Murder-suicide Matinee

Happy Thursday everybody! One of the six best days of the week. We're celebrating with the 2004 Garfield movie, and enough alcohol to forget Jon Arbuckle's name halfway through the recording. Points for meditation include: the master of pez, CG Nick Offerman, judging supple dogs, Garfield in the Dutch dimension, and lots of whining about how hard cartoonists have it. Movie: Garfield (2004) Director: Peter Hewitt Rating: live action is way too real we don't like it Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) for more pictures of lasagna you're not allowed to touch. We're also on iTunes! Please do feed us back with your feedback. (https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/murder-suicide-matinee/id1111796206?mt=2) intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

This episode is a little late, because....well. Things happened. Things that took courage to publish. This week, we watched Minions. The only question now is: what will become of us?   Movie: Minions (2015) Directors: Kyle Balda, Pierre Coffin Rating: up is down, black is white, war is peace Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) and watch the last vestiges of our pride circle the drain. We're also on iTunes! Please do feed us back with your feedback. (https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/murder-suicide-matinee/id1111796206?mt=2) intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

With Cami out of town for work, Rosa's sibling Ax steps in to help come to grips with acclaimed Danny DeVito biopic My Little Pony: The Movie. Together we tackle the tough questions. Who is Danny DeVito? Did you know Danny DeVito owned a restaurant? What does Danny DeVito sound like? Why can't we stop saying Danny DeVito? highlights: Danny DeVito, Danny DeVitho, a lot of really bad horses, the happiest abomination on earth, a lot of snickering about vaginas, and a twist ending (starring Danny DeVito) Movie: My Little Pony: The Movie (1986) Director: Mike Joens (as Michael Joens, don't get it twisted) Rating: like getting the junk food of junk food, eating the box, doing a bunch of jumping jacks, staring at yourself in the mirror and then being asked how you feel Horrible guest: Ax (goat-boots.tumblr.com) Our horrible tumblr: murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie    

Listen to the life and willpower drain from our bodies in real-time as we subject ourselves to the surprisingly offensive Sunshine Barry and the Disco Worms. This is absolutely, without doubt, no competition, the worst experience we have had so far. The director, writer, and producers of this movie should be punished. At one point we wondered if we could stop the movie and lie to our audience about watching the whole thing, but we endured. For you. You'd better appreciate it or so help me god. Why is this movie so bizarrely racist? Did the girl worms really need boobs? Why is Barry such an insufferable piece of shit? How do worms play the guitar without arms? Why did we watch this? Why are we doing this? What are we doing with our lives?   Movie: Sunshine Barry and the Disco Worms (2008) Director: Thomas Borch Nielsen Rating: if you absolutely HAVE TO watch this movie, get food poisoning first. studies show it improves the experience.   Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) and contribute to ou

With your hosts off gallivanting around on work trips, we're taking a week off from regular episodes -- but to tide you over, we have a special update on some of the things we've discussed previously. Highlights: Ambluminati confirmed; Cami is wrong, for neither the first or last time. Normal service resumes next week!   As always, hit up the tumblr for everything MSM related. Last week I posted a video of Alan Rickman singing an evil fish song. It's worth it, man. (http://murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com)

Join us this week as we watch a lumpy T-Rex play golf and scat about prehistory in radical New York City! It's 1993's We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story -- the movie with more plot beats in its title than it accomplishes in 72 minutes of screentime. We get really sad in this episode. Sad that this movie exists, sad that we watched it. Sad about John Goodman's animation debut and sad about Yeardley Smith's wasted talents. We promise to never get this sad again. Highlights: the mystery of the Thanksgiving Hat; Cami explains the woo scene; Rosa is cheated out of a good villain; Jay Leno's OC Vorb; appreciation for a dinosaur with a deflated head   Movie: We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story (1993) Directors: Phil Nibbelink, Simon Wells, Dick Zondag, Ralph Zondag  Rating: a real bummer   Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) for supplementary show notes, episode stills, and whatever else Rosa has scraped from under her nails this week! intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

This week's episode goes off the rails fast, as we attempt to decode the thoroughly incompetent 1988 animated adaptation of Les Miserables. An inspirational life story, time travel, interdimensional clones, blue jeans, poorly mixed cocktails and a mystery narrator come together to reveal truths about our universe we just weren't ready for. Oh, also a revolution or something. Has Jean Valjean tried EVERY door? Who is Javert? What the fuck is Marius' name?  Is there a universe where any of this makes sense? Where can I purchase a whipping coat? And what happened to the rest of the cast? The truth will shock you. Movie: Les Miserables (1988) Directors: Al Guest, Jean Mathieson Rating: life changing intro and outro music: “Everyone in Town Wants You Dead” by Singing Sadie for outtakes, wild theories and shipping charts, check out murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com

This week we take on Disney’s first ever full-CG feature with 2005′s Chicken Little. Why does this movie look so bad? How did they lure in so many big name voices? Was Oakey Oaks a cloning experiment gone wrong?  Plus: Rosa explains baseball, and we all try to put Don Knottsgate behind us. Movie: Chicken Little (2005) Director: Mark Dindal Rating: functional, but not enjoyable intro and outro music: “Everyone in Town Wants You Dead” by Singing Sadie for bonus stills and all our other nonsense, check out murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com

Join us as we puzzle our way through the utterly soporific Agent F.O.X from 2014. Why don’t rabbits know what foxes are? What exactly was Buggy doing? Will we ever see anyone sit an exam? And what-…wh-…wh- whaa…whaat? Wha-huh? B-….wha? Wheat? Movie: Agent F.O.X (2014)Director: Ge ShuiyingRating: soporific intro and outro music: “Everyone in Town Wants You Dead” by Singing Sadie for bonus stills, supplementary material and more, visit murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com