movies

On this week's episode, the gang heads to Chicago by way of Kentucky to roughhouse with Patrick Swayze and Liam Neeson in the action packed family drama, Next of Kin! How many ponytails does Swayze have going at once here? Why cast Liam Neeson as a man born and bred in the rich hills of Kentucky coal country? And why is the Chicago mafia specializing in cigarette dispensers and pinball machines? PLUS: Is that noted comedian Ben Stiller playing a Sicilian gangster? Next of Kin stars the legendary Patrick Swayze, Liam Neeson, Bill Paxton, Ben Stiller, Helen Hunt, Michael J. Pollard and Internet madman, Adam Baldwin; directed by John Irvin. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this WHM Mail Bag, the gang talks about weird dog walking incidents, horrendous teachers (it never ends!) and even a few awkward projection booth nightmares.  Do you have a question for the WHM gang? Or maybe a bizarre movie-related story or show-inspired tale you'd like to share? Then write in to the Mail Bag - weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang hits the foggy streets of San Francisco to track down a serial killer with Ashley Judd and Andy Garcia in the totally macho cop flick, Twisted! Oh, of course we start with the creepy character actor from Se7en! How does Ashley Judd not figure out something's up with that wine? And how bad must Andy Garcia's apartment smell being near all those sea lions?! PLUS: Hey, fuck you, Delmarco! Twisted stars Ashely Judd, Andy Garcia, Samuel L. Jackson, David Strathairn, Camryn Manheim, Mark Pellegrino, Titus Welliver and Se7en and The Guest's Leland Orser; directed by Philip Kaufman. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the gang talk about an episode of the recycling superhero adventure show, Captain Planet and the Planeteers! The episode in question is "Talkin' Trash" which originally aired November 13th, 1993. What were the odds we found the one episode of this show with the least amount of Captain Planet? Did we really need the L.A. riots to be "tackled" on this cartoon? And did that kid really fall off a train and die? For more information about Animation Damnation subscribe on Patreon! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang heads to the surface of the moon to tackle the low budget, sci-fi dud, Moontrap! How do you not cast Bruce Campbell as your hotshot hero? Why couldn't they do at least one scene with rear projection instead of small, toy models? And what the hell is that thing sitting on Chekov's head? PLUS: Coming this summer, Walter Koenig stars in, Tiny Die Hard! Moontrap stars Walter Koenig, the great Bruce Campbell and Leigh Lombardi; directed by Robert Dyke, written by Tex Ragsdale which is, without a doubt, the greatest name of all time. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang takes a look at Whoopi Goldberg's Beverly Hills Cop knock-off, Fatal Beauty! Is this as conspicuous as an undercover detective can get? Why was that gentleman eating glass? And once Cher dropped out and the Whoopster was cast, why didn't they change the character from being Italian? PLUS: The guys find Sam Elliot's lion mane... Hypnotic. Fatal Beauty stars Whoopi Goldberg, Sam Elliot, Rubén Blades, Harris Yulin, James Le Gros and Brad Dourif; directed by Tom Holland. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang joins the Sideshow Network just in time to discuss the totally lame and completely joke-less sequel, Teen Wolf Too! Who was demanding sports stay in the story? Is Michael J. Fox's character supposed to be dead in this movie? And who on Earth would think it's a good idea to befriend Stiles? PLUS: The show's recorded in New York, which means it's time, once again, to yell at people out the window! Teen Wolf Too stars Jason Bateman, Kim Darby, John Astin, Paul Sand, James Hampton, Mark Holton, Estee Chandler and Stuart Fratkin as "Stiles"; directed by Christopher Leitch. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode, the gang takes apart the dull-as-dirt Michael Keaton ghost movie, White Noise! How famous does an author have to be before getting their disappearance covered on national news? Why doesn't Michael Keaton's character immediately call the cops on this EVP "expert"? And were they serious with that construction worker? PLUS: A major show development is revealed! White Noise stars Michael Keaton, Ian McNeice, Deborah Kara Unger and Chandra West; directed by Geoffrey Sax. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this month's WHM Mail Bag, the gang reads letters from fans who flipped the "What Are YOU Watching?" trope on its head, got sent to the library basement with a Russian war films on VHS and who once had a history teacher conduct a very inappropriate "contest" in class. If you want your hilarious, weird or socially awkward story read on the air, write in to the WHM Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang breaks the infamous Ten Year Rule to dissect the delayed, but insane, Seventh Son! Julianne Moore as a witch, or whatever? Jeff Bridges as a witch slayer, or whatever? And what's with Jon Snow at the beginning? PLUS: He was The Dude, goddammit! Seventh Son stars Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Ben Barnes, Olivia Williams and Kit Harington -- briefly; directed by Sergey Bodrov. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the guys tackle an episode of Captain N: The Game Master entitled, "Happy Birthday, Megaman". Why does Megaman look and sound like a talking garbage can? Why is Simon Belmont acting like a snooty Johnny Bravo? And who is that Princess? PLUS: Welcome to The Pleasure Zone! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang gets all Father Merrin as they attempt to exorcise the silly Exorcist wannabe, Stigmata! Well before her Boyhood nomination, Patricia Arquette starred in a film with music by Billy Corgan and wardrobe by Jellies! What's with all the freaking out here? Why is Gabriel Byrne's character such a jerk? And how close is too close before you're ripping off a cinematic classic? PLUS: Eric reveals the best kept secret of the popular computer game, Diablo! Stigmata stars Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne, Jonathan Pryce, Nia Long, Enrico Colantoni and the great Rade Serbedzija; directed by Rupert Wainwright. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang kick off Oscar Month with the ridiculous serial killer snooze, Taking Lives! Sure, he's nominated for Best Supporting Actor this year, but back in 2004, Boyhood was still a decade off and Ethan Hawke had to keep the lights on somehow! How did they think they could cover up that Hawke is the killer? How are there no Canadian accents in this French-Canadian thriller? And why did Gena Rowlands bother keeping that little murderer's bedroom in such great shape? PLUS: That old guy that will evaluate your artistic ability via the mail really, really likes Kiefer Sutherland. Taking Lives stars Angelina Jolie, Ethan Hawke, Gena Rowlands, Kiefer Sutherland, Olivier Martinez, Paul Dano and Tchéky Karyo; directed by D.J. Caruso. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

This month on the WHM Mail Bag, the gang read letters involving awkward dad screenings, a love that was never meant to be, and some of the absolute worst teachers in the country that were somehow all situated in one, single high school. PLUS: World renowned script doctor, Eric Movie, drops by to get in on the mail bag fun!   If you want your weird, movie-related stories read on the air, write in to the WHM Mail Bag - weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode the gang goes undercover with Arnold and the rest of his crummy DEA friends in the super embarrassing, pee-smelling crime drama, Sabotage! What is with all these ridiculous nicknames? We're looking at you, Monster! How hilarious is it when Arnold tells off that fat guy? And what on the planet Earth is with Olivia Williams' accent? PLUS: Indy got in the fridge for feminism! Sabotage stars Olivia Williams, Harold Perrineau and The Team: Arnold Schwarzenegger as "Breacher", Sam Worthington as "Monster", Joe Manganiello as "Grinder", Josh Holloway as "Neck", Terrence Howard as "Sugar", Max Martini as "Pyro", Kevin Vance as "Tripod", Mark Schlegel as "Smoke" Jennings and Mireille Enos as... Lizzy; directed by David Ayer. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode, the gang starts finding a pattern in the worst films of 2014 as they tackle another demon/monster movie with Dracula Untold! Why try to make the audience sympathize with a notorious mass murderer? Why did we need Vampire Cam? And why did Dracula need to have a Spider-man-esque "finding my powers" sequence? PLUS: Let the games being! (At least according to Charles Dance...) Dracula Untold stars Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper and Charles Dance; directed by Gary Shore. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies 

On this week's episode, the gang tackles what Andrew swears is "one of the worst films" he's ever seen. It's the magical, flying horse, angry demon epic, Winter's Tale! How is someone sneaking into the attic of Grand Central Terminal in 2014? Why did the horse's wings have to look that terrible? And who on Earth taught Russell Crowe that Irish accent? PLUS: Peter Falk criticizes other people's decisions. DOUBLE PLUS: Eric proposes a new Olympic event! Winter's Tale stars Jessica Brown Findlay, Colin Farrell, Russell Crowe, William Hurt, Graham Greene, Jennifer Connelly and... Will Smith; directed by Akiva Goldsman. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

We're back! Kicking off 2015 with the Worst of 2014, the gang tackles one of the biggest, most useless stinkers in show history, I, Frankenstein! How many times can you use the world gargoyle before going insane? Is Adam Frankenstein sterile? And why on planet Earth would you try to wrap this into Underworld Marvel-style? PLUS: Everyone gets Monster Mash-ed! It's good to be back! I, Frankenstein stars Aaron Eckhart, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto, Bill Nighy, Jai Courtney, Bruce Spence and Kevin Grevioux; directed by Stuart Beattie. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this Animation Damnation, the gang takes a terrifying look at the Life with Louie Christmas special, "A Christmas Surprise for Mrs. Stillman"! Caution: Impressions of both Louie Anderson and Roseanne Barr abound!  Okay, now this is really all the material we have for 2014. Have a fantastic holiday season and we'll see you all in 2015. Thanks so much for listening this year! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On the final episode of 2014, the gang talks about the ridiculous, Christmas-set sequel, Look Who's Talking Now! Why exactly is this woman chasing after John Travolta? Why are these dogs and babies born knowing everything? And just how close does Kirstie Alley's character get to a complete nervous breakdown? PLUS: Our Sucker Punchmentary is available now! Look Who's Talking Now stars John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Diane Keaton and Danny DeVito; directed by Tom Ropelewski. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies