We Hate Movies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the guys chat about the ridiculous Rankin & Bass holiday special, Rudolph's Shiny New Year, which originally aired December 10th, 1976. Is this anything more than a cheap cash grab off the success of the first Rudolph film? What happened to that camel with a clock in its back? And could they not think of a better lesson than "suck it up and deal"? PLUS: A sneak preview of some 2016 Animation Damnation plans! Rudolph's Shiny New Year stars Red Skelton, Frank Gorshin, Billie Mae Richards, and Morey Amsterdam; directed by Jules Bass and Arthur Rankin Jr. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this month's WHM Mail Bag episode, the guys read stories about obnoxious movie theater tag alongs, horrendously embarrasing movie moments (and the friendships that are tested during them), and one extreme example of eating healthy. PLUS: Was there a Muppet in The Passion of the Christ?   If you want your weird stories read or questions answered on the air, write in to the WHM Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of WHM On-Screen: Long story short - we liked it a lot. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On the Christmas episode of We Hate Movies, the guys check out the ridiculous holiday classic(?), Santa Claus: The Movie! What's with the opening of the film featuring Santa and Mrs. Claus freezing to death? Where did these elves come up with this Santa idea in the first place? And why in the world are we waiting OVER AND HOUR to bring John Lithgow into the film? PLUS: Jesse "The Body" Ventura weighs in on the movie... and a lot more. Santa Claus: The Movie stars Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, and Burgess Meredith; directed by Jeannot Szwarc.  Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, Star Wars Week continues here at We Hate Movies as the guys talk about the much-longer-than-Star Wars Star Wars film, Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones! Marvel at the horrendous dialogue! Be confused by the convoluted plot! And stick around for the outdated special effects! PLUS: Turns out Cliegg Lars is the biggest slime ball in the galaxy. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones stars Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Christopher Lee, Samuel L. Jackson, Frank Oz, and Ian McDiarmid; directed by George Lucas. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this special WHM On-Screen rerun to kick off Star Wars Week here at WHM, the gang revisits the time they traveled to a galaxy far, far away around the holidays and found The Star Wars Holiday Special! Remember this beloved holiday conversation as Andrew, Chris and Eric chat about the potential of a Vince McMahon-run wookie football league, Chewbacca's humble domestic goals, and the possibility of using this wretched special as a sonic weapon at Gitmo! The Star Wars Holiday Special stars Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, Kenny Baker, Bea Arthur, and Art Carney; directed by Steve Binder. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On We Hate Movies' 5th anniversary show, the gang sits down to chat about the unnecessary - but not terrible! - sequel, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey! Witness the rare George Carlin action sequence! Marvel at the horribly dated slurs! Bow before the annoying and cheesy Grim Reaper! PLUS: Eric vs. Frank Welker comes to a head! Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey stars Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, George Carlin, William Sadler, Joss Ackland, and Pam Grier; directed by Peter Hewitt. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang heads to Dark Heart's summer camp in the totally batshit insane, Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation! What's with the whole retconning of the Care Bear universe? What's the big deal about becoming 'Camp Champ'? And who in the world thought the idea of a demon stuffing the souls of beloved creatures into rubies was appropriate for three year-olds? PLUS: WARNING - We know some of you listen to this with your kids. Despite the film selection, make no mistake - this episode hits about an 11 on the Sleaze-o-Meter! Cares Bears Movie II: A New Generation stars Hadley Kay, Chris Wiggins, Cree Summer, Alyson Court, and Michael Fantini; directed by Dale Schott. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang goes back to the beach to spend another couple days with Rich, Larry, and old Bern in Weekend at Bernie's II! How did they not have a more... accurate production design with that porno theater? What happened with Gwen? And how is this zombie not talking? PLUS: Sweet Jeff Dahmer calls a couple customer service lines. Weekend at Bernie's II stars Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, Terry Kiser, Troy Byer, Barry Bostwick, Tom Wright, Steve James, and Novella Nelson as "The Mobu"; directed by Robert Klane. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this month's WHM Mail Bag, the gang reads some fan letters sparking a chat about accidentally returning porno to the video store, Freddy vs. Jason sex play, throwing up at the movies, as well as a letter from one happy couple who found love with the help of WHM. If you want one of your crazy stories read on the air, or have a question you need us to answer, write in to the Mail Bag - weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of WHM On-Screen, the gang sits down to have a quick chat about Spectre. A slight case of "Different Opinions on We Hate Movies" turns up as the guys debate things like the merits of all the franchise references, that Sam Smith song, Bond's Scooby team, Daniel Craig's potential return, and, of course, their personal rankings of all the Craig films. PLUS: Was that art director into tentacle porn or what? Spectre stars Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux, Ralph Fiennes, Monica Bellucci, Ben Whishaw, Naomie Harris, Dave Bautista, Andrew Scott, Rory Kinnear, Jesper Christensen, and Dame Judi Dench as Jamie Kennedy; directed by Sam Mendes.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang kicks off a two week Bernie-a-thon with the coked-out, bad decision-filled nonsense-fest, Weekend at Bernie's! How do you create such lackluster mafia characters? How does no one see how creepy Silverman's character is? And how is Bernie's corpse not torn to shreds by the end of all this? PLUS: Vince McMahon and Stone Cold Steve Austin pen the script for a Bernie's remake. Bah gawd! Weekend at Bernie's stars Jonathan Silverman, Andrew McCarthy, Terry Kiser, Catherine Mary Stewart, and Don Calfa; directed by Ted Kotcheff. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the guys tackle the totally wrongheaded James Bond Jr.! The episode in question, "Garden of Evil", which aired December 4th, 1991, raises such burning questions as why is James Bond Jr. the nephew of James Bond? How was it okay to make Dr. No this racist looking in the 90s? And how come every stupid kid on this show has to be related to an actual Bond franchise character?  PLUS: Your fair share of Jim Webb jokes! Some might say it's even more than your fair share! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode, the gang heads back to the comic world to chat about the disasterous, embarrassing, lazy, multi-cut, train wreck, Supergirl! Why does Faye Dunaway need to be a witch in this movie? What's with the instant love spell excluding dudes? And is Zaltar the biggest pervert in the galaxy? PLUS: How about a squirt? Supergirl stars Helen Slater, Faye Dunaway, Peter O'Toole, Hart Bochner, Maureen Teefy, Mia Farrow, Marc McClure, Brenda Vaccaro, and Peter Cook; directed by Jeannot Szwarc. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this week's episode, the gang gets all dolled up in their best tuxedos and terrible hair pieces to chat about the 1983 (unofficial) Bond film, Never Say Never Again! Could they not pony up the extra dough for the traditional shoot at the camera opening? Why bother trying to make Bond clean and sober? And did Blofeld really invent YouTube? PLUS: James Bond just loves cold Burger King. Never Say Never Again stars Sean Connery, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Max von Sydow, Barbara Carrera, Rowan Atkinson, Bernie Casey, and Kim Basinger; directed by Irvin Kershner. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this spooktacular edition of On-Screen, the gang ranks the entire Friday the 13th franchise from best to worst! Going off of Chris Cabin's column on Collider, Andrew, Steve, and Eric go through their favorite entries and most hated sequels one by one! When trying to sum up some of these films, Steve puts it best with, "It's like, oh, would you rather eat dog shit or cow shit?" Find out which shit sequels we find most delicious! And be sure to check back with Collider.com for more Chris Cabin dispatches! Happy Halloween, gang! Stay safe out there! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the gang keeps things spooktacular as they rip into the terribly ill-conceived cartoon adaptation, Beetlejuice! The episode in question is entitled, "Laugh of the Party", which originally aired October 7th, 1989. Why is Beetlejuice flying everywhere? What's with setting up this preteen girl with a monster? And will this be the only time Jeffrey Jones is turned into a cartoon? PLUS: The guys weigh in on the probability of Beetlejuice 2 being terrible. Short answer? Just see Michael Keaton in Spotlight. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this episode, the 2015 Halloween Spooktacular wraps up as the gang takes a bite out of the lame Stephen King (or should we say Richard Bachman?) adaptation, Thinner! Why wasn't Stephen King's character cursed as well? We get the motivation for the Thinner curse, but what inspired Lizard? And why did we need that dream sequence? PLUS: The gang gets ripped at a New Jersey Medieval Times. Thinner stars Robert John Burke, Joe Mantegna, Kari Wuhrer, and Lucinda Jenney; directed by Tom Holland. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

On this edition of WHM Mail Bag, the gang makes contact with long lost co-host, Chris Cabin, to talk about strange New York City stories, pervs hanging around libraries, and different movie advertisements that freaked us out. PLUS: Eric vs. Al Roker in a Loser Leaves Town Match! If you'd like your strange stories told on the air, or have burning questions for the guys you need answered, write in to the Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

This week on the 2015 WHM Spooktacular, it's Franchise Time as the gang heads to Crystal Lake by way of Springwood to challenge the long awaited 2003 monster team-up, Freddy vs. Jason! Why do they insist on reminding us about Freddy and Jason's backstories? How do they not capitalize on any previously existing supporting characters in either franchise? And how do you have the audacity to recast Kane Hodder? PLUS: That sure is a whole lot of homophobia and racism, screenplay! Freddy vs. Jason stars Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Monica Keena, Jason Ritter, Kelly Rowland, Katharine Isabelle and Lochlyn Munro; directed by Ronny Yu. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies