We Hate Movies

On this week's episode, the gang chats about a flagship film in the Full Moon Entertainment catalog, Dollman! How amazing are all these ultra-violent, ultra-cheap special effects? Why does Jackie Earle Haley want to "rule" the Bronx? And why couldn't we see Dollman standing next to a giant Coke can or something? PLUS: The latest in ridiculous WHM fake movie titles — We Bought A Zoo 2: We Blew Up A Zoo! Dollman stars Tim Thomerson, Jackie Earle Haley, Kamala Lopez, Humberto Ortiz, Nicholas Guest, and Frank Collison; directed by Albert Pyun. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this very special WHM On-Screen, it's WHM: Civil War as the gang squares off over the latest—and largest—entry into the MCU, Avengers: Infinity War! Was Thor & Rocket's storyline secretly the best Thor movie ever made? Who saw Doctor Strange awesomely getting this much screen time? And why are we wasting so much time on Vision, a character who had already accepted his own death? PLUS: Ya think Thanos needs intergalactic Cialis? Avengers: Infinity War stars Robert Downey Jr. Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Don Cheadle, Tom Holland, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olson, Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, Danai Gurira, Letitia Wright, Dave Bautista, Zoe Saldana, Josh Brolin, Chris Pratt, Karen Gillan, Tom Hiddleston, Idris Elba, Peter Dinklage, Benedict Wong, Pom Klementieff, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Gwyneth Paltrow, Benicio Del Toro, William Hurt, Tom Vaughan-Lawlor, Carrie Coon, Winston Duke; directed by Anthony Russo & Joe Russo. Unlo

On this week's show, the gang goes globetrotting with two dying old farts in Rob Reiner's The Bucket List! Why does the film take so long before we even hear mention of a Bucket List? How much does Morgan Freeman's character hate his family? And how many prostitutes does Nicholson's character have on speed dial? PLUS: The gang loves the classic James L. Brooks film, You Gotta Do It!  The Bucket List stars Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman, Sean Hayes, Beverly Todd, Rob Morrow, and Alfonso Freeman; directed by Rob Reiner. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, it's a We Love Movies situation as the guys chat about the totally tubular rollerblading romantic drama, Airborne! Were this kid's parents actually going on a science expedition or were they running away from the Tax Man? Why did we need the "I'm Too Sexy" montage? And here comes Mrs. Poole! PLUS: Liam Neeson and Al Pacino go back to high school! Airborne stars Shane McDermott, Seth Green, Brittney Powell, Chris Conrad, Edie McClurg, Patrick Thomas O'Brien, Jack Black, Alanna Ubach, and Jacob Vargas; directed by Rob Bowman. And we're super-stoked to debut a particularly rad cover of our theme song—originally written by our friends in Hurrah A Bolt of Light—that was sent in by Kevin from San Pedro. You can check out his bandcamp here and find him on Instagram @kevhauntsthemachine! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang welcomes back their good friend, and WHM Disaster Movie Expert, Justin J. Case to chat about the TV-to-Film adaptation, Lost in Space! Why does that intro narration sound like we missed the first 30 seconds? How much scenery is Oscar-winner Gary Oldman chewing? And what is with that spider? PLUS: Andrew and Chris present their favorite executions from Martin Scorsese's Silence! Lost in Space stars William Hurt, Mimi Rogers, Heather Graham, Lacey Chabert, Jack Johnson, Gary Oldman, Matt LeBlanc, and Jared Harris; directed by Stephen Hopkins. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang chats about the 100-minute motorcycle gay joke, Wild Hogs! What a wretched undertaking this whole thing is—who is this for? Why did the screenwriters, director and actors all feel it necessary to cram in all these wretched, panicky, gay jokes? Why can't we root for the Del Fuegos instead of the Wild Hogs? And what a godsend Stephen Tobolowsky's presence is in this movie! PLUS: The guys work up the idea for a new screenplay written specifically for Tobo: Chili Cook-off: The Motion Picture! Wild Hogs stars Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, John C. McGinley, William H. Macy, Marisa Tomei, Ray Liotta, Kevin Durand, M.C. Gainey, Jill Hennessy, the Sklar Brothers, and the great Stephen Tobolowsky; directed by Walt Becker. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the guys go to Toon Town to talk about the doesn't-really-hold-up fan favorite, Shrek! Does that ogre eat its own feces? How many fart jokes can you fit in before the opening credits finish? And was Lord Farquaad getting ready to pleasure himself and make the Magic Mirror watch? PLUS: A writer for Gangbang Monthly gets his credentials in order to make the first Shrek press screening! Shrek stars the vocal talents of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow, and Vincent Cassel; directed by Vicky Jenson & Andrew Adamson. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's dive into the WHM Mail Bag, the guys read letters about prank call victims getting revenge, people forever associating 9/11 with the Jerky Boys, after hours theater sex-hijinks, pushy foot fetishists, and one lucky listener who got to share the stage with Gallagher! If you have a question for the gang, or want your crazy story read on the air, write into the Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the 2018 Listener Request Month mercifully comes to an end with the absolutely ridiculous, I Know Who Killed Me! Is this a movie within a movie, or is this actually a movie within a movie within a movie? Is this supposed to be a horror film or not? And where did that cigarette go? PLUS: George Lucas taunts Spielberg, Abrams, and Johnson while smoking a doob!  I Know Who Killed Me stars Bonnie Aarons, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Adler, Julia Ormond, Neal McDonough, and Art Bell; directed by Chris Sivertson. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the 2018 Listener Request Month rolls on with the totally insane perv-a-thon film no one asked for, 1981's Tarzan the Ape Man! What a TRASH pile of a film! Why do we have to wait 45 minutes for Tarzan to show up? Did we need all those sexy incestuous overtones from Richard Harris? And what the ever-loving shit was John Derek thinking with that snake fight? PLUS: Drunken explorers tell tall tales at the U.K. equivalent of Applebee's—whatever that is! Tarzan the Ape Man stars Bo Derek, Richard Harris, John Phillip Law, and Miles O'Keeffe; directed by John Derek. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the latest episode from the 2018 Listener Request Month selections, the gang talks about the absolutely terrible horror sequel, I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer! Who in the world thought taking this franchise in a paranormal direction was a good idea? Couldn't they cast a single notable actor in this film? And who were these kids trying to prank? PLUS: President Barack Obama does the right thing and outlaws Toby Keith's "I Love This Bar."  I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer stars Brooke Kevin, David Paetkau, Torrey DeVitto, Ben Easter, Seth Packard, K.C. Clyde, Clayton Taylor, Michael Flynn, and Don Shanks; directed by Sylvain White. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Recorded at the North Door in Austin, Texas On this special bonus episode, the gang is live from Austin chatting about the absolute misfire that is Stephen King's Maximum Overdrive! What is supposed to be suspenseful about these silly trucks? What is with the mandatory AC/DC soundtrack? And how much cocaine is too much cocaine for a directorial debut? PLUS: Gallagher's failed attempts to make the pineapple hilarious—KEEERSPLATT!  Maximum Overdrive stars Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle, Laura Harrington, Yeardley Smith, Holter Graham, Marla Maples, Giancarlo Esposito, and Frankie Faison; directed by Stephen King. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang kicks off the 2018 Listener Request Month with one of the absolute most abhorrent things anyone has ever tried to call a a movie, The Jerky Boys! Who's the fool who thought two prank phone call-making schlubs would translate into charismatic film actors? How was Alan Arkin tricked into sleep-acting through this one? And what is with this Mickey Mouse mafia? PLUS: Max von Sydow gets in on the fun and makes a few prank calls of his own!  The Jerky Boys stars John G. Brennan, Kamal Ahmed, Alan Arkin, William Hickey, Alan North, Brad Sullivan, James Lorinz, Suzanne Shepherd, and Vincent Pastore; directed by James Melkonian. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this year's very special WHM Oscar Special, the gang makes their predictions as to who will take home what this year, but also rants about who they think should actually win! Will Laurie Metcalf pull it out from under Allison Janney? Why in the world did Meryl Streep get nominated for The Post? Will the stupid Academy acknowledge the greatness of Get Out? And will beloved The Boss Baby become an Oscar-winner? PLUS: How many Shreks were nominated?  Check out the gang's prediction success rate this Sunday and tweet along with the guys during the ceremony using #WHMOscars! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's Mail Bag, the guys welcome special guest, Jonathan Braylock, from Black Men Can't Jump (In Hollywood)! This month, we're talking: putting off bathroom breaks at the movies, kids ditching the after prom party to make out at the multiplex, dads ruining movie dates, and overzealous multiplex employees!  Be sure to catch BMCJ & WHM in Austin on Friday, March 10th at the North Door—Part of an entire day's worth of fantastic HeadGum programming! More info here. Have a question for the gang? Want a ridiculous story read on the air? Write into the WHM Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, the guys head back to Bronson with the ridiculous & sad sequel, Death Wish V: The Face of Death! How is a 71 year-old Charles Bronson supposed to be at all menacing? Why, when going into Witness Protection, would Paul Kersey be allowed to keep his first name and work in pretty much the same career? And how are you billing Michael Parks FOURTH? PLUS: The guest list for Amelia Bedelia's funeral is deep!  Death Wish V: The Face of Death stars Charles Bronson, Lesley-Anne Down, Michael Parks, Miguel Sandoval, and Saul Rubinek; directed by Allan A. Goldstein. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this very special WHM On-Screen, the guys chat about the most excellent new Marvel film, Black Panther! Finally, a Marvel film to marvel at! Finally, a Marvel movie with a sympathetic, well-constructed villain! Finally, a gorgeously produced, excellently acted, brilliantly written Marvel movie that doesn't mention or feature Thanos! Finally, four white guys pontificating about Black Panther on the internet! Coogler is a solid three-for-three!  Black Panther stars Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong'o, Danai Gurira, Daniel Kaluuya, Letitia Wright, Winston Duke, Sterling K. Brown, Angela Bassett, Forest Whitaker, Andy Serkis, and Martin Freeman; directed by Ryan Coogler. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang discusses the dirty-ass, Jim Belushi erotic thriller, Traces of Red! Who in their ever-loving mind thought it was a good idea to cast Jim Belushi as this sexy Lothario detective—besides Jim himself, of course? Why couldn't Tony Goldwyn share top billing? And what's with Lorraine Bracco's cough/laugh? PLUS: Domino's Pizza Insurance—the laziest and saddest thing a business could invent.  Traces of Red stars James Belushi, Lorraine Bracco, Tony Goldwyn, William Russ, Faye Grant, and Morgan Cassidy; directed by Andy Wolk.  This episode is brought to you in part by Audible: Visit audible.com/whm or text 'WHM' to 500-500 now to receive a free audiobook download with your 30-day trial membership! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's special Valentine's Day episode, the gang chats about the 1998 cyber thriller, You've Got Mail! How are we supposed to feel any sympathy for this billionaire creep, Joe Fox? How is a massive bookstore company still run like a family business? And just how f*ckable is Greg Kinnear in this one? PLUS: Please note that guys who are obsessed with and constantly quote The Godfather are terrible. You've Got Mail stars Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey, Jean Stapleton, Steve Zahn, Heather Burns, Dave Chappelle, Dabney Coleman, and John Randolph; directed by Nora Ephron. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Recorded live at The Bell House in Brooklyn, New York On this week's episode, it's the guys' set from the 2017 Brooklyn Podcast Festival! At this blessed event, WHM continued the beloved celebration known as Snipesgiving by taking down the wretched sequel, Blade: Trinity! Why did they introduce all these lame white people to "team up" with Blade when all we want is Wesley and only Wesley?! Why did they develop a device that ran off of Dracula's blood before learning that Dracula had been resurrected? And is Whistler actually dead for good this time? PLUS: Hulk Hogan gets cut from The Godfather!  Blade: Trinity stars Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Dominic Purcell, Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds, Parker Posey, and Triple H; directed by David S. Goyer. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.