Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Research reveals that 99% of boys have seen pornography by age 15, with the average first exposure occurring around age 10-11. This isn't your parents' magazine under the bed—today's online explicit content is shaping our children's understanding of relationships and intimacy years before their first kiss. This episode provides practical, research-backed strategies for having essential conversations with your children about pornography and online safety. Learn how to protect your kids while maintaining open communication about this confronting but critical topic. Quote of the Episode: "Not talking about it isn't protective. You need to talk about it because that's where the protection comes." Key Points: Average first exposure to explicit content occurs around age 10-11 By age 15, 99% of boys and 50-70% of girls have seen pornography Among 15- to 29-year-olds,  85% consume explicit content weekly or daily Children typically see explicit content 3-3.5 years before their first kiss Modern online por

Your brain is like a monkey—constantly jumping around, thinking of what to say next, and rarely focused on what others are sharing. Learning to shut up and truly listen, especially during those key moments when your child is trying to tell you something important, is perhaps life's most difficult skill. This preview of Saturday's full interview with Ross Judd reveals why listening is so challenging and how three simple steps can transform your connections with those you love. Quote of the Episode: "When we engage, the actual main thing to do here is actually to do nothing. We're not having to fix a problem. We're not having to find solutions. What we actually need to do is to be quiet." - Kylie Coulson Key Points: Don't try to actively listen every minute of every day—it's exhausting and unrealistic. Look for clues that indicate someone really needs to talk (unusual behaviour or emotional signals). When these important moments occur, engage fully by staying quiet and using neutral phrases like

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Schools are failing our children when boys who make sexual threats remain in class with their victims. A toxic combination of pornography access, weak responses, and "boys will be boys" attitudes is forcing young girls out of education.  Quote of the Episode: "When schools allow boys who make sexual threats to remain in class with their victims, they're making a value judgment. They're saying a boy's uninterrupted education matters more than a girl's right to learn without fear." - Justin Coulson Key Points: Sexual harassment via school laptops is happening as early as Grade 7 (age 12) Schools often respond inadequately to sexual threats, prioritising perpetrators' education over victims' safety Easy access to pornography is fuelling inappropriate sexual behaviour among young boys Parents must make noise and demand accountability when their children are victims If your child is a perpetrator, taking responsibility and ensuring consequences is essential Parental monitoring of screen use is the number o

Are we protecting our kids or holding them back? In this episode, Justin talks with Lenore Skenazy about the unintended consequences of overprotection and why kids need to experience risk to build confidence, resilience, and essential life skills. From eliminating stairs in homes to constant parental surveillance, we examine how fear-based parenting is shaping modern childhood—and what we can do to change it. KEY POINTS: The growing trend of designing homes for maximum parental surveillance and risk elimination. Why removing all risks from a child’s life can have long-term negative effects on their mental health and independence. The difference between reasonable safety precautions (e.g., seat belts, helmets) and excessive protection that stifles growth. How parental fear contributes to anxiety, depression, and dependence in kids. Practical ways to introduce independence and calculated risk into children’s lives. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:"Fear doesn’t prevent death, but it prev

Every conflict between children involves two participants, not one. Breaking the destructive cycle requires recognising your child's role in the drama. Meanwhile, a little sweet talking can transform how your teen receives disappointing news, proving that tone matters more than content when communicating with kids. Discover how thoughtful delivery of bad news and understanding conflict cycles can revolutionise your family relationships. Quote of the Episode: "What we say matters a lot less than how we say it." - Justin Coulson Key Points: How you deliver bad news to children significantly impacts their response and your relationship. Showing empathy and consideration demonstrates understanding and improves children's receptiveness. Ongoing conflicts between children create a "vicious circle" that needs conscious intervention to break. Teaching children to recognise their contribution to conflict cycles is essential for resolution. Children can learn to break the cycle by either changing their emotional respo

Research from Princeton University reveals that mandatory reading logs actually decrease children's interest in reading. While a quarter of Australian parents barely read to their kids at all, the solution isn't forcing children to track their reading time—it's making reading irresistible. This episode exposes why reading logs are counterproductive and reveals the three crucial keys to raising passionate readers. If you've ever battled with your child over filling in their reading log or worried about their reading habits, this episode offers game-changing strategies that actually work. Quote of the Episode: "Reading is the key skill to education. It's literally the gateway to all other skills. And if we can get this one thing right with our kids, they're going to make it all right in the world." Key Points: Research shows mandatory reading logs reduce children's motivation and interest in both recreational and academic reading. 25% of Australian parents read to their children once a week or less. Ther

When Lenore Skenazy let her nine-year-old ride the subway alone, she was dubbed "the worst mother in the world." In this preview of Saturday's interview, discover why preparation beats protection and how trusting kids with real responsibility helps them become capable adults. Plus, learn why the illusion of control might be holding our children back. Quote of the Episode: "If you want responsible kids, you have to give them responsibility"—Alfie Kohn Key Insights: Preparation matters more than protection. Trust builds capability and confidence. Control is ultimately an illusion. Mistakes are learning opportunities. Clear boundaries enable independence. Practice builds competence. Real-world experience teaches responsibility. Consequences should lead to learning, not restriction. Resources Mentioned: Let Grow movement Lenore Skenazy's work Jonathan Haidt's research Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Prepare Rather than Prevent Practice skills before independence Provide necessary tools and in

When your child says they hate school and have no friends, what really works? Discover why building friendships takes 200 hours of intentional time, and learn practical strategies from hosting craft days to finding 'third spaces'. Plus, understand the two key relationships that create true school belonging and why sometimes the best friendships might not be with peers at all. Quote of the Episode: "Friends don't usually land in our lap—they require intention and time." Key Insights: Close friendships require 200+ hours of intentional time School belonging needs two key relationships Third spaces beyond home and school are crucial Adult friendships can be valuable for children Structured activities help build new friendships Medical and psychological checks may be needed School relationships often need parental facilitation Quality family time remains foundational Resources Mentioned: Jeffrey Hall's friendship research from the University of Kansas  School belonging research Happy Families Actio

What if you could tap into your child's natural brain chemistry to boost motivation and reduce stress? Discover the "Happiness Quartet"—four key neurochemicals that can transform behaviour, learning, and family life. From barefoot walks on grass to risky play, learn practical ways to naturally boost these powerful brain chemicals for happier, more motivated kids. Quote of the Episode: "Break big, difficult tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps - each step triggers a dopamine hit, which fuels motivation and sense of accomplishment." Key Insights: Dopamine works as an anticipation engine Serotonin acts as a natural stress reducer Endorphins serve as natural painkillers Oxytocin builds trust and connection Nature exposure boosts multiple positive chemicals Physical activity enhances brain chemistry Social connections trigger beneficial hormones Breaking down tasks increases motivation Resources Mentioned: Neuroscience research on motivation Serotonin and nature studies Happy Families Action St

Parenting a neurodivergent child comes with unique challenges, especially when executive function skills—like planning, organisation, and impulse control—are difficult for them. In this episode, Professor Adam Guastella, a leading expert at the University of Sydney, provides expert insights on how parents can advocate for their children in the education system, the latest neuroscience research, the role of executive function in development, and how to provide supportive environments that foster growth and confidence in children.  Tune in for practical advice, strategies for success, and a refreshing sense of hope for families facing these challenges. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“It's not a battle of will, it's a battle of systems.” – Professor Adam Guastella KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Autism is not about intelligence; it's about different ways of thinking and interacting with the world. What is executive function, and why does it matter? The connection between ADHD, autism, an

When your Year 12 child can't do maths or your teen rings crying from camp after being bullied, your instinct is to fix everything. But research shows that simply being heard is often more powerful than any solution. This episode reveals how validation, not problem-solving, helps children develop resilience in challenging situations. Learn the simple two-minute technique that transformed a tearful camp crisis and discover why becoming a "people builder" creates confidence in our children that lasts far beyond any temporary fix. Quote of the Episode: "You don't have to solve; you just have to support. And when the kids can feel it and then you give them an opportunity to find a way forward, they will find it. The answers are deep inside themselves." Key Points: Children need validation and understanding before they can move forward from emotional distress Being a "people builder" creates confidence and resilience in children Emotion coaching involves recognizing feelings, naming them, and allowing them to be

When school photos become weapons through AI manipulation, how do we protect our children? From understanding why teenage boys might engage in this behaviour to knowing exactly what to do if your child is involved, learn practical steps for prevention and response. Plus, discover why biology isn't destiny and how to build empathy in an increasingly digital world. Quote of the Episode: "The collective IQ of boys when they're in a group is significantly lower than the individual IQ of each boy when they're on their own." Key Insights: AI technology creates new forms of harassment Biological factors influence teen boy behaviour Group dynamics affect decision-making Empathy levels change during puberty Traditional photo safety advice may not be enough Quick response is crucial if incidents occur Professional help may be needed Recovery pathways must be available Resources Mentioned: eSafety Commissioner website Law enforcement guidelines School reporting procedures Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: I

When we change environments to support neurodivergent children, everyone benefits. In this preview of Saturday's interview with Professor Adam Guastella from Sydney Children's Hospital, discover why viewing autism as a 'disorder' might be missing the point, and learn how the right support systems can transform outcomes. Plus, understand why insufficient support leads to troubling patterns of bullying and underachievement. Quote of the Episode: "When people have changed environments to be more inclusive to support children with autism and other neurodevelopmental needs, those environments are really good for everyone." Key Insights: Focus should be on changing environments, not just children. Inclusive environments benefit all children. Support needs are both environmental and individual. Better support leads to better educational outcomes. Lack of support correlates with higher bullying rates. Academic underachievement often relates to poor support. Professional collaboration improves outcomes.

Should pocket money be linked to chores? What about paying for good grades? From savings percentages to spending rules, discover why traditional pocket money wisdom might be wrong, and learn a value-based approach that actually works. Plus, find out why regular money conversations matter more than any system you choose. Quote of the Episode: "Money is just a store of value, and the conversation really should move away from money to how am I adding value in the world?" Key Insights: Pocket money should be independent of chores. Paying for grades can decrease intrinsic motivation. The Three S's: Spend, Save, Support. Financial conversations matter more than systems. Value creation should precede money focus. Forced savings can build positive habits. Regular money discussions enhance financial literacy Stretch goals encourage saving behaviour Resources Mentioned: The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel [affiliate link] Happy Families newsletter Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: Separate pocket money

From classic works to cutting-edge neuroscience, discover the books that have shaped modern parenting wisdom. Join Dr Justin Coulson as he shares his carefully curated list of game-changing parenting books, including why each one matters and how they can transform your family life. Plus, hear Kylie's surprising take on which books might matter most of all. Quote of the Episode: "When I think about the kind of parent that I aspire to be, those two books have had more influence in my life than all the other books combined." Key Insights: Great parenting often comes from continuous learning Different books serve different parenting stages and challenges Some classics remain relevant despite their age Picture books can be as influential as academic texts Cultural perspectives offer valuable parenting insights Understanding child development enhances parenting approach Expert knowledge needs to be balanced with practical application Scientific understanding of child development continues to evolve Resources Ment

How much sleep do kids really need? From caffeine myths to screen time truths, sleep specialist Dr Moyra Vandeleur from Royal Children's Hospital unpacks the latest research on children's sleep. Learn why teens naturally stay up late, whether weekend sleep-ins matter, and what the science really says about warm milk before bed. Quote of the Episode: "Sleep, diet and exercise are the three pillars of health - and sleep has only recently been recognized as equally important." Key Insights: Recommended sleep varies by age: Toddlers (1-3): 12-14 hours Preschoolers (3-6): 10-12 hours Primary school (5-12): 10-11 hours Teenagers (13-18): 8-10 hours Individual sleep needs vary Quality, quantity and pattern all matter Teen biology naturally shifts sleep timing later Caffeine affects sleep for about six hours Regular exercise improves sleep quality Screen time before bed doubles sleep difficulties Snoring more than three nights weekly needs medical attention Resources Mentioned: Royal Children's Hospital National

From a ten-year-old willingly trying alfalfa sprouts to teenagers singing while doing dishes, discover how indirect approaches can transform family challenges. Learn why leaving a book about gut bacteria lying around might work better than years of mealtime battles, and how a simple word game can turn kitchen clean-up into family fun. Quote of the Episode: "Force creates resistance. When you try to make kids eat, as we have for so many years... but instead, she reads it in a book and she's willing to give it a crack because she feels like she's in the driver's seat." Key Insights: Indirect approaches often work better than direct instruction Strategic placement of resources can spark interest Games can make chores disappear into the background Family participation makes tasks more enjoyable Children teach themselves when given the right resources Time and patience often yield better results than pressure Fun and connection matter more than task completion Siblings can create effective solutions Resources Me

What happens when researchers analyze 238 studies spanning 51 years and 38 countries? They discover one consistent truth: autonomy support leads to thriving kids, while psychological control leads to struggling ones. Learn why guilt, shame and coercion damage child wellbeing, and discover the three practical steps to becoming a more supportive parent. Plus, understand why this holds true across all cultures and age groups. Quote of the Episode: "If you want to be a great parent, and there was one variable that mattered more than anything else, this is it. It's about autonomy support." Key Insights: Meta-analysis covered 238 studies across 51 years Research included 126,000 participants from 38 countries Results consistent across cultures and age groups Psychological control leads to maladaptive perfectionism Control linked to depression 12 months later Reducing control improves academic performance Findings apply from toddlers through adolescence Three types of control: autonomy support, psychological contro

New research from the National Child Health Poll reveals surprising statistics about children's sleep, including why 42% of kids have sleep problems and why parents' beliefs about teen sleep might be wrong. Learn why screen time isn't actually helping kids wind down, how caffeine affects sleep patterns, and discover the biology behind why teenagers really do struggle to wake up early. Quote of the Episode: "While we're exhausted at 8:30, teenagers are still good to go at 9:00, 9:30 - that's when melatonin starts to kick in." Key Insights: 42% of children have sleep pattern problems 47% of parents wrongly believe screens help wind down Caffeine after lunch doubles sleep difficulties Teen biology affects sleep timing Melatonin production differs between teens and adults Regular sleep patterns matter more than total hours Screen use disrupts natural sleep cycles Sleep routines remain important for all ages Resources Mentioned: National Child Health Poll Happy Families Action Steps for Parents: No Screens Be