Dr Karin Love & Life

Last week we talked about the importance of maintaining boundaries with our family during holiday gatherings. But what if boundaries aren’t enough? What if we simply can’t get along with our family? We no longer agree on anything and we can’t find common ground. Should we completely cut them off? Or, is there a better way? Today, Elliott and I discuss the Family Systems construct of Individuation and explain why it’s an incredibly important process to move through in young adulthood—whether you’re single or married. We provide concrete steps for healthy individuating and explain how your levels of closeness and separateness to your family of origin directly impact every other relationship in your life—even in adulthood! We leave you with 3 takeaways to help you interact with your family authentically, maturely, and in an individuated manner throughout the holidays. Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott

Holiday family gatherings should bring us closer, but sometimes they do the exact opposite! All too often, we get together only to grow apart. Help is here! Implementing principles from Family Systems Therapy allows us to cultivate true intimacy while reducing family drama. In today’s episode, Elliott and I delve into boundaries. We share concrete strategies for establishing boundaries with family members—even those who pry into your business with questions like: “Are you seeing anyone special?” “When are two going to make me a grandma?” “You’re not voting for _____________ next year, are you???” We provide examples of how to: respond to invasive interrogation you don’t care to address.  remain committed to your values and principles without alienating family members whose beliefs differ from yours. mindfully move through difficult conversations.  Join us for a timely conversation designed to prepare you for upcoming family gatherings. Spoiler alert: you CAN maintain boundaries while growing cl

The holidays are upon us and in efforts to make the season as bright as possible, Elliott and I want to share principles from one of our favorite therapeutic orientations—Family Systems Theory and Therapy. And yes, siblings can get under our skin in ways no one else can. And sure, in-law interactions may be strained. And of course, blended families present us with unique challenges, but still—we CAN remain joyful at parties and gatherings and we CAN minimize the drama by keeping 3 key principles in mind. Join us for this first episode in our series on how to dial down family drama this holiday season! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

In fact, we’re taught to avoid talking about finances because it’s considered a bit gauche—especially when you don’t know someone very well. Furthermore, what if you’re not all that proud of your relationship with money? Maybe your bank account refuses to grow and “retail therapy” is your go-to coping mechanism! Or, it seems you just can’t get ahead no matter how much you save! Emily Burnett can relate. She’s a self-proclaimed “money mess” and “budget loather” who was thousands of dollars in debt. But then, she dramatically changed her relationship with money and found freedom in fiscal responsibility!  She shares her journey in her new book, Dear Fellow Spender:  Enjoy Using Your Money to Get Out of Debt, Build Savings, and Create a Life You Love.  And no, we don’t need to have our finances completely sorted out in order to have healthy partnerships, but we do need to have an understanding of our relationship with money—because, research shows it’s a factor that greatly influences marriages. Elliott and

I asked Elliott the other day, “We’ve been talking about cheating and recovery, but what can we do to try to prevent affairs from happening in the first place?” And yes, healing is possible and, as Elliott continues to stress, we may even find deeper intimacy after infidelity. But of course, wouldn’t we prefer to grow closer to our spouse without going through a marital breakdown? In this conversation, we present 3 strategies for keeping your marriage solid and connected! We can’t control our partner, but we CAN take steps ourselves to strengthen our bond and increase the likelihood of remaining faithful to each other. Elliott and I share examples of what we do personally to keep the fire burning (REO reference for our fellow GenXers

After posting episodes 265 and 266, Karin and I continue to see a need to continue the discussion about cheating. So today we continue our cheating series by responding additional concerns and discuss how to start the healing process. Specifically, we address: What's the first step in the healing process? How to navigate forgiveness and grief What to do if children are involved What rebuilding trust looks like after betrayal Join us for this third segment in our series on cheating. And please, let us know if you have any questions! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

After posting episode 265, Elliott and I received additional questions about infidelity, so we wanted to continue our cheating series by responding to these concerns. Specifically, we address: What exactly is cheating? Is flirting too much a violation? What about porn? Connecting with an old flame on Facebook? Close friendships with coworkers? What are the first steps to take if one of us has broken our vows? Can we ever rebuild trust? What if the betrayer won’t acknowledge the indiscretion? How can we ever forgive? When is separation necessary? What can we do when we’re single to prepare ourselves for a strong marriage—one in which neither partner is likely to stray? Spoiler alert: there’s actually a LOT we can do when we’re single to set ourselves up for an affair-proof future marriage! Join us for this second segment in our series on cheating. And please, let us know if you have any questions! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered

Just Wear the Mask.  It’s Not a Big Deal! Or, is It? A Developmental Psychologist’s Concerns Regarding Masks on Children—and All of Us! We’re bringing you another segment of our “Love & Life:  Let’s Talk About It” series.  These are topics that can be hard to broach and in some cases, conversations around these issues have been censored—either by social media platforms, or by social agreement—because,”Let’s not talk about it. We’ll just get into a fight.”  But avoiding subjects to preserve harmony doesn’t foster true intimacy—and because Elliott and I are all about deep, meaningful, intimate relationships, we’re going to speak honestly about those issues which are most important to us.  Today’s “Love and Life:  Let’s Talk About It!” topic? Masks. Over the past several years of the pandemic, masks have become an insanely contentious topic. The debate has waged for 3, almost 4 years now, so I’m sure you have your opinion and I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind.  I just want to bring up some relevan

No one walks down the aisle on their wedding day expecting to cheat on their spouse. But sadly, it happens all too often.  What happens? Why do couples stray? Elliott and I discuss 4 types of affairs (Pittman) and 3 reasons why they happen (Balswick & Balswick).  Join us for part 1 in our series on infidelity. Learn how to protect your marriage from an affair and/or recover from the pain if infidelity has already occurred.  Citation: https://hackspirit.com/infidelity-statistics/ Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

We’ve all heard it a million times—you are what you eat. And, of course it’s true—every cell in our body relies on and is sustained by the nutrients we ingest. So on a physical level, this reality is obvious.  But, the more research I do, the more I realize how much this adage—you are what you eat—pertains to our mental health as well.  In some ways, I think about all the work I’ve done as a psychologist—as many of you know, I’ve found so much power in cognitive techniques. When we take charge of our thoughts, we take charge of our lives—and, I absolutely stand by cognitive strategies. More importantly though, research substantiates the effectiveness of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), as we’ve discussed in many episodes of Love & Life.  That being said, how much easier is it for us to take charge of our thoughts if we’re fueling our bodies in a way that supports our thinking and emotions? That’s why Elliott and I focus on MIND and BODY and SPIRIT. Today’s episode is part 2 of my conversation with Dr.

About a year ago, I started hearing a term that was new to me—seed oils. Apparently, they’re everywhere—in virtually all processed foods. And, recent research links them to horrible health outcomes. So, I did a lot of reading and found that much of what I’d understood about dietary fats was completely off base. For years, I’d been making food choices I thought were healthy but in fact, they were the exact opposite of nutritious! One book that deeply impacted me—and Dan, too, because I immediately started cooking with different ingredients—was The FatBurn Fix by Dr. Cate Shanahan. I reached out to her to see if she’d be willing to appear on the program. Today, Dr. Shanahan joins us to unpack the deleterious effects of industrial seed oils—along with the remarkable benefits of eliminating them from our diets! Stay tuned for Part 2, which releases next week! Dr. Cate Shanahan Website: http://drcate.com/ Books: https://drcate.com/books/  Instagram: @drcateshanahan Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Webs

We’re in the midst of a mental health war. Over the last 50 years, we’ve raised awareness and developed abundant treatment options, yet Americans’ rates of depression and anxiety continue to skyrocket (Whitaker, 2015). Today, Elliott and I discuss my reflections on his recent messages about the epidemics of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and addiction. We conceptualize the current mental health landscape as a war for two reasons:  (1) because so many Americans battle psychological concerns and (2) professionals are in the midst of deeply contentious disputes regarding how to best treat clients’ emotional distress. Pharmaceutical corporations and many psychiatrists view this issue through a medical model i.e. patients are diagnosed with psychiatric illnesses and are prescribed pills to manage symptoms. But despite an exponential increase in the use of psychotropic medications, the number of Americans filing disability claims due to mental conditions has tripled over the last two decades (Whitaker, 2015).

Elliott’s mental health series continues with a message about addiction. Sadly, addictions have touched us all—whether we’ve struggled ourselves or we’ve endured the pain of watching a loved one wrestle with the grip of addiction. Elliott shares an understanding of addiction through a Biblical lens. He tackles questions surrounding the grip of addiction and the hope and healing we can find in Christ. Download Elliott’s PowerPoint here: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/6pku0usfyr8cz8enz2dyi/Altering-Addictions.pptx?rlkey=t1p3y55dyo1gjhdvzzs4q82l1&dl=0 Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

Depression. No one can escape it. Yes, some of us struggle more than others, but sadness, despondency, and despair are part of life. Of course, we’d prefer to skip over the valleys. We’d rather stay on the mountaintops but that’s not how life works. Can we accept depression as a normal part of the human condition? Does despondency serve a purpose—other than making us miserable?  What does Scripture tell us about depression? One of the reasons Elliott and I take issue with the “disease model” of mental health and the tendency to medicalize our emotions is that it assumes that depression and anxiety are bad. And of course, they’re uncomfortable and undesirable. But don’t our emotions provide us with important information? Might we benefit from paying attention to what our feelings are trying to tell us, as opposed to masking them and covering them up with a drug? Elliott discusses all this and much more in this week’s message, “Diminishing Depression.” Download Elliott’s PowerPoint here: https://www.

Abating - something becomes smaller and less intense. Did you know we are dealing with an epidemic of loneliness in our culture today? More than ever people are asserting feelings of loneliness in their lives.  Today we continue Pastor Elliott’s series on mental health on the topic of loneliness. He covers the following topics: - What is loneliness? - How we emotionally and physically respond to it - 3 ways we are most vulnerable to loneliness - 3 ways to abate loneliness Thank you for listening! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

Do you struggle with anxiety? Have you felt disempowered on how to address it in your life? In today’s episode Elliott shares a presentation he gave on the topic of anxiety and how we can proactively attack it with action!  Elliott discusses the following: The Top 8 Causes of Anxiety Mental and Physical Manifestations  The Root of Anxiety And Steps to Overcome Anxiety Through: Situational Awareness, Positive Self-Talk, Physiological Regulation, and Sleep Download Pastor Elliott’s Power Point Presentation: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/jzozv331w2s96z9n51tqy/Attacking-Anxiety-with-Action-7.23.23.pptx?rlkey=fum0rh3sojqita7rg59o2azv9&dl=0  Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

How can we remain empowered when we’ve been on the dating scene for SO long? As you know, I spent 27 years dating—from age 15 until I married at 42. It can be exhausting, demoralizing, and heartbreaking. How then, do we remain happy, hopeful, and positive on our journey to love? Today’s guest, Roshini Rajkumar, also dated for many years before meeting her now husband. Fun fact: they fell in love at first sight! Here's some more about Roshini. Roshini Rajkumar is a crisis strategist, C-suite advisor, and media insider. Core clients include Fortune 500 brands and their leaders. In her public life, Roshini is a media commentator and host of The Crisis Files podcast, which is also in pitch phase as a television pilot. She draws upon 25 years on air—first as a TV reporter. Then after starting her business in 2006, as host of REAL Talk with Roshini, which aired Sundays on WCCO Radio from 2012 through 2021.  Roshini shares the 7 important steps she discovered as she navigated relationships in her twenties a

According to a recent KFF poll, 77% of women would like birth control pills to be available without a prescription—assuming they’re safe and effective. But are they? Effective? Okay. But, safe? Not so much. Among the many side effects of using hormonal birth control is an increased risk of breast cancer. According to a study by Dr. Marilyn Althuis of the University of Maryland, “Women under 35 years old who are using contraceptive drugs have a 91% higher risk for developing breast cancer than women who use hormone-free contraception.” And sadly, the risk of breast cancer is just the tip of the iceberg! Dr. Leah Gordon specializes in helping women “break up with birth control” and balance their hormones naturally which allows them to optimize their fertility to prepare for pregnancy, if that’s their goal. Join us to hear why a switch from hormonal birth control—including, The Pill, progestin-laced IUDs, vaginal rings, implants, and injections—will help you take charge of your emotional health and level

Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson is back to continue our series on Attachment Styles. This week we unpack Avoidant Attachment and consider the question, “Is it actually possible to have a relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style?” Specifically, we address: Why avoidant men may initially appear very excited about the relationship and interested in commitment, but then later, they pull away. The internal struggle of Avoidant Attachment. The Pursuer-Distancer cycle—if you’ve dated someone with an Avoidant Attachment style, you’ve likely experienced this, especially if you have an Anxious Attachment style. When he marries you, but is still avoidant! Why it’s imperative to maintain your self-respect—and how to do so! Ways to bring up concerns about emotional intimacy with an avoidant partner. How to figure out if his Avoidant Attachment is something you can work with or if he’s completely emotionally unavailable. How to determine if you’re experiencing Avoidant Attachment yourself

Join us today as we revisit Love & Life's most popular episode to date: Anxious Attachment on Dating and Relationships with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 165 I hear this question from women in my community all the time—“I have an anxious attachment style. Will I ever be able to be in a secure relationship?” To address this concern, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I take a deep dive into anxious attachment and how it impacts dating and relationships. Specifically, we discuss: Anxious attachment and our desire for intimacy. Trauma bonds and anxious attachment. When feeling anxiety in a relationship is a GOOD thing! How the hookup culture has impacted attachment. Masculine and feminine energy as they relate to attachment. Elliott shares insights from his 30 years of working with clients and couples. Join us to gain a greater understanding of anxious attachment and how it may influence your dating patterns and relationship dynamics. Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://lovea