Dr Karin Love & Life

“More than one in four women take medication to treat a mental health condition” (Medco Health Solutions). Are 25% of us actually clinically depressed and anxious? Or, might diagnostic inflation be at work? Psychologist Dr. Steven C. Hayes speaks to this and more in his new book, Beyond the DSM: Toward a Process-Based Alternative for Diagnosis and Mental Health Treatment. Join us for a conversation about: ·        The excessive biomedicalization of the human condition. ·        How a DSM diagnosis may make us more passive and less responsible for our own emotional well-being. ·        The notion of “having” a psychiatric illness vs. assessing the things we “do” and the feelings that show up for us. ·        Debunking the “science” of mental illness. ·        Why genes are NOT deterministic of our emotional and psychological functioning (

I get asked about hope a lot: ·   How can I stay hopeful when the dating scene is so bleak? ·   How can I maintain a hopeful attitude after being ghosted yet again? ·   How can I hold onto hope? All the good ones are taken! Maintaining a happy, hopeful, positive attitude when you’ve been dating for a long time—way longer than you expected or wanted to—isn’t easy at all. I’ve been there, felt that. Over my 27 years of dating (from 15 until age 42 when I got married), there were definitely times when I thought it would be so much easier to just give up and resign myself to being single forever. But I never gave up hope.  And, I don’t want you to, either! Research in psychology confirms hope makes a huge difference in our emotional—and even physical!—well-being. Furthermore, hope is within our control! By practicing research-based strategies, we can cultivate and sustain a hopeful attitude despite the disappointments we are bound to experience. Join me to learn the science of h

Ella has a history of dating bad boys, but she’s trying to turn this around!  She listened to episode 63 with Ken Page, LCSW, bought his book, Deeper Dating, and is working on cultivating what Ken calls Attractions of Inspiration, as opposed to Attractions of Deprivation. But when she dates nice guys, she’s just not into them. She tries to give them a chance, but finds she’s bored and uninterested. In this mini Love & Life episode, I discuss how we can determine if we’re bored because we’re addicted to dysfunctional dynamics, or if we just haven’t met the right person yet! Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Mandy struggles with something so many of us can relate to—the guys she doesn’t care for are into her, while the guys she wants don’t seem to be interested.  In this mini Love & Life episode, I share the science of flirting from Dr. Duana Welch’s book, Love Factually for Single Parents and Those Dating Them. Learn 6 research-based ways to signal your interest in a guy, while remaining, what Dr. Welch calls, “high status.” --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

In this third mini Love & Life episode, I answer Pam’s question about how to know if a guy is manipulating her. She recently went on a first date with a man who led with smarmy and inappropriately suggestive conversation. When she bristled, he asked her if she wasn’t comfortable with her body. He then went on to say that he’d absolutely need to test drive the car before buying. Join us as I discuss my thoughts on how she responded and on such talk in general. Spoiler alert: if you think you’re being manipulated, you probably are. Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

In this second mini Love & Life episode, I answer Theresa’s question about when she should meet her bf’s kids.  He’s protective of his children and doesn’t want to introduce them to her too soon (which is great) yet because of this, she doesn’t want him to get into the habit of just crashing at her place—because she wants to be properly courted (which is wise).  Join us as I share my thoughts on this dicey topic, made even more sensitive because children are involved. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

In this mini Love & Life episode, I answer Kelly’s question about how she can find a way to support her friends even though they’re making unhealthy decisions in their relationships.  I share 3 options for how to love our friends even when we hate some of their choices. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Human trafficking is an unfathomable and horrific atrocity.  We feel so helpless; we don’t know what to do or how to combat it.  Thankfully, there are organizations working on the front lines.  And, all of us can make an impact by supporting their efforts to save lives.  Talitha Baker, chair of the board of Dressember joins me to share how Dressember raises awareness and funds to fight human trafficking.  I’ll be pulling together a team and wearing dresses throughout December.  I hope people will ask me why, so I can encourage them to support Dressember and its mission to rescue those enslaved by trafficking.   To donate to my team please click here: https://dressember2020.funraise.org/fundraiser/karin-anderson-abrell?fundraiserPrompt=1675387 Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Recently, I asked my newsletter community if anyone wanted to share an encouraging and empowering story on the podcast. Quin Taylor (one of my former students from Chicago State University) answered the call, agreeing to speak about living with a chronic illness. She describes how intentionally focusing on gratitude allows her to maintain a positive, empowered perspective in the midst of daily physical challenges. Quin shares: · How to move from grieving the life you were “supposed” to live to celebrating the life you’re “purposed” to live! · How to avoid wallowing in bitterness because, as Quin puts it, we can stay stuck in bitterness but “nothing really changes.” · Her powerful mantra—“I declare and decree today will be amazing.  Amazing things are happening to and for me and I will do amazing things!” ·  The freedom of falling in love with your authentic self—even when that entails a chronic illness. Quin describes herself as a “gratitude enthusiast!” Join us to up your gratitude game this Thanks

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults (18.1% of the population). The ADAA asserts, “anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.”  Psychotherapist Linda Ruvalcaba understands anxiety—both from a clinical perspective and from personal experience!  She endured anxiety’s terrifying grip after a horribly painful breakup. Anxiety permeated her life—the physical symptoms and intrusive thoughts not only made it difficult for her to focus on personal concerns, they also impaired her ability to work with her therapy clients.  She realized avoiding anxiety only reinforced its hold on her.  She could no longer run away; she needed to lean into it.  Join us to hear how Linda found healing by facing anxiety head on—and as a bonus, she found herself! Linda Ruvalcaba Website: https://www.latinxtherapistsactionnetwork.org/linda-ruvalcaba  Dr. Karin Website: https://loveandlifemedi

We’ve all been there—we got knocked down and we’re trying our best to recover but we feel stuck. We find it hard to feel happy. We sink into depressed moods. We’ve lost our joy and even worse, we wonder, can I ever get back to my former self?  Well, according to neuropsychologist, Dr. Rhonda Freeman, we absolutely can!  Join us to learn how to: ·    pivot away from ruminating thoughts—which psych research shows are related to depression. ·    activate the regions of your brain that will bring you healing and peace post trauma! ·    journal in a manner that activates your prefrontal cortex—and why this is imperative. ·    get your brain to think rationally again by quieting the limbic system and activating the frontal lobe. ·    rewire your brain to get it back to its “pre-trauma” balance. We say it every week on Love & Life, “Take charge of your thoughts. Take charge of your life!”  And now, thanks to Dr. Freeman, we

According to Family Systems theorists, our family of origin’s expectations for connectedness and separateness influence—and, at times, may impede—our ability to carve out and cultivate an independent identity and authentic sense of self. Clearly, our family of origin impacts us beyond childhood—in terms of our friendships, work relationships, and certainly, our romantic connections. Mary Beth Somich, LPC joins me to discuss the construct of enmeshment, how we can differentiate from an overly close family system, and why we absolutely need to in order to thrive in love and life! Mary Beth Somich Website: yourjourneythrough.com  Free Quiz: Is Your Family Enmeshed? https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5f16de5959b56b0026662110 Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

According to psychologist Albert Ellis, “People don’t just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.”  And, specifically, it’s irrational thinking that contributes to our “upsetness.” As the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), Ellis encourages us to identify our irrational beliefs, challenge them, and replace them with rational beliefs.  He asserts—and research substantiates—that by doing so, we can greatly reduce negative emotions.  Join me to learn another approach from cognitive therapy for taking charge of your thoughts!  I share my personal experience with the power of REBT—including a specific time when a hidden irrational belief was making me miserable and how I uncovered it, disputed it, and found my joy again! Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

If you’re single, your love life (or lack thereof) is fair game. Friends, family members, and even random strangers provide “solutions” to your “problem.” Or, they interrogate you, determined to uncover the hidden reason you aren’t coupled up—even if you’re perfectly content sans partner!  In this Love & Life bonus episode, Debbi Rice of Single and Amazing, Leslie Kaz of Single Girl Bliss, and I discuss the top 5 asinine comments single women hear. Join us for some single girl commiserating and lots of laughs! We’re here for you! Leslie Kaz Website: lesliekaz.com Debbi Rice Website: singleandamazing.com Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week!  To kick it off, I’ve invited Shani Silver, host of A Single Serving podcast, to share how she moved from complaining about dating to championing the single life!  According to Shani, “I came out of a hole and I know the way out of the hole. I want to tell other people that it’s possible.”  Here are a few more gems of wisdom from my conversation with Shani: ·        “Enjoying a single life—not as a consolation, but as ‘on par’ with life in partnership—is entirely possible. I know this because I’m living it.” ·        “It is 100% possible to love your single life and want a relationship at the same  time. Both of those things can coexist.” ·        “I decided that what was meant for me was going to connect with me. And it was not going to be because I was fighting to find it. Because I had fought to find it for a decade and I didn’t. So that method didn’t serve me.  Maybe just

When life doesn’t play out as planned, we experience loss—of expectations, hopes, and dreams.  And, as with every loss, we grieve.  But how do we grieve something we never had in the first place? Christina and Genet of The Radical Stepmoms podcast join me to discuss just that—grieving the life they thought they’d have, while still embracing and cherishing the life they do have.  At some point (or many points!) in life, we all find ourselves stepping into roles and realities we didn’t anticipate.  Join us to learn strategies for navigating these uncharted waters. Radical Stepmoms Website: radicalstepmomspodcast.com Dr. Karin Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

I often get asked, “What we should be looking for when dating?  Which qualities indicate a person will be a committed, solid, loving partner?”  Recently, I came across a framework by psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Marmer describing emotional maturity.  As I examined the model, I was struck by how the characteristics of maturity mirror those qualities we need in a romantic partner—if we’re hoping for a lasting, loving, secure connection.  Dan joins me to discuss these 5 traits and how we’ve experienced them—and in past relationships, not experienced them!  We wrap up the episode answering a listener’s question about how to differentiate between her intuition and inner critic. Citation: https://www.prageru.com/video/its-time-to-grow-up/ Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A!  In this episode, I answer two questions I recently received.  One listener asks how she can possibly maintain hope for finding love; she’s over 40 and feeling demoralized and worries she’ll never meet her person.  Another listener wonders if she can salvage a relationship that’s gone off course.  After seeing a guy for a couple months, she asked the proverbial, “What are we?” question.  They argued and now he’s stonewalling her.  She asks me, “What can I do to get him back?  I really like him!”  I wrap up the episode by sharing details on how to join the Love & Life book club and Love & Life support groups I’m rolling out this fall! Website: loveandlifemedia.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

We are kicking season 5 off with Dr. Duana Welch to discuss attachment styles and dating!  Have you ever experienced the following? ·        You felt an initial spark, but got turned off when he/she came on too strong. ·        Someone ghosted you after what you thought was the beginning of a very happy relationship. ·        You found yourself bored by someone who is stable and kind. If so, your attachment style may have played a part! According to developmental psychologists, the bond you form with your primary caregiver in childhood sets the tone for the way you connect to others in adulthood.  Dr. Duana Welch, author of Love Factually: Attachment Style Dating Made Easier, explains the difference between Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant attachment and the pros and cons of each—spoiler alert, there are positives to anxious attachment!—along with how an understanding of our attachment style can hel

We’ve all heard that journaling can be therapeutic.  But how does writing down our thoughts and feelings heal our emotional wounds?  In this episode, we explore all this and more with Stacy Brookman of “Life Story Laboratory.” Stacy shares how writing helps us process our experiences, recover from trauma, and take back our power!  Stacy explains how we can discover our life’s “theme” and reframe it if it’s not working for us.  She encourages us to identify any lies we’re telling ourselves and replace them with the truth—that we’re strong, capable, and tenacious!  According to psych research, writing fosters resilience and cultivates confidence.  Join us to learn how to implement this powerful practice in your life! Website: loveandlifemedia.com Citations: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/figure/10.1080/10503300701691664?scroll=top&needAccess=true https://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/Putting-Feelings-Into-Words-Produces-8047 https://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2017/for-worriers-ex