We Hate Movies

Finally— It's the return of the WHM Mail Bag! This month, the gang is reading letters about dads renting porno movies, people getting scared out of theaters playing horror films, incredibly selfish grandparents, fans ruining an actor's Thanksgiving Eve and more! PLUS: It's Tom Cruise in a hat! If you have any SPOOOOOOOOOOKY stories (or other weird, awkward, funny stories) you want read on the October Mail Bag, write in now! Send your stories and questions to weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang tackles the confused, wrong-headed, obnoxious remake, The Stepford Wives! With a film like this, being remade in the 21st century, why not attach some women to the writer/director roles, eh, Paramount? What does this film think it's trying to say? Why are we forced to think about Broderick's junk? And why. in. the. WORLD could they not decide between ROBOTS OR MICROCHIPS?! PLUS: Is this episode the first time Jimmy Durante was mentioned on a podcast? The Stepford Wives stars Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler, Glenn Close, Roger Bart, Christopher Walken, Jon Lovitz, and Faith Hill; directed by Frank Oz. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's all-new trip into the Magic Ribbon, the gang is chatting about two action-packed episodes of Trek! First, on TOS, the episode in question, "A Taste of Armageddon," originally aired February 23rd, 1967 and features the Enterprise pulling up on yet another—OOPS! This episode is for Patreon subscribers only! To access this full-length episode of The Nexus, head on over to our Patreon page and subscribe today! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang chats about the wretched, but enjoyable, sci-fi sequel, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem! How could they not get any name actor to star— or even co-star!— in this film? Why are those kids just sitting there doing literally nothing when the pizza is delivered? How could they not showcase any more of the Predator home world? PLUS: Could embattled actor/wrassler/media sue-er, Hulk Hogan have had a starring role in the Predator franchise? PLUS PLUS: Where are all the beefcakes? Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem stars Steven Pasquale, Reiko Aylesworth, John Ortiz, Johnny Lewis, Ariel Gade, Kristen Hager, Sam Trammell, and Robert Joy; directed by The Brothers Strause. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's Animation Damnation, the gang is chatting about the weird, silly and cheap George Lucas product, Star Wars: Droids! The episode in question, "A Race to the Finish," originally aired September 28th, 1985, and features such elements as— OOPS! The rest of this episode is for subscribers only! To access the full episode, please have a visit over to our Patreon page! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the gang chats about the complete and total misfire that is Masterminds! How much of the film features Patrick Stewart wearing a fake mustache? What's with this vague television business deal side plot? And how nuts is it that this best friend's serious nickname is K-Dawg? PLUS: Brad Whitford? Masterminds stars Patrick Stewart, Vincent Kartheiser, Brenda Fricker, Bradley "Brad" Whitford, and Callum Keith Rennie; directed by Roger Christian. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's patrons-only full-length episode, the gang is chatting about the outrageously pointless, Steven Spielrock-directed, pop culture orgy, Ready Player One! Why is an entire society obsessed with—OOPS! This episode is for Patreon subscribers only! To access the full conversation about Ready Player One, head on over to our Patreon page! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the season premiere of We Hate Movies, the guys kick things off with a Bedrock-bang as they chat about the insane live-action adaptation, The Flintstones! Was John Goodman wearing any undies during filming? Did a movie about the Flintstones really need lynching? And what kind of script needs 35 writers? PLUS: Steven Spielrock taunts Gorge Lucas on the phone! The Flintstones stars John Goodman, Elizabeth Perkins, Rick Moranis, Rosie O'Donnell, Kyle MacLachlan, Halle Berry, Elizabeth Taylor, and Dann Florek; directed by Brian Levant. Be sure to check out all the new merch designs in our Tee Public store, including new work from Felipe Sobreiro, Carolyn Nowak, and P.L. Boucher! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Recorded live at The Creative Alliance in Baltimore, MD On the final Summer Vacation Live of 2018, it's a real WLM situation as the gang chats about the ridiculously entertaining Stallone vehicle, Cobra! What was he thinking putting that newspaper inside a backyard grill like that? What childhood trauma led Cobretti to cut his frozen pizza with scissors? And is this the worst police sketch in film history? PLUS: Would a Halloween film written and starring Stallone work? (Probably not.) Cobra stars Sylvester Stallone, Brigitte Nielsen, Reni Santoni, Andrew Robinson, Brian Thompson, Lee Garlington, Art LaFleur, and David Rasche; directed by George P. Cosmatos. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's trip into the Nexus, the gang is chatting about two monumental episodes of Trek! First, on TOS, it's finally time to cover the first meeting with Khan in "Space Seed"! Originally airing February 16th, 1967, this episode features Kirk being— OOPS! This episode is for subscribers only! To hear the full-length episode, check out our Patreon page! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Recorded live at The Back Room @ Colectivo in Milwaukee, WI On this week's Summer Vacation Live, the gang is chatting about the off-the-wall 1990's comic book adaptation, Tank Girl! What's the deal with all the animated cut scenes? Why did they bother trying to sex-ify that delousing powder shower scene? And how dare they take an hour to introduce Ice-T?! PLUS: Look out for Batman's latest nemesis, Downloader!  Tank Girl stars Lori Petty, Naomi Watts, Ice-T, Malcolm McDowell, Reg E. Cathey, James Hong, Ann Cusack, and an unfortunate appearance by Iggy Pop; directed by Rachel Talalay. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's all-new PATRONS-ONLY bonus episode, the gang chats about one of the most deceptively titled slashers in horror history: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan! Why are both of these teachers so horny for... OOPS! This episode is only available to our subscribers. To access the full-length show, head on over to our Patreon page and subscribe! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Recorded live at City Winery in Chicago, IL On this week's Summer Vacation Live, the gang chats about the best worst fan film ever made, Jason X! Why couldn't they film even one, single scene outside? How much money are these space scientists actually getting for crates of standard def DVDs? And how do all these people, 400 years in the future, know this much about Jason Voorhees? PLUS: Kane Hodder— method actor?  Jason X stars Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, David Cronenberg, Jonathan Potts, Lisa Ryder, Dov Tiefenbach, Chuck Campbell, Peter Mensah, and Melody Johnson; directed by James Isaac. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Recorded live at the Abrons Art Center on the Lower East Side of Manhattan— Part of the 2018 NYC Podfest. On this week's Summer Vacation Live, the gang chats about the abhorrent, feature-length commercial for a keyboard add-on you can download for free, The Emoji Movie! How does time pass in the twisted Emoji realm known as, ugh, Textopolis? How come Sir Pooptrick Stewart didn't have a bigger role? And why in the world, after meeting him in person, would anyone hire T.J. Miller for anything? PLUS: Returning for its second season this fall, it's the beloved television classic that took the nation by storm, the one and only— wait, what's that? Oh, never mind. Hey, everyone, Alex, Inc. was cancelled after 10 episodes! The Emoji Movie stars Patrick Stewart, James Corden, Anna Faris, Maya Rudolph, Steven Wright, Jennifer Coolidge, Christina Aguilera, Sofia Vergara, Rachael Ray, Sean Hayes, Jeff Ross, and—last, and certainly least— T.J. Miller; directed by Tony Leondis. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon

On this month's trip to Toon Town, the guys chat about what might be, in some people's opinion (Andrew's), one of the greatest cartoons of all time, Rambo! The ri-DIC-ulous episode in question, "Battlefield Bronx," originally aired April 16th, 1986 and features such amazing elements as— OOPS! This episode is for our Patreon subscribers only! To access the full episode, along with countless hours of Animation Damnation, The Nexus (our Star Trek podcast), sync-able commentaries— like our popular Twilight series, and more, head over to our Patreon page! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's season finale, the gang brings the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza, and season eight, to a close with a discussion about one of the most ridiculous disaster movies of the 1990s, Armageddon! What's with this totally pointless Charlton Heston prologue? Why not just train astronauts to use a drill? And why does Rockhound need to be horny all the time? PLUS: Not even Frasier Crane could escape the dreaded Animal Cracker epidemic of 1998! Armageddon stars Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Will Patton, Steve Buscemi, William Fichtner, Owen Wilson, Michael Clarke Duncan, Peter Stormare, Keith David, Jason Isaacs, and Liev Schreiber; directed by Michael Bay. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On the final Mail Bag episode of the season, the gang reads letters about guys jumping into movie riffing a little too early, disgusting water parks, laughing at a Werner Herzog movie right in front of the Master, one guy inappropriately flipping out a projector malfunction, and much, much more! PLUS: Welcome to the SPLISH SPLOSH! WHM Mail Bag is going on hiatus until September, so get your letters ready for the fall! Until then, this mail bag is closed! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza picks on the beloved (?) family (?) classic (?), Rookie of the Year! What's with these annoying little buddies tagging along to their friend's baseball game? Why does Henry Rowengartner talk trash like a 1940's newsboy? And could Bruce Altman's shirts get any louder? PLUS: Gary Busey signs on to Abel Ferrara's live-action Pokémon movie, Dafoekémon! Rookie of the Year stars Thomas Ian Nicholas, Gary Busey, Albert Hall, Amy Morton, Dan Hedaya, Bruce Altman, Eddie Bracken, and Daniel Stern; directed by Daniel Stern. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this month's journey into the Nexus, the gang somehow chats about two fairly decent episodes of Trek! First up on TOS, the episode in question is "The Return of the Archons," which originally aired February 9th, 1967! This episode truly has it all— We're talking—OOPS! This episode is for $8+ Patreon subscribers only! To check out this episode of the Nexus, along with the other 22 previous eps AND access to our sync-able commentaries, sign up to be an $8+ subscriber today! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza continues as the guys chat about the mid-nineties Arnold classic, Eraser! How about that Cromwell office scene, huh? What's with this silly rail gun? And welcome to the movie, Mickey Mouse Mafia! PLUS: Jesse "The Body" Ventura feuds with Sven-Ole Thorsen. Eraser stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vanessa Williams, James Caan, James Coburn, Robert Pastorelli, and James Cromwell; directed by Charles Russell. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.