We Hate Movies

Happy Halloween, gang! Just in time for the year's greatest holiday, we're here to rank the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise! With wretched jokes, ridiculous back stories, actually produced fan fiction, a crude remake, and one Grade-A Tom Arnold/Roseanne Barr cameo, the Nightmare franchise has somehow aged into one of the worst of the "big" horror franchises. PLUS: John Saxon will always be there for a friend to ask, "How ya holdin' up?" Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, the 2017 Halloween Spooktacular pulls back into Franchise Town by discussing the 2004 extreeeeeme smash hit, Saw! How does Jigsaw lay on that floor for so long without cramping? Did he really need the puppet after all that other Mouse Trap nonsense? And how many times have the people making this movie seen Se7en? PLUS: Chris Cabin will be monitoring the "Asshole Count" in all Saw sequels from here on out—Jigsaw included! Saw stars Cary Elwes, Danny Glover, Leigh Whannell, Ken Leung, Monica Potter, and Michael Emerson; directed by James Wan.  Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang goes back to Craven Country to discuss the bloated sequel, Scream 2! What's with all the emotional scenes reuniting characters from the first movie? How are we supposed to believe that Laurie Metcalf lifted Jamie Kennedy up off the ground? And why does David Warner insist on this college theater production continue despite the multiple murders? PLUS: Terminator 2: Budnick Day! Scream 2 stars Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Laurie Metcalf, Jamie Kennedy, Jerry O'Connell, Timothy Olyphant, Liev Schreiber, Omar Epps, Jada Pinkett Smith, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Duane Martin; directed by Wes Craven. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the 2017 Halloween Spooktacular takes a sick day with the ridiculously fun 90's slasher, Dr. Giggles! What's with this veteran cop wearing NFL merchandise? Who's responsible for that horrendous prop vanilla ice cream? How did this film never get a sequel—direct to DVD or otherwise? And what's with this kid and his mom's underwear? PLUS: Dr. Mario is actually just Mario Mario's 1970's drug dealer persona! Dr. Giggles stars Larry Drake, Holly Marie Combs, Cliff De Young, Glenn Quinn, Keith Diamond, Richard Bradford, and Doug E. Doug; directed by Manny Coto. Be sure to catch our live commentary over I Know What You Did Last Summer, October 27th at the Jacob Burns Film Center's fourth annual Halloween Marathon! Get your tickets here—the early bird passes are still available until 10/18!  Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, we kick off the 2017 Halloween Spooktacular by tackling the super-silly, super-stupid, Freddy sequel, Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare! Why did they stop trying to make these movies scary? What's with those quotes at the beginning? And did anyone really care to learn this much about Freddy's back story? PLUS: We play another round of the classic game: Ponytail or Rat Tail?  Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare stars Robert Englund, Lisa Zane, Shon Greenblatt, Lezlie Deane, Ricky Dean Logan, Breckin Meyer, Yaphet Kotto, Tom Arnold, Roseanne Barr, and Oprah Noodlemantra; directed by Rachel Talalay. Be sure to catch our live commentary over I Know What You Did Last Summer, October 27th at the Jacob Burns Film Center's fourth annual Halloween Marathon! Get your tickets here!  Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang finally gets around to a hotly anticipated title, the absolutely fun and ridiculous, Samurai Cop! The final selection in the now-defunct Patreon Selects tier, this D-Grade cult classic features one of the worst wigs in cinema history, no less than five parking lot fight scenes, and several goons on PCP! PLUS: Patrick Stewart and the TNG cast get dragged to the film's big Hollywood "premiere!" Samurai Cop stars Robert Z'Dar, Mathew Karedas (here as Matt Hannon), Janis Farley, Mark Frazier, Melissa Moore, Gerald Okamura, Dale Cummings, Cranston Komuro, and Joselito Rescober as "Costa Rican Waiter"; directed by Amir Shervan. And hey, gang, be sure to catch us this year at the L.A. Podfest, October 6-8. More information is available at www.lapodfest.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the guys go back to school with the spectacularly ridiculous, high school spy comedy, If Looks Could Kill! Why doesn't Richard Grieco just sit these people down and explain the situation calmly? How often were they waxing his eyebrows on set? And how much of this film was stolen by later Bond films—or was it the other way around? PLUS: A big bit of information about our L.A. Podfest appearance!  If Looks Could Kill stars Richard Grieco, Roger Rees, Linda Hunt, Robin Bartlett, Gabrielle Anwar, and Roger Daltrey; directed by William Dear. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the first WHM Mail Bag of season 8, the guys read letters from listeners about accidentally going on a blind date with a racist, sleazy creeps in grade school stealing toys from their friends, throwing up while watching Fellowship of the Ring, and more! If YOU want YOUR weird stories read on the air, or if you have questions for the gang, write into the mail bag—weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the SEASON EIGHT premiere of WHM, the guys return just in time to have some fun with the cult classic TV gem, It! Why did they make this movie for ABC and not for the theaters? Did the It monster kill off the dinosaurs? And what is with that ponytail?! PLUS: Harry Anderson and Richard Dean Anderson get mixed up... a lot. It stars Tim Curry, Harry Anderson, Dennis Christopher, Richard Masur, Annette O'Toole, Tim Reid, John Ritter, Jonathan Brandis, Seth Green, and Richard Thomas;; directed by Tommy Lee Wallace. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Recorded live at the Bell House in Brooklyn, NY — 8/05/17 On this week's episode, the guys finally get around to trashing the feature-length McDonald's commercial, Mac and Me! How is it these alien puppets' mouths were shaped so it was impossible for them to eat McDonald's products? Why didn't that mother tell those kids about the cliff? And you can NOT just jump to a citizenship scene like that! PLUS: Lots of talk about UFOs and aliens "coring out" livestock! Mac and Me stars Christine Ebersole, Jonathan Ward, Tina Caspary, Jade Calegory, and Ronald McDonald as 'Himself;' directed by Stewart Raffill. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this special WHM On-Screen, the guys gather 'round to chat about the seventh—and shortest!—season of HBO's Game of Thrones! What's with all the wonky and wacky geography that's going on in this season? Does the shortened season hurt the show or help it? And was Maisie Williams taking notes from Anthony Hopkins? PLUS: Game of Thrones and Married with Children aren't as different as you may think! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the final Summer Rewind of the year, the gang reminisces about their favorite holiday special, the episode on One Magic Christmas! How in the world did something so depressing qualify as a Christmas film? Who thought casting the legendary Harry Dean Stanton as an angel was a good idea—give that person a raise! And did that dude really say "Doritachips"? PLUS: Santa the evil necromancer!  One Magic Christmas stars Mary Steenburgen, Harry Dean Stanton, Elias Koteas, and Sarah Polley; directed by Phillip Borsos. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Recorded live, Saturday, June 24th, 2017 On this week's episode, it's the second recording of two sold-out shows the guys played in Portland, Oregon earlier this summer. Fresh from an awesome not-for-profit bar in town, the guys lovingly ripped apart the beloved Stallone classic, Over the Top! Why doesn't the movie tell you the reason Stallone is estranged? Did Lincoln Hawk really have to deliver all that Brute? And how could that kid crawl under those disgusting bleachers? PLUS: The Zodiac Killer comes out of retirement for one last kill! Over the Top stars Sylvester Stallone, Robert Loggia, Rick Zumwalt, David Mendenhall, and Terry Funk; directed by the legendary Menahem Golan. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's Summer Rewind, the guys revisit the first time they made fun of a Star Trek movie: Star Trek: Insurrection! Why does F. Murray Abraham look like a testicle face? Did we really need this Data bubble butt? And why did Data need to bond with this little kid? PLUS: Quark's adventures in Space Thailand. Star Trek: Insurrection stars Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden, Marina Sirtis, F. Murray Abraham; directed by Jonathan Frakes. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Recorded live, Saturday, June 24th, 2017 On this week's episode, the guys are live from Mississippi Studios in the gorgeous city of Portland! Taking a break from the beautiful world of recreational dispensaries, the fellas try to get to the bottom of: Why wasn't Paul Giamatti cast as Galactus? Why did they bother jamming Doctor Doom in this sequel? And would the Thing really be able to fly on a commercial airplane? PLUS: Remember on Friends when Ross had to murder his own monkey? Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer stars Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis, Julian McMahon, Kerry Washington, Andre Braugher, and Laurence Fishburne; directed by Tim Story. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's Summer Rewind, the gang looks back at their episode on the sci-fi classic, Freejack! Why wouldn't they set this film a little farther in the future than 2009? Who thought about hiring Mick Jagger as the main villain? And how many movies does Emilio star in where he's constantly sitting in various automobiles? PLUS: The birth of our terrible Jonathan Banks impression!  Freejack stars Emilio Estevez, Mick Jagger, Rene Russo, Anthony Hopkins, David Johansen, and Jonathan Banks; directed by Geoff Murphy. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this WHM On-Screen, the gang chats about the audience favorite, Spider-Man: Homecoming! An above average entry in the MCU, the film has everything: low stakes, working class criminals; a worthwhile, entertaining supporting buddy for Peter Parker; just the right amount of RDJ presence; and not a single mention of Uncle Ben! PLUS: No gross web orifices!  Spider-Man: Homecoming stars Tom Holland, Michael Keaton, Robert Downey Jr., Marisa Tomei, Jon Favreau, Jacob Batalon, Zendaya, Donald Glover, and Gwyneth Paltrow; directed by Jon Watts. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's Summer Rewind, the gang revisit an old favorite, episode 102 on Batman Forever! Why do we get Two Face's origin in two seconds, but the Riddler's gets 45 minutes of screen time? Why couldn't we get more with Robin's carny family? And could Pat Hingle have played a more buffoonish Commissioner Gordon? PLUS: One of the earliest instances of the "Ma, get in here" kid!  Batman Forever stars Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O'Donnell, Michael Gough, Drew Barrymore, and Debi Mazar; directed by Joel Schumacher. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the seventh season of We Hate Movies wraps up with a lengthy discussion of the total misfire that is Spider-Man 3! Why try and jam in three villains when the first two films only had one a piece? Why does Peter Parker continue to be such an absolute LOSER? And why does Thomas Haden Church only say variations on three different sentences? PLUS: Jeremy Renner and Mickey Mouse present together at the Academy Awards! Spider-Man 3 stars Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rosemary Harris, J.K. Simmons, James Cromwell, Bill Nunn, Dylan Baker, Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi, and Elizabeth Banks; directed by Sam Raimi. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the final WHM Mail Bag of the season, the gang reads some letters about dating obnoxious Transformers fans, using the wrong film for a Hangover Movie, fathers mistakenly thinking their kids are perverts at the movies, getting grounded for listening to WHM, and weirdos pleasuring themselves in South Carolina second-run theaters! PLUS: Edward Snowden fights the good fight against obscene video store late fees! The Mail Bag is taking the rest of the summer off, so for September, we want to read your school-related letters on the air! Bad film-themed college parties? Common room movie nights gone wrong? Lazy teachers showing you Fern Gully? We want to hear about it! Write into the Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.