Unspoiled! A Song Of Ice And Fire

He's alive! Mostly! Except for the nose! Tyrion is getting pretty rough treatment this chapter, besides having been been stabbed in the face, he also get's a podcast that mostly ignores him to pose complicated hypothetical scenarios.

It's the greatest showdown in history. The Bastard of the Dreadfort shows up to show Theon, the Garbage of the Greyjoys, how being an awful human being is really done. Never has the tearing of down of the irritating Ironborn been so bittersweet, as when two awful elephants fight, it is the innocents of Winterfell who suffer.

Back to the throne room with Sansa! We learn who did well (and who just didn't get killed) at the battle of Blackwater. We also learn Joffery's reaction to a "war wound" that surely shamed all the half dead veterans in his throne room. We also learn Dontos' plan to ensare someone somehow using a "magic" hairnet. There's also a pretty good bit where we offer stock advice in the major houses and try to decipher Littlefingers cocky attitude.

Harranhal under Roose Bolton isn't much better than Harranhal under Tywin Lannister it turns out, and in some ways it's much, much worse. Arya decides to go for a change in scenerey, even if that means some dicidely dirty tricks.

Warlocks are back in business, Daenerys has worn out her welcome in Qarth, and in the marketplace she gets a few things she wasn't looking for. We talk monster names, seaside smells, and phantom turtles. We also annouce our plans for the second season of HBO's game of thrones show!

Ok folks, only one big episode this week, chronicalling Sansa, Davos, and Tyrion as the big battle goes down in kings landing. Who lives! who dies? Who wins?!? We take on the whole battle at once in one mega episode!

Running through the woods, wolves on his heels, it's finally time for Theon to...wake up? Crap! Just a dream! When is this kid going to finally get disembowelled? Looks like we have at least one more chapter to go. Still, not all bad news, as secrets are revealed, and Asha makes an ultimatum.

Caetlyn isn't having a great day. Her sons are reported dead, so she heads down to the dungeon to finally get some answers out of Jaime Lannister. The answers she gets though aren't what she's looking for. 

Guess who's coming to dinner! It's our friend Tyrion, and it's all bad news, all the time for most of this chapter. Are the youngest Stark kids dead? What's going to happen to "Tyrion's woman". Who's worse that Circe? Let's work out all the deets, on this UNSPOILED!

The Wolf dreams are spreading! Now Jon gets a chance to see through his wolf's eyes, but he's not the only one in the animal magic game. What's going to happen with the rangers as the wildlings get wise to them!??

Things are really all over the place in Kings Landing. Dantos is drunk, Sandor Clegane seems drunk, and Sansa has a talk about womanhood with Queen Circe. We talk about spontanious matress combustion, the identity of Danto's secret helper, and Carrie.

Jon climbs up a rock face to kill some wildings, but ends up with an inconvenient prisoner. We discuss the chapter, and reflect back on Theon vs Tyrion as two men running castles that aren't so fond of them

Back from Hiatus! This epsidoe was recorded in a hotel, so sound is not quite up to usual standards. Still, we get to see what happens with Theon when Bran and Rickon escape custody.

Ok, check on the walls, check on the shantytowns, see if those pyromancers are keeping schedule. We take a real trip through Tyrion's to do list in this chapter, but a few juicy tidbits are revealed along the way, and we draw ever closer to the exciting conclusion!

Oh boy, welcome, to a real haunted hayride of prophecy, illusion, and pure who knows what that is Daenery's trip into the home of the warlocks! Check it out, and see how many connections we can make!

This was a great chapter. Arya gets sneaky in a bunch of different ways, and makes stuff happen. Pretty great! Prisoners from the north show up with Vargo Hoat, and things don't go as expected. Plus, free soup!

Theon takes Winterfell, Bran has maybe his last wolf dream,  and Brendan is pissed about this chapter.

Who wants to be arrowfodder? What's this got to do with commercials? Who the hell is Jubb App-a-tuba? This chapter is mostly about Catelyn getting battle news and wondering how many of her children are going to die, but we go big picture on fear and femenism.

Wow, some true confessions come out in this chapter! Tyrion talks about Tysha to Shae for the first time, and then Varys comes out with a doozy of a tale that really captures our hosts imagination.

More adventures beyond the wall! Lots of hot stews, less than whole hands. It's all roughing it with the night's watch this chapter, let's get UNSPOILED!