Alcohollywood

Dragon Month (heretofore referred to as Here May Be Dragons, since it’s just a more awesome name) chugs along with returning guest Betsy Stone and 1996’s CGI-Sean-Connery vehicle Dragonheart! When an asshole king (David Thewlis) terrorizes the land, it’s up to a roguish dragonslayer (Dennis Quaid) and his snarky dragon pal (Connery) to save the day. Sub-PlayStation One CGI and semi-modernized Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves antics abound, which we break down for you along with our custom cocktail and drinking game! (Thanks to our sponsor Iron Galaxy as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week on Alcohollywood, we start our May-long ode to legend’s greatest beasts with DRAGON MONTH! (We promise, we’ll take a break from theme months after this one.) Starting off, returning guest Todd Kuhns joins us to talk 2002’s post-apocalyptic dragon flick Reign of Fire, starring Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey! In the grim future of 2020 – presumably in the fiery wake of President Trump’s first term – dragons rule the earth, and humans are left to huddle in castles and reenact Star Wars in front of children as myth. But when a group of roughneck US troops roll in (including a beardy, bald, bug-eyed McConaughey) to start slaying dragons, our heroes are in for the fight of their lives. Check out our thoughts, along with our custom cocktail and drinking game! (Thanks to our sponsor Basecamp as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week on Alcohollywood, Blake Goble of Consequence of Sound joins us to pay homage to Prince in the wake of his tragic passing with his flawed-but-singular 1984 opus Purple Rain! Telling the tale of young Prince (played here, oddly, by late-twenties Prince already in his sexual-dandy outfits) and his struggle to get to the top of the Minneapolis music scene, Purple Rain is chock full of Prince’s thumping soundtrack, incredible concert sequences, and…some pretty unfortunate acting and a threadbare narrative connecting everything together. In spite of all that, it remains a wonderful testament to the genius of Prince’s persona – put on your raspberry beret and lace cravat and take a listen, along with our custom cocktail and drinking rules! (Thanks to our sponsor Cards Against Humanity as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week, playwright Dusty Wilson joins us once again to keep the rain train a’rolling with 80s action-thriller Black Rain, directed by Ridley Scott! One of the most non-Michael Mann encapsulations of 80s gritty cheese, Black Rain follows hard-nosed Dirty Harry type Nick Conklin (Michael Douglas) as he tries to catch a yakuza murderer who slips from his grasp during a prisoner exchange to Osaka, Japan. The movie’s full of astounding cinematography, amusingly reductive depictions of Japanese culture, and a scene where Andy Garcia shows a Japanese detective how to do karaoke right. Check it out along with our custom cocktail and drinking rules! (Thanks to our sponsor Cards Against Humanity as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

April Showers continues with our guests Scott and Eric of The Butter Hours! Week 2 of our marathon of films with ‘rain’ in the title moves forward with the 1990s action-thriller Hard Rain, starring Christian Slater as a nosy armored truck driver who defends his cargo in a flooding rural town from a group of masermind criminals led by Morgan Freeman. Filled with inexplicable Christian imagery and sassy trap-setting Betty Whites, this ‘Die Hard during a flood’ film is a singular wonder. Check out our thoughts along with our custom cocktail and drinking game! (Thanks to our sponsor Emporium Chicago as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

Now that Jared and Clint have escaped from Mars, they’re stuck on an Earth that perpetually rains! While they figure a way out of this conundrum, they’ll review movies with ‘Rain’ in the title all April, starting with 1988’s Best Picture winner Rain Man, starring Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman as a pair of mismatched brothers – one a selfish yuppie, the other an autistic savant – reconnecting amidst all manner of shenanigans. Despite inspiring a number of crass depictions of developmental disorders in Hollywood and pop culture, the movie itself remains a sweet, funny and surprisingly heartfelt movie. Enjoy it along with our custom cocktail and drinking rules! (NOTE: Given that autism is a serious issue, and the discourse around it can be complicated, we attempted to discuss it in as sensitive a way as we could – particularly in the context of the film. We’re more than happy to hear feedback if there are terms, preconceptions or attitudes we use that do not reflect that experience accurately, so we can be more

This week, Geek Girl Chicago herself Lauren Faits joins us as we finish up our month-long quest with last year’s Oscar Best Picture-nominee The Martian, directed by Ridley Scott and starring Matt Damon as a smarmy botanist who has to Robinson Crusoe his way through Mars while stranded there after being left for dead. A wonderfully straightforward crowd-pleaser, The Martian manages to make science cool again by focusing on the methodical, analytical problem-solving, while miraculously keeping things entertaining. Don’t just take our word for it, though; check out our episode, along with our custom cocktail and drinking rules! (Thanks to our sponsor Cards Against Humanity, as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week, Jared and Clint (along with Justin Gerber of Consequence of Sound‘s new show Gerber & Gerber) kick off week 4 of our Mars-centric March with Disney’s 2012 flop John Carter! Based on the Edgar Rice Burroughs books no one remembers anymore, John Carter is a big shaggy dog of a movie in which Confederate soldier Carter (a totally-surfer Taylor Kitsch) is thrust into a fantasy Mars filled with red men, green men, white apes and blue blood. The film is one of Disney’s most notorious flops, but does that mean the movie itself is bad? How do you avoid looking like a ripoff when all the sci-fi tropes you’re accused of ripping off were ripped off from you in the first place? Take a listen to find out, along with our custom cocktail and drinking rules! (Thanks to our sponsor Basecamp as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

As we continue Mars-ch on Alcohollywood, returning guest Craig (with a little help from new guest Alicia) joins us to talk John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars! An entertainingly cheesy change from the astronaut-based disaster movies that make up most Mars movies, Ghosts of Mars is late-career Carpenter at his most gonzo. Featuring a group of Mars cops (led by Natasha Henstridge and Jason Statham) and a band of criminals (led by professional lip-biter Ice Cube) fending off a group of possessed Martian ghosts who make themselves up like Marilyn Manson, Ghosts of Mars has all the grunge-rock, lesbian subplots and awkward cross-fades you might expect from the master of terror – or not. Check it out along with our custom cocktail and drinking rules! (Thanks to our sponsor Field Notes as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week on Alcohollywood, Ele Matelan of WildClaw Theatre joins us as we continue our March full of Mars movies with the companion piece to last week’s Red Planet, Brian De Palma’s Disney-produced Mission to Mars! Telling the same story of a group of astronauts taking off for the Red Planet (Gary Sinise, Connie Nielsen, Tim Robbins and Jerry O’Connell) to investigate Don Cheadle’s doomed first mission, De Palma’s 2001-lite slog takes some hard left turns amongst its Disney-caliber safeness, and we’ll take you through them along with our custom cocktail and drinking rules! (Thanks to our sponsor Jackbox as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

All of March, the Alcohollywood crew is blasting off to the Red Planet for five movies set on Mars! First up, Nick Freed of Consequence of Sound joins us to talk 2000’s Red Planet (namely, the movie where Val Kilmer threw a dumbbell at Tom Sizemore during filming). The Armageddon to Mission to Mars’ Deep Impact, Red Planet is a bizarre mix of 2001, Stealth and The Matrix in which a group of bro-y scientists crash-land on Mars to investigate a failed terraforming experiment, only to find themselves on the run against a killer military robot they decided to bring along with them! The whole thing is a glorious trainwreck, and we’re here to give you the custom cocktail and drinking rules you need! (Thanks to our sponsor Field Notes as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

It's Oscar season, and this year the Best Picture nominee we're covering is the balls-to-the-wall action extravaganza Mad Max: Fury Road, the fourth film in the ever-so-weird Australian post-apocalyptic action series! Special guest Theo joins us to talk George Miller's crowd-pleasing mix of practical effects, curiously effective visual storytelling, and incredibly dynamic action. It was a surprise hit in the Oscar nominations, but will Clint's effusive praise sway the slightly more skeptical Jared and Theo? Is the movie mediocre or perfect in every way? Find out, along with our Oscar predictions with special guest (and second person who's actually seen the Oscar field) Julia! Don't forget to also check out our custom cocktail and drinking rules! (Thanks to our sponsor Cards Against Humanity as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week, Leah Pickett of Consequence of Sound and other fine publications joins us to delve into our second Tim Allen movie in as many months – 1997’s Jungle 2 Jungle! The American remake of a French comedy that Roger Ebert described as “one of the worst movies ever made,” J2J stars Tim Allen as, of all things, a selfish commodities broker who has to take his jungle-raised son to New York City and teach him the ways of the concrete jungle. Throw in gratuitous tarantula torture, icky stereotypes about native peoples and gays, and subplots about coffee futures and the Russian mafia, and you’ve got a mess of a movie. Give us a listen and check out our custom cocktail and drinking rules! Related Links: Donation Page for Rocket Crocodile’s Action Squad – We’re helping out with a Flop House-inspired charity drive to raise $10,000 for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention – is a fantastic and much-needed cause we’re happy to support. Donations will be matched, so your gift will do double the good! (Thank

Happy Valentine's Day to all you movie/booze lovers out there! This year's romcom is the listener-requested 2006 Nancy Meyers film The Holiday, starring Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet as a couple of down-on-their-luck ladies who decide to swap houses for the holidays to recharge their batteries. Along the way, they meet some hunks, engage in some slapstick, and learn a little thing or two about Old Hollywood. Listen to us yammer on about one of the better romcoms we've had to cover on this show, and enjoy our custom cocktail and drinking rules! (Thanks to our sponsor Jackbox as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week, we break bread (and boards) with returning guest Derek Jarvis as we check out Stephen Chow's cult kung-fu comedy Kung Fu Hustle! A wacky homage to everything from 40s jazz movies to Westerns to classic kung fu cinema of the 70s, Chow's blitzkrieg of high-flying antics, goofy CGI gags and incredible fight choreography from Yuen Wo Ping is something you simply have to see to believe. Along the way, we gab about the cross-pollination of Eastern and Western films, Stephen Chow's crazy sideplots, and a far-too-involved discussion of Animorphs. Check it out along with our custom cocktail and drinking rules! Related Links: The Loose Canon Podcast (recommended on the show!) (Thanks to our sponsor Field Notes as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week, James Thompson (of Geekspotting and the new Meanwhile... Podcast) joins us to take on Constantine, the comic-book adaptation of DC's Hellblazer! Transplanting the British supernatural private eye to LA, and turning him from an acerbic Sting lookalike to dour Keanu Reeves, the film nonetheless gives us oodles of visual style, androgynous Tilda Swinton angels, and a veritable bevy of Catholic creepy-crawlies. Thrill as we discuss Shia Labeouf's stammering (or lack thereof), the fact that Keanu has a vaguely Christian gadget for everything, and more - along with our custom cocktail and drinking game! (Thanks to our sponsor Iron Galaxy as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week on the podcast, Chicago actor and friend of the show Tom McGrath (@TCMcG) joins us to pay tribute to the late, great Alan Rickman with the 1999 sci-fi comedy Galaxy Quest! A pitch-perfect parody/celebration of Star Trek and science fiction fandom that's way better than it has any right to be, Rickman's Spock-like Dr. Lazarus is just one great piece in this hilarious cult puzzle. Along the way, we give our drinking rules, show you the recipe for our custom cocktail (see below), and fill the air with Alan Rickman and Mathezar impressions. By Grabthar's hammer, what an episode! (Thanks to our sponsor Field Notes as a proud part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week on Alcohollywood, we switch gears with Grant from Chip & Ironicus (specifically Chipod Ironicast) to talk the crazy 2009 anime racing flick Redline! Unlike the last anime we watched (Satoshi Kon’s Paprika) Redline‘s uniquely concerned with the fast and the furious – fluid racing animation, a crazy anime story, broad alien characters and all of the jiggling robot boobs a 14-year-old weeaboo could ever hope for. It’s not subtle, and it might not even be good in the conventional sense, but it’s certainly not ordinary. Take a listen and check out our custom cocktail and drinking game! (Thanks to our sponsors Basecamp as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

This week on the podcast, Clint and Jared go it alone as we dive into the deep dark recesses of 90s goth-action-horror with the 1999's Beowulf! "Based" on the 8th-century epic poem, this steampunk/Hot Topic goth retelling of the classic tale sees the Highlander himself, Christopher Lambert (channeling both Rayden and Roy Batty from Blade Runner) arriving at a mysterious post-apocalyptic outpost to help slay a mysterious creature besieging it. Along the way, he ogles Rhona Mitra's comely Kyra, poses incessantly with all manner of weird weapons with gears on them, and generally gets everyone around him killed. Check out our custom cocktail and drinking rules, while we discuss its links to Mortal Kombat, the weird MTV-style sexuality of Grendel's mom, and how these characters seem physically incapable of taking off their leather pants. (Thanks to our sponsor Cards Against Humanity as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

Happy New Year, listeners! Since it's 2016, we thought we'd kick things off with John Hughes' cult comedy classic Sixteen Candles - you know, the one with all the racism and implicit date rape? Returning guest Julia joins us to take on yet another John Hughes movie and yet another high school flick (both subgroups of film that Jared has historically hated). Will he be turned around by the charmingly self-centered travails of sexually frustrated teen Sam (Molly Ringwald), insecure predator The Geek (Anthony Michael Hall), and the "handsome but totally willing to let his girlfriend have blackout drunk sex with a stranger so he can go off and chase another girl" Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling)? We'll give you a hint: a few fun sight gags aside, this film does not age well in 2016. Still, take a listen along with our custom cocktail and drinking rules as we look at this comedy classic both in and out of its very specific cultural context! (Thanks to our sponsor Brewpass as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)