The Terri Cole Show

Are you only as good as your last huge accomplishment? I want you to pause for a moment and think about how you measure your worth. Do you find yourself in that relentless cycle of head-down, go-go-go energy, telling yourself you'll celebrate when you get the big thing done? When you land the promotion, finish the project, and reach the milestone that feels worthy enough of your attention? If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. And you're also missing out on something profound. On today’s episode, I’m giving you some tips to combat that tendency that makes you work more and celebrate less! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/743

On today’s episode, I’m so excited to share a chat with Orion Talmay! She shares her personal story: how an abusive relationship shaped her life trajectory and propelled her to her current calling. Plus, she gives some tips for mirror work, inner child work, and manifesting that you can use yourself. We finished the show with some thoughts on the path to self-acceptance and self-love that I really think everybody needs to hear. I hope you enjoy today’s episode with Orion as much as I enjoyed interviewing her! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/742

On today’s episode, I’m sharing an insightful conversation with Vanessa Bennett, a licensed depth psychologist and co-author of It's Not Me, It's You. Together, we delve into the complexities of codependency and relationship dynamics, exploring how societal norms shape our understanding of love and attachment. Vanessa shares her journey from advertising to therapy and how she learned to value authenticity over attachment in relationships. Plus, how triggers can be opportunities for growth and why breaking up doesn't have to be a total mess. Whether you're navigating a breakup or seeking healthier relationship patterns, I hope you find Vanessa’s tips just as valuable as I have! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/741

"I'll start dating as soon as I lose those 10 pounds." "I can't go to that event until I find the perfect outfit." "I'll put myself out there when I feel more confident, more ready." Do any of these sound familiar? That little whisper in the back of your head that seems so reasonable, almost protective? I want you to sit with this for a moment: underneath that whisper is a belief that where you are right now, exactly as you are, is not good enough. That unless you present some flawless version of yourself to the world, you're not worthy of love, connection, or success. This is how perfectionism sneaks its way into our relationships, and it's far more insidious than you might think. On today’s episode I’m going to give you tips to identify where you’re being a perfectionist, recognize the impact it’s having on your relationships, and take your choices back from perfectionism. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/740

I felt so lucky to record this episode! On today’s show, I had my first chance to host world-renowned fitness and nutrition expert JJ Virgin. She’s been at the top of the wellness space longer than practically anyone else, and today she’s using her expertise to teach us how to age powerfully. I always say that we don’t get to choose whether we age, but we do get to choose how we age. If you choose to age without losing your strength and ability, then this episode is for you! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/739

Have you been going through life confused about why the people you trust always seem to let you down? Or do you avoid trusting anyone because you aren’t sure who deserves it? You might have learned disordered trust patterns from your family of origin. On today’s episode, I’m sharing some strategies for identifying patterns that don’t serve you and getting clarity on who deserves a space in the front row of your life. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/738

I'm so excited to have Tim Chantarangsu on the show to talk about life as a comedian, being one of the OG content creators (he started *before* YouTube was a thing), family, food, and being a father.  I met Tim on the set of Counsel Culture with Nick Cannon and was immediately drawn to how insightful and humorous he was. I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/737

Do you catch yourself saying… I don’t want them to think… I don’t want them to feel… I don’t want to seem difficult… I don’t want to hurt their feelings… If so, this episode is for you because it’s about becoming a boundary boss without guilt. When we say, “I don’t want them to think,” or “I just wanted to be nice,” we’re self-abandoning and not setting boundaries we need to set. It’s time to change that! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/736

I'm thrilled to welcome my close pal, Jennifer Pastiloff, back to the show to celebrate the release of her new book, Proof of Life: Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life. It's a call to arms to stop self-abandoning and no longer wait for permission, which I think is perfect for this community. ❤️ Jen has such a unique voice and wonderful sense of humor, and in this girlfriend jam, we talk about shame loss, Jen's inspiration for the subtitle, and how she is really living what she's writing about. It's so inspiring and empowering.  Watch to the end because she also shares a beautiful poem for those who feel like they're constantly behind. I think you'll love it!  P.S. Jen's TEDx Talk, Nothing You Do Is Wrong: https://youtu.be/_-RlIS9JbhM?si=fU2V8AuP6CvlqzSw Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/735

Do you find yourself saying "I don't want to hurt their feelings" while completely abandoning your own needs? You think you're being nice, but you're actually training people to ignore what matters to you—because you're ignoring it first. In this episode, I break down the hidden cost of people-pleasing and why "being nice" is often just self-abandonment dressed up as politeness. I go over the 5 core types of boundaries (physical, emotional, mental, material, and energetic) and shares exactly what healthy boundary-setting looks like in real life. You'll learn: Why boundaries aren't walls—they're doors that YOU control How you teach people to treat you by what you allow, stop, and reinforce The difference between being liked and being safe What to do when people get mad about your boundaries Why the more authentic you is waiting on the other side of the limits you set Plus, get Terri's Boundary Script Kit with scripts for all 5 types of boundaries at terricole.com/guide. If you've spent years people-pleasing

I am so excited to have dating coach and podcast host Sabrina Zohar on the show to talk about dating, relational issues, and what a secure, emotionally safe relationship looks like.  Sabrina shares the work that she did to get out of unhealthy relational patterns, how she navigates her relationship with her narcissistic father, what her and her partner do to make each other feel safe and secure, how she sets boundaries with difficult people, and so much more.

Do you say yes when you want to say no? Do you do more emotional labor in nearly all of your relationships? Are you the one everyone counts on, while no one is there for you? (Maybe you don’t even allow people to be there for you?) If any of this sounds familiar, this episode is for you.  I had many requests to do another episode on people-pleasing, so let’s cover how people-pleasing and self-abandonment are survival mechanisms, the cost of these behaviors to us and our relationships, and how we can slowly shift into healthier ways of relating. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/732

I'm so excited to have a new pal, Alana Carvalho, a licensed mental health counselor, on the show to talk about two topics we're both passionate about: codependency and perfectionism! We talk about why these two things go together, our experiences of being in recovery from both, what inspired Alana to create The Codependent Perfectionist brand, how to ease up on perfectionism and codependent behaviors, and so much more.  I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/731

Do you notice micro changes in people’s facial expressions and ask yourself, “What did I do wrong?” Are you able to sit with someone in pain without trying to fix them? Are you so emotionally attuned to everything and everyone that you feel exhausted? If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not broken; you just lack the skills (boundaries!) needed to embrace your superpower (being an empath). You can care, love, and feel deeply without losing yourself in someone’s pain, which is what I’m talking about in this episode. I hope it helps you hit pause on taking on people’s emotions and gives you the tools you need to manage your energy. Read the show notes from today's episode at terricole.com/730

I am thrilled to have Shannon Watts, author and founder of Moms Demand Action, on the show to talk about her new book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark Into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age. I was definitely fired up and inspired by what Shannon had to share, and I think you will be, too. If you've been going through life on autopilot (as many high-functioning codependents do), feel like something is missing, or like you've been playing it small and it's time to stop and do something different, this conversation is for you. Shannon shares practical tips and strategies for reimagining your life and while we talk about perimenopause and menopause, these tips can apply to anyone in any season of life! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/729

Every close relationship hits turbulence at some point. Conflict is inevitable.  That’s why the real magic of secure, emotionally mature relationships isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about having the tools to come back together and repair. Repair requires us to be proactive because the work needs to begin long before it is actually needed. You can’t build a bridge in the middle of a storm (aka, a conflict). Having the ability to repair after disconnection or disagreements is everything. In this episode, I’m teaching you how to create a repair kit so you can prepare to handle conflict much more productively. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/726

Sometimes, it helps to laugh at life’s problems– Even the real ones. If you could use some help in finding humor in today’s current events, Angie is your gal! Today I’m sharing a relaxed chat with Angie “Pumps” Sullivan, co-author of Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches and co-host of the podcast I’ve Had It. Somehow, the conversation feels light even as we delve into the reality of mourning dreams and expectations, being a role model for your children, and speaking up to yourself without being a “Karen.” I hope you enjoy today’s episode with Angie as much as I enjoyed chatting with her! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/727

I am so excited to have Dr. Sara Reardon, aka The Vag Whisperer, on the show today to give us the basics when it comes to pelvic floor health. Why? Because the condition of our pelvic floor impacts so many different systems of our body and it changes throughout our life, especially in perimenopause and menopause. During our conversation, Sara breaks everything down in an accessible way and shares easy tips you can use to begin working on your pelvic floor. If you want more info, be sure to grab her book, Floored: A Woman's Guide to Pelvic Floor Health at Every Age and Stage! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/725

Did you know that 1 in 4 children in the US grows up without a father? Or that 80% of single-parent homes are led by mothers? These statistics may not come as a surprise, but what we don’t talk about are the millions of other kids who may have dads who are physically present but emotionally absent. Dads who are abusive, addicted, sporadic, neglectful, or narcissistic.  As Father’s Day approaches, I wanted to explore how father wounds can impact our relationships, self-worth, and overall success. I’ll share my own experiences, debunk some father wound myths, and offer you ideas on how to heal and celebrate Father’s Day differently. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/725

Today I’m so excited to welcome Rha Goddess to The Terri Cole Show! She shares what she’s learned on her journey, from her origin story rooted in civil rights and hip hop to the personal awakening that led her to redefine ambition and success for herself. Plus, why now was the time to write her book Intentional Ambition and her own personal boundary struggles. Listen for everything you need to do life with more joy, freedom, fulfillment, and courage. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/724