Unspoiled! A Song Of Ice And Fire

It's dark, the door is locked, and all hope is gone. And that's just while we were recording. Eddard is locked in prison, with his confinement only broken up by visions and Varys. What's that sneaky spider up to? I guess you'll just have to listen to UNSPOILED!

The Lannisters are here and they're taking over! I'm sure it'll be a perfectly peaceful transition of power. Definately no beheadings, definately no weird burned maniacs promoted to the kingsguard, and definately no weird Lannister dream team as the most powerful ruling body in the land. OK, only two out of three. Enjoy it! Unspoiled time!

Mountain tribes! Tywinn Lannister! Corpse eating ravens! So much machismo in one chapter! Can Tyrion even make it through? Will anyones genitals be fed to goats? All bets are off, in this battle planning episode of UNSPOILED!

It's a Game of Thrones! Wait, we knew that, but this time, it's specifically Risk. There's a battle a brewin', and it's time to figure out where to put the pieces. We bring our best John Madden skills to bear, and try to break down the plays. It's also worth noting we broke in our new espresso machine before recording this, and I think it shows. Sip your latte to this episode of UNSPOILED!

Let's go shopping with Daenerys! She goes to the market, and get's a free sample of the best poisoned wine money can buy! We try to figure out what a manticore is, argue about the edibility of horse hearts, and discuss late nineties search engines. It gets a little saucy in here! Welcome, to UNSPOILED!

Bran's still in Winterfell, though he may be the only person who still is by the time this book is over. Robb is marching north with his army of bannermen, Rikkon has gone feral, and Hodor is just wandering around nude like it's no ones business. Can we hold it together? Not so much! Thanks for listening to UNSPOILED!

It's in your heeeeaaaaad, in your heeaaaaaad JoooOOOON SnoooOOOOoooW. Hey guys, your podcast hosts are back from the bar, and Zombies are coming down from the north. WE ARE EXCITED. We decide our own zombie plan, predict---something? Finally some heartless corpses that aren't Lannisters!

For a book that's all about family ties, you can't get much more different than Sansa and Arya. Sansa doesn't kill any stableboys, doesn't jump out any windows, and doesn't even seem to realize what's happening. She writes some letters though? Good times on this episode of UNSPOILED!

Arya's on the run! Who can save her? Syrio? Sansa? The mysterious guy who lives in the stable? Nope, only Arya can save Arya, and she does a pretty good job of it too. We join the youngest Stark for some serious action on this episode of UNSPOILED!

Ned brings a piece of paper to a sword fight, in what may be the most lopsided battle so far. Stakes are raised perilously high, and we realize what it really means to play the Game of Thrones

Back up to the wall! Graduation days finally here, and Jon's ready to take his vows! Fortunately, Ghost breaks up all this happiness with his discovery of a severed hand. We make some pretty outrageous predicionts, pitch a new restaurant idea, and in get really silly overall. We also lay out our plans for the end of Game of Thrones, the new TV premier, and ask you to ask us some stuff. Let's all go from the window to walls, on this episode of UNSPOILED!

It's Eddard again! The king isn't dead, but it's pretty darn close. Is it the end of Robert Baratheon? More importantly, what does this mean for Ned Stark? He knows he's going to do the honorable thing, but what that is isn't exactly clear. There's intrigue aplenty, as Ned has to go to the slipperiest snake on the block, Littlefinger, for help. Predictions are all over the place, and we introduce a new theory of parallel universe predictions. We also take some unneeded digs at George RR Martin and the Dothraki language.

YAAAAY! HORSE HEART PARTY! HORSE HEART PARTY! Danaerys eats a horse heart (Average weight--8.5 pounds by the way) and her brother gets a shiny new crown in this festive chapter. It's high energy in the podcast studio/kitchen table, as we discuss horse hearts, human hearts, and heartfelt values, on this episode of UNSPOILED!

No more silliness! Everything gets serious as Eddard calls Cersei down to the Godswood to deliver a message-- take your kids, and get the hell out of town. The time for clues and hints is over, it's time to find out who's really playing this game of thrones for keeps! A lot of discussion of Eddards plan and Cersei's reaction takes place, and we ponder the question-- was this a mystery story? How central to the plot of the book is the search for who killed Jon Arryn?

It's Sansa time again in King's landing. There's squabbles, there's heartbreak, there's song, and there's stories. There are also some really bizarre metaphores from Brendan, and some strong Sansa opinions from Natasha. Predictions fly fast and furious in this episode of UNSPOILED!

Kings Landing! Court procedings! Moonlight raids! False flag operations! FEMA! Someone's out hunting humans, and the king's out to lunch-- who's there to step up to the plate? Ned Stark, and UNSPOILED!

Tyrion's out of the Eirie, but is his new situation any better? Of course it is! He let's us in a little on a very traumatic moment in his past, and we see an interesting development in his plan to get home safely. There's a lot of brutal honesty all around, and some very tricky moral considerations for our hosts. What do all these developments mean? Clear the fog, on this episode of UNSPOILED!

It's graduation day at the wall, and everyone's remembering the great times they had together. Everyone except Samwell Tarly. We talk wall times, new plans, and I break out a monumental number of predicitions. There's also a movie invite for anyone who loves haunted planes! Curious? That's why I'm being so obtuse! Crack open this pod-egg, and feast upon the flavor that is UNSPOILED.

Trial by combat! Good thing nothing can go wrong with this---or, maybe it's a travesty that ends with a good man dying? Either way, it's an excuse to talk about mideval armor in comedy, and what Tyrion's going to get up to now that he's free and clear.

Right back in like we left something! It's Chapter 39, where Eddard wakes up with a hell of a poppy milk hangover. We get deep into dream analysis, and then talk about where to draw the line between hitting your wife and having her assasinated. There's plenty of Robert Baratehon talk, and questions over if Circe Lannister is "frustrating to deal with" or maybe a little more than that. Let's all decide together, but only after we listen to UNSPOILED!